I have 1 question regarding Islam

rtbour

american muslima
Hello! This is my first time posting, and I have a big question that I really need answered. I need to know how men and women are equal in Islam, but the Qur'an states that 2 women are equal to 1 man in the form of a witness, 1 man can have 4 wives, and women are given less inheritance than their male counterparts. I am very interested in Islam, and I am stuck on this ONE issue. I really need an answer, but no one I have asked is able or willing to answer. I have asked another website this same question, and no one ever responded. I really want to understand the reasoning behind this different but equal thing. Thank you! :confused:
 

Amir_of_spain

Junior Member
i watched a doha debate on this, so i will summarise what i heard...
1) men and women are equal, as stated in quran, women will get rewarded for she does and so will the man, so both are equal in front of allah
2) equality in our terminology means fairness, not equality in terms of western understanding, as we believe that the physical, emotional and pyschological differences in men/women means we got to accommodate these features in society, hence women cant be equal to men due to these differences
3) that ayat u quoted above about witnesses is related to economical law
4) men can have more wifes because its a solution to the reality that men out number women
5) men are given more inheritance because they are the ones that have to provide for the family, even if the women works, thats her own money, husband cant touch it, so in this situation women are favoured, to make it balanced out men have more inheritance as they have more to burden economically

so to summarise women are equal but because there are gender differences, in islam we take this into consideration eg men and women are better at different things, finally many women dont have rights in muslim lands simply due to centuries of backwardness, culture and tradition which has affected our leaders and law makers.
 

wonnee3

Trying 2 plz ALLAH
i watched a doha debate on this, so i will summarise what i heard...
1) men and women are equal, as stated in quran, women will get rewarded for she does and so will the man, so both are equal in front of allah
2) equality in our terminology means fairness, not equality in terms of western understanding, as we believe that the physical, emotional and pyschological differences in men/women means we got to accommodate these features in society, hence women cant be equal to men due to these differences
3) that ayat u quoted above about witnesses is related to economical law
4) men can have more wifes because its a solution to the reality that men out number women
5) men are given more inheritance because they are the ones that have to provide for the family, even if the women works, thats her own money, husband cant touch it, so in this situation women are favoured, to make it balanced out men have more inheritance as they have more to burden economically

so to summarise women are equal but because there are gender differences, in islam we take this into consideration eg men and women are better at different things, finally many women dont have rights in muslim lands simply due to centuries of backwardness, culture and tradition which has affected our leaders and law makers.
As Salaamu Alaykum, agree w/u... xcept 4 the Men out numbering Women, i think u type 2 fast...LOL
 

IbnAdam77

Travelling towards my grave.
peace b upon u

men and women have responsibilities in islam..some of them are special for men and some are special for women..for example: women are capable of getting SAME reward that men gets while they beat their enemy in the battle field, by staying at home according the command of the almighty ALLAH..this simple example even shows that although there are physical differences, there is no difference on the Thawab and Azab according to gender..
it is HIS mercy that we have differences..and it is HIS mercy that he gave the job of 'home minister' to women..
hope you can benefit by this and hope other brothers and sisters will help you..
my sujjestion is to ask an imam in your place about this..surely they will welcome you..
may ALLAH tha'aala guide u to the strait path
 

Musulmanin

Junior Member
Here is an answer given by former preacher Yusuf Estes to the same question that you are asking


Question - "Islam gives man permission to marry four wives. Why can't a woman have four husbands?

Answer - Al Hamdulilah, was-salat was-salam ala rasoolullah. Allahu 'Alim.
(It is Allah who has All Knowledge).

Rights and Limits

First of all, it is important for us to keep in mind that Islam came to establish two very important fundamentals for human beings:
Rights and Limits.

Everyone and everything has certain rights given to it by the Creator and Sustainer of the universe (Allah). At the same time, each creation has its own limitations established by Allah.

First Right - Allah has the right to be worshipped without making partners from what He has created. Direct worship to Him, alone.

Second Right - Prophet's right to be followed according to his treaching and commandments.

Third Right - Parents rights to be honored and cared for, with special emphasis on the mother first.

Fourth Right - Wives and Husbands have rights on each other.

Conditions 1,400 Years Ago

Now let us do some basic research here. We begin by looking into the condition of the women in various societies at the time 1,400 years ago when Allah revealed the Quran to Muhammad, peace be upon him.

Pagan Arabs - Burying Girls Alive

During that time the pagan Arab men used to bury their newborn daughters alive in the sand, out of shame for having something so low and disgusting like a girl instead of a son. Women were treated horribly and with utter disgust.

Men could marry as many as they liked and very often they owned women like cattle or sheep. There were no laws to protect the women and they had no rights at all.

Christians - Arguing If Women Had Souls


Christians at that time were holding council meetings to determine whether or not a woman even had a soul. The church blamed "Eve" the mother of all humans after Adam, peace be upon him, for the "original sin" and damned her and her seed for what she had done.

Priests - Best Men - Forbidden Marriage - To Any Women

Priests, bishops, cardnels and even the Pope are the very best of the Catholic men within the church. Yet the church still forbids their clergymen the chance for marriage and families. This unnatural situation has caused very serious ramifications throughout the society around the world.

Nuns - Best Women - No Marriage - No Children

Nuns are the very best of the Catholic women. They cover themselves in proper attire much the same way as the Muslim women. Yet, they are never allowed to marry or have children throughout their lives. This unnatural condition has caused untold number of disgraceful and disgusting practices within the very church itself.

If Only Bad People Have Children - What About Tomorrow?


We must ask the question, "If the very best of the men and the very best of the women are not allowed to marry or have children - does this mean only the worst of the people are the ones allowed to reproduce and populate the world?" - And where will that leave us tomorrow?

Jews - Blame Women and Curse Women

The Jews blamed women for the "original sin" and as such they were treated with disgust. A woman's monthly cycle was considered by the Old Testament of the Bible to be a "curse from God" for her inequities. Her child bearing pains were also a 'punishment from God' for her bringing man down from heaven.

Islam - No Blame On Women For Evil

Islam does not blame Eve for Adam's sin. Each of them accepted their own mistake and repented to Allah, and asked Allah to forgive them and Allah did forgive them.

Now before going any further, please read surah An Nisa (chapter 4 in the Quran) - all the way through, in order to better understand what is actually being said about women, men and marriage.

Read Quran

Now let us think about the verses. Do you believe that Allah Knows what He created and He has revealed the perfect 'deen'? Do you know the condition of the people at the time the order came to restrict the number of wives? (Restricted to be only four)

Now read the verse about having more than one wife, very carefully. [4:3]

What does it say? And what do you understand from it?

Now read the ayah (verse) that forbids men to marry women who are already married. [4:24].

Now read from An Nisa (Chapter 4) about the role of men and women. [4:34]

Man Supports And Protects Women


Do you understand that one must take on the role of supporter, protector, provider, custodian and servant to the family (man's role)?

Woman Gives Birth - Raises Children


One must take on the role of carrying the child and delivering it and then feeding it and raising it to become a true servant of Allah (woman's role).

Not Equal - But Treated Fairly In Justice


Men and women are not the same nor are they "equal" as some folks would have us believe. Whatever is on one side of an 'equals' sign must be exactly the same as what is on the other side without any difference in value, only in the way that it is expressed. How then could we say that a man, who is unable to conceive or give birth and then breast feed a baby is the equal to a woman who can?

Equal In Faith And Actions

They are equal in their beliefs and good deeds of course. But still they are not the same as each other. Each one must fulfill their role as humans.

Children's Rights Protected

Islam is also very much about rights. Children also have rights in Islam. When a man dies his wealth is left to his family. How could the court know who to give the wealth of a man, if he was one of several husbands to a woman? How would a child know who his father was? No society ever supported the concept of a woman being married to two or more men at the same time.

Women's Right - Best Treatment

Almost every society supported the concept of a man having more than one woman. Yet, they did not limit the number nor did they provide the protection and maintenance that Islam insists on for each one. Islam came to set things straight. Women were given rights. Men were strictly ordered to treat their women with the very best of treatment.

Limit - Number in Marriage

When the verse was revealed the companions of Muhammad, peace be upon him, did not run out with the attitude that they were going to get four wives all of a sudden. Some of them already had much more than that and these men had to divorce their wives, if they had more than four. So this was not an order to go out and get four wives. It was an order to begin limitations. And the first limitation was; No more than four.

Limit - Equal Maintenance and Treatment

Second, the limitation of equal treatment for all of them. How could a man keep more than one wife unless he was exceedingly wealthy and/or exceedingly strong and virile?

Next, the limitation very clearly states; ".. but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one ..."

Muslims Today - Most Monogamous

Step by step, the men of Islam have come to be known today as the most monogamous of all men on earth (we only have one wife). Check for yourself and see. In the majority of all the Muslim homes on earth, a man gets married once, to one woman and then he stays married to her until the death of either himself or his wife.

Woman's Right To Choose Any Husband She Likes -
Even If He Is Already Married

One very important point that is often overlooked by modern society is the right that Islam gave to the women that it does not give to the man. A man is limited to marry only from the woman who is not already married. Obviously, this provides rights for the children and provides for them from inheritance from the father. But Islam also permits the women to marry a man who is already married to protect her in a society where the number of women outnumbers the population of men. Additionally, the woman has a large selection of men to choose from. In fact, she has the right to choose from any man in the community as long as he does not already have four wives. She also has the opportunity to see how the other wife was being treated and go into a marriage knowing exactly what to expect from her husband. After all, he must treat her in the same way as he is treating the other wife.

Women Need Husbands - Allah Provided the Answer

The prophet, peace be upon him, predicted that in the Last Days the women would outnumber the men to a great extent. Today we are seeing this become a reality all over the world. Allah has already provided for us for this occasion. After all, He is the One who makes it all happen and He already knew that many women would come into Islam in these days. He also knew many of the Muslim men would be killed or die at an early age, just as it is happening these days. These women all need husbands. Allah has given us the solution to all of life's problems.

Women's Right to Vote - 1,400 Years Ago

We might add that Islam also gave the women full status as citizens over 1,400 years ago by giving her to right to speak and vote the same as anyone else. American women had to take their cause to the streets with "Women's Suffrage" and were not granted the right to vote until just ninety years ago.

Women Keep Their Identity - And Their Names

Additionally, Islam protected women's rights to keep their identity and they were not considered property of some man. As such, they were no longer forced to change their last names to be that of their husbands. This is still the practice of Muslim women today just as it was fourteen hundred years ago.

Women Keep Their Property And Earnings - Men Must Share

Yet, at the same time the western society is so concerned about the way Islam demands that a couple be married, the man actually must work instead of the woman; the woman owns her own property without giving anything for the support of the house or the child; a child has the right to his or her own mother raising them instead of a baby sitter or day care; father must support his children; divorce is hated; and marriage is sanctified.


Yusuf Estes
National Muslim Chaplain

www.islamtomorrow.com
 

Rawa

Junior Member
salam

Hello! This is my first time posting, and I have a big question that I really need answered. I need to know how men and women are equal in Islam, but the Qur'an states that 2 women are equal to 1 man in the form of a witness, 1 man can have 4 wives, and women are given less inheritance than their male counterparts. I am very interested in Islam, and I am stuck on this ONE issue. I really need an answer, but no one I have asked is able or willing to answer. I have asked another website this same question, and no one ever responded. I really want to understand the reasoning behind this different but equal thing. Thank you! :confused:

Salam,
Welcome to TTI.
That is your right to have questions. In Islam knowledge is a lock, its key is questions. The stupidest questions a person has, are the ones s/he does not ask.

2 women are equal to 1 man in witness. It is mostly related to business when one has a contract with someone else, and when the Holy Quran states that, it is just after talking about business contracts. And, almost in all societies, men know better than women in business. Remember, there are cases that the witness of a woman is accepted but the witness of hundreds of men is not accepted? E.g. when giving birth in a woman hospital, if two women give the birth of a boy and a girl, and a nurse gives the boy to the wrong woman and the girl to the other woman, the witness of another nurse in the ward is more acceptable than the witness of hundreds of men? So, what do you say about that? By the way Islam is a so-rich-religion that things are not either black or white, but need careful consideration. (I can provide the name of the scholar who gave this info.)

A man can married upto 4 wives?

It is very restricted to be able to marry more than one wife. One should have a rightful justification to marry the second or the third wife. However, due to wars, and the nature of the work of men, working mostly outside, men face death more than women. So, it is a good idea to keep the balance betwen the two genders by marring more than one wife. Moreover, a woman has period every month once, it lasts for a few days, sisters know better, and she cannot do sex during this time each month, while a man might want to do sex in this duration, I think you understand what I mean. Another reason, a woman gives the birth of a child, a month before and 40 days after giving the birth, cannot do sex. So, what do you say for the man who want to do sex, is it right to deprive him from doing sex for 70 days? Another reason, scientifically, a man can have more times of sex than a woman for the same duration. I think it is very clear now... However, it is a condition that a man must be fair amongst his wives so as to be able to get the 2nd, 3rd or 4th wives, if he just has fear that he cannot be fair, then I slam confrimly advises him to JUST get married ONE.

Women are given less inheritance than men. That is right. Imagine a brother and a sister you know. 2000$ is given to the man and 1000$ is given to the woman. You say, " why?"
In Islam, when a man and a woman get married, the man is responsible for the costs of the marriage, wedding party, etc. But the woman pays nothing. So, the brother should spend the 2000$ to get married, while the sister keeps her 1000$ in her pocket and her prospective husband pays for the costs. After the marriage the brother should work and earn money for his family, but the sister still keeps her 1000$ and her husband is responsible for earning money for the family. Moreover, the sister can put her money in a business project and increase her money while still her husband should earn money for the family. (It reminds me of the old ladies who work in the city centres in England, they are too old to do such a kind of work, selling sandwiches, for example. In Islam, her husband is responsible for her costs, although a Musim woman can work as well, like 1000s of Muslim women who are doctors, engineers, reachers, etc.) I think now it is very clear why a woman has less inheritance than a man.

I hope these explanations help. I personally had these questions before, but ask to get knowledge, that is a good technique.
Wish you happiness and success
Rawa
Liverpool
 

islamdbest

New Member
Are women are deficient?

www.calltoislam.com

Putting “Women Are Deficient In Their
Intellect” In Its Proper Context
[Adapted from articles by Shamshad.M.Khan and Dr. Sherif Abdel Azeem]
Call To Islam Research

Introduction[/B]Using cut and paste statements, and ignoring the context in which statements were made the recent ‘Dispatches’ documentary was full of lies and half truths.
The aim of the programme was to sensationalise Islam and demonise the callers to Islam. No doubt this is excellent for improving viewing figures, but not so good for a balanced discussion about Islam. This article will explain in some detail the meaning behind one of the statements made by our brother Abu Usaamah.
They quoted Abu Usaamah as saying: “women are deficient in their intellect..”
This is in fact a statement of the Prophet Muhammad (sallallaahu alayhi wa
sallam) which when understood in its proper context, is in no way demeaning to women.
The following is a collection of statements from leading psychologists and
scientists’ regarding aspects of a woman’s nature which have been decreed by Allaah the Most High. By understanding the innate differences between men and women, a husband should be more understanding towards his wife. If we overlook these differences, it will lead to frustration and conflict between spouses.
A second article will highlight the Jewish and Christian views of women.
‘Despatches’ would do well to attend an orthodox synagogue to listen to the daily prayer made:
Praised be God that he has not created me a gentile. Praised be God that he has
not created me a woman. Praised be God that he has not created me an
ignoramus.1
Statements from leading practitioners
Pre Menstrual Syndrome.
Psychiatry in Practice, April 1983 issue states:
"Forty percent of women suffer from pre-menstrual syndrome in some form and
one in four women have their lives severely disrupted by it. Dr Jill Williams,
general practitioner from Bury, gives guidelines on how to recognise patients at
risk and suggests a suitable treatment." [Psychiatry in Practice, April 1993, p.14]
In the same issue, George Beaumont reporting on the workshop held at the Royal
College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists in London on pre-menstrual
syndrome, says:
"Some authorities would argue that 80 percent of women have some degree of
breast and abdominal discomfort which is pre-menstrual but that only about 10
percent complain to their doctors - and then only because of … mental
depression... Other authorities have suggested that pre-menstrual syndrome is
1 Leonard J. Swidler, Women in Judaism: the Status of Women in Formative Judaism
(Metuchen, N.J: Scarecrow Press, 1976) pp. 80-81
www.calltoislam.com
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a new problem, regular ovulation for 20 years or more being a phenomenon
caused by 'civilisation', 'medical progress', and an altered concept of the role of
women." [Psychiatry in Practice, April 1993, p.18]
In its examination of the occurrence of physical and psychological change during
the period just prior to the onset of menstruation we read in Psychological
Medicine:
"Many studies have reported an increased likelihood of various negative affects
during the pre-menstrual period. In this affective category are many emotional
designations including irritability, depression, tension, anxiety, sadness,
insecurity, lethargy, loneliness, tearfulness, fatigue, restlessness and
changes of mood. In the majority of studies, investigators have found it
difficult to distinguish between various negative affects, and only a few have
allowed themselves to be excessively concerned with the differences which might
or might not exist between affective symptoms." [Psychological Medicine,
Monograph Supplement 4, 1983, Cambridge University Press, p.6]
In the same article dealing with pre-menstrual behavioural changes we read:
"A significant relationship between the pre-menstrual phase of the cycle and a
variety of specific and defined forms of behaviour has been reported in a number
of studies. For the purpose of their review, these forms of behaviour have been
grouped under the headings of aggressive behaviour, illness behaviour and
accidents." [Psychological Medicine, Monograph Supplement 4, 1983, Cambridge
University Press, p.7]
The lengthy review portrays how female behaviour is affected in these situations.
In 'The Pre-menstrual Syndrome', C. Shreeves writes:
"Reduced powers of concentration and memory are familiar aspects of the
pre-menstrual syndrome."
This does not mean, of course, that women are mentally deficient absolutely. It
just means that their mental faculties can become affected at certain times in
the biological cycle. Shreeves also writes:
"As many as 80 percent of women are aware of some degree of pre-menstrual
changes, 40 percent are substantially disturbed by them, and between 10 and
20 percent are seriously disabled as a result of the syndrome."
Furthermore, women face the problem of ante-natal and post-natal depression,
both of which cause extreme cycles of depression in some cases. Again, these
recurring symptoms naturally affect the mind, giving rise to drowsiness and
dopey memory.
Pregnancy
On the subject of pregnancy in Psychiatry in Practice, October-November 1986,
we learn that:
"In an experiment 'Cox' found that 16 percent of a sample of 263 pregnant
women were suffering from clinically significant psychiatric problems. Eight
percent had a depressive neurosis and 1.9 percent had phobic neurosis. This
study showed that the proportion of pregnant women with psychiatric problems
was greater than that found in the control group but the difference only tended
towards significance." [Psychiatry in Practice, October-November, 1986, p.6]
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Post-natal depression
Regarding the symptoms during the post-natal cycle Dr. Ruth Sagovsky writes:
"The third category of puerperal psychiatric problems is post-natal
depression. It is generally agreed that between 10 to 15 percent of women
become clinically depressed after childbirth. These mothers experience a variety
of symptoms but anxiety, especially over the baby, irritability, and excessive
fatigue are common. Appetite is usually decreased and often there are
considerable sleep difficulties. The mothers lose interest in the things they
enjoyed prior to the baby's birth, and find that their concentration is impaired.
They often feel irrational guilt, and blame themselves for being 'bad' wives and
mothers. Fifty percent of these women are not identified as having a depressive
illness. Unfortunately, many of them do not understand what ails them and
blame their husbands, their babies or themselves until the relationships are
strained to an alarming degree." [Psychiatry in Practice, May, 1987, p.18]
Menopause
There is a need to study the effects of the menopause about which very little is
known even to this day. This phase in a woman's life can start at any time from
the mid-thirties to the mid-fifties and can last for as long as 15 years.
Writing about the pre-menopausal years, C.B. Ballinger states:
"Several of the community surveys indicate a small but significant increase in
psychiatric symptoms in women during the five years prior to the cessation of
menstrual periods... The most obvious clinical feature of this transitional phase of
menstrual function is the alteration in menstrual pattern, the menstrual cycle
becoming shorter with age, and variability in cycle length become very prominent
just prior to the cessation of menstruation. Menorrhagia is a common complaint
at this time, and is associated with higher than normal levels of psychiatric
disturbance." [Psychiatry in Practice, November, 1987, p.26]
On the phenomenon of menopause in an article in Newsweek International, May
25th 1992, Dr. Jennifer al-Knopf, Director of the Sex and Marital Therapy
Programme of North-western University writes:
" ... Women never know what their body is doing to them ... some reporting
debilitating symptoms from hot flushes to night sweat, sleeplessness,
irritability, mood swings, short term memory loss, migraine, headaches,
urinary inconsistence and weight gain. Most such problems can be traced to the
drop-off in the female hormones oestrogen and progesterone, both of which
govern the ovarian cycle. But every woman starts with a different level of
hormones and loses them at different rates. The unpredictability is one of the
most upsetting aspects. Women never know what their body is going to do to
them... "
Infertility and Miscarriage.
Then there are the psychiatric aspects of infertility and miscarriage. On the
subject of infertility, Dr. Ruth Sagovsky writes:
"Depression, anger and guilt are common reactions to bereavement. In infertility
there is the added pain of there being nobody to grieve for. Families and friends
may contribute to the feeling of isolation by passing insensitive comments. The
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gynaecologist and GPs have to try to help these couples against a backdrop of
considerable distress." [Psychiatry in Practice, Winter, 1989, p.16]
On the subject of miscarriage the above article continues:
Miscarriage can at times have profound psychological impact and it is important
that those women affected receive the support they need. Approximately onefifth
of all pregnancies end in spontaneous abortion and the effects are poorly
recognised. If however, the miscarriage occurs in the context of infertility, the
emotional reaction may be severe. The level of grief will depend on the meaning
of pregnancy to the couple." [Psychiatry in Practice, Winter, 1989, p.17]
Emotional differences between men and women
Also, the fact that women are known to be more sensitive and emotional than
men must not be overlooked. It is well known, for example, that under
identical circumstances women suffer much greater anxiety than men.
Numerous medical references on this aspect of female behaviour can be given but
to quote as a specimen, we read in 'Sex Differences in Mental Health' that:
"Surveys have found different correlates of anxiety and neuroticism in the two
sexes. Women and men do not become equally upset by the same things, and
being upset does not have the same effect in men as in women. Ekehammer
(1974; Ekehammer, Magnusson and Ricklander, 1974) using data from 116
sixteen-year-olds, did a factor analysis on self-reported anxiety. Of the eighteen
different responses indicating anxiety (sweating palms, faster heart rate, and so
on) females reported experiencing twelve of them significantly more often than
males. Of the anxiety-producing situations studied, females reported
experiencing significantly more anxiety than males reported in fourteen of them."
[Katherine Blick Hoyenga and Kermit T. Hoyenga in Sex Differences in Mental
Health, p.336]
It is in light of the above findings of psychologist, psychiatrists and researchers
that the saying of the Prophet (salalahu alaihi wa sallam) is understood. He
(salalahu alaihi wa sallam) asked:
"Isn't the witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man?" The women
said, "Yes." He said, "This is because of the deficiency of a woman’s mind."
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 48, Number 826)
The Dispatches programme tried to show that the “extremist Muslims” (according
to their false definition) had an intolerant world view, unlike their “moderate” sufi
friends. However the statements that these “extremist Muslims” made were
taken directly from the Prophet (salalahu alaihi wa sallam) himself. Hence the
statements made regarding women, hijab, prayer of a child, the age of marriage,
jihad, prohibition of homosexuality, etc were from the religion of Islam, and were
not the personal view of these speakers. Hence by attacking these views, the
programme attacked Islam. Secondly, the programme did not provide a full
opportunity for Muslims to explain the reason behind these Islamic injunctions.
How Islam views women
One must also bear in mind that forgetfulness can be an asset. A woman has to
put up with children presenting all kinds of emotional problems and a woman is
certainly known to be more resilient than man. The aim of presenting the above
research findings on a number of aspects related with the theme is to indicate
that a woman by her biological constitution faces such problems. It does not
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however make her inferior to man but it does illustrate that she is different.
Viewed in this way, it can only lead one to the conclusion that Allaah knows His
creation the best and has prescribed precise laws in keeping with the nature of
humankind. Allaah, the Creator is All-Knowing and man (or the disbeliever in
Allaah and the final, perfected, revealed way of life) is - as usual - either ignorant
and arrogant.
The Prophet Muhammad (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) was neither a psychologist
nor a psychiatrist. Rather, he merely conveyed the truth that was revealed to
him. He stated:
"Treat your women kindly. The woman has been created from a rib, and the
most curved part of a rib is its upper region. If you try to straighten it you will
break it, and if you leave it as it is, it will remain curved. So treat women kindly."
And in another narration: "If you try to straighten her you will break her and
breaking her means divorce." [Reported by al-Bukhârî and Muslim]. This is very
important advice for the man - for him to have patience and not to try to 'reform'
the behavioural pattern of the woman during these times i.e. 'to straighten her'.
He will not be able to do that, as it is biological in origin. Instead, he should
maintain and protect his relationship with her by showing kindness.
A Woman’s Testimony in Christian and Jewish scriptures
Women were not allowed to bear witness at all in early Jewish society.2 The
Rabbis counted women's not being able to bear witness among the nine curses
inflicted upon all women because of the Fall (see the "Eve's Legacy" section).
Women in today's Israel are not allowed to give evidence in Rabbinical courts.3
The Rabbis justify why women cannot bear witness by citing Genesis 18:9-16,
where it is stated that Sara, Abraham's wife had lied. The Rabbis use this
incident as evidence that women are unqualified to bear witness. It should be
noted here that this story narrated in Genesis 18:9-16 has been mentioned more
than once in the Qur’aan without any hint of any lies by Sara (Quran 11:69-74,
51:24-30). In the Christian West, both ecclesiastical and civil law debarred
women from giving testimony until late last century.4
If a man accuses his wife of unchastity, her testimony will not be considered at all
according to the Bible. The accused wife has to be subjected to a trial by ordeal.
In this trial, the wife faces a complex and humiliating ritual which was supposed
to prove her guilt or innocence (Num. 5:11-31). If she is found guilty after this
ordeal, she will be sentenced to death. If she is found not guilty, her husband
will be innocent of any wrongdoing.
Besides, if a man takes a woman as a wife and then accuses her of not being a
virgin, her own testimony will not count. Her parents had to bring evidence of
her virginity before the elders of the town. If the parents could not prove the
innocence of their daughter, she would be stoned to death on her father's
doorsteps. If the parents were able to prove her innocence, the husband would
2 Leonard J. Swidler, Women in Judaism: the Status of Women in Formative Judaism
(Metuchen, N.J: Scarecrow Press, 1976) p. 115.
3 Lesley Hazleton, Israeli Women The Reality Behind the Myths (New York: Simon and
Schuster, 1977) p. 41.
4 Matilda J. Gage, Woman, Church, and State (New York: Truth Seeker Company, 1893) p.
142
www.calltoislam.com
6/6
only be fined one hundred shekels of silver and he could not divorce his wife as
long as he lived: The Bible states:
"If a man takes a wife and, after lying with her, dislikes her and slanders her and
gives her a bad name, saying, 'I married this woman, but when I approached her,
I did not find proof of her virginity,' then the girl's father and mother shall bring
proof that she was a virgin to the town elders at the gate. The girl's father will
say to the elders, 'I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes
her. Now he has slandered her and said I did not find your daughter to be a
virgin. But here is the proof of my daughter's virginity.' Then her parents shall
display the cloth before the elders of the town, and the elders shall take the man
and punish him. They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to
the girl's father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She
shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives. If,
however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, she
shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of the town
shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being
promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from
among you." (Deuteronomy 22:13-21)
published: 14-09-07
 

rtbour

american muslima
Wow! Thanks to everyone for this huge amount of information. It really makes me feel good that you all responded to this question. You answered everything clearly and I understand the differences now. Thank you so much for all of your help, all of you! I am very excited to see where Allah and Islam will lead me. I feel like I just can't get enough information- kind of like someone who doesn't drink water for a week, then finally gets to drink it. They can't stop. Thanks so much for your help!
 

Nazihah

Be A Stranger
Hey rtbour!

Welcome to TTI!
MashaAllah, our brothers and sisters here have answered to your question well. May Allah s.w.t reward them.

InshaAllah, I hope you'll enjoy your stay here. If you have any further questions with regards to Islam or anything else, please feel free to post it here. We will try our best to help you.

Peace. :)
 

Musulmanin

Junior Member
Wow! Thanks to everyone for this huge amount of information. It really makes me feel good that you all responded to this question. You answered everything clearly and I understand the differences now. Thank you so much for all of your help, all of you! I am very excited to see where Allah and Islam will lead me. I feel like I just can't get enough information- kind of like someone who doesn't drink water for a week, then finally gets to drink it. They can't stop. Thanks so much for your help!

It's great that you ask questions, please don't hesitate to ask more questions, inshAllah (God-Willing) we will try to answer them to the best of our knowledge.

Islam has answers to all questions, praises to Allah, The Wisest!

Welcome to the site
 

abubaseer

tanzil.info
Staff member
Hello rtbour,

I wish you all the best in your quest to learn the truth about Islam.

I have one request as a Muslim for you, always ensure that the information that you are read about is Islam is authentic.

Authentic information will always be backed by references from Quran and hadeeth rather than just the opinion of the author.

There are some authentic articles on Islam in the below link:
link -->http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=10
 

umm hussain

Junior Member
Men and Women in Islam: Equal or Equally Balanced?

Men are not superior to women and women are not superior to men in Islam. Allah Almighty makes it perfectly clear that those superior are those who have more taqwa (god fearing consciousness) In Islam, men and women do not have equal rights, but their rights are different because of their nature. Their rights are equally balanced.

Let me quote Dr Zakir Naik from his lecture "Women's Right in Islam Modernizing or Outdated?"

As I said in the beginning of my talk, Islam believes in equality between men and women - Equality does not mean identicality.

Suppose in a classroom 2 students, student ‘A’ and ‘B’, during an examination both come out first - Both secure 80% marks - 80 out of 100

Out of the hundreds of students, 2 come out first ‘A’ and ‘B’

When you analyze the question paper, the question paper has 10 different questions, each carrying 10 marks.

In question 1 student ‘A’ got 9 out of 10, and student ‘B’ got 7 out of 10 - So in question 1 student ‘A’ was higher than student ‘B’.

In question 2, student ‘A’ got 7 out of 10 and student ‘B’ got 9 out of 10,
- Student ‘B’ was higher than student ‘A’ in question number 2.

In question 3 both of them got 8 out of 10, both were equal

So when we add up the marks of all the ten questions, both student ‘A’ and ‘B’ got 80 out of 100

So in short, student ‘A’ and student ‘B’ are over all equal

In some question ‘A’ is higher than ‘B’, in some question ‘B’ is higher than ‘A’, in others both are equal

In the same fashion, taking the example that since Allah has given man more strength - Suppose a thief enters the house will you tell, ‘I believe in women’s rights - I believe in women’s rights’ - will you tell your mother, your sister and your daughter, to go and fight the thief?’

No, but natural you’ll fight him - If required they may interfere - under normal circumstances since Allah has given you more physical strength, you have to go and tackle the thief.

So here, in physical strength, man is one degree higher than the woman

Let us take another example where… where it comes to giving respect to the -where it comes to respecting the parents - The children are supposed to respect the mother 3 times more than the father.

Here the women have one degree higher than the men - Over all both equal

Yes it is true, the child is supposed to treat his or her mother better than the father. Here is the hadith...

SAHIH MUSLIM, BOOK 32: The Book of Virtue, Good Manners and Joining of the Ties of Relationship (Kitab Al-Birr was-Salat-I-wa'l-Adab)

Book 032, Number 6180:

Abu Huraira reported that a person came to Allah, 's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said: Who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand? He said: Your mother. He again said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Holy Prophet) said: Again, it is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he said: Then it is your father. In the hadith transmitted on the authority of Qutalba, there is no mention of the word" the people".

This is indeed a great honor that Allah has given to the woman.

SAHIH BUKHARI, BOOK 92: Holding Fast to the Qur'an and Sunnah

Volume 9, Book 92, Number 395:

Narrated Warrad:

(The clerk of Al-Mughira) Muawiya wrote to Al-Mughira 'Write to me what you have heard from Allah's Apostle.' So he (Al-Mughira) wrote to him: Allah's Prophet used to say at the end of each prayer: "La ilaha illalla-h wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahul Mulku, wa lahul Hamdu wa hula ala kulli shai'in qadir. 'Allahumma la mani' a lima a'taita, wala mu'tiya lima mana'ta, wala yanfa'u dhuljadd minkal-jadd." He also wrote to him that the Prophet used to forbid (1) Qil and Qal (idle useless talk or that you talk too much about others), (2) Asking too many questions (in disputed Religious matters); (3) And wasting one's wealth by extravagance; (4) and to be undutiful to one's mother (5) and to bury the daughters alive (6) and to prevent your favors (benevolence to others (i.e. not to pay the rights of others (7) And asking others for something (except when it is unavoidable).

The Prophet emphasized the greatness of the sin of some one disobeying his or her mother more than the father.


SAHIH MUSLIM, BOOK 1: The Book of Faith (Kitab Al-Iman)

Chapter 31: THE USE OF THE WORD" UNBELIEF" IN CASE OF SLANDERING (ANYONE) OR ONE'S LINEAGE, AND LAMENTATION

Book 001, Number 0161:

It is reported on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) observed: Avoid the seven noxious things. It was said (by the hearers): What are they, Messenger of Allah? He (the Holy Prophet) replied: Associating anything with Allah, magic, killing of one whom God has declared inviolate without a just cause, consuming the property of an orphan, and consuming of usury, turning back when the army advances, and slandering chaste women who are believers, but unwary.

Here we see that one of the seven deadly sins is slandering chaste women. How come slandering men is not there? Slandering men indeed is a great sin however, the sin for slandering chaste women is worse. See the honor that God Almighty has given to Muslim women in order to preserve and maintain their honor.

There are only a couple of examples to show that women might seem to have more rights in certain areas than men, while men have more rights than women in certain areas as well.

By
Bassam Zawadi
 

umm hussain

Junior Member
hie

I think it will be easier if I post 2-3 separate replies rather than One REALLY long article which will be boring to read.

Is there equality between men and women in Islam?

Yes there is, and that is a spiritual equality and not an Earthly Physical one; meaning that the equality between men and women in Islam is determined by their belief and righteous work, but their roles and responsibilities in life are different because of their physical and emotional differences.

Let us read what Allah Almighty Said in His Holy Book, the Noble Quran:

Allah Almighty ordered men in the Noble Quran to take care of women and to protect them; "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. (The Noble Quran 4:34)"

Allah Almighty also ordered men in the Noble Quran to love and respect their wives; "O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good. (The Noble Quran, 4:19)"

Allah Almighty equalizes between men and women; "To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female children to whomever He wills and bestows male children to whomever He wills. (The Noble Quran, 42:49)"

Allah Almighty equalizes between men and women in good deeds; "If any do deeds of righteousness be they male or female and have faith, they will enter Heaven, and not the least injustice will be done to them. (The Noble Quran, 4:124)"

Allah Almighty further equalizes between men and women; "For Muslim men and women,- for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in Charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves), for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in God's praise,- for them has God prepared forgiveness and great reward. (The Noble Quran, 33:35)"

Righteousness determines the value of humans in Allah Almighty's sight. It is not their gender or race: "O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other. Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well-acquainted. (The Noble Quran, 49:13)"
 

umm hussain

Junior Member
Spiritually men and women are indisputably equal!

"If any do deeds of righteousness,- be they male or female - and have faith, they will enter Heaven, and not the least injustice will be done to them. (The Noble Quran, 4:124)"

"O mankind! [this includes all races and all nations] We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other. Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well-acquainted. (The Noble Quran, 49:13)"

"For Muslim men and women,- for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in Charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves), for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in God's praise,- for them has God prepared forgiveness and great reward. (The Noble Quran, 33:35)"

"And their Lord hath accepted of them, and answered them: "Never will I suffer to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female: Ye are members, one of another: Those who have left their homes, or been driven out therefrom, or suffered harm in My Cause, or fought or been slain,- verily, I will blot out from them their iniquities, and admit them into Gardens with rivers flowing beneath;- A reward from the presence of God, and from His presence is the best of rewards." (The Noble Quran, 3:195)"

"The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another: they enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practise regular charity, and obey God and His Apostle. On them will God pour His mercy: for God is Exalted in power, Wise. (The Noble Quran, 9:71)"

"And among God's signs is this: He created for you mates from amongst yourselves (males as mates for females and vice versa) that you might find tranquillity and peace in them. And he has put love and kindness among you. Herein surely are signs for those who reflect. (The Noble Quran, 30:21)"



A "great deal of good" exists in women:

"O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good. (The Noble Quran, 4:19)"

The inheritance law in Islam and in Christianity:

Many times in debates with Christian and non Muslim folks, they bring the inheritance law in Islam as an unjust law to women. According to Islam, the son inherits double the daughter, which means that: One son gets what two daughters get. It is quite unfortunate that Islam is the most misunderstood religion in the world, and the inheritance law in Islam is just one little example of many that needs to be clarified so people would realize the real wisdom and justice in Islam and start appreciating it and respecting it more.

My dear Muslim brother or sister, or my dear fellow Christian friend, according to Islam, it is my responsibility as a man to provide the financial source to my wife, kids, parents (when they get old), and my sisters (if they become widows). And if I refuse to support my widow sister for instance, then if she decides to take me to court and sue me, and prove that I make enough money to be able to support my wife, kids and my widow sister, then the court will force me to pay her money every month to support her. This law in Islam is called the law of "Nafaqa".

The woman according to islam does not have to provide a single dollar, nor her husband has the right to ask her or force her to use her money to support her husband and kids. In fact, just to show you how fair and respectful Islam is to women, a woman has the right to ask her husband for money for breast feeding her their child.

Furthermore, according to the Islamic laws, the husband does not have the right to force his wife to work if she doesn't want to. It is the man's primary responsibility to support his family financially, and not the woman. Also, in Islam, the wife has all the right to ask her husband to pay for her education if she wishes to go to school. Women in Islam have the right to be educated, and it is their parents' responsibilities (if the women are single), or their husband's responsibility to pay for their education.



Inheritance in the Bible:

Let us look at "If a man dies and leaves no son, turn his inheritance over to his daughter. (Numbers 27:8)"

So in other words, women (daughters, sisters and mothers) don't inherit anything if a man (son) is present.

The following was sent to me by brother Yishan Jufu; may Allah Almighty always be pleased with him:

Female inheritance

One of the most important differences between the Quran and the Bible is their attitude towards female inheritance of the property of a deceased relative. According to Numbers 27:1-11, widows and sisters don't inherit at all. Daughters can inherit only if their deceased father had no sons. Otherwise the sons receive the entire inheritance. Among the pagan Arabs before Islam, inheritance rights were confined exclusively to the male relatives. The Quran abolished all these unjust customs and gave all the female relatives their just share (4:7,11,12,176).

(c) http://www.warwick.ac.uk/~suaaf/articles/JuChIsWoman.html



So is Islam fair then?

It is quite obvious that Islam by far honors women in inheritance more than the Bible does. The Bible doesn't even regard the women's existence in inheritance if a son is present. The son takes all in the Bible.

In Islam, on the other hand, the daughter gets half of what the son gets, because under the law of "Nafaqa", the son is responsible to support his (1) Wife and Kids; (2) Old Parents; (3) Widowed Sisters. In Islam, the wife doesn't have to provide any financial support to her family. Only the man does. So, it is very fair for the man to get equivalent to two women of inheritance in Islam.

Wouldn't you agree with me that if it is the man's responsibility to support his parents (when they get old), wife, kids, and widow sisters, then it makes perfect sense for the man to get more money than the woman in inheritance?
 
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