salam 'alaikum warahamtu-llah
why you want to be a Muslim?
make it clear first, be honest to yourself.
remind it, Allah guides whom He wills and Allah guides who wants to be guided.
as you are new, there are a lot things that can't be applied to you at this moment, but you got to know.
why we need religion? at this moment only 1.2 billion ppl are Muslims, only, but the world is going on "smoothly" the world is right now at a state of "peace", so why we need God and religion.
glory to be Allah.
see sister, it is Fitra(human nature) to believe in a supreme being.
however, let me tell u something:
the greek word: Theos means God and we all know logos means the science or study.
so here comes: theology - study of God
Theist: who believes in God
when it comes with A+theist= Atheist : who doesn't believe in God
Monotheism: believing in Uniqueness of God, Islam
Polytheism: believing in many Gods
Pantheism: believing in everything is God
okay now, there must be believers first, to call or denote someone Dis-believers.
there must be theos (God)/theist(believer in God) first to someone to be A-theist (disbeliever in God)
however, if there is no God, then there is no set rules, no reward no punishment, then what is the point of someone to help someone or to harm someone?
for the sake of Humanity? (one can answer)
who sets the scale of Humanity?
a human?
the another Human can think the different way.
subhan Allah
example:
suppose, one guy, a very good guy good to everyone, everything he does good, he helps poor, who takes care of old and orphans, he gives a lot money to charity.
another guy, he is a criminal, he kills people for money, he doesn't respect anyone, he does everything bad and bad. And this second guy anyhow kills the first one and he dies a severe death, severe injury, the first guy being very generous, no one knows he was a good guy, but any how his name was involved in some bad works, and people start cursing him.
Other way, the bad guy, anyhow, being the owner of black money, people starts to ‘respect’ him and he dies a normal death and ‘respectful’ funeral.
So the question is: where they going to be judge?
Some people may claim, there is no God, it is all science and nature.
So cruel nature, who can’t even judge a simple case, and people have made it their God, la hawla wala quwwata illa bi-llah
Human being is the finest creation, subhan Allah, without any doubt. But why nature loves people, that the nature made human so perfect? And while we do harm nature? People may claim, thus nature becomes intolerable sometimes and harm people. Earthquake, flood, cyclone.
Subhan Allah, is there no bad people in the region of gulf? Earthquake flood cyclone never happens there. These are the natural calamities which happens with the will of Allah.
Sister, I’m not so knowledgeable, and not so good in writing, I can’t make it precise.
There are a lot lot things, it is not always easy to explain through writing, seek help from knowledgeable one.
Try: ‘no brainer’ lecture of sheikh yusuf estes
And there is no right for me to say, but I must say: there is no girl-friend, boy friend concept in Islam
If you really want to revert, do it for the sake of Allah and only for the sake of Him
This is the real taste of Islam, the uniqueness of Allah, testifying His uniqueness in His Being, His names and His attributes.
May Allah help you, may Allah expand your understanding, may He remove the obstacles between Him and you.
First, make it clear, the Oneness of Allah, insha Allah everything will be fine.
A lot people revert before getting the clear concept of tawheed(Oneness of Allah), and they either get back or pick a wrong way.
Remember, Allah guides whom He wills and He guides who wants to be guided, who strives for the truth.
Allahu a’lam. If I’ve said anything wrong, may he forgive me
Take time
Salam ‘alaikum