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The Excellence of Raising Daughters
By Yoosuf ibn 'Abdullaah Al-'Areefee
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The encouragement to seek children covers both sons and daughters, and along with this general encouragement Islam has given special merits to seeking and bringing up girls - contrary to the thinking of the people of ignorance (age of 'Jaahiliyyah') of the past and present, since the people of ignorance - wherever and whenever found - hated (some of them 'still do') to have daughters and were grieved and angered by their births!
"And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief! He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonor or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision." (An-Nahl 16:58-59)
But the Messenger of Islam, Muhammad(saw), came elevating the status of this gift given by Allah(swt), welcoming the daughters, and raising high the importance of their upbringing with words to delight the hearts of the believing fathers and bring joy to their souls:
"Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and I will come (together) on the Day of Resurrection - and he interlaced his fingers (meaning in Paradise)." (Reported by Muslim)
So can there be any greater honor given to daughter and for those who wish to have them and bring them up properly? And he said in another Hadith:
"Whoever has three daughters or sisters, or two daughters of two sisters, and lives along with them in a good manner, and has patience with them, and fears Allah with regard to them will enter Paradise." (Reported by Abu Dawud, Al-Tirmidhee and others)
And in another Hadith: "They will be a shield for him from the Fire." (Reported by Ahmad and Ibn Maajah)
And along with the Messenger’s(saw) honoring the daughters with his words, we find that he also gave us a living example in his own actions and behavior - for example,
"One day he (s.a.w) led his Companions in Prayer whilst carrying Umaamah bint Zaynab(ra) when he made rukoo’ he would put her down, then when he stood, he would pick her up." (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
So the position of daughters in Islam is very clear and the encouragement that it gives for them, and also the hatred it has for those who hate them or are grieved at their births! We know from this that hatred in some souls toward something - if found - is not a true judgement upon that thing and this is explained in the Qurân, as Allah(swt) says:
"…If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good." (An-Nisa’ 4:19)
So how many righteous women have brought happiness and well-being upon their families and their Ummah!? And how many corrupt young men have brought every form of misfortune and trial upon this Ummah!?
Therefore, it is upon the parents who have intellect to accept whatever Allah’s(swt) gift is with full joy and happiness, whether the gift is male or a female. Since its being a male or being a female is due only to Allah’s(swt) order alone - He, the One free from all imperfections - and Most High says:
"To Allah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren who He wills. Verily, He is the All-Knower and is Able to do all things." (Ash-Shura 42:49-50)
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Daughters in Islam
`Aa’ishah(r.a.) related: "A woman by the name of Jameelah came to me with her two daughters. She asked me for charity but found nothing with me except a date, which I gave her. She divided it between her two daughters and ate nothing herself; then, she got up and left. After this, the Messenger of Allaah(pbuh) came, so I narrated this story to him; he said: “He who is involved (in the responsibility) of (nurturing) daughters and is generous to them, will have them as a fortification for himself against the Hellfire.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim) In another narration of this incident, `Aa’ishah(r.a.) related: "A poor woman came to me with her two daughters. I gave her three dates; she gave each of them a date and was about to eat the third one when one of her daughters asked her for it, so she divided it between her two daughters and ate nothing herself, and I liked what she did. After this, the Messenger of Allaah(pbuh) came, so I told him what she did, and he said: 'Allaah obligated Paradise for her due to this date, and (also) freed her from Hell.'"(Muslim)
It is enough of an honour for girls that the Prophets may Allaah exalt their mention, had daughters and that most of the children of our beloved Prophet(pbuh) were daughters, namely: Zaynab(r.a.), Ruqayyah(r.a.), Umm Kalthoom(r.a.) and Faatimah(r.a.).
The fruit of raising daughters righteously is reward in this life before reward in the Hereafter; this is proved by the fact that Allaah rewarded the righteous man who raised his two daughters virtuously, the result being Him facilitating the marriage of one of them to the honourable Prophet Moosaa(pbuh).
The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam would express his love for his daughters by, for example, making statements like “(My daughter) Faatimah is a part of me, so whoever angers her angers me.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim)
‘Aa'ishah(r.a.) recounted that Faatimah(r.a.) once came walking in a manner identical to that of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam; When she arrived, he stood up and exclaimed: “Welcome, my daughter!” Then, he seated her to his side and whispered into her ear, and what he had said caused her to cry; then, he then whispered to her again, and she laughed. 'Aa'ishah(r.a.) later asked her: "What made you weep and then laugh?" She replied: "I will never expose a secret that the Prophet(pbuh) entrusted me with." After the death of the Prophet(pbuh) 'Aa'ishah(r.a.) asked her the same questions again, so she answered: "First, he informed me that his death was near, so I cried. After that, he told me that I will be the leader of the ladies of Paradise, so I laughed." (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim)
‘Aa'ishah(r.a.) said: “I have not seen anyone closer in physical appearance and character to the Prophet(pbuh) than his daughter Faatimah(r.a.) … Whenever she would enter into his presence, he would stand up and seat her in his place, and whenever he would enter into her presence, she would stand up, kiss him, and seat him in her place.”
This is how he cared for his daughters. Zaynab(r.a.) who was another daughter of the Prophet(pbuh) sent for him due to her child being close to death, but the Prophet(pbuh) sent the messenger back to her, telling him to tell her: "Whatever Allaah takes away or gives, belongs to Him, and everything with Him has a limited fixed term (in this world); and she should therefore be patient and anticipate Allaah's reward.'' She sent for him again, pleading with him for the sake of Allaah to come. Therefore, the Messenger of Allaah(pbuh) went, accompanied by Sa`d bin `Ubaadah, Mu`aath bin Jabal, Ubayy bin Ka`b, Zayd bin Thaabit and others . The child was lifted up to the Messenger of Allaah(pbuh) while breathing heavily, in the last moments before his death. Upon seeing this, the eyes of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam streamed with tears as a result of compassion that Allaah had placed in his heart. Due to this, Allaah caused the boy to be cured, as Imaam Ibn Hajar stated.
The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam would carry Umaamah(r.a.) during prayer whilst standing, and place her on the ground before prostrating. (Al-Bukhaari)
Once, Faatimah(r.a.) complained to him about suffering due to strenuous housework, and that it was causing her hands to roughen and develop marks; he therefore taught her to mention Allaah before going to bed by uttering 'Subhaan-Allaah' (i.e., glory be to Allaah) and 'Al-Hamdulillaah' (i.e., all praise be to Allaah) thirty-three times each, and thirty-four times 'Allaahu Akbar' (i.e., Allaah is the Greatest); he told her that this would be better for her than the assistance of a servant.
Also, when the family of Abu Jahl requested ‘Ali(r.a.) to marry their daughter, he refused and said: “Never will the daughter of the messenger of Allaah and the daughter of the enemy of Allaah be under (the guardianship of) one man. Faatimah is a part of me, and whoever saddens her has harmed me.” He later stood up and explained to the people that he was not making unlawful what Allaah made lawful, nor was he forbidding polygamy, but rather, he did what he did due to Faatimah being the daughter of a messenger, which is a special case, since no one is permitted to harm the Messenger (pbuh).
Faatimah(r.a.) was courageous and proud of Islam. In the incident when her father was praying in front of the Ka’bah and the disbelievers placed the guts of a camel on his head whilst he was prostrating and then laughed and mocked him, it was she who came, by herself, and screamed at the disbelievers and then removed the guts. (Muslim)
This is how the life of the Prophet(pbuh) was regarding dealing with his daughters, so let us make it a guideline by which we live.
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The Excellence of Raising Daughters
By Yoosuf ibn 'Abdullaah Al-'Areefee
-----------------------------------
-----------------------------------
The encouragement to seek children covers both sons and daughters, and along with this general encouragement Islam has given special merits to seeking and bringing up girls - contrary to the thinking of the people of ignorance (age of 'Jaahiliyyah') of the past and present, since the people of ignorance - wherever and whenever found - hated (some of them 'still do') to have daughters and were grieved and angered by their births!
"And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief! He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonor or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision." (An-Nahl 16:58-59)
But the Messenger of Islam, Muhammad(saw), came elevating the status of this gift given by Allah(swt), welcoming the daughters, and raising high the importance of their upbringing with words to delight the hearts of the believing fathers and bring joy to their souls:
"Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and I will come (together) on the Day of Resurrection - and he interlaced his fingers (meaning in Paradise)." (Reported by Muslim)
So can there be any greater honor given to daughter and for those who wish to have them and bring them up properly? And he said in another Hadith:
"Whoever has three daughters or sisters, or two daughters of two sisters, and lives along with them in a good manner, and has patience with them, and fears Allah with regard to them will enter Paradise." (Reported by Abu Dawud, Al-Tirmidhee and others)
And in another Hadith: "They will be a shield for him from the Fire." (Reported by Ahmad and Ibn Maajah)
And along with the Messenger’s(saw) honoring the daughters with his words, we find that he also gave us a living example in his own actions and behavior - for example,
"One day he (s.a.w) led his Companions in Prayer whilst carrying Umaamah bint Zaynab(ra) when he made rukoo’ he would put her down, then when he stood, he would pick her up." (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
So the position of daughters in Islam is very clear and the encouragement that it gives for them, and also the hatred it has for those who hate them or are grieved at their births! We know from this that hatred in some souls toward something - if found - is not a true judgement upon that thing and this is explained in the Qurân, as Allah(swt) says:
"…If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good." (An-Nisa’ 4:19)
So how many righteous women have brought happiness and well-being upon their families and their Ummah!? And how many corrupt young men have brought every form of misfortune and trial upon this Ummah!?
Therefore, it is upon the parents who have intellect to accept whatever Allah’s(swt) gift is with full joy and happiness, whether the gift is male or a female. Since its being a male or being a female is due only to Allah’s(swt) order alone - He, the One free from all imperfections - and Most High says:
"To Allah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren who He wills. Verily, He is the All-Knower and is Able to do all things." (Ash-Shura 42:49-50)
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Daughters in Islam
`Aa’ishah(r.a.) related: "A woman by the name of Jameelah came to me with her two daughters. She asked me for charity but found nothing with me except a date, which I gave her. She divided it between her two daughters and ate nothing herself; then, she got up and left. After this, the Messenger of Allaah(pbuh) came, so I narrated this story to him; he said: “He who is involved (in the responsibility) of (nurturing) daughters and is generous to them, will have them as a fortification for himself against the Hellfire.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim) In another narration of this incident, `Aa’ishah(r.a.) related: "A poor woman came to me with her two daughters. I gave her three dates; she gave each of them a date and was about to eat the third one when one of her daughters asked her for it, so she divided it between her two daughters and ate nothing herself, and I liked what she did. After this, the Messenger of Allaah(pbuh) came, so I told him what she did, and he said: 'Allaah obligated Paradise for her due to this date, and (also) freed her from Hell.'"(Muslim)
It is enough of an honour for girls that the Prophets may Allaah exalt their mention, had daughters and that most of the children of our beloved Prophet(pbuh) were daughters, namely: Zaynab(r.a.), Ruqayyah(r.a.), Umm Kalthoom(r.a.) and Faatimah(r.a.).
The fruit of raising daughters righteously is reward in this life before reward in the Hereafter; this is proved by the fact that Allaah rewarded the righteous man who raised his two daughters virtuously, the result being Him facilitating the marriage of one of them to the honourable Prophet Moosaa(pbuh).
The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam would express his love for his daughters by, for example, making statements like “(My daughter) Faatimah is a part of me, so whoever angers her angers me.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim)
‘Aa'ishah(r.a.) recounted that Faatimah(r.a.) once came walking in a manner identical to that of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam; When she arrived, he stood up and exclaimed: “Welcome, my daughter!” Then, he seated her to his side and whispered into her ear, and what he had said caused her to cry; then, he then whispered to her again, and she laughed. 'Aa'ishah(r.a.) later asked her: "What made you weep and then laugh?" She replied: "I will never expose a secret that the Prophet(pbuh) entrusted me with." After the death of the Prophet(pbuh) 'Aa'ishah(r.a.) asked her the same questions again, so she answered: "First, he informed me that his death was near, so I cried. After that, he told me that I will be the leader of the ladies of Paradise, so I laughed." (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim)
‘Aa'ishah(r.a.) said: “I have not seen anyone closer in physical appearance and character to the Prophet(pbuh) than his daughter Faatimah(r.a.) … Whenever she would enter into his presence, he would stand up and seat her in his place, and whenever he would enter into her presence, she would stand up, kiss him, and seat him in her place.”
This is how he cared for his daughters. Zaynab(r.a.) who was another daughter of the Prophet(pbuh) sent for him due to her child being close to death, but the Prophet(pbuh) sent the messenger back to her, telling him to tell her: "Whatever Allaah takes away or gives, belongs to Him, and everything with Him has a limited fixed term (in this world); and she should therefore be patient and anticipate Allaah's reward.'' She sent for him again, pleading with him for the sake of Allaah to come. Therefore, the Messenger of Allaah(pbuh) went, accompanied by Sa`d bin `Ubaadah, Mu`aath bin Jabal, Ubayy bin Ka`b, Zayd bin Thaabit and others . The child was lifted up to the Messenger of Allaah(pbuh) while breathing heavily, in the last moments before his death. Upon seeing this, the eyes of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam streamed with tears as a result of compassion that Allaah had placed in his heart. Due to this, Allaah caused the boy to be cured, as Imaam Ibn Hajar stated.
The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam would carry Umaamah(r.a.) during prayer whilst standing, and place her on the ground before prostrating. (Al-Bukhaari)
Once, Faatimah(r.a.) complained to him about suffering due to strenuous housework, and that it was causing her hands to roughen and develop marks; he therefore taught her to mention Allaah before going to bed by uttering 'Subhaan-Allaah' (i.e., glory be to Allaah) and 'Al-Hamdulillaah' (i.e., all praise be to Allaah) thirty-three times each, and thirty-four times 'Allaahu Akbar' (i.e., Allaah is the Greatest); he told her that this would be better for her than the assistance of a servant.
Also, when the family of Abu Jahl requested ‘Ali(r.a.) to marry their daughter, he refused and said: “Never will the daughter of the messenger of Allaah and the daughter of the enemy of Allaah be under (the guardianship of) one man. Faatimah is a part of me, and whoever saddens her has harmed me.” He later stood up and explained to the people that he was not making unlawful what Allaah made lawful, nor was he forbidding polygamy, but rather, he did what he did due to Faatimah being the daughter of a messenger, which is a special case, since no one is permitted to harm the Messenger (pbuh).
Faatimah(r.a.) was courageous and proud of Islam. In the incident when her father was praying in front of the Ka’bah and the disbelievers placed the guts of a camel on his head whilst he was prostrating and then laughed and mocked him, it was she who came, by herself, and screamed at the disbelievers and then removed the guts. (Muslim)
This is how the life of the Prophet(pbuh) was regarding dealing with his daughters, so let us make it a guideline by which we live.
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