Salams my dear brothers and sisters,
Frankly speaking this is how I am feeling and I am sure this is the mentality of anyone who is so engrossed with the materialistic world.
We are so hooked onto the dealings with life that you forget the origins of your reason for living.
I am one such victim, I am so fed up with my life and I am fed up with the suffocation that I have been enduring for the last 10 Years of my life.
I have been a victim of abuse as a child, victim of sociophobia where even the mere brush of a guy would make me aggressive and violent.
Alhamdulillah Allah has blessed me with intelligence and discipline and I used it to the max in accomplishing my academic goals, but things changed, I faced obstacles and diversity in life, certain phenomenons that has warped my mind and understanding, placing me in a dilemma of being in awe and being extremely angry and upset and unjustified.
Long story short, I was also a victim of black magic, apparently done by people who I once considered close, done for the SIMPLE reason: they don't want me to be successful in life, anything that I do since then have been nothing but a trauma, of conflicting voices in my head, of having terrible dreams and being unable to wake up from my sleep and being trapped in my dreams.
I have come far along since, my isolation from society have made me socially inept, I want to pray but am pushed away by my misery.
This is me now, healthy, analytical and sound minded.. alhamdulillah but my life is plagued with ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, FEAR OF FAILURE, FEAR OF REJECTION AND MEDIOCRITY.
My abused childhood has been a key factor in my detioration in self image and self respect.
My so called 'black magic' influenced traumas, has left me purposeless, worthless and social phobic.
My question to you all ?
PLEASE HELP ME, GUIDE ME
I so far have realised that in the circle of life, everyone goes through ups and downs but the only thing we will be merited with will be our contribution towards the deen and our struggle to uphold our imaan.
What is the best possible way to attain TAQWA?
Can anyone please post, advice on the lifestyle, routine, anything that will help me start initially?
I am a very structured, visual and analytical minded person and I know this will take a lot of effort on your part but I sincerely am asking as a last resort.
Jazakallah
Frankly speaking this is how I am feeling and I am sure this is the mentality of anyone who is so engrossed with the materialistic world.
We are so hooked onto the dealings with life that you forget the origins of your reason for living.
I am one such victim, I am so fed up with my life and I am fed up with the suffocation that I have been enduring for the last 10 Years of my life.
I have been a victim of abuse as a child, victim of sociophobia where even the mere brush of a guy would make me aggressive and violent.
Alhamdulillah Allah has blessed me with intelligence and discipline and I used it to the max in accomplishing my academic goals, but things changed, I faced obstacles and diversity in life, certain phenomenons that has warped my mind and understanding, placing me in a dilemma of being in awe and being extremely angry and upset and unjustified.
Long story short, I was also a victim of black magic, apparently done by people who I once considered close, done for the SIMPLE reason: they don't want me to be successful in life, anything that I do since then have been nothing but a trauma, of conflicting voices in my head, of having terrible dreams and being unable to wake up from my sleep and being trapped in my dreams.
I have come far along since, my isolation from society have made me socially inept, I want to pray but am pushed away by my misery.
This is me now, healthy, analytical and sound minded.. alhamdulillah but my life is plagued with ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, FEAR OF FAILURE, FEAR OF REJECTION AND MEDIOCRITY.
My abused childhood has been a key factor in my detioration in self image and self respect.
My so called 'black magic' influenced traumas, has left me purposeless, worthless and social phobic.
My question to you all ?
PLEASE HELP ME, GUIDE ME
I so far have realised that in the circle of life, everyone goes through ups and downs but the only thing we will be merited with will be our contribution towards the deen and our struggle to uphold our imaan.
What is the best possible way to attain TAQWA?
Can anyone please post, advice on the lifestyle, routine, anything that will help me start initially?
I am a very structured, visual and analytical minded person and I know this will take a lot of effort on your part but I sincerely am asking as a last resort.
Jazakallah