salam to brother omahmed,
firstly i apologize that i promised lastnight, that i will give you advice in the morning and im apologizing for not fulfilling this promise on time. i had some issues i had to sort out regarding the house im currently renting. its complicated.
anyway brother, i have a few tips. i didnt read everyones messages so im sorry if i repeat what someone said. this is what i think:
- you really really love her, you feel it deep and we can see you show it
- she doesnt seem to feel this way
- would you like to be with someone who doesnt feel the way you do?
- or would you like to be with someone thinking and assuming and hoping thats the way they feel too?
- Is it worth spending your time trying to get her when she is not interested not even in a phone call
- is this the type of person you really really want to live with despite her beauty within her heart or despite the good you see in her?
- if you marry her and you have 1% doubt of how she feels about you, this might not help the future relationship between you and her being together.
- this shows how stubborn she is because she will not even talk to you, if she becomes your wife one day, and you upset her or something happens, is this how she will react. couples always fight, if she cant take this one, can she take whats coming. believe me, so much you havent seen yet. living with someone is different then not living with them. but it is still beautiful and so beautiful but life is not perfect. we argue with our parents these days and sometimes hate ourselves so its not as simple living with someone.
-Allah loves you so much, he probably sees so much wrong in her that he doesnt think she is meant for you or the right person for you to marry and Allah looks at your future not just present needs. so pray istikarah to find out what Allah subhana wa talala wants for you.
-make dua 'oh allah i love her so much, i feel its strong love, i want to marry her but if this is not right for me in my life, religion, livelihood, future etc then take it away from me and make it easy for me to deal with and if you know this is right for me in my ....... then make it easy for me to get and softer her heart to me.
- to be honest, if she miss you, she will cry and not sleep and not eat and not reject your calls and maybe to an extent that she may spy on you because of how much she miss you and loves you and wants you. BUT SHE DOES NOT CARE NOR FEEL THIS.
- you seem like a nice person, you deserve best, dont let ladies that dont appreciate you or try to shut you out of their lives, dont let them think your desperate or keen or sorry or what ever its called.
- most ladies love men who are tuff (like myself) i love it when i upset my hubby and he doesnt speak to me or even look at me, i like it because it shows his a man and a man that is punishing me by not talking to me because it hurts me the most. so with less than an hour i could not stand it so i hug him and apologize and he sits down and corrects me and we enjoy the rest of the day. its all about showing who you represent.
as a man, you represent the same respect the prophet (saw) earned from his wives. as a man, you are to stick by your word. try not to be soft. it will make ladies play, seek your attention, boss you, have their word over you, etc. dont be soft. be tuf.
so brother, as a sister, i tell you, put on your sunnies, walk the streets, without thinking or believing she exists. look after your health, heart, and your self, make yourself happy by putting the pass aside including all the love and good in her.
if she is seeing someone else, she might be happy with him, she might love him more, he might feel more for her than you do though you think your love for her is beyond, but they will feel different about each other than you and her would because maybe they are meant to be. so if she is happy with him, and you really love her, you will let he be happy and rely on Allah and trust that he has a better person out there not so stubborn and a person who respects you and is not a souk.
I say all the above with no hard feelings, i say it because i feel these issues and points need to be addressed to you. you should think about them not block them away because of the strength of love you have for her.
this is a test / trial for you, Allah will test you patience, Allah will test if you rely and trust that he will solve it for you, Allah will test if you rely and trust that he has someone else better for you, Allah will test you Iman - are you going to keep being sad, depressed, etc, or are you going to take care of yourself and put on a smile and continue your life in the hope and trust that Allah has created a beautiful and amazing lady just for you. she could be your neighbour, an old lady, an ugly lady, a dumb lady, lol, joking okay, just want you to laugh,
she will be inshalalh, a lovely and loving person, beautiful as can be, loving heart, smart etc but all this to be seen in your eyes not necessary everyones eyes, she is for you. just for you.
so if you want this, dont fight for the one who might be seeing someone else, dont fight for the one who is stubborn, dont fight for the one who you love and she has no heart to answer 1, 1 call from you.
im sorry if you feel im saying bad things about her, or if you dont like the way i speak about her but i really do not mean this, i just want to point some points out to you that you might have blocked because of how strong you love her. she is perfect, loving, nice, beautiful, all the package a man can have, then why, why doesnt she speak to you, or answer 1 call, or forgive you... so thats why i say above but im feel bad saying some of the things i said and if i upset you forgive me and tell me so i can delete it but i put it there for you to see the good and bad and then decide is it worth fighting for.
salam.
