SALAAM,
I THINK IT IS WONDERFUL THAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR LACKING AND YOU TRY TO CHANGE THAT FOR THE BETTER. BROTHER ALLAH LOVES THOSE TO REPENT TO HIM AND JUST REMEMBER LIFE IS A TEST AND A STRUGGLE TO US MUSLIMS SO YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER GIVE UP AT ALL. YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE OTHER MUSLIMS TO LEAN ON...