Advice please

[lozzin]

Salem Alikoum Brothers and Sisters

I would like a little advice from you please, especially muslim reverts who are from the UK. I dont mean to be biased but I think they may know my situation a little more, I apologise if this isnt the case.

I reverted to Islam just under a year ago and although I have been struggling with my commitment to it, and have wanted to give in a few times, I have always seen sense and carried on with the right path. My husband is a practising muslim and a very good role model for me to follow, although he was born into a muslim family and doesnt have any of the problems I have. He has only been practising his dene for about 15 months now. He does all his salat and follows the dene the very best he can. He is a very big help to me, may Allah(swt)reward him for this.

Although I took my shahada in December of last year, only my husband and a few muslim brothers and sisters know about me being a revert. I have an 11 year old daughter who lives with us and she respects what my husband does but sometimes finds some of the conditions relating to Islam a little confusing and hard to understand i.e not having photographs and not listening to music or certain things on tv. (I struggle with these things sometimes myself so I know how it is for her). I also have a family who I see regularly and they have never really spoken about religion, apart from my mother who is Christian. I often try and explain things to them about Islam and why my husband does certain things and about the muslim way of life.

My dilema is that I want to tell them the truth about me becoming a muslim so it lifts the weight from my shoulders and makes it alot easier to keep up with my salat because at the moment I dont do salat when any of my family are around and I know this is a major sin. I believe that if I told them then it would be easier to follow my dene altogether.

You may think 'well,whats the problem?' but its a big thing for me as I used to be an athiest before and they have seen my husband change quite alot over this past year or so(some things they think are for the worse) and I have also changed. I have stopped alcohol etc and they have seen a change in me but for some reason I think they will change how they are with me and think that my husband has forced me to take up his religion.

I know that this Christmas will be my last, although I wont be celebrating it like I used to, I have still got my daughter a few presents(which I know is haram but she is non muslim at the moment and I dont want to just take that away from her without her realising why) and I have tried to drop a few hints about me believing in Allah(swt) and that the thought of jesus(pbuh) being the son of god is ridiculous.

Would any of you be able to advise on how to approach the subject or what to say to my family. As I said, I know things would be alot easier for myself and my husband so that we can follow the dene.


Sorry to rattle on a little but I have been thinking about this for a while now and just dont know how to broach the subject. :shymuslima1:

Thankyou for your help.

Salem alikoum

 

[revert2007]

Assalamualikum.

This is the hard thing we reverts get when we convert to Islam.You husband as a born Muslim shold know that women cannot be bend and if he did that u will break.(Am quoting something form the hadith though )

Since you are still a new Muslim perhaps you do not know yet what is haram and hala.Well about the pictures scholors have different opinonssome said u can capture picture through digital cam without printing them cause u do not make a creation of urs but u capture the same creation of Allah's(Allahu alam).

second thing music is not haram but u can use it with a very little limitation.it depends on the type of music ur listening to.(make some research on it though).

ur daughter hasn't hit puberty yet i guess and she is consider a Muslim because her sins will start to be counted when she hit her puberty.so as the Muslim parents raise her islamicly.

there is nothing wrong with giving present to ur daugheter.but chnage ur intention of giving present for christmas to an ordinary presents.

send her to the mosque where they hv classes for kids.she should start learning islam and should start learn how to pray.if u don raise her with good islamic studies,she will be another person on the listen who might be an atheist or christian or someone keep on changing the religion and find a hard way to the right path.

about ur family,just tell them that ur a Muslim and it is ur choice and no one has forced u.Politics and religion is individuals right to choose and i dont think anyone has the right to interfear .

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

As Salaamalaikum waa rahmatullahi

May Allah swt make everything easy for you, sister lozzin. Ameen

Also, very good advise Masha'Allah by sister revert, but I don't get what she meant by the below. \/

second thing music is not haram but u can use it with a very little limitation.it depends on the type of music ur listening to.(make some research on it though).

 

[krackpot]

as far as i have heard music with traditional one sided drum is allowed (not sure)
you can always get her nasheeds by yusuf islam, sami usuf, hijjaz and others....


REVERT 2007 HAS given a beautiful and feasible solution.. do follow it.

 

[Al-Kashmiri]

second thing music is not haram but u can use it with a very little limitation.it depends on the type of music ur listening to.(make some research on it though).

As-salaamu `alaykum

I can't recall a single scholar of Ahl us-Sunnah to believe this. The Prophet, sall-Allaahu `alayhi wasallam, his companions, the salaf and the four madhhabs all agreed on the prohibition of music, except for usage of the duff on weddings.

However, sister Lozzin, takes things step by step. We're not expected to change overnight, and as you know, we can't make people change overnight. The deen takes patience and inshaa' Allaah, things will slowly fall into place.

Your belief that things will be easier if you inform your parents that you accepted Islaam is true in most cases. It should make practicing Islaam easy on you, but do bear in mind that it'll probably start off with fireworks. One of my friends took shahadah and it took him around a year and a half to tell his parents. When he did, there was a lot of heat. But alhamdulillaah, now prayer is easy on him as they know he's a Muslim. They've finally realised that it isn't just a teen's/young persons phase in life, and have grown tired and learnt to tolerate his Islaam, to a degree.

Sorry, I don't know what to add right now. I'm sure there are plenty of reverts here who can share their experiences with you. I wish you the best, may Allaah make your affair easy for you and keep you firm and obedient to Him, Ameen.

 

[abu'muhammad]

:salam2:

lot of advices above. In addition, I would like to remind you of same situation of many early muslims.

In the initial stage of prophethood, There were three years of secret call to islam. The prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam) used to meet and teach, the new converts, the religion in privacy because the call to Islam at that time was still running on an individual and secret basis. After the three years a time came to preach the people openly. Then revelation came from Allah to confront his people, invalidate their falsehood and crush down their idolatrous practices. For full three years prophet (peace be upon him) had narrow circle of early muslims.
- ( ‘ar-raheeq ar makhtum’ - the prophet’s seerah)

So isn’t it enough that we declared faith to Allah. we declare it or not in public is a second matter. - and Allah knows our circumstances.

However if you wish for open declaration then the consequences might or might not be as you have preassumpted.

About music and keeping photos there are a lot threads here on site, discussing the subjects in every detail. These are the topics quite flowing on site, lol. The commonest view of scholars and their agreement on music is - It isn’t allowed except beating ‘duff’ – one sided drum only at a wedding situation.

You can also find relevant information for your questions on,
Abdurrahman.org, fatwaonline.com, islamqa, have a look InshaAllah.