History: my father has refused many suitors for the past 6 or 7 years. Even to one that i really wanted to marry. Brothers in the community have tried to correct him on his deen and have tried telling him the importance of marriage. He has refused. The brothers who tried to talk to him no longer live in the community.
Well there is this brother, that i have found(my father hasnt actively looked for a suitor for me), and we tried to get my father involved , but for some reason my dad believes that i will quit college when im married. his plan for me was to get my Masters degree, live by myself for 3 years, then 'think' about getting married. Ive tried giving him daleel about marriage, but to no avail. For all the times ive bought up marriage we come to very heated arguements. (I mean HEATED arguments!) This time he took 'my car' and my insurances, and said things i wont say on this forum.
We went to a masjid to have a sit-down with them imam, but he wont conduct it unless my dad approves. Ive told him that he does not want to be the wali, ive even told him my father has refused many suitors in the past. and according to Uthaymeen his rights as my guardian have expired. I dont know what to do. Me and my father have never had a good relationship. Ive done what i could to make him happy but it wont happen. Should i just try another masjid? Also for anyone of you, have you had a fight with parents, how did you start communicating with them again? FYI: im scared of him. astaghfirallah, i know i should only fear Allah, but the things ive been through with this man have scarred me. Ive even been to therapy because of him. Im salafi, he hates salafi's, i also wear niqab, he hates that ive chosen to wear it. i havent told him im salafi since im scared of what he'll say. Bruises heal but words can stay with you forever. i need help. At first my dad was happy about it, then he hated, then he was happy, then he hated it (you get the picture) Its been so up and down. I havent talked to my dad since then. I cant take it anymore. i want to talk to him, to convince him to at least approve of this so that we can get our nikkah. im about to cry as i type this. also i dont have any other male relatives who are muslim. What do i do? Jazakallahu khair
Well there is this brother, that i have found(my father hasnt actively looked for a suitor for me), and we tried to get my father involved , but for some reason my dad believes that i will quit college when im married. his plan for me was to get my Masters degree, live by myself for 3 years, then 'think' about getting married. Ive tried giving him daleel about marriage, but to no avail. For all the times ive bought up marriage we come to very heated arguements. (I mean HEATED arguments!) This time he took 'my car' and my insurances, and said things i wont say on this forum.
We went to a masjid to have a sit-down with them imam, but he wont conduct it unless my dad approves. Ive told him that he does not want to be the wali, ive even told him my father has refused many suitors in the past. and according to Uthaymeen his rights as my guardian have expired. I dont know what to do. Me and my father have never had a good relationship. Ive done what i could to make him happy but it wont happen. Should i just try another masjid? Also for anyone of you, have you had a fight with parents, how did you start communicating with them again? FYI: im scared of him. astaghfirallah, i know i should only fear Allah, but the things ive been through with this man have scarred me. Ive even been to therapy because of him. Im salafi, he hates salafi's, i also wear niqab, he hates that ive chosen to wear it. i havent told him im salafi since im scared of what he'll say. Bruises heal but words can stay with you forever. i need help. At first my dad was happy about it, then he hated, then he was happy, then he hated it (you get the picture) Its been so up and down. I havent talked to my dad since then. I cant take it anymore. i want to talk to him, to convince him to at least approve of this so that we can get our nikkah. im about to cry as i type this. also i dont have any other male relatives who are muslim. What do i do? Jazakallahu khair