Asalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh sister Precious Star, Hope you are in the best of health and sound Emman. May Allah make things easier for you. Allah swa test those whom he loves, And be patient in'sha'Allah, Allah swa hears and sees your call, tears, and worry. One of my favorite salaf said: It is reported on the authority of Ibrâhîm b. Al-Ash’ath that he said, “I asked Al-Fudayl b. ‘Ayyâd – Allâh have mercy on him – about patience (al-sabr) in the face of adversity and he said, ‘It is to not broadcast it.’ I asked him about asceticism (al-zuhd) and he said, ‘Al-zuhd is to be content with what you have, and that is what it means to be rich.’ I asked him about prudence (al-wara’) and he said, ‘It is to stay away from what is forbidden.’ And I asked him about humbleness (al-tawâdu’) and he said, ‘It is when you submit to the truth and comply no matter who you hear it from; even if it was from the most ignorant of people, you would be required to accept it from him.’”
Ibn ‘Abd Al-Barr, Jâmi’ Bayân Al-‘Ilm wa Fadlihi Vol. 1 p498.
Have patience Indeed patience is beautiful.
I was also concerned about when you said nothing is going well for me, Know that Allah swa said in sura Zumar, Do not despair from the mercy of Allah.
The Qur'an the whole thing is for you not just rondemly opening it and saying this part is for me.
Ma'salama, Wabillahi towfiq.