muhammad.abdullah
Junior Member
:salam2:
My dear brothers and sisters, i hope you are all fine. I am about to share a friend of mines experience. He is more than a friend to me to be honest, his joy brings me joy and his gloom brings me gloom. Here is the thing that i need advice on, BE CAREFUL of what you say here because i would advise him accordingly.
He is engaged to a very good girl. She prays, fasts and the regular stuff and above all is more intelligent than people of her age. However, there have arisen some issues between my friend and her fiancee. He loves her dearly and doesnt want to let go but he is very much hurt as well. The thing is that after some time after the engagement, she started phoning him asking him questions like, why do you want to marry me? what are your ambitions in your life? how much do you care about my education? Why did you propose me if you didnt know me well? How do you plan to spend a life with a person without knowing her all? How strong are you mentally? If it were a choose me and choose your mom situation, what would you do regardless of whatever happened? And then came the pettiest questions like Would we go on holidays each year and the like of that.
Now the problem is they have had 3 or 4 fights over the phone because she refused to marry him after they had been engaged for more than 5-6 months saying that she doesnt find him strong and he doesnt understand her and at one point said that it was all because of formality that she was behaving the way she had, that is smiling and getting along nicely.
Although all of this is over now i mean both of them have let bygones be bygones and although my friend, more of my brother doesnt love her an ounce less than he did before the fights, he is badly hurt, confused and scared. He thinks that after marriage, she will not respect him, not care for him as a wife should, she would not understand him and he is afraid that he will not be able to befriend her as his best friend. He is so confused that sometimes he starts crying on his own without any reason and at other times he is as quite and as pale as a dead person.
Let me tell you something, i know him since he was a child, he intends to treat his wife according to quran and sunnah and he really means it and thats what he has told his fiancee. He had prayed istikhaara a few times and everytime he found his inclination towards her increasing. What should he do, should he let her go, the person he loves more than himself or should he stay with the situation and see what happens and shudder off his fears?
Plz, maybe your word of advice would help me comfort him or help him take the right decision. Its about my brothers life so be compassionate.
My dear brothers and sisters, i hope you are all fine. I am about to share a friend of mines experience. He is more than a friend to me to be honest, his joy brings me joy and his gloom brings me gloom. Here is the thing that i need advice on, BE CAREFUL of what you say here because i would advise him accordingly.
He is engaged to a very good girl. She prays, fasts and the regular stuff and above all is more intelligent than people of her age. However, there have arisen some issues between my friend and her fiancee. He loves her dearly and doesnt want to let go but he is very much hurt as well. The thing is that after some time after the engagement, she started phoning him asking him questions like, why do you want to marry me? what are your ambitions in your life? how much do you care about my education? Why did you propose me if you didnt know me well? How do you plan to spend a life with a person without knowing her all? How strong are you mentally? If it were a choose me and choose your mom situation, what would you do regardless of whatever happened? And then came the pettiest questions like Would we go on holidays each year and the like of that.
Now the problem is they have had 3 or 4 fights over the phone because she refused to marry him after they had been engaged for more than 5-6 months saying that she doesnt find him strong and he doesnt understand her and at one point said that it was all because of formality that she was behaving the way she had, that is smiling and getting along nicely.
Although all of this is over now i mean both of them have let bygones be bygones and although my friend, more of my brother doesnt love her an ounce less than he did before the fights, he is badly hurt, confused and scared. He thinks that after marriage, she will not respect him, not care for him as a wife should, she would not understand him and he is afraid that he will not be able to befriend her as his best friend. He is so confused that sometimes he starts crying on his own without any reason and at other times he is as quite and as pale as a dead person.
Let me tell you something, i know him since he was a child, he intends to treat his wife according to quran and sunnah and he really means it and thats what he has told his fiancee. He had prayed istikhaara a few times and everytime he found his inclination towards her increasing. What should he do, should he let her go, the person he loves more than himself or should he stay with the situation and see what happens and shudder off his fears?
Plz, maybe your word of advice would help me comfort him or help him take the right decision. Its about my brothers life so be compassionate.
