True_Sultan
A logical believer
Salam to my brothers and Sisters,
Is it wrong to write down sad stories about myself? Anyway if not here it goes.
I recently got back some of my exam marks...So i only get an A while the people that cheats or the people i had tutored got an A+ (100 percent). I feel so under-acomplished. I could do every single question during the study period. For some reason whenever a test or exam comes up, I usually mess something up, like circling the wrong answer even though I know what the right answer is by accident. And you remember sister "X" right? Well X got a 100% in calc while i messed up...idk how... =/ When ever i try hard i fail...Also recently when ever i think about the beyond or about my aspiration, i keep on thinking about the outcomes in the movie "Event Horizon" and it makes me mad...and kinda creeped out. Thanks to Sister Aapa who told me to watch the movie. I don't know my aspiration is slowly loosing its hold. While I was at University, I made dua, but could never do Salah, i feel bad...maybe thats why Im unsatisfied? I don't know brothers and sisters what to do. If I loose my mysterious enigma and my aspiration, I won't be special or gifted...Sure i am smart, but how can I show it, if I'm always committing stupid mistakes even if I studied the whole day....for 2 weeks. I have no gifts in like playing music or sports either...I don't wanna be un-special...Also sister "X" had texted (or SMS) me that I should go back to Ottawa because she misses me...:S Now that confuses me (this was her reply after I sent her and all my friends a christmas greeting, even though me nor some of my friends or in fact her celebrate it), even though she said she wants to be just brothers and sisters. Now i don't wanna make a mistake. What should I do about this?
Finally what should I do about feeling un-special and making stupid mistakes? I wanna be the best I can be, my family isn't in a great condition and I thought me graduating and getting a job with lots of money may help them, I wanna help them first before going into my goals...but I don't know if my goals exist no more....argghh...I'm a disaster...:shymuslima1:
P.S. Thanks for your dua's for before, they did help me by not making so much mistakes..
Is it wrong to write down sad stories about myself? Anyway if not here it goes.
I recently got back some of my exam marks...So i only get an A while the people that cheats or the people i had tutored got an A+ (100 percent). I feel so under-acomplished. I could do every single question during the study period. For some reason whenever a test or exam comes up, I usually mess something up, like circling the wrong answer even though I know what the right answer is by accident. And you remember sister "X" right? Well X got a 100% in calc while i messed up...idk how... =/ When ever i try hard i fail...Also recently when ever i think about the beyond or about my aspiration, i keep on thinking about the outcomes in the movie "Event Horizon" and it makes me mad...and kinda creeped out. Thanks to Sister Aapa who told me to watch the movie. I don't know my aspiration is slowly loosing its hold. While I was at University, I made dua, but could never do Salah, i feel bad...maybe thats why Im unsatisfied? I don't know brothers and sisters what to do. If I loose my mysterious enigma and my aspiration, I won't be special or gifted...Sure i am smart, but how can I show it, if I'm always committing stupid mistakes even if I studied the whole day....for 2 weeks. I have no gifts in like playing music or sports either...I don't wanna be un-special...Also sister "X" had texted (or SMS) me that I should go back to Ottawa because she misses me...:S Now that confuses me (this was her reply after I sent her and all my friends a christmas greeting, even though me nor some of my friends or in fact her celebrate it), even though she said she wants to be just brothers and sisters. Now i don't wanna make a mistake. What should I do about this?
Finally what should I do about feeling un-special and making stupid mistakes? I wanna be the best I can be, my family isn't in a great condition and I thought me graduating and getting a job with lots of money may help them, I wanna help them first before going into my goals...but I don't know if my goals exist no more....argghh...I'm a disaster...:shymuslima1:
P.S. Thanks for your dua's for before, they did help me by not making so much mistakes..