Asalamu aleykum guys
I'm in my early 20s n in my last year university. I feel absolutely Messed up.
I'm suicidal, I'm not praying, I can't wake up for uni, work or anything. I sleep n wen I'm not sleeping I'm not doin anything productive. I don't kno why I'm such a bad muslim. I had a good upbringing. I never learnt to pray salah regularly n never bin able to establish this. I'm too lazy n if I pray maghrib one day dhur n isha the next. Hardly ever all the 5 prayers.
I've bin good a few times where I seek knowedge n learn ducas n quran but I always fall back. I hate myself for this n it discusts me. But nothing in life motivates me atm. Jus had a massive row with my mum abt coming home late. She said I act like a *removed*. Made me feel *removed* up. I feel guilty n promised I won't do it again. I feel unclean n do ask for forgiveness and help in establishing my religion when I happen to pray. I just wana be good but I feel *removed* and jus wana die sometimes. Don't wana end up in hell but if this is what I have to look forward to. Ahh plz help I really need support.
Don't judge me I know I am bad but I try be good I feel like a hypocrit. I don't know anyone I can talk to who will guide me to the right way none of my friends r religos n will tell me to go out with them n party or do drugs. Thanx n sorry for the essay
I'm in my early 20s n in my last year university. I feel absolutely Messed up.
I'm suicidal, I'm not praying, I can't wake up for uni, work or anything. I sleep n wen I'm not sleeping I'm not doin anything productive. I don't kno why I'm such a bad muslim. I had a good upbringing. I never learnt to pray salah regularly n never bin able to establish this. I'm too lazy n if I pray maghrib one day dhur n isha the next. Hardly ever all the 5 prayers.
I've bin good a few times where I seek knowedge n learn ducas n quran but I always fall back. I hate myself for this n it discusts me. But nothing in life motivates me atm. Jus had a massive row with my mum abt coming home late. She said I act like a *removed*. Made me feel *removed* up. I feel guilty n promised I won't do it again. I feel unclean n do ask for forgiveness and help in establishing my religion when I happen to pray. I just wana be good but I feel *removed* and jus wana die sometimes. Don't wana end up in hell but if this is what I have to look forward to. Ahh plz help I really need support.
Don't judge me I know I am bad but I try be good I feel like a hypocrit. I don't know anyone I can talk to who will guide me to the right way none of my friends r religos n will tell me to go out with them n party or do drugs. Thanx n sorry for the essay