I need advise

[108EEDMAH]

Dear brother and sisters
alhamdualla if u new me u would no im a good muslim (alahmdualla). I saly 5 times a day and fast. Im not perfect but my religion comes first. To start off i went through high school with no problems with girls. However, this summer at work i meet some girl that i liked a lot. we started talkin and the funny thing is that i didnt ask her out and neither did she. But the main point is that were goin out. Its been 2 months but it feels like i want to spend the rest of my life with her but shes not muslim. we talked about marriage and kids and she said that i can teach them islam but i cant force them if they dont want to. I was fine with that becz islam does not mean anything if its forced. So i was thinkin i would move away with her in the summer because right now im in university tryin to get into med school. I want to move becz my family is arab and my dad is very religious. Like everywhere he goes he talks about islam. So im scared that people r gonna talk behind his back when he talks about islam. His son married a non muslim. Also my friends dont like her but i dont care. I tryed to convert her but when she was small her parents forced her to be religious so now she hates religion.
So ya thats my story and now i dont now what to do
any advise

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2:
Dear son don`t rush, remember she will raise your children......... Do you think she will teach then how to love Allah swt and pray to while she don`t? We muslems should put our faith first since we know that we are in a journey to Allah swt.

 

[palestine]

brother it seems that she doens't like religion, so is she atheist? muslim men can only marry from practicing christians and jews. and she seems she's neither. can't u find a muslim woman whom u can really love. salam

 

[a_stranger]

More , don`t break the heart of your father....i don`t think that fathers deserve that .

 

[cmelbouzaidi]

:salam2: i would not rush into anything here. the kids would have to be raised as muslim and i am not sure the young lady understands this. i can understand she has an aversion to religion in general because it was forced down her throat growing up but it is time for her to seek the truth. Talk nicely to her and ask her to start reading Qur'an with an open heart and may ALLAH guide her to the true path. when you read The Truth, you cannot deny it. if it is meant for you two to end up married, then it will happen but I would keep my distance from the casual relationship setup that you have right now
Your sister in Islam,
catherine iman

 

[eemaan1]

:salam2:

what you should ask yourself is.....
WHAT IS YOUR GOAL IN LIFE?

if your ultimate goal is JANNAH then you should marry someone who will help you achieve this goal.

if not then there you have it, the dunya with all its glory.

 

[ahmed3711]

my brother i passed with some steps like you.i loved a girl for 2 years but she was not muslim and i was trying to let her revert to marry her and she wanted to marry me also.

i couldn't let her revert at that time.

thanks allah that i waked up because the mother is very important for raising her children.

if she is not religious or having another religion so she will not teach them islam.

for sorry i left her because i wanted allah more than my desires.

think in your children always it is important believe me do not think in what you need only.

i have friends their fathers are muslims and their mothers are from other religions believe me these friends don't know what to be till today...........

 

[shichemlydia]

sincere advice....

salam alikoum,
in fact marriage is not all about love, there are a lot of muslims who fell in this trap like you, and finally got divorced, because when you start living with her, things will change and the priorities become the first things to deal with. you can find a lovely muslima and you will live an islamic life full of happiness and joy, also children are a big responsibility, if they get out of the way, that is because of you and your wife....
i guess if you get married with her, you will face a lot of obstacles in life....
this is my point of view , and allah knows the best..
wa salam alikoum

 

[MashaAllah]

salam alikoum,
in fact marriage is not all about love, there are a lot of muslims who fell in this trap like you, and finally got divorced, because when you start living with her, things will change and the priorities become the first things to deal with. you can find a lovely muslima and you will live an islamic life full of happiness and joy, also children are a big responsibility, if they get out of the way, that is because of you and your wife....
i guess if you get married with her, you will face a lot of obstacles in life....
this is my point of view , and allah knows the best..
wa salam alikoum

i am agree with u.

 

[Libinette]

Assaalam aleikum,

As sister Palestine mentionned, brother, it is crucial that this lady is either christian or jew. However you said that she 'doesn't like religion' and we can only assume that this means she doesn't believe in any thing, in other words she denies a Creator. If you do marry her, you will transgress the bounderies. Think careful, don't jeopardize your deen for a lady. She won't be with you in the grave or stand with you in front of ALLAH.

Second thing i wanted to mention, is remember that the life of this world is a deception except what ALLAH has commended. Don't merely follow your desires, if you do so you will be lost.

I am sure you're a clever man and you will be able to weight things out inshallah.

 

[safiya58]

:salam2:,

dear brother u r in a difficult situation so do not rush. Start it off slow. If u love her then u should try to convert her but don´t do it for yourself think at her it is about her eternal future... Nobody in his senses would like it to imagine his loved ones in jehenem... so do not talk with her about rules, about haram and halal... concentrate on the Beauty of Allah... Allah is known by reasons and just a fool is not able to recognice there is a Creator by looking at the world.. if u don´t have much knowledge then adress her to someone who has knowledge and faith. Islam is incredibly beautiful but it is hard to gift-wrap this precious present in a fancy paper it deserves... the great islamic scholar Said Nursi, listed in one of his books all possible views about how the cosmos was created:

1) the cosmos is originated from reasons
2) it come into being by itself
3) it come into being by nature
4) there is a Creator who created everything

in his book he is analyzing all this possibilities and he proves by reasoning and with good examples that the first three ways are not possible! however I don´t want to make it too long. My point is, first she must believe in Allah after that u can tell her about Islam. When she agrees there is a Creator but she is refusing to obey Him than u shoult not marry her. But do not rush. Inshaallah Ckair. Wish u all the best.

 

[smartboy]

In The Name Of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

:salam2:
Allah has given the opportunity to you to get a high place in heaven.
I suggest you to continue your relation with that girl, at least you should give her some time to your relation. Marriage is for away and you are talking about children? Try to convert her to Islam but in a systematic process. Don't just say to her "Accept ISLAM"

What to do is to follow the steps.
1. Say to her that you are very important to me. The religion is a way of life. If these ways provide ease in our life then we should follow it and if it creates difficulties then don’t follow it, no meter which ever religion is, weather it is Islam or Christianity.

2. Do not say that you have to accept Islam. But try to show her the importance of religion. Ask her, for which purpose God has created us?

3. Show your interest in her religion. (Assuming she is Christian.)

4. Every religion has some good things which are common in almost every religion. Read her Bible and show that these things are common in Islam as well. I shall give you the references from bible. Even Muhammad (PBUH) is prophesied in Bible.
Once you come at point then think you have don your job. Because we can only open the truth. After that every thing is in the hand of Allah.

You should try the good, Allah will open the pathway.

 

[umm hussain]

:salam2:,

dear brother u r in a difficult situation so do not rush. Start it off slow. If u love her then u should try to convert her but don´t do it

:salam2:
Allah has given the opportunity to you to get a high place in heaven.
I suggest you to continue your relation with that girl, at least you should give her some time to your relation. Marriage is for away and you are talking about children? Try to convert her to Islam but in a systematic process. Don't just say to her "Accept ISLAM"

Walaikum salam warahmatullah

No one has the ability to guide except Allah. Whomsoever Allah guides non can misguide and whomsoever Allah misguides non can guide.

 

[Mixedup]

Dear Brother

All I can offer you is my opinion and I hope it helps.
I entered a relationship with a Muslim man 13yrs ago and have only just reverted to Islam. I felt I had to do it for me and not to please others.
How ever I respected my partner and his religious beliefs and understood prior to having children that they had to be raised as Muslims. If she truly wishes to be with you then she has to accept this fact as hard as that may sound.
My own insecurities/religious beliefs were mine and I felt it wrong to push them onto my son. He loves been Muslim and it was the best decision as a parent I ever made to embrace this fact.
2 months is a short time and family are always there no matter what
I would take my time
Inshallah whats meant to be will be
Good Luck

 

[safiya58]

Walaikum salam warahmatullah

No one has the ability to guide except Allah. Whomsoever Allah guides non can misguide and whomsoever Allah misguides non can guide.

:salam2:

sister u r right. but when there is someone I like then I would offer her to come to the straight pass. Ofcourse the decision is Allah´s. That´s why I wrotte TRY it. I did not say convert her! when there is a king and he sents a present to someone living in another country with his slave... now who deserves the praise the king or the slave? I think it is obvious... there are many people who converted because of the good example of muslims they know...

 

[IslamIsLight]

Dear brother and sisters
alhamdualla if u new me u would no im a good muslim (alahmdualla). I saly 5 times a day and fast. Im not perfect but my religion comes first. To start off i went through high school with no problems with girls. However, this summer at work i meet some girl that i liked a lot. we started talkin and the funny thing is that i didnt ask her out and neither did she. But the main point is that were goin out. Its been 2 months but it feels like i want to spend the rest of my life with her but shes not muslim. we talked about marriage and kids and she said that i can teach them islam but i cant force them if they dont want to. I was fine with that becz islam does not mean anything if its forced. So i was thinkin i would move away with her in the summer because right now im in university tryin to get into med school. I want to move becz my family is arab and my dad is very religious. Like everywhere he goes he talks about islam. So im scared that people r gonna talk behind his back when he talks about islam. His son married a non muslim. Also my friends dont like her but i dont care. I tryed to convert her but when she was small her parents forced her to be religious so now she hates religion.
So ya thats my story and now i dont now what to do
any advise

Salam aleikum
If you are going out with her then you have to know
there is no such a thing as dating in Islam ,its haram to have a girlfriend ,you have to marry her ,before you even talk about the rest...
It makes me mad that there are so many muslim men ,who pretend that they are good muslims and fast and pray ,but at same time they going out with women.
Allah is the one to judge you not me not anybodyelse...


waaleikum salam

 

[slaveofAllah88]

Salam brother
I understand your situation since ive been invovled into a similar situation ... I know its hard for people like ur gf to understand religion but wat i wud recommend is always keep in ur mind u love Allah (swt) and she is a creation of Allah (swt) ... and i now u really love her .. so try to show her how Islam influences ur life everyday ... and how its not something forced its a part of life and maybe she doesn't relize it but she is doing alot of islamic things like not lying ... being nice to other just show how beautiful Islam is .. and how great it feels when u say Allah from your heart.
If you want to talk we can talk cuz im in a really similar situation and im following my advice private msg me ur msn address and i wud love to talk to u
Aslam o Alaikum

 

[miq1]

Praise be to Allah (The Glorified and Exalted).

Marriage is a serious matter and the Muslim should not take it lightly, chasing after his desires. A Muslim man may marry a chaste (i.e. virgin) Christian or Jewish woman, but these sort of marriages are discouraged. A Muslim man may never marry a woman which has no religion. You are suffering from waswaas (demonic whispers), mixing lust with false ideas of love.

A Muslim may respect and love his spouse for being Muslim and one’s companion in life and to earn the Pleasure of Allah, but the extreme infatuation inspired by the shayateen, takes the form idolatry. In this case, individuals live for other members of the creation, thereby at times acting in defiance of the Shariah (Islamic Laws), which is the case with those who perform zina (fornication/adultery). Undoubtedly, this extreme infatuation and emotional attachment to another member of the creation, competes with the love for Allah (The Exalted). The Believer must remember the love Ibrahim (peace be upon him) displayed for Allah (The Exalted), for which he was willing to sacrifice his first-born son, Isma’il (peace be upon him).

Allah has created man in a world of trials and tests, and He has made Paradise the abode of His friends and beloved ones. Those who preferred His Pleasure over their own and preferred obedience to Him over their own physical comfort and desires. The Believer must realize that he must endure sacrifices in this life, “Allah hath purchased of the Believers their persons and their goods; for theirs (in return) is the Garden (of Paradise)…” [9:111]. In contrast, Allah has made Hell the abode of those among His slaves who disobey Him and preferred their own whims and desires to the pleasure of their Lord.

You may learn more about Islam at the following site: http://islamqa.com/en

The following thread may also help raise your Emaan (Faith): http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40837

 

[AleahKoto]

Someone who is not "with you" is technically against you. She can make all excuses she wants, but she is believing in something by saying nothing.

She may have all the outward appearances of what you want, but the inward is what counts. Since you would be willing to marry her if she were not a muslim, would you marry her if she got into wicca? or satanic ritual? aha, but she is still beautiful is she not?? With all the same you fell in love with. so why not marry her if she is in wicca or satanic....hmm sounds a little different now, huh?

Please think brother, the truth is, if she is neither Jewess, Christian or Muslim, you can't marry her and follow your belief.....you have no ground belief to work with. do not be unevenly yoked....beauty fades.

 

[smartboy]

In The Name Of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

Walaikum salam warahmatullah

No one has the ability to guide except Allah. Whomsoever Allah guides non can misguide and whomsoever Allah misguides non can guide.

You are right no one has the ability to guide except Allah. But Muhammad :saw2: did dawa. He called people to Islam and today Islam is fastest growing religion in the world.
If Allah wants, HE can make any one muslim but if Allah does so then where is the test??? This life in a test for next life.
Allah says that there should be a group amongst you who call the people to richness and prevent them from evil.
The brother should try to convince her to Islam. It is REAL JIHAD.
but is that brother is still in this forum???