Assalamu alaikum
Masha Allah, juzak allah khair for sharing your experience, and your journey into learning about Islam and being a better Muslim.
The Prophet said, “Believers see their sins as if they were sitting at the foot of a mountain and feared that it may fall on them.
While the corrupt see their sins as if they were a mere fly that flew by their nose.” [Bukhari and Muslim]
The Tawbah of Zâdhân
Al-Dhahabî said about Zâdhân:
He was one of the major scholars, he was born during the life of the Prophet – Allah’s peace and blessing be upon him…he was a reliable and truthful reporter…he reported numerous ahâdîth. The following are some of the Companions he reported from:
* ‘Umar
* ‘Alî
* Salmân (Al-Fârsî)
* Ibn Mas’ûd
* ‘Â`ishah
* Hudhayfah
* Jarîr Al-Bajalî
* Ibn ‘Umar
* Al-Barâ` b. ‘Âzib
Here is the story of how he repented. He narrates:
I was a boy with a nice voice and I was good at playing drums. I was once with a friend and we had nabîdh (a date infusion drink that can turn alcoholic) and I was singing for my friends. Ibn Mas’ûd was passing by and entered upon us; he struck the drink container we had and broke the drum. Then he said, “O boy! If your nice voice was to be heard reciting Qur`ân instead you would be the man!” And then he went on his way. I asked my friends, “Who was that?” They told me it was Ibn Mas’ûd. At that point tawbah was cast into my soul, and so I ran after him crying, I grabbed his garment and he turned to me and embraced me and cried. He said, “Welcome to him who Allah loves. Sit down.” He then went inside and brought out some dates for me.
Thereafter, Zâdhân became pious; Al-Dhahabî also reports that he was seen praying and it was as if he was a piece of wood or a tree in his stillness and humility in prayer.
He died in 82H, Allah have mercy on him.
Al-Dhahabî, Siyar A’lâm Al-Nubalâ`, in his biography of Zâdhân.
The Tawbah of Al-Fudayl b. ‘Ayyâd
Al-Dhahabî describes Al-Fudayl b. ‘Ayyâd as an Imâm, an example, and Shaykh Al-Islâm.
He is renowned as one of the pious Salaf, and many wise and inspiring statements are related from him. Allâh have mercy on him. Here is the story of how he made tawbah.
Al-Fadl b. Mûsâ reports:
Al-Fudayl b. ‘Ayyâd used to be a highwayman, between Abyûrd and Sarkhas. He was in love with a girl, and the cause of his repentance was that he was once climbing a wall to meet her when he heard someone reciting the following verses:
Has not the time come for those who believe, that their hearts should be humbled and submitted (to Allah)…? [Al-Hadîd: 16]
When he heard this, Al-Fudayl said, “Indeed my Lord, it is time.” So he left, and seeking a night’s shelter he found himself at some ruins, and there he saw some travelers. Some of them said, “We should move on.” Others said, “Wait until morning, Al-Fudayl operates in this area, he will rob us.” Al-Fudayl said, “So I thought and said to myself: I spend the night in sin and there are some Muslims here who fear me; I think that Allah only led me to them so that I might take lesson and stop what I am doing. O Allah! I have repented, and as part of my tawbah I will live next to Al-Bayt Al-Harâm (in Makkah).”
Al-Dhahabî, Siyar A’lâm Al-Nubalâ` in his biography of Al-Fudayl b. ‘Ayyâd.