Brothers and sisters i need your help and advice.....
I cannot go into every detail as i would be typing all day but please tell me what you think i should do?
I reverted to Islam last December but do not seem to have moved forward much since then. I have learnt al fatiha so i can now do salat on my own but i slack in every part of my dene. Im not proud of this but i just cant help it. Every now and then i get some Iman and pick up in my dene but at the moment im lost. My husband is muslim too but he is very much into his dene and does everything he should and more. We have problems between us and it looks like we are seperating for good soon so this is another thing on my mind.
I dont wear a hijab and i do salat sometimes but none of my family know im muslim so i try and hide it for now. I am not ashamed of being muslim but as im finding it difficult to be a muslim i dont want added pressure of everyone on at me too,which i know they will do.
I read all sorts of stories on TTI saying how everyone feels the 'boost' of being a muslim and the weight lifted from them when they do salat or dua and everyone seems to have the feelings that i dont. When brothers and sisters say they took their shahada they have all progressed in thier dene and have the zest for life and learning.
Please dont get me wrong, i meant every word of my shahada and i still do but i live in a world with non muslims,my husband and i have seperated and i now feel stuck in between the 'old' me and the muslim me. I do not want to go back to how i was because i am scared i will regret it. I do not want to be alone and a failure in my dene but how do i get my life back?
I know when we take our shahada that shaitan will never leave us but i cant believe how hard it is for me. Im not a bad person,i would never hurt anyone,i help others and i have always done my best. Even before being muslim i pretty much acted like one in my kindness and charity etc. I used to drink alcohol,go to pubs and clubs,i used to be such a different person but since i took my shahada i gave up all this but also since then i have had nothing but stress and heartache and pain in my life.
I have no close friends at all and dont like to bother my other muslim friends because i always think they will be sick of me and my troubles(im sure they wouldnt say that though).
I am so so so mixed up and i dont know what to do. I have made salat this afternoon and dua that Allah will guide me to the way he thinks i should go.
I have never felt so lonely and miserable as i do now. I know this is all my fault and noone else is to blame but me. I know i should learn more, meet more muslims and just get on with it and stop complaining but when i try i am always faced with more problems.
I dont know many sisters around my area and the ones i do have big families and are often busy.
Anyway,as i said i will be able to talk all day about my problems so i had better go.
Please make dua for me and ask Allah to guide me.
Sorry for being so miserable and self centred! I hope you dont think bad of me, i am just feeling lost at the moment. :shymuslima1:
Asalaamu Alaikum wr wb, My dear Sister the problem that you have is a problem that a lot of us go through in our lives. Imaan (Faith) goes out of our body as quick as water goes out from a bottle of water when you tip it over.
My sister Allah’s mercy, compassion and forgiveness are all encompassing and his mercy is one of his most important and significant qualities of the almighty in the Qur’an, as well as in the saying and teachings of Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh).
In a Hadith Qudsi Allah states:
"My mercy prevails over My wrath."
The Prophet also once said:
Allah, the Almighty, says: Whosoever does a good deed, will have (reward) ten times like it and I add more; and whosoever does an evil, will have the punishment like it or I will forgive (him); and whosoever approaches Me by one span, I will approach him by one cubit; and whosoever approaches Me by one cubit, I approach him by one fathom, and whosoever comes to Me walking, I go to him running; and whosoever meets Me with an earth-load of sins without associating anything with Me, I meet him with forgiveness like that. (Sahih Muslim)
Approximately 113 chapters of the Holy Qur’an begin with: "In the name of Allah the Most-Compassionate; the Most-Merciful". This is a constant reminder to all who read the Qur’an of the great mercy, compassion and forgiveness of almighty Allah.
My sister if we don’t keep consistent with our deen then it is inevitable that our imaan will decrease. If we don’t let go of our love for this world and worldly things then how can our imaan remain high?
My sister we should thank Allah so much everyday because firstly out of BILLIONS of people that he's created he chose US and gave US imaan! He didn’t have to, he could of created us non believers and he could have created us in ANY time period in history like in the dark ages or in the medieval times or some other terrible time period but he created us in a relatively safe environment in one of the richest countries in the world with luxury, food on a plate, anything we want and all we have to do is look at the unfortunate people who have NOTHING and we will truly realise how lucky we really are and that Allah has given us EVERYTHING! Many times I have been to my native Pakistan and seen the poor there and I just feel SO lucky sister that what Allah has given us compared to these people. I saw a paralysed guy ROLLING around on the streets because he couldn’t walk or afford a wheel chair.
My sister the amount of poverty that people are experiencing in this world and the position Allah has put us in we should constantly be in prostration to him! We are SO SO lucky my sister and we still complain about this and that but we should be ever thankful to Allah night and day! We take for granted what he has given us! He could have created us paralysed or with a terrible debilitating disease but no my sister he has given us health, wealth and best of all imaan!
Please everyday contemplate these things and you will ALWAYS be so so appreciative of Allah because my sister SO SO many people are suffering the most terrible hardships yet we are living in luxury! Look at our poor brothers and sisters in war torn countries and those who are being oppressed by their governments who don’t even allow them to practise their deen yet where we are our governments do allow us to practise our deen properly without any problems.
Even though we sin day in and day out our almighty creator still provides for us, nourishes us, sustains us and gives us EVERYTHING we need EVERYDAY OF OUR LIVES!
My sister we are so lucky if ONLY we knew. Even after our imaan goes down Allah is still trying to guide us. A
All we have to Sister is to make a little effort for EVERYTHING Allah's given us and that is still so hard for us to do!
He gave us life,health,working limbs when there are people who have limbs missing or deformed and he has given us EVERY SINGLE THING and yet we still struggle to thank him and pray to him for a few minutes a day. Even if we were to spend eternity imagining the favours Allahs done for us we would NEVER be able to!
My Sister happiness and contentment of the heart ONLY lies with Allah! Whether we gain this happiness and true contentment really depends on how obedient we are to Allah's commandments! Remember everything that is good comes from Allah and everything bad that happens comes from us and our own doings! Allah tests his creations in MANY different ways!
He may test us in any aspect of our lives! He says in the Qur'an as well that do you think that you will not be tested? What is the point and purpose of life if we are not to be tried and tested by Allah! Allah just wants to see how we will react when were tested! Will we go closer to shaythan or closer to Allah? Why should we let shaythan win? For Allah tests a person so that he may bring them closer to him! Who were tested the most? The prophets! Do you know why? Because they were the best of all creation! So the more Allah tests us the more he wants us to be closer to him because Allah is with the ones who are patient! Subhanallah
It is shaythan who wants us to become closer to him and will we let him? He ONLY wants our destruction! He's trying to keep us away from our deen by trying to distract us with deceptins of this world but will we let him? It is shaythan who wants to make us lose faith in Allah and trying to make us give up hope and get depressed and confused! It is shaythan who wants to see our destruction! Will we let him do this to us and win? Will we let him jeopardise our imaan and bring us to destruction?
My Sister Allah has not asked us for much in this life compared to what he's got on offer for us in the hereafter! Allah has just asked us for full obedience to him for a short amount of time (70 years to the most) and in return for this he has promised us ETERENITY of bliss!
Is that not the most amazing offer one can EVER imagine or comprehend? On top of that Allah has given us everything we need, life, shelter, wealth, food, clothing I can go on and on on the favours of Allah FOREVER!
Allah just wants the best for us and he shows us in the Qur'an that righteousness is the path to success in this world and the next!
This life for us can end at ANY second sister as we have seen for ourselves people dying around us and we know how temporary life is and if we waste our lives further then we will surely regret it on Qiyamat because we will ask Allah for one more chance but it will be too late because Allah will say have i not given you enough chances in this world to change? We would regret it FOREVER if we were to die at this point of our lives because were not even prepared for the hereafter what will we show? What have we got to show to Allah for what we have done with our lives so far? NOTHING!
My sister my dear friend died a couple of weeks ago and he was only 28 years of age. My sister how do we know that ANY second we can go to! If we CONSTANTLY remind ourselves of death then we will NEVER slack in our deen because we would know that the angel of death may take us ANY second!
We get SOO many chances from Allah everyday but yet again and again we don't take those chances and one time we might not get anymore! So it’s best for us to change now and strive to abide by the commandments of Allah and go closer to him because he is our beloved creator and he knows what’s best for us we don't!
We don't know how much time we have left so we should NOT dwell on our past or bad experiences etc because it will do us no good! Being depressed or down about life and losing hope and faith will NEVER benefit us but cause our doom!
If we think to ourselves that life is too short to be down or lose hope and faith and that i should spend most of my time working for the next life then this is the best way to live our lives because what is the point of investing time and efforts in this world when those efforts are for something that is temporary and could end at ANYTIME!
Why not spend our time and efforts on the hereafter which is for ETERNITY and any investment we put into the hereafter will benefit us forever and we will wreak the rewards for eternity!
We all have done mistakes in our life that we wish we can get a time machine and do things differently! We wish we could go back and change things so that things could have been different but what is the point of thinking this way? We are wasting even more time thinking this way when we could be using the precious time that we have in doing things better now and the future because that’s what really counts!
Let’s move on and NOT think and dwell about the past because our life experiences make us who we are and make us wiser people!
Sometimes in life we have to learn the hard way because the hard way is the best way to learn at times and we have to just accept what’s happened and move on because life goes on but we don't know for how long! We have to realise how precious time is!
Death will NEVER be moved forward it will happen at EXACTLY the time it is appointed for and this is something that should really make us realise that we can really DIE AT ANY TIME! So lets forget the past now and move on and do the BEST we can now and the future in pleasing Allah and trying to be the closest to him and repenting our past sins because if we repent with full sincerity with the intention of NEVER doing it again then Allah almighty will forgive us inshallah that’s how merciful he is!
We can work our WHOLE lives 24/7 and build a wonderful life for ourselves here and then the next day we die before we can even enjoy the fruits of our hard labour! What was the point of all that investment just in this world when it can end at ANYTIME!
Let’s ONLY invest the very minimum into this world lets invest as much as we can to the next world which is our final and ultimate destination! The Prophet (saw) says to that we should treat this life as if it were just on a journey! This life is not a very long stop until our final abode which is the hereafter!
When investors are looking to invest in a business venture do they look for short term gains or long term? Obviously long term my sister and that’s what we should be looking for because the cleverest person is the one who makes arrangements for the hereafter and not only in this world!
That’s not to say that we shouldn’t have our share in this world of course we should but we should invest most of our time in the next life which is for ETERNITY!
If we don't then we will regret it forever because on the day of judgement when were standing infornt of Allah we will ask him to give us another chance and put us back on earth so that we may do things better and never transgress but Allah will say i gave u MANY chances and you did not come towards me now you can go towards Hell!
We would NOT be able to handle a single second in the hell fire my sister, we cannot even imagine how terrifying this will be so we should do our best in this life to seek protection from it and make our good deeds balance as heavy as possible!
Sometimes i find it very hard to imagine when i think of the concept of FOREVER! It’s hard to imagine something that will last forever! That it will never cease but will go on and on! It’s not hard to think of temporary because most of the things around us goes through a cycle of life and then ceases to exist!
We see people die all around us we see things ending etc But the concept of forever is unimaginable because nothing in this life is forever! We cannot imagine there hereafter that is why u may find it difficult to comprehend but if we believe in the hereafter then of course we must believe in the full descriptions of heaven and hell!
The disbelievers have nothing to live for! They go through life ONLY living for this and are confused and unaware of the hereafter that they will have to answer to Allah and that a terrible punishment may be coming to them!
Allah guides who he wants and he says in the Qur'an that if he wanted to he would guide all of mankind but that would go against the whole point of this creation and testing mankind! Allah knows best who is worthy of having faith and guidance! But it is truly a sad life for those who have no purpose in this life! They live just for this world! This is their paradise! This is their bliss!
One of the main reasons why we lack in imaan sister is also due to a lack of knowledge of Islam!
Knowledge always makes things clearer to us! If we constantly gain knowledge of Islam and especially the akhirah and at the same time contemplate and ponder over it then my sister our imaan will remain strong because we know what is to come.
My sister our enemy shaythan wats our destruction and he will stop at NOTHING until we desire this world and live for this life but my sister this life is SO SO short that we cannot imagine.
A hadith to the nearest meaning says that when we will be in the akhirah we will be asked "How long were you on the earth for?" We will say " Only for a VERY short while" because the comparison of this world to the akhirah is NOTHING! So when we are in this next world this world will seem like a few seconds!
My sister we will regret every second we wasted! In the akhirah we will wish that we went back to the earth and done things better but this is our chance! My sister we can't waste our one chance we have in this world!
What is this dunya but an illussion and a deception? Allah says this in the Qur'an that this life is like a veil over your eyes its a deception! We have to wake up sister and keep reminding ourselves EVERYday of our purpose!
My sister Allah loves us 70 times more than a mother loves its baby! How much love has our almighty got for us! He looks after us, sustains us and cherishes us but what do we do? We run after this world! We are truly sad and we will be the losers on Qiyamat unless we change NOW!
My sister Ramadan has left us recently and we need to make our vows to Allah that we will ONLY go towards him and we will ONLY put everything into the Akhirah to please him! We need to only live for this world as much as we can survive comfortably but everything we do for this world we should also make the intention of doing it for Allah's pleasure so that we can survive in this world!
My sister we need to get into local Islamic activities so that we can benefit our local Muslim brothers and sisters.
You should join a sisters circle and get away from those who desire only this world!
You are who your friends are and if your friends are those who desire this world then you need to get away from them and go towards those who are working for the akhirah!
My sister in order to attain khushu (imaging we can see Allah when praying or doing good deeds) we need to clear our minds of all thoughts and focus SOLELY on Allah! We need to gain more sincerety in our hearts and clean out from our hearts the love of this dunya!
This can be attained but its not an over night process, but my sister our imaan can constantly remain strong and high if we contantly glorify Allah throughout the day and rememebr him no matter what we do!
We should imagine him watching us glorify him and think of him and we should do lots of duas throughout the day and gain a close relationship with Allah!
We should read much of the Qur'an and its meanings and contemplate and ponder over its meanings. We should try and spend a little time each day trying to memorise bits of the Qur'an and even make intention that we want to memorise all of it because W e will get our reward depending on our intention!
We should try and learn and implement as MANY Sunnahs of our beloved Rasulallah (Saw) as possible who is our role model and we should learn the masnoon duas and implement them EVERYDAY in our lives!
We should learn the life story and the seerah of our beloved Rasul (Saw) and learn about every aspect of his most amazing life! This will surely soften our hearts!
We should learn about the stories of the pious predecessors and the hero women of islam and take them as our heros because they are the true heros of this world!
We should constantly remind ourselves of death and read about it all the time my sister and read about what will happen to us after death in the grave and in the hereafter! We should learn about our possible rewards in Jannah and our demise in Jahannam if we fail and die without imaan May Allah save us all!
We should try and gain a thirst for knowledge my sister because it is said that the ones with knowledge and the ones without knowledge is like the distance from here to the star that you can see shining and learning knowledge of Islam will opens up our eyes wider than they currently are.
We need to LOVE gaining love and try our best to act upon it and implement it in our daily lives and share it with others! My sister we need to try and gain the closeness to Allah by reading MANY nafil salah's.
In the morning when waking up for tahajjud even if its 20 mins before start of Fajr and then wait until Fajr and pray that and then do ibaadah until ishraaq(Sunrise) and then pray that Salah and then the breakfast salah(Salaatul Duhaa) and then pray Zuhr with all the sunnah and Nafil and same with Asr and make some time to do ibaadah until Maghrib and read the nafils after that (Salaatul Awabeen) and read isha and all the sunnah and nafil and do zikr throughout the day, So my sister if we do all of these things then were are implementing Islam FULLY in our lives and we will be SO SO close to Allah and feel the best feeling in our hearts that we can EVER imagine! We will feel the sweetness of imaan!Oh what a beautiful feeling it is! My sister we should try and cry to Allah everyday on our duas and feel him close to us in our hearts!
We should cry over our sins and cry to him for guidance and help in our lives and ask of him for EVERYTHING we want, especially in this last portion of the night where duas are more readily accepted. Just like a mother runs to its baby when its crying then will Allah not swiftly attend to us when we cry to him in dua? We should have hope of his mercy after sincere repentence and make intention not to repeat the sin again but if we do then we should continue to ask for repentance my sister because Allah is most merciful and his mercy overcomes his wrath! Allah gets angry at those who don't ask of him!
We should ALWAYS make dua for our parents and all of the Muslims. If we make dua for EVERY Muslim then we will get the reward of EVERY Muslim. So thats BILLIONS of good deeds evrytime we pray for everyone! We need to make a habit of doing this!
We should from now on have FULL hope in him and him ONLY! We should have FULL reliance in him and accept the fact that if he tests us then he is wanting us to be the closest to him and we should bare the test with patience! He ONLY tests those he wants closest to him!
My sister can you feel in your heart how much you desire to be the closest to Allah? It is because Allah is wanting you to be the closest to him and he is wanting you to desire the next world and not this world which is PATHETIC my sister and NOTHING but deception and a waste! This life is a proto-type of the akhirah. My sister lets get the hubger for good deeds and making Allah the happiest.
My sister people spend their whole lives looking for peace and contentment in their hearts and ALL the worldly goods and money have NEVER given them that! Allah says that ONLY with my rememebance will hearts find contentment! So my sister we have to CONSTANTLY remember him and glorify him!
We need to constantly keep our lips moist from his glorification. Keep a tasbih near to you in your hands ALWAYS because a tasbih is the best reminder for one to do zikr. I find that a metal clicking tasbih is really good and practical to carry ANYWHERE.My sister Allah is watching us in our prayers and EVERYTHING that we do so we need to imagine he is watching us because he ACTUALLY is! What an amazing feel that he is watching us pray and glorify him!
Let’s make the best of every second we have now and NOT waste it anymore by being down or depressed about life because we have go through all the problems and obstacles we have been through and made it to where we are now so what makes us think we won't carry on making it through the rest of our stresses and problems with the help of Allah! Let us FULLY rely on Allah and put our faith, trust and hope in him!
Let’s learn as much as we can about our beautiful way of life because it is truly amazing and has perfect wisdom in it! Once we become closest to Allah we will feel more amazing than we have EVER imagined because Allah says that you will NOT find contentment and true happiness in money or anything else but you will ONLY find true contentment and happiness in me and NOTHING else!
So my sister this is our chance to aim HIGH and gain the HIGHEST positions in paradise! Allah wants you to come closer to him so grab this opportunity and lets keep ourselves strong against the whispers from shaythan who wants our destruction by distracting us with worthless time wasting that will NEVER benefit us but cause our doom!
Allah is beauty itself for he is perfection and the almight master of the universe and we are is lowly slaves who are insignificant like a speck of dust!
We should desire to change our lives FOREVER and we go FULLY towards Allah and make our sole purpose and aim in this life to make him the happiest and shun this world which is deception and a jannah for the non believers for this is their temporary bliss and our bliss will be FOREVER in Jannah inshallah.
Life is so uncertain and we can be taken ANY second my dear sister. We need Allah, he does'nt need us.
We desire Allah and Allah wants us to be the closest to him because he loves us MUCH MORE THAN WE CAN EVER IMAGINE!
So lets show him how much we love him with action and lets glorify him and thank him day and night because he loves those who thank him constantly and are appreciative of him SO SO much!
Let us make NOW the beginning of change in our lives FULL of worship and obedience to him and a life where we will spend it making him the happiest and he will fulfill our needs and give us peace and contentment in our hearts which is the best feeling anyone can EVER imagine! I've pasted some very beneficial and useful weblinks for you to read which will inshallah help you further. Please remember me in your dua's.
Signs of Weak Iman and How to Increase It
http://www.missionislam.com/knowledge/weakimanfix.htm
10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/religion-...man-faith.html
The Four Poisons of the Heart
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=42540
A party in Paradise, A party in Hellfire
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=39698
The Spectacle of Death - Tawfique Chowdhury
http://www.islamictube.net/watch/161...ique-Chowdhury
The Ultimate Motivation for Muslims
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49243
The State of the People of Paradise in this World
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49125
The Death of The Prophet Muhammad(pbuh)
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40388
25 Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=43178
The Best role models for Muslim Women
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41302
13:11 Verily never will Allah change the condition of a people until they change it themselves (with their own souls).) You need a strong will , and a good muslem company .......I suggest that you try to solve your problems with your husband since he can be of a great help in sticking to Islam .......so why not try? change may be difficuilt but the fruits are so sweet.
