What to do??

[Anwa]

Salam,
I need everyones help on this.

I'm 26 years old and am thinking of going to university. And i need to do this because i need a degree to help me find a better job and then that will help me to find a bride.
But my mums worried that if i go to university I'll be too old by the time i graduate!!! And that I wont find a bride anymore!!! I'm Bengali and in Bengali culture if you don't get married by about 28 then you've missed the party.
So my mums really worried but i want to go to university!
Also if i don't go to university then I'll probably never get a good job and therefore never get a bride anyway because everyone wants money nowadays.
So what shall i do??
Go to university and risk never finding a bride or stay in my current job, which i absolutely hate, and hope to find someone who doesn't want money.

Jazakallah

 

[MUHAMM7D]

:salam2:

Brother I personally think you should get Married, and pray that Allah makes the rest easy for you, you do not need a good job and a lot of money to marry, you shouldn't marry a women that wants you for your money.

Ask yourself: what am I looking for in a spouse.

Abu Hurairah related that the Prophet Muhammad said: “Men choose women for four reasons: for their money, for their rank, for their beauty and for their religion, but marry one who is religious and you will succeed” (Bukhari, Muslim).

 

[shichemlydia]

help inchae allah...

salam alikoum sister,
first i will tell you a little story it may mean something to you,
there was a woman who wished all her life to become a doctor and allah enabled her to do so. then when she worked years after years.
she found herself alone and she felt like something is missed in her life, and was asked what is your dream now, she said" my dream now is to be the mother of someone who calls me mama".
so sister the mercy of being a wife and a mother is something which does not have a price, the pleasure of living in a family where the husband go out to find the rizk for the wife and the children, and the wife looks after the house and the children is something really great.
what i advise you, is to follow the path which pleases allah swt most, and be sure if someone leaves something for the sake of allah swt, then allah will give him back what is best.
allah swt said in the qoran " and who fears allah, then, allah will find him issues and give him from where he never thought about".
if it was to me, i will not go to the university, because after 28 years, the chances will be getting lower and lower.
this is my advice to my sister, and allah knows the best
may allah give you the husband you wish, ameen,
wa salam alikoum

 

[tabaria]

:salam2:

Well, are you able to get married at this point? And its not like you can't get engaged while in university. A lot of people do that here.

 

[MUHAMM7D]

salam alikoum sister,
first i will tell you a little story it may mean something to you,
there was a woman who wished all her life to become a doctor and allah enabled her to do so. then when she worked years after years.
she found herself alone and she felt like something is missed in her life, and was asked what is your dream now, she said" my dream now is to be the mother of someone who calls me mama".
so sister the mercy of being a wife and a mother is something which does not have a price, the pleasure of living in a family where the husband go out to find the rizk for the wife and the children, and the wife looks after the house and the children is something really great.
what i advise you, is to follow the path which pleases allah swt most, and be sure if someone leaves something for the sake of allah swt, then allah will give him back what is best.
allah swt said in the qoran " and who fears allah, then, allah will find him issues and give him from where he never thought about".
if it was to me, i will not go to the university, because after 28 years, the chances will be getting lower and lower.
this is my advice to my sister, and allah knows the best
may allah give you the husband you wish, ameen,
wa salam alikoum

I'm pretty sure He is a Brother

 

[user expired!]

:salam2:

Bro don't worry about the degree! If you really want to get married you can it isn't that hard just ask aorund. I'm bengali and i have to say most Bangladeshis get married quite late compared to other Muslim cultures ie Somalian, Indian ... etc. My cousin got married when he was 29 and had no degree. Just be patient and make DUAAAA !!!!! Ask yourself why do want to get married? and make that intention for Allaah and He will help!

ps if you want to go uni still you can get married and go uni just get a part time Job, my friend is a third year now and just got married so dont worry!

 

[amirah80]

:salam2:

If at your current job you can support a wife then marry now. Remember in life there are no gurantees. Maybe you will attend a university and get a degree and still cannot find a better job. So do not just depend on that. If you are able to get married then do it. All women are not about money! As long as you can provide you should be ok look for a pious woman inshallah she will see beyond your wallet. The degree is not what will give you money. Allah gives you the money you must believe he will make a way for you.

Salam Amirah80

 

[raayinrahman]

Assalamu alaikum!!!!
Well if i was in ur position, what i would do is i ll marry n also carry on wit studies. ur situation is like u wanna have the cake n also eat the cake.. well so think about it.. education is absolutely vital amongst us muslims.. So i am really happy to hear about ur courage to read further in ur studies... but think about ur future as well, after all studies is not everything so get married to an understanding lady who really cares for u n also practises Islam n then insha ALLAH she will b more than happy to let u achieve ur dream n she will b a part of ur success..
May Almighty ALLAH make ur task ez

 

[Anwa]

:salam2:

Bro don't worry about the degree! If you really want to get married you can it isn't that hard just ask aorund. I'm bengali and i have to say most Bangladeshis get married quite late compared to other Muslim cultures ie Somalian, Indian ... etc. My cousin got married when he was 29 and had no degree. Just be patient and make DUAAAA !!!!! Ask yourself why do want to get married? and make that intention for Allaah and He will help!

ps if you want to go uni still you can get married and go uni just get a part time Job, my friend is a third year now and just got married so dont worry!

Thanks for your reply.
My mum has been trying to find someone for me for some time now but when it comes down to money and how much I earn, i get rejected. I guess its because the brides family think I might not be able to support their daughter/sister. So because of this I think I should got o university come out with a degree and hope to get a good job, if not then inshaallah having the degree might even help me get married.

 

[Anwa]

:salam2:

If at your current job you can support a wife then marry now. Remember in life there are no gurantees. Maybe you will attend a university and get a degree and still cannot find a better job. So do not just depend on that. If you are able to get married then do it. All women are not about money! As long as you can provide you should be ok look for a pious woman inshallah she will see beyond your wallet. The degree is not what will give you money. Allah gives you the money you must believe he will make a way for you.

Salam Amirah80

Salam, according to all the families my parents have spoken to so far, i don't earn enough to support their daughter/sister.
You say all women are not about money, but so far thats all I've seen and heard, everyone wants money!!
I'm actually thinking of going to university and then by the time I finish and can't find someone to marry then I'll just live with it.

 

[Anwa]

:salam2:

Well, are you able to get married at this point? And its not like you can't get engaged while in university. A lot of people do that here.

Salam,
I am able to get married now but only if i can find someone who is happy to accept the fact that I'm on a low income and might be on that income for a long time. And so far I've had no luck.
I've heard those stories of people getting engaged at work or university or wherever. But those are few and far between.

 

[Almeftah]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله

Dear brother;

Learning and seeking knowledge is considered Jihad, and it has nothing to do with age..

As for marriage, I know many men who got marrid at the age of 40.

I got married at the age of 31.

If you were ment to get married you will get married no matter how old you are..

Mothers tend to worry too much, Just try to talk some sence to her and that one can never know what destiny has for him/her.
you can't wait all your life to find the suitable woman, and since you looked and never found one yet, I'd say dont waste your time and go to the university.

 

[Anwa]

Assalamu alaikum!!!!
Well if i was in ur position, what i would do is i ll marry n also carry on wit studies. ur situation is like u wanna have the cake n also eat the cake.. well so think about it.. education is absolutely vital amongst us muslims.. So i am really happy to hear about ur courage to read further in ur studies... but think about ur future as well, after all studies is not everything so get married to an understanding lady who really cares for u n also practises Islam n then insha ALLAH she will b more than happy to let u achieve ur dream n she will b a part of ur success..
May Almighty ALLAH make ur task ez

Salam, I pray for the day when i meet a woman like that. I don't know if your bengali, but in our culture money defines who you are and who you can get married to.
I think my best bet is to go to university and then hope for the best, i sometimes can't believe that there is a time limit on getting married!!!

 

[abu'muhammad]

:salam2:

brother Anwa,

From the message you have written , you want a good job and better future. So I think You prefer tht for yourself and your family.

So, I would advice you to study further. So for tht convince your mother. Cause I think ,If you marry then it will be an end to your education. An addition of new responsiblity will certainly curtail your academic career.But if you find it possible to get married along with studies, then get married. You can also study by Distance Learning Mode at home or Parttime course.-InshaAllah

And don't worry for your job,InshaAllah it will be settled. Leave it to Allah. He is Razzak. He is giving to all.To some more and to some less , what is in better for the person. So,pray To Allah ,that you can achieve your aims-InshaAllah.