Self-control...

[palestine]

asalamu alaykum wrwb. dear brothers and sisters i believe that self control is really important in our daily lives because so often we face difficulties or hardships and we need to know how to deal with it. why am i discussing the issue of sefl-control? because i had done so much wrong today to another muslim. There was this non muslim girl who had mocked us so many times based on our religion and our culture. i was mad and angry at her that i had decided i would beat her up( not a good choice), so me and some others stood in front of her to beat her(not severely). now it's not just a simple thing she said. she mocked Allah and his prophet. anyways when i hit her once this muslim boy stood in front of me telling to stop. however i let out my anger at him, telling him that he was favoring sides and that he didn't care about who mocked Allah and who didn't. i came home, i got over my anger and i regretted what i had said to him (trust me, it was alot of bad words rolling out). i searched for where he lived and found him. i apologized and he accepted and told me that he didn't want me to get into trouble and that's why he had done what he did. well now i'm basically embarrassed and regret every word i had said to him. and if i could take it all back i would. my point is, regretting and being remorseful won't help when you've already hurt the person. we should think about what we are saying before we do so. I know that inshaAllah the next time something happens i will have more control because i've learned my lesson. and trust me i'm not done apologizing to the boy. i will apologize probably for the rest of the year until i can no longer see him in school. lol. that is why the prophet s.a.w told us to guard our tongues and our private parts.

Narrated Ammar: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: He who is two-faced in this world will have two tongues of fire on the Day of Resurrection. (Book #41, Hadith #4855)


Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr: The Prophet said, "A Muslim is the one who avoids harming Muslims with his tongue and hands. And a Muhajir (emigrant) is the one who gives up (abandons) all what Allah has forbidden." (Book #2, Hadith #9)

Narrated Abu Musa: Some people asked Allah's Apostle, "Whose Islam is the best? i.e. (Who is a very good Muslim)?" He replied, "One who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongue and hands." (Book #2, Hadith #10)

Oh Muslims, i made a major mistake by harming a brother who only wished the best for me. so do not make the same mistakes i made. from this day forward i promise myself and Allah not to harm a muslim with my tongue or hands. and not to harm anyone with my tongue or body except in self defense. Asalamu alaykum wrwb and enjoy the following video.
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[palestine]

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[palestine]

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[epilogue]

I think it is important not only to feel remorse and apologize to the young brother, but more importantly to apologize to the non-muslim girl who you beat up. Yes, she insulted Islam. But physically attacking a person in response only validates their antagonism of our faith. By apologizing and rising above these actions, you show her the true light of Islam-- not a light she may recognize now, as she clearly shows no taste for Islam, but one that she may come to remember down the road.

 

[palestine]

I think it is important not only to feel remorse and apologize to the young brother, but more importantly to apologize to the non-muslim girl who you beat up. Yes, she insulted Islam. But physically attacking a person in response only validates their antagonism of our faith. By apologizing and rising above these actions, you show her the true light of Islam-- not a light she may recognize now, as she clearly shows no taste for Islam, but one that she may come to remember down the road.

JazakaAllahu khayran ukhti. but i cannot apologize to her. reason being that i've warned her more than 5 times to stop mocking us and to ask any questions she had. but she chose not to and instead mocked us. this is the third year she has done this in my presence. and everytime she's around her friends she does this. and when her friends are not she acts innocent. sister i cannot bring myself to apologize to someone who hates my prophet, but most importantly my Lord. and not only hates them but mocks them and says it to our face. your advice is well put and very nice but i can't, I CAN'T bring myself to apologize to her. i can apologize about anything else but not when it comes to my Prophet and my Lord. not only does she not have taste for islam. but she continiously picks on islam and mocks it. she disrespects it and gives difficulty to those who are muslim. how is it that i can apologize to someone who makes life hard for my brothers and sisters. Let me put it this way ukhti, she's closed minded, closed harded and full of hatred. you cannot imagine the things she has done. putting goey stuff on people's lockers. muslms' lockers. laughing and giggling and staring and name calling them. she should apologize. and hey down the road if she doesn't become muslim, then to her is her own choice. Islam is not in need of her. she is in need of islam. asalamu alaykum wrwb.

 

[autumn]

the Priphet pbuh said that the strongest person is the one who can control his anger. And truly its hard to control anger.

 

[epilogue]

I understand sister, in this case I would keep your distance from her rather than engaging in dialogue and apologizing. I would, however, remember that violence and anger are not the best response to these actions (let us remember our beloved Prophet and his reaction to the persecution he faced). You show strong iman in recognizing that your reaction was made in the heat of the moment though, may Allah swt keep you on this righteous path.

 

[*FatimaFilsan*]

:salam2:
:ma: sister Palestine i am so proud of you, you are such a strong sister and it is amazing how much love you have for Islam. We need more Muslims like you.
Alhamdulilah you learned a lesson from that experience and thanks for advising us to not make the same mistake you made. You are right we should always control ourselves.
I appreciate your advice a lot and it is something I and the rest of us need to work on.
And since you are my Muslim sister i would like to give you an advice. Please don't beat up anyone, I know that girl must have been annoying and provocative but you shouldn't allow her to make you a violent person. She probably is graving for attention and the more you respond to her the more she will want to get you pissed. Silence is the best way to deal with people like her.Just give this a try. Don't think that I am trying to pick on you, i know how you feel. Sometimes i too feel like hitting someone when they try to make smart comments about us Muslims but i know that this is not the answer. Rather it will create more problems. The only time you should use violence is when someone violently attacks you.Besides this, you should always try to control yourself. If an ignorant person tries to say something rude to you, correct them with wise words, or else just walk away.
I know you can do this, since you have done much greater things than this. Insha Allah continue the good things you are doing and May Allah reward you for them. Ameen.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,


Little sister!!! We have to decide what is a minor battle and what is a major battle. Save your energy for the fights that are worth your time. Ignore the fools..and there are plenty of them. Each time someone ridicules me..I see it as a blessing. The poison that they spew I turn into a favor from Allah subahana talla.
These fools enjoy getting a reaction. They want to distrub our peace. Ignore the fools.
You are so precious..remember they can not invade the light of Love that is beaming from you. Hold on to that light at all times.

 

[cmelbouzaidi]

:salam2: beautiful words of wisdom from sister mirajmom, :ma:

dear sister palestine, i hope one day you will be telling your family on tti that the very person who ridiculed islam and muslims for so long ends up repenting and turning to Allah herself. Allah alone knows the seen and the unseen.

thank you sister for being so candid with your experience and advice to the young sisters and brothers out there. i think you have already turned what could have ended up being a very negative situation into one with great hope for the future. may Allah reward you for your faith and sincerity. ameen.

 

[palestine]

I understand sister, in this case I would keep your distance from her rather than engaging in dialogue and apologizing. I would, however, remember that violence and anger are not the best response to these actions (let us remember our beloved Prophet and his reaction to the persecution he faced). You show strong iman in recognizing that your reaction was made in the heat of the moment though, may Allah swt keep you on this righteous path.

ukhti today i thought about what you said last night. and i planned on apologizing to her when i see her. but as soon as i saw her she was mocking and laughing at me. and continued where she left off with her friends. :salam2:

 

[palestine]

:salam2:
:ma: sister Palestine i am so proud of you, you are such a strong sister and it is amazing how much love you have for Islam. We need more Muslims like you.
Alhamdulilah you learned a lesson from that experience and thanks for advising us to not make the same mistake you made. You are right we should always control ourselves.
I appreciate your advice a lot and it is something I and the rest of us need to work on.
And since you are my Muslim sister i would like to give you an advice. Please don't beat up anyone, I know that girl must have been annoying and provocative but you shouldn't allow her to make you a violent person. She probably is graving for attention and the more you respond to her the more she will want to get you pissed. Silence is the best way to deal with people like her.Just give this a try. Don't think that I am trying to pick on you, i know how you feel. Sometimes i too feel like hitting someone when they try to make smart comments about us Muslims but i know that this is not the answer. Rather it will create more problems. The only time you should use violence is when someone violently attacks you.Besides this, you should always try to control yourself. If an ignorant person tries to say something rude to you, correct them with wise words, or else just walk away.
I know you can do this, since you have done much greater things than this. Insha Allah continue the good things you are doing and May Allah reward you for them. Ameen.

ukhti you're not picking on me. i am able to control myself in other things. but in deen i can't. i mean if the deen is mocked i react too quickly. my blood boils as if i'm gonna explode. but i do have one question: aren't we supposed to defend the prophet and Allah? my real question is: how can i defend both without hurting anyone? and am i sinning if i don't defend our Prophet s.a.w and Allah? because this girl and her friends said that they would kick Allah. you see where i'm getting at.

 

[*FatimaFilsan*]

ukhti you're not picking on me. i am able to control myself in other things. but in deen i can't. i mean if the deen is mocked i react too quickly. my blood boils as if i'm gonna explode. but i do have one question: aren't we supposed to defend the prophet and Allah? my real question is: how can i defend both without hurting anyone? and am i sinning if i don't defend our Prophet s.a.w and Allah? because this girl and her friends said that they would kick Allah. you see where i'm getting at.

:salam2:
Sister you need to know that this girls can do nothing to Allah or his Prophet. Allah is the Most high and the Most Great and they are just worthless creatures who are not even worth a thing in the sight of Allah. Lets hope that they become Muslim before their time in this world ends or else if they continue in this way... we know what will be the end of those who disbelieve in Allah and mock his Prophet.
Now, you are confronted with a situation and you asked what can you do. Think about it Palestine and i know you are a smart girl, what happens to people who fight in school? Do you think this girl will stop her abuse and name calling just because you hit her? Do you know that you could get suspended or even expelled for attacking her it is school policy. And you know what this girl will win, she will say that she has the right to speak freely. She will take out the freedom of speech card and like always nothing will be done with people like her. And worst of all, you could go to jail for violently assaulting a person, i know you don't want to go prison and spend your life with low lives when you deserve better.
We live in different times and worst of all we live in kuffar country. You will find people who will disrespect our religion and our beloved Prophet. Now is the time for us to use wisdom and our minds. Some times what works for some people won't work for others. Which means you will have to see what is the best solution for you. I belief the best thing for you to do at this time is just ignore her and her friends. This people are dying for attention and when you emotionally react to what they say you are making them feel good and guess what they will continue it. And Sister Palestine don't bring harm to yourself, teens nowadays are crazy and unstable. If you continue fighting her she can get her friends or her angry parents or brothers and sisters involved. None of us want anything bad to happen to you.
I think you get the idea what i am trying to explain to you. And lastly don't forget to make dua to Allah. Ask Allah to help you and make things easy for you. And to stop this people from insulting Him and RasulAllah(peace be upon him) so that you can have peace of mind.
I hope i explained myself and if you have more questions ask them insha Allah.

 

[palestine]

:salam2:
Sister you need to know that this girls can do nothing to Allah or his Prophet. Allah is the Most high and the Most Great and they are just worthless creatures who are not even worth a thing in the sight of Allah. Lets hope that they become Muslim before their time in this world ends or else if they continue in this way... we know what will be the end of those who disbelieve in Allah and mock his Prophet.
Now, you are confronted with a situation and you asked what can you do. Think about it Palestine and i know you are a smart girl, what happens to people who fight in school? Do you think this girl will stop her abuse and name calling just because you hit her? Do you know that you could get suspended or even expelled for attacking her it is school policy. And you know what this girl will win, she will say that she has the right to speak freely. She will take out the freedom of speech card and like always nothing will be done with people like her. And worst of all, you could go to jail for violently assaulting a person, i know you don't want to go prison and spend your life with low lives when you deserve better.
We live in different times and worst of all we live in kuffar country. You will find people who will disrespect our religion and our beloved Prophet. Now is the time for us to use wisdom and our minds. Some times what works for some people won't work for others. Which means you will have to see what is the best solution for you. I belief the best thing for you to do at this time is just ignore her and her friends. This people are dying for attention and when you emotionally react to what they say you are making them feel good and guess what they will continue it. And Sister Palestine don't bring harm to yourself, teens nowadays are crazy and unstable. If you continue fighting her she can get her friends or her angry parents or brothers and sisters involved. None of us want anything bad to happen to you.
I think you get the idea what i am trying to explain to you. And lastly don't forget to make dua to Allah. Ask Allah to help you and make things easy for you. And to stop this people from insulting Him and RasulAllah(peace be upon him) so that you can have peace of mind.
I hope i explained myself and if you have more questions ask them insha Allah.

I know these people can't hurt Allah or his Prophet but as Muslims we are supposed to defend them. i guess it's a test of iman as you might want to say it. however my concern is how should i defend them without hurting anyone. because if i ignore someone who is Mocking my Prophet and my Lord and i walk away i will regret for the rest of my life. and i will feel like a hypocrite. by the way i was called down to the principals office and she's actually in deep trouble since they have the record of what her and her friends had done before. and i know as muslims we mustn't lie but we denied hitting her and so she is in trouble for having made a racial comment. should i defend Allah and his Prophet by making simple statements towards the enemy that may, make them think twice about what they said. i want to set a good example for the non muslims and muslims alike. i love peace and justice but i don't want to be violent and i don't want to be the one who doesn't practice what she preaches. Allah does not like those who tell others to do what they themselves don't do. and i don't want to be one of those whom Allah despises. but i cannot walk away without defending my faith becuase as a Muslim this is required. what can i do is the question?:salam2: and JazakaAllahu khayran for your previous reply, it helped alot.

 

[*FatimaFilsan*]

I know these people can't hurt Allah or his Prophet but as Muslims we are supposed to defend them. i guess it's a test of iman as you might want to say it. however my concern is how should i defend them without hurting anyone. because if i ignore someone who is Mocking my Prophet and my Lord and i walk away i will regret for the rest of my life. and i will feel like a hypocrite. by the way i was called down to the principals office and she's actually in deep trouble since they have the record of what her and her friends had done before. and i know as muslims we mustn't lie but we denied hitting her and so she is in trouble for having made a racial comment. should i defend Allah and his Prophet by making simple statements towards the enemy that may, make them think twice about what they said. i want to set a good example for the non muslims and muslims alike. i love peace and justice but i don't want to be violent and i don't want to be the one who doesn't practice what she preaches. Allah does not like those who tell others to do what they themselves don't do. and i don't want to be one of those whom Allah despises. but i cannot walk away without defending my faith becuase as a Muslim this is required. what can i do is the question?:salam2: and JazakaAllahu khayran for your previous reply, it helped alot.

:salam2:
Alhamdulilah you are out of trouble, i was worried you would get suspended. I won't congratulate you on how you got yourself out of this mess but at least it better than the consequences. Next time don't get yourself in a situation where you have to lie. Okay ukhti!
Well, i asked my islamic teacher about your question before i answered you in the previous post and that is the answer she gave.
I know how you must feel, I too sometimes don't like to remain silent or ignore people when they are doing something wrong or when i see injustice. Sometimes you have to learn when to speak up or remain silent. Remember the hadith of the prophet when he said(paraphrasing) "if you see something wrong change it with your hand, or speak against it, or hate it with your heart"
Now lets see changing it with your hand with your situation will bring more problems, so this won't work. Speaking against it might or might not work. Remember there is a time to speak and a time to not speak. And also when you do speak chose your words wisely. Lastly hating with your heart, it will work. It might seem like you are weak by doing this but still you are doing something right. Also when you are hating them and what they are doing, you are also making dua against them.
And don't forget what i told you: use wisdom. Allah has blessed us with the ability to think and be intelligent. So show the non-muslims that you are not a reactionary person but instead that you are in control of your emotions and that no matter what they say or do you will always love Allah and His Prophet. The best dawah you can do is through your behaviour. You can wins hearts and minds through it.
I hope i make sense. :salam2:

 

[goldenmuslimah21]

wa alaikum salaam, a great reminder for us all

 

[poetic]

I understand how you feel but you shouldn't have gone so far as to beat her up, she mocks muslims and islam and your proving her opinons right (although they are not) your giving into her, and she wants that. She wants you to act as she views you, you made your self look bad as a muslim and have affected her opinion greatly. Use your words proudly and even if its hurting you, dont let it show, stand up for yourself and show your love for Islam. Think of how little this is, you got in a fight with one girl who rebels against Islam, prophet Mohammed PBU .. And he stayed content. If you love the messenger, show it in your actions.

 

[poetic]

I meant to say prophet Mohammed PBU has to face thousands of people against Islam and he stayecd conent*

 

[IbnAdam77]

:salam2: sister Palastine...

i understand your situation clearly...it will be a difficult situation really...what we always have to remember is that this Dustful Dunya is a place of Tests...both physical and mental...

mental tests are more complicated than physical most of the time...in the time of Rasoolullah (saw), many and many times he (saw) faced the disturbance of Kuffar...sometimes they call he (saw) is a magician, sometimes a lier etc etc by being near to him (saw)...however, he did not respond them by shouting or hitting...rather, the respond was peace and calm...just telling them to prostrate only to ALLAH (swt) inorder to win both Aakhirah and Dunya...

sometimes people hurt the prophet (subuhaanallah) only because he calls them for the only true path which will benefit them rather than making them losers...but sometimes the response was by hurting him by stones...

when Rasoolullah went to Taif, the people of there injured the prophet (saw) by stones...but he never threw even a single one over them...when Jibreal (a.s) came and asked for permission to destroy them all, he did not give the permission and prayed ALLAH (swt) to give them hidhaayah...

that was how ha (saw) responded to the people who injured him...was not he having powerful troops of Malaaikah?...was not he (saw) asked for permission to destroy them all?...no...whats the result of it?...all the people of Taif became muslims later...mashaALLAH...

Islam is the peaceful religion...sister Just isnore her and make dua to the almighty ALLAH (swt) to give her hidhaayah...inshaALLAH she will be in the straight path soon...

wish you all the best...

wassalam

-brother IbnAdam-

 

[palestine]

I understand how you feel but you shouldn't have gone so far as to beat her up, she mocks muslims and islam and your proving her opinons right (although they are not) your giving into her, and she wants that. She wants you to act as she views you, you made your self look bad as a muslim and have affected her opinion greatly. Use your words proudly and even if its hurting you, dont let it show, stand up for yourself and show your love for Islam. Think of how little this is, you got in a fight with one girl who rebels against Islam, prophet Mohammed PBU .. And he stayed content. If you love the messenger, show it in your actions.

ukhti i want to clarify we did not beat her as in hitting her hard. i only gave her a slap and pulled her, however i do understand that was wrong. but at the moment i had no self control. You said "If you love the messenger, show it in your actions". ukhti i only did what i did to defend him. i did it because i could not take a girl my age offending my Prophet. i hope that you don't think i don't love him. and like i said before, what i did was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG AND WRONG ONCE AGAIN. and i've learned my lesson. we all make mistakes but the important thing is that we learn from our mistakes. and trust me, i've learned my lesson for sure. jazakaAllahu khayran ukhti for the advice. asalamu alaykum wrwb.