How to marry someone for their religion???

[newusman]

How to marry someone for their religion???

Hadith Al-Bukhari - Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.

My question is that how do you measure other persons religion?
for example: the other day I was in a mall, and 2-3 niqabi women passed by, and it seemed that they had just spilled over themselves an entire bottle of perfume!!! & I suppose that we all know the hadeeth of Prophet (PBUH) regarding women putting on perfume...
& this is not the first time this happened??? I certainly am not suggesting that all of the niqabi/hijabi females do such. But how does one go about looking for a spouse that is religious, what is the criterion?
JazakAllah khayr

 

[Khadi_M]

They will marry a man who doesn't care about some rules as they don't do or they will marry a man who will stop them doing so.
It is a very good questions.Actually I happened to pass women in niqab many times here and some of them used extra strong perfumes that you could smell from the distance.I guess they think if they are fully covered no man can be seduced by their beauty(except for perfumes only).

 

[Mabsoot]

:salam2:

Just because someone is wearing Niqab or someone has a big beard does not mean they are religious.. Or, even if they are "Religious", it does not mean they are following Islam correct. It may well be they have bad belief in Aqeedah or something. Infact, most here in Uk are like that. In other countries, women wear niqab or hijab due to it being part of the culture or they are made to.

Obviously, many women do wear hijab sincerely out of their own love and devotion to Islam. But, we need to keep these things in mind.

The most important part of Muslim's belief is their belief in Tawheed and Aqeedah. This is more important than even if they do not wear hijab etc.

Allah knows who his best and true slaves are.

As for Criterions, it is impossible to have the correct criterion if one does not know Islam him/herself. So, first we must study Islam, what does the Quran and Sunnah say. What is our belief in Allah? What is the correct Aqeedah that we should have? Whats it mean to be following Quraan and Sunnah with the understanding of the early Muslims?? - These are questions we must answer ourselves first. It is a learning process.

We should look for spouses that care for Islam and really wish to follow it according to the original teachings.

wasalam.

 

[newusman]

JazakAllah khayr for replying,
Yeah I was wondering what type of question a person should ask when searching for a spouse.
After the incident which I mentioned above, I thought it would be appropriate to ask why does the lady wear a hijab? Is it really out of love for Allah(swt), meaning she does so because Allah commands her to do so, or is just for culture.

If any brother/sister has gone through this process of questioning the potential spouse, then please share this knowledge with us.
JazakAllah khayr.

 

[ya allah madad]

brother ,if u ask such question in our country ,u will certainly be kicked off,

 

[BintMuhammad]

:salam2:

Just because someone is wearing Niqab or someone has a big beard does not mean they are religious.. Or, even if they are "Religious", it does not mean they are following Islam correct. It may well be they have bad belief in Aqeedah or something. Infact, most here in Uk are like that. In other countries, women wear niqab or hijab due to it being part of the culture or they are made to.

Obviously, many women do wear hijab sincerely out of their own love and devotion to Islam. But, we need to keep these things in mind.

The most important part of Muslim's belief is their belief in Tawheed and Aqeedah. This is more important than even if they do not wear hijab etc.

Allah knows who his best and true slaves are.

As for Criterions, it is impossible to have the correct criterion if one does not know Islam him/herself. So, first we must study Islam, what does the Quran and Sunnah say. What is our belief in Allah? What is the correct Aqeedah that we should have? Whats it mean to be following Quraan and Sunnah with the understanding of the early Muslims?? - These are questions we must answer ourselves first. It is a learning process.

We should look for spouses that care for Islam and really wish to follow it according to the original teachings.

wasalam.

:salam2:

Super agree.

Seriously, I ask right away if he's not following some deviant sect. If he says NO, I ask him questions that will help me find out it's true. Questions like how does he perceive Allaah swt? how does he pray? Does he follow the belief that Allaah swt is everywhere? What does he think about Music? Do they not use chairs and tables when eating and find it Bid'ah to use it? LoL ( I know it sounds silly but it's true coz some sect do believe in that) Does he put some brick infront of him when praying? and the list goes on and on..but ofcourse I don't ask them all at once :shymuslima1:

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

I think it also important to remember one of the purposes of marriage is that it increases our imam. We have someone to pray with, someone to recite the Quran with and someone to help teach our children what is the criterion for right. A woman is blessed by a man who desires these things for his family and a husband is blessed by a woman who will secure an Islamic household.

 

[halah]

asslamu alaikum,
It's really very important topic,but I think asking questions about his or her belief are not enough........
One of my relative got married to someone who was supposed to be a committed religiouse man and he has 2 daughters from an exmarriage,but after marriage she dicovered that he doesn't care about anything or any one,he spends his time on watching on movies or sleeping,he lets his daughters whom are at the age of 16 and18 go out with friends till the midnight and goes to sleep............by the way he has a long beard and when you talk to him you cann' discover his reallity.

 

[buraq]

asalam-o-alikum,,,,

if i am wrong then forgive me,,,
but i,m sure Muhammad(pbuh) said that we should investigate about our spouse to be
so i would ask about him at the local masjid, and gett o brother to follow were he gose at eveings,
Most men even muslims say what they want to get what they want,

Allah hafizz

 

[najbc]

That is good question. Since I been on this website this question and other question relate to marriage have come up many times. So I am curiosity how in Muslim country do people get marry. What i mean is that I have seen many brothers and sisters in the west worry about find the right person and how they would know if the person is the right one. Did these questions come up in marriage in the Muslim country? In the west, it seems marriage is complete especially for us young Muslims.

 

[Bawar]

if we look at the sunna of prophet s.a.w, we can clearly see that he s.a.w made marriage simple.
what i sense here is that some brothers/sisters make it extemely hard.

it is not fair to be hard on others and expect them to be perfect or else you will be left single for the rest of your life.

marry the muslim sister/brother if she/he is following the basics and try on improving the rest after marriage, by example.

wassalam

 

[newusman]

I guess a simple question like the one found in the following hadeeth will be good


Muawiyah bin Al-Hakam As-Salmi said:

"I had a slave-girl who used to herd sheep for me. One day I discovered that a wolf had killed one of her sheep, and I'm a man from the children of Adam, I get upset like they get upset, and I slapped her in the face. Then I went to the Prophet who impressed upon me the seriousness of my act. I said, 'O Messenger of Allah, should I not set her free?' He said, 'Bring her to me.' He asked her, 'Where is Allah', She said, 'He is above the heavens.' He said, 'Who am I?' She said, 'You are the Messenger of Allah.' He said, 'Free her, for she is a believer.' (Muslim and Abu Dawud)


Dr Bilal Philips explained this in his book The fundamental of Tawheed pg 145

inshAllah others can contribute more ideas of asking such questions.