Shaking hands/hugging with opposite sex on Eid in order to visit relatives ?

[Hopetogoparadis]

Assalam alakum


If you can not explain your father/mother's relatives that you shouldnt shake hands nor hug with opposite gender while greeting, do you think its better not to go and visit them ?

I am not talking about your own uncle, aunt, cousins, grandparents but rather your ''fathers aunt'', your ''fathers cousins'', your ''fathers relatives'' etc. And sometimes when you go there, you can meet with other people as well who will greet you with shaking hand or hugging.

I know its very bad to cut relationship with relatives, we should visit them, we should take care of them and so on. But is this also applying my parents relatives ? And its not just them, but as i said, because that its Eid, when you go out of house with parents, you meet various people while visiting.

So what to do ? Should we try to go only mahram relatives ? Or in order to visit most of other relatives as well, should we just go and visit them and expect Allah to forgive us for other sins we might commit while there ? (Greeting opposite gender with shaking hand/hugging)

 

[tic_tac_toe]

Assalam alakum


If you can not explain your father/mother's relatives that you shouldnt shake hands nor hug with opposite gender while greeting, do you think its better not to go and visit them ?

I am not talking about your own uncle, aunt, cousins, grandparents but rather your ''fathers aunt'', your ''fathers cousins'', your ''fathers relatives'' etc. And sometimes when you go there, you can meet with other people as well who will greet you with shaking hand or hugging.

I know its very bad to cut relationship with relatives, we should visit them, we should take care of them and so on. But is this also applying my parents relatives ? And its not just them, but as i said, because that its Eid, when you go out of house with parents, you meet various people while visiting.

So what to do ? Should we try to go only mahram relatives ? Or in order to visit most of other relatives as well, should we just go and visit them and expect Allah to forgive us for other sins we might commit while there ? (Greeting opposite gender with shaking hand/hugging)

:salam2:

This is a very important question and topical.

The response is two folds. Firstly, anyone whom you can marry (doesn’t matter that you are 17 and she is 65) you shouldn’t touch in anyway whatsoever and it is impermissible.

Secondly, be polite but stand up for your Islam because if you compromise people will run you into the ground. Politely and respectfully say that it is against Islam to shake hands with people who are not Mahram to you and if they say you used to do it or I looked after you when you were a baby then say that you didn’t know back then or had no control over it but now you request that your wishes be respected. Say that the fear of reckoning on the day of judgement prevents you from this action.

It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.”

http://islam-qa.com/en/ref/21183/shaking hands

 

[Hopetogoparadis]

walakumsalam brother

thank you for your response but the thing is, i am not brave enough to tell them anything about it. So i wonder, whether i should go or no

 

[tic_tac_toe]

walakumsalam brother

thank you for your response but the thing is, i am not brave enough to tell them anything about it. So i wonder, whether i should go or no

:salam2:

Dear Brother,

If you are unable to articulate yourself and save yourself from the Fitnah then personally I would rather avoid a situation then to fall into a sin but I am not a Scholar and this is my personal opinion.

 

[a_stranger]

Assalamu alaikim sister

I think for a while you should stop visiting those people till you find the courage or they understand your new position . I am sure that when our intention is to please Allah subhanahu wa taaala things will be settled just be patient .

 

[Sidra Rasib]

Asalamu Alaykum Brother,

I don't think you should stop visiting them, rather you should meet the men properly and just say Salaam to your female relatives from a distance. I think they would get it (inshallah).

I'm not sure if this is true or not but I've come across an article which stated that shaking hands with the opposite sex is fine as long as you know that your intentions are clear. But then again you might have clear intentions and the other person might not... quite complicated ...

 

[tic_tac_toe]

Asalamu Alaykum Brother,

I don't think you should stop visiting them, rather you should meet the men properly and just say Salaam to your female relatives from a distance. I think they would get it (inshallah).

I'm not sure if this is true or not but I've come across an article which stated that shaking hands with the opposite sex is fine as long as you know that your intentions are clear. But then again you might have clear intentions and the other person might not... quite complicated ...

:salam2:

:ma:, very balanced and good advice but on the issue itself...

If you search the Internet diligently enough you will find Fatwas on many controversial issues but the historical precedence in Islam is that Muslim men didn't shake hands with Muslim women and we find no evidence of this practice in Qur'aan & Sunnah, rather we do find evidence to the contrary.

 

[Sidra Rasib]

:ma:, very balanced and good advice but on the issue itself...

Jazakallah Brother

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam alaikum,

Ok...the practical. If you stand with your hands folded in front of you below your belly...sorry....and keep your eyes down...people get the message. You can be considered shy. Keep a smile on your face and keep your hands folded.

And stand perpendicular to the ladies. It demonstrates a respect.

 

[islamerica]

I'm not sure if this is true or not but I've come across an article which stated that shaking hands with the opposite sex is fine as long as you know that your intentions are clear. But then again you might have clear intentions and the other person might not... quite complicated ...

Hadith speak louder than articles, who are nothing more than page fillers.

There is a hadeeth (narration of an event) from Ma'qil ibn Yassar, saying; The prophet, peace be upon him said, "It is better for you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle than to touch the hand of a woman who is not permissible to you."
[At-Tabarani in "Al Kabir, #486. Shaikh Albani said in Sahih al-Jaami' it is sahih #5045]

Ayesha, the wife of the prophet, peace be upon him, said: 'When the believing women migrated (to Medina) and came to the prophet, peace be upon him, they would be examined in accordance with the words of Allah (in Quran): "O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you the bai'a (pledge of allegience), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e. by making illegal children belonging to their husbands), and that they will not disobey you in any Ma'ruf (Islamic Monotheism and all that which Islam ordains) then accept their bai'a (pledge of allegience), and ask Allah to forgive them, Verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful". [Al Mumtahinah 60:12]


Any of the believing women who accepted the conditions of the verse and agreed to live by them were considered to have offered themselves for giving their oaths of allegiance. When they declared their committment to do so, the prophet, peace be upon him, would say to them, "You may go. I have confirmed your allegiance."

I swear by Allah, the prophet's hand never touched the hand of a woman. He would receive their oath of allegiance by spoken declaration. I swear by Allah, the prophet, peace be upon him, never took any vow from women except what Allah had ordered him to take and his palm never touched the palm of a woman. When he had taken their pledge, he would tell them he had taken their oath from them orally.
(Sahih Al Muslim Book on Government, Hadtih #4602)


Ayesha said: 'Any of the believing women who agreed to that had passed the test, and when the women agreed, the prophet, peace be upon him, said to them: 'Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.'
"No. (I swear) by Allah, the hand of the prophet, peace be upon him, never touched the hand of any woman; instead they would give their oath of allegiance with words only."

And Ayesha said: 'By Allah, the prophet, peace be upon him, only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allah, and the hand of the prophet, peace be upon him, never touched the hand of any woman. When he had received their oath of loyalty and allegiance he would say, 'I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally."
[Sahih Muslim, #1866]