Aisya al-Humaira
الحمدلله على كل حال
Assalamua`alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,
I hope all the brothers and sisters on the board are in the best of health and doing well, inshaa Allaahu Ta`ala.
I don't usually write what's been going on in my life here but I guess what has just happened really made me realized how things can be so unbelievable sometimes.
A few days ago, my mom called me asking me to come home because she said someone would like to meet me. I keep on asking who it is, what it is about but she didn't answer my question; only said its someone. I asked because I still have lots of things to do at my campus, my undergrad research still not finished etc etc. But I fulfilled her wish and came home.
Today, we went to the masjid. I have always felt uncomfortable on whats going to happen since my mom is being all mysterious about it. And then comes this Ustadh. He asked me to sit on the prayer mat beside him, while my family members (my mom, my sister and my dad) made a circle around us. There's another ustadh too, sorta like his assistance/friend beside him. Then he started asking me about my problems. I answered with sharing about me being in final year and its a bit stress. Then he asked me again what is really my problem since he said he knew thats not my main problem.
So I just went straight to the point. I told him about my intention getting married but the matter is still not settled yet. And its somehow is making me stress.
Flashback a bit to explain about the marriage issue.
From the beginning until right now, my mother has not given her blessings on me wanting to marry my would-be. Even after my dad has given his green light. Just that my dad told me to finish with my studies first and then only get married. The obvious and main reason my mom wouldn't let me marry him is because he is from another country. A neighbouring country. So, apart from taking me having counselling with an Ustadh earlier in Ramadhan, this is the second attempt of her making me to obey her.
But what hurts me the most was that today, the Ustadh said I'm being possessed by a jinn. A jinn sent by him. Which I don't believe I am because of:
1) Of all the symptoms that he told me, like having bad dreams meeting with a child, a stranger suddenly approach me, having headaches etc, I only can relate with the symptoms such as headache (which I have since high school and usually when I'm stress) and bad dreams that I don't remember what its about (I'm sure everyone of us has experiences bad dreams in their life).
2) When he was treating me (doing ruqyah on me though I have some issues with it such as him touching my face, banging on my head while reciting some ayaats), I did not feel heat or anything. Whereas if someone is being possessed, when ayaat of the Qur`an are being recited, his/her toe is pulled hardly, they'll usually scream. But I did not feel anything and I even recited 3 qul, ayaatul Kursi and La hawla walla during the treatment.
3) Before he did that treatment on me, what he was lecturing to me i.e: me being disobedient for not listening to my parents because I'm so crazy about that guy, about me being stubborn, that the jinn is making me don't want to eat etc etc. All that time when I hear things that I really feel is not about me but as if he's making me look bad, I was only able to istighfar in my heart. How I was painted as really a bad person who sees nothing else but wanting to get married. Also when he told about the hadeeth that it's better to marry someone from the same place, I questioned like "a hadeeth?" (cos I never heard of it) and then he snapped at me and said, don't question me because this is my field, I know better than you are. And sometimes I try interrupting his talk cos some of it were not true but he just kept talking. So I guess that's why in the end he said how I am such a stubborn person.
The Ustadh told my family to prepare my water bath with some herbs, lemon every evening at 6.30 pm (some time before Maghrib) for 7 days continuously in able to take out the jinn completely. When I asked him is the jinn inside me strong, he said it is. He felt so much heat inside (heat as in from myself - the anger, the evil part) even though I was peaceful when he treated me. He even said that if I read the Qur`an for a long time, I will feel heat in my body. Which I don't even after I was reading the Qur`an from after `Asr prayer until the time for my bath today.
Seriously all those who have known me, even virtually here, do you really think I am that crazy just so that I can get married and that I'm being possessed?
I called some of my closest friends who I know in real life asking if they believe I'm being possessed. None of them does. They even suggested that I go to another place that practice the sunnah ruqyah by a sunnah ustadh to determine whether I'm really being posses or not because if I'm not, this will automatically clear the name of my would-be.
The title of this thread was because I really can't believe what my family did to me. My mother for thinking her daughter being possessed, my sister who helped my mom on this matter and my dad for letting this to happen. For letting my mom doing this to me.
If some of you are asking why I want to do the nikaah quickly and not prolong the engagement:
1) To avoid ma'siyat of the heart. To preserve my heart and his heart.
2) Prolonging the engagement is not really encourageable, as we all know.
3) Because I have always been ready to get married. Unlike some of my friends who are still not.
I shall end this post now and I thank everyone for reading this long post and as always, I ask for nothing but for all of you to keep me in my prayers.
Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh.
I hope all the brothers and sisters on the board are in the best of health and doing well, inshaa Allaahu Ta`ala.
I don't usually write what's been going on in my life here but I guess what has just happened really made me realized how things can be so unbelievable sometimes.
A few days ago, my mom called me asking me to come home because she said someone would like to meet me. I keep on asking who it is, what it is about but she didn't answer my question; only said its someone. I asked because I still have lots of things to do at my campus, my undergrad research still not finished etc etc. But I fulfilled her wish and came home.
Today, we went to the masjid. I have always felt uncomfortable on whats going to happen since my mom is being all mysterious about it. And then comes this Ustadh. He asked me to sit on the prayer mat beside him, while my family members (my mom, my sister and my dad) made a circle around us. There's another ustadh too, sorta like his assistance/friend beside him. Then he started asking me about my problems. I answered with sharing about me being in final year and its a bit stress. Then he asked me again what is really my problem since he said he knew thats not my main problem.
So I just went straight to the point. I told him about my intention getting married but the matter is still not settled yet. And its somehow is making me stress.
Flashback a bit to explain about the marriage issue.
From the beginning until right now, my mother has not given her blessings on me wanting to marry my would-be. Even after my dad has given his green light. Just that my dad told me to finish with my studies first and then only get married. The obvious and main reason my mom wouldn't let me marry him is because he is from another country. A neighbouring country. So, apart from taking me having counselling with an Ustadh earlier in Ramadhan, this is the second attempt of her making me to obey her.
But what hurts me the most was that today, the Ustadh said I'm being possessed by a jinn. A jinn sent by him. Which I don't believe I am because of:
1) Of all the symptoms that he told me, like having bad dreams meeting with a child, a stranger suddenly approach me, having headaches etc, I only can relate with the symptoms such as headache (which I have since high school and usually when I'm stress) and bad dreams that I don't remember what its about (I'm sure everyone of us has experiences bad dreams in their life).
2) When he was treating me (doing ruqyah on me though I have some issues with it such as him touching my face, banging on my head while reciting some ayaats), I did not feel heat or anything. Whereas if someone is being possessed, when ayaat of the Qur`an are being recited, his/her toe is pulled hardly, they'll usually scream. But I did not feel anything and I even recited 3 qul, ayaatul Kursi and La hawla walla during the treatment.
3) Before he did that treatment on me, what he was lecturing to me i.e: me being disobedient for not listening to my parents because I'm so crazy about that guy, about me being stubborn, that the jinn is making me don't want to eat etc etc. All that time when I hear things that I really feel is not about me but as if he's making me look bad, I was only able to istighfar in my heart. How I was painted as really a bad person who sees nothing else but wanting to get married. Also when he told about the hadeeth that it's better to marry someone from the same place, I questioned like "a hadeeth?" (cos I never heard of it) and then he snapped at me and said, don't question me because this is my field, I know better than you are. And sometimes I try interrupting his talk cos some of it were not true but he just kept talking. So I guess that's why in the end he said how I am such a stubborn person.
The Ustadh told my family to prepare my water bath with some herbs, lemon every evening at 6.30 pm (some time before Maghrib) for 7 days continuously in able to take out the jinn completely. When I asked him is the jinn inside me strong, he said it is. He felt so much heat inside (heat as in from myself - the anger, the evil part) even though I was peaceful when he treated me. He even said that if I read the Qur`an for a long time, I will feel heat in my body. Which I don't even after I was reading the Qur`an from after `Asr prayer until the time for my bath today.
Seriously all those who have known me, even virtually here, do you really think I am that crazy just so that I can get married and that I'm being possessed?
I called some of my closest friends who I know in real life asking if they believe I'm being possessed. None of them does. They even suggested that I go to another place that practice the sunnah ruqyah by a sunnah ustadh to determine whether I'm really being posses or not because if I'm not, this will automatically clear the name of my would-be.
The title of this thread was because I really can't believe what my family did to me. My mother for thinking her daughter being possessed, my sister who helped my mom on this matter and my dad for letting this to happen. For letting my mom doing this to me.
If some of you are asking why I want to do the nikaah quickly and not prolong the engagement:
1) To avoid ma'siyat of the heart. To preserve my heart and his heart.
2) Prolonging the engagement is not really encourageable, as we all know.
3) Because I have always been ready to get married. Unlike some of my friends who are still not.
I shall end this post now and I thank everyone for reading this long post and as always, I ask for nothing but for all of you to keep me in my prayers.
Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh.