:salam2:
Sobhanallah sister..I think you're just being hard on yourself..
First of all did you know that there are *types* of *Sunnah???*...there's:
Sunnah Qawliyya (Verbal Sunnah)..a
Sunnah Fe'eliyya (Practical Sunnah)..a
Sunnah Taqreeriyya (Agreeable Sunnah)..a
Sunnah Khalqiyya (Physical Sunnah..and this one is unique and specific *only* to Rasulullah)..and a
Sunnah Jibbiliyyah (Cultural/Generational Sunnah..this is one is specific to the background..and generation of Rasulullah)..
And each one of these varies in its nature..in that some are more obligatory than others..and some are more unique to a certain situation than others..and so on...
THEN...
You see these *5 types* above???..well THEY...divide into
FURTHER divisions..nd that's when you have:
Sunnan (plural of Sunnah)
Wajiba..
Sunnan Mobaha..and
Sunnan Mostahabba.
THEN..
If you take
Al-Sunnan Mostahabba for instance...you have
YET MORE DIVISIONS..you have:
Sunnan Aakida..
Sunnan Ratiba..and
Sunnan 'Aaddiyya..
What's my point with all of this???
You need to first and foremost know that if Allah said:
"Allah does not burden beyond its scope"...then *surely* Rasulullah would
NOT overturn this matter..or commit things which counter it baraka Allaho feeki..because afterall he was sent as a mercy for us..and he (bi abi howa wa ommi) did not say a thing or do a thing unless it was for
*our* benefit..our way of showing our appreciation to him ('alayhi assalat wasslam) is for us to *at least*
emulate him in the manners and behaviors he avoided or practiced!
Secondly..you need to know that matters of the sunnah are not *always* concrete..in some acts of the Sunnah we have a *choice* whether or not we can do them..if we do them we earn more ajer (
think: *extra credit*)..if we don't..then we're not held accountable bi ithni Allah..and some acts of the sunnah have several ways of doing them!..and you may do one way from amongst these manners or try all of them out..up to you!!!
Thirdly..hadaki Allah..you mentioned the instance of ghusl..rahimaki Allah..the manner in which Rasulullah made ghusl is the Sunnah way of doing it..
that's manner through which you may earn your *extra credit* for emulating Rasulullah...if you jump into the shower..grab a body wash and scrub your body...then alhamdulillah..you fulfilled what's obligatory..you washed off the impurity..and completed ghusl..so long you wash your body with water from head to toe..you are good in the aspect of ghusl rahimaki Allah...if you do ghusl according to Rasulullah's way..then mashallah tabaraka Allah..that's a blessing from Allah..because He enabled you to do something which His prophet did and that's the best of things to accomplish
Don't make the deen hard for yourself ukhti..it's really way simpler than what we make it seem even to ourselves..and if we do a thing out of ignorance..then Allah is All-Merciful..All-Forgiving..and to Him is all thanks for His Forgiveness..you simply need to learn the correct thing to do..commit to it..and life goes on ya ukhti...
Anyhow..
Since you specifically brought up ghusl..I'd like you to read this link:
http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/83172/الغسل
And I hope that you pay close attention to the words I wrote and realize what I mean..
and if you get ideas of this sort:
Then follow what Allah says baraka Allaho feeki:
"And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaitan (Satan), then seek refuge with Allah." [Al-'Aa'araaf:200]
Wallahu adra wa a'alam..