A special thank you to sister shyhijabi

[slaveofAllah88]

:salam2:
sister shyhijabi, im not sure if you remember but you posted a message few days ago about how the current muslims are not understand the situation of new muslims especially the parents of many people. I talked with my mom today about this idea, like other people she would say that its better to be Pakistan, yea beiing muslim is good but she should be Pakistani and today i had a long discussion with her after i got the courage from your message and I think i made some difference.
I wanted to thank you sister and wanted to tell everyone we don't need to be rude to parents to make a difference.
inshallah she can convey message to other and muslims can be better and more helpful to our new converts.

 

[AlQurtubi]

I can see where you are coming from Shaheer . See, its the courage what is required

InshALLAH you will get what you want

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

Thank you so much, brother Shaheerpak. If the conversatione ever arises between you and you mother, ask her why it's better to be Pakistani? Was any of the Prophets or sahabis Pakistani? No? Were any of the wives of Rasool, Pakistani?

I think we need to remember that nations will rise and fall but Islam is eternal. Pakistan didn't even exist 60 years ago, so what was best then? And when Pakistan collapses (like every nation shall do before judgement day) what then? Who is the "best" or "better"? When we die and stand before Allah, naked and ashamed, do you think our nationality will even be on the scale? I don't.

Having a common culture helps build bonds but it should not become a seperator. It should not draw lines between this Muslim and that Muslim. Many Pakistanis tell me that their parents would be more against a black man marrying their daughters than any other race. CAn you imagine if someone as pious as Bilal was turned down when asking to marry their daughter? Can you imagine the shame and embarrassment on judgement day when they are asked why they turned down a superior match for thier daughter because of prejudice and bigotry?

We either believe all the words of Rasoolillah or none at all. And his last sermone he said that no one was superior or inferior because of race or color, only piety made the difference. But we've become "cafeteria Muslims" picking and choosing what to follow.

But ahve hope yet brother, because of brave brethren like yourself, willing to ask the awkward questions and hold a mirror before our elders. Thank you brother, you;ve restored my hope.

Wasalaam

 

[AlQurtubi]

"Having a common culture helps build bonds but it should not become a seperator. It should not draw lines between this Muslim and that Muslim. Many Pakistanis tell me that their parents would be more against a black man marrying their daughters than any other race. CAn you imagine if someone as pious as Bilal was turned down when asking to marry their daughter? Can you imagine the shame and embarrassment on judgement day when they are asked why they turned down a superior match for thier daughter because of prejudice and bigotry"

You have hit the nail on the head here sister. The newer generation i think is better than the older one when the culture and islam comes in. They are so open to do it.

There is lot to be said regarding "Saas and bahoo" thing when it comes to marriage between other cultures and pakistani culture. I think we might need another thread for that. But i wonder who would be participating in it?

 

[path to jannah]

assalamu alikum dear sis..
you truly opened d new generation mask which ive been seeing in many marriage ceremonies.. well try to change it insha allah

 

[Tabassum07]

I know. Here in the subcontinent, everyone is fixated about "zaat" or caste. I, being half raised in the West, thought this to be so weird when I saw all the muslims here breaking people up into little castes. My parents actually convinced me that this was normal and Islamic, until I decided to research it on my own and decided its all pretty stupid. But I convinced my parents that all the caste segragations are complete rubbish. My parents don't base their ideas on this system anymore, but some of my relatives are so horrified at the idea of someone marrying in another caste. I wonder what they'd say if someone married someone from another region entirely. They'd probably explode, most likely In the end, what matters is we're all muslims, and that the entire human race sprung up from the same two people.

 

[IbnAdam77]

wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

This is indeed a huge problem in our Ummah. Parents sometimes do not understand. What we can do is talking and convince them in a very polite manner so that they may understand with the mercy of Allsh(swt). I have discussed with my mother and father separately regarding this matter. Both of them are very understanding Alhamdhulillah. However there is one concern of them. That is they fear if I may leave them and go away, and said that they will be happy if I live here with them even if I marry someone from another Nation. But still that is not a MUST.

As the other brother said, now some people do understand. Alhamdhulillah.

May Allah (swt) make our whole Ummah to be always in a state that there is no Racism or any other kinds of discrimination among Muslims. Ameen.

wassalam

-brother IbnAdam-

 

[BinteShafi]

Salaam,

Thank you so much, brother Shaheerpak. If the conversatione ever arises between you and you mother, ask her why it's better to be Pakistani? Was any of the Prophets or sahabis Pakistani No? Were any of the wives of Rasool, Pakistani? ?

I think we need to remember that nations will rise and fall but Islam is eternal. Pakistan didn't even exist 60 years ago, so what was best then? And when Pakistan collapses (like every nation shall do before judgement day) what then? Who is the "best" or "better"? When we die and stand before Allah, naked and ashamed, do you think our nationality will even be on the scale? I don't.

Having a common culture helps build bonds but it should not become a seperator. It should not draw lines between this Muslim and that Muslim. Many Pakistanis tell me that their parents would be more against a black man marrying their daughters than any other race. CAn you imagine if someone as pious as Bilal was turned down when asking to marry their daughter? Can you imagine the shame and embarrassment on judgement day when they are asked why they turned down a superior match for thier daughter because of prejudice and bigotry?

We either believe all the words of Rasoolillah or none at all And his last sermone he said that no one was superior or inferior because of race or color, only piety made the difference. But we've become "cafeteria Muslims" picking and choosing what to follow.

But ahve hope yet brother, because of brave brethren like yourself, willing to ask the awkward questions and hold a mirror before our elders. Thank you brother, you;ve restored my hope.

Wasalaam

I love the above post especially sentences in red. Thanks sister Shyhijabi.

I tell you what sister....many Pakistani parents do not even let their kids marry other Pakistanis i.e., My father did not allow my sister to marry a very good practicing Muslim because he had no piece of paper which is called a DEGREE (secular education). Though he is a very knowledgable hafiz-e-Quran brother.... and because his job is kind of a labour work and he belongs to an inferior cast (in my father's eyes).

My friend's uncle wants to marry to ANY girl who should be very pretty, doctor, and her cast should be Pathan from both father and mother side. he has even rejected the girl whose mother was not Pathan. Please note that none of these basic conditions is that she should be God fearing and pious.

Things like this happen every day...not only in marriage issues but in all sort of matters...I have numerous incidents to tell which hurt me and many others deep inside. Being Pakistani, I do come across incidents like this every day but still I am hopeful. Changes are happening believe me. Still I have absolute hope and trust in Allah that our future is bright insha Allah...still I believe one day we will have a society somewhere on earth where Qur'an and Sunnah will be implemented not only on individual and family level but also on state level..Insha Allah.

 

[AlQurtubi]

Very Right BinteShafi, things like that are happening our daily life. I think we should step ahead and tell our parents that this is NOT Islam . We must do it poliltely though.


"I tell you what sister....many Pakistani parents do not even let their kids marry to other Pakistanis i.e., My father did not allow my sister to marry a very good practicing Muslim because he had no piece of paper which is called a DEGREE (secular education). Though he is a very knowledgable hafiz-e-Quran brother.... and because his job is kind of a labour work and he belongs to an inferior cast (in my father's eyes)."

Shadi ka jo tunay zikr kia aye hum nasheen
Ik teer meray seenay pay mara kay haye haye..

lol

 

[slaveofAllah88]

:salam2:
all beautiful post, and i would have never had the courage to talk to my mom if it wasn't for my sister shyhijabi and thats wat i wanted her to understand Islam comes before everything Allah (swt) made us into countries and tribes so we get to know each other but the muslim UMMAH is the strongest bond of all, it was really hard she kept on point out how a non-Pakistani girl would never understand the culture lol you know the normal parent talk, and i told her mom, everyone belongs to a different culture with has its own significance, its not the culture that ties us together its own deen our imaan, and we have no right to say a new convert deen is not strong as our cuz most of them understand islam better than we do

Well overall, it was a long conversation, she was not understanding in the beginning but i let her speak her mind out and then i explained to her slowly and I feel like its a step forward cuz later that night she called another Pakistani friend over and was explaining to her how we have become more nationalist than religious it made me happy and its all thx to you sister shyhijabi, May Allah (swt) reward you for helping this ummah open its eyes for the better.

I think we all should have a small conversation with our parents, and like brother AlQurtabi said in a really polite manner its really important let them speak their mind and then explain the logic.

Shadi ka jo tunay zikr kia aye hum nasheen
Ik teer meray seenay pay mara kay haye haye..

lol merey bhai aap ko teer marney se pehle teer thor doon lol shaadi pe zaroor bulana ;P

 

[ayesha_r]

:salam2:
nice post brother shaheerpak. Now that I read your post. i wonder if thats what my parents think as they are pakistani as well. I am pretty sure they have the sampoint that they guy or the girl should be pakistani. Inshallah I will talk to them too and see what they think.
very nice post
May ALLAH bless you

 

[Zaynab123]

Asalamu alaykum

:ma: our sister is very smart, may Allah subhana wata'ala bless her amiin

wasalam

 

[slaveofAllah88]

:salam2:
thank you sisters, but mashallah Allah (swt) has guided so many great people towards islam, their sincere imaan, knowledge is a helping us all.

I think we all should sit down and politely talk to our parents inshallah they will understand if we provide reference from QUran and hadith and help them inshallah

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

When I signed in today and saw this thread ahd grown so much I was actually nervous to read it. I was afraid I had offended with my words and that people were going to become defensive and fitnah would arise. But instead I see that everyone is on the same page and feels the same, alhumdulliah there's hope for unity yet.

When I read the word "caste" I am shocked it's coming from Muslims. Caste is a Hindu creation and based off their kuffar religion, and yet we have Muslims swallowing that excrement as our own. It's shocking because it's like Muslims have been offered an amazing religion...think of it as a steak meal with all the trimmings and some of us are rejecting it and saying we prefer to eat the dirt in the ground. (taking on cultural practices from other religions)

I actually had to laugh bitterly when I read that parents don't think a convert's deen is strong enough. I have sacrificed my family ties, my previous marriage, and a safe, stable home to become Muslim. I wonder if these so-called "raised Muslims" would be able to stand the same trials? They already do whatever their parents say, whether it's right or wrong, could thay have the courage to embrace Islam even if it meant defying everything their family believes? Would they be able to face their mother and father when they say, "You are dead to me, never come back, never look at me, you're name shall never be spoken in this family again"? I doubt it. They would probably fold and commit apostacy instanteously. And they question the convert's deen. *snort*

But like I said, brother Shaheerpak has restored some of my hope. Hope that this next generation will return to the important things, Islam over culture. We should rejoice in our diversity and not make it an artificial partition between us. So use it as a divider literally goes against the reason Allah swt made these differences in the first place.

Wasalaam

 

[AlQurtubi]

"When I read the word "caste" I am shocked it's coming from Muslims. Caste is a Hindu creation and based off their kuffar religion, and yet we have Muslims swallowing that excrement as our own. "

Its so because we have an influence of hindu culture here. Sister ShyHijabi, ALLAH will bless you soon with a good person.

I have read a lot here about wat kind of difficulties they (reverts) face when they rerevert etc etc and still they hang on islam. It reminds me of SAhabah who used to say Uhad Uhad , despite of the fact that they were tortured badly by kuffar, 1400 years ago.

It shows that islam is the same as it was earlier while we have changed. ALLAH is the same while we have changed. Also, kuffar as same old kuffar doesnt matter how much they wrap theirselves in the labels of freedom, liberalism etc etc

There is an urdu verse by Allama Iqbal..

Aaj bhe ho gar Ibraheem sa emaan paida
Aag ker sakti hay Andaaz-e-gulistan paida

(if you have the level of emaan like Prophet Ibrahim had... Fire can still turn into an orchard)

Brother Shaheer, i was talking to my mother a while ago and i was saying let me merry or if i move out of pakistan, i would merry any moroccan.. lol. And you have done a lot of work to convince you mom. Wow! You have started to become a Man
Yes, I will invite you dont you worry. Can you tell me exactly what you told your mom? lol

 

[BigAk]

Salaam,

When I signed in today and saw this thread ahd grown so much I was actually nervous to read it. I was afraid I had offended with my words and that people were going to become defensive and fitnah would arise. But instead I see that everyone is on the same page and feels the same, alhumdulliah there's hope for unity yet.

The truth will always stand high While falsehood crumbles and dies.

What a wonderful thread. I myself have learned from sister ShyHijabi regarding another issue.. Even since then I've been a better Muslim.

May Allah keep us all on His right path and never let our hearts go astray after He had guided us. Ameen.

.

 

[hana*]

sister shyhijabi, i admire converts i always see them as being just like the companions of the prophet (SAAS) as they were in reality converts/reverts. they were not spoon-fed islam they struggled, just like the converts of today, they gave up so much and many have had their parents reject them. i think converts are amazing people, just like musaab ibn umair and khabaab ibn al-arat.

however i dont think all parents have this cultural thinking; my origin is from syria and i know my parents dont have the ideology that she or he 'must be syrian' or whatever. i think when people concentrate on thinngs like that, it is because of that lack of understanding of the true beauty of islam. i loved youre analogy of the steak meal. and yes, the cast system is from hinduism.

when salmaan became a muslim, he was a non-arab, so the companions welcomed him and told him you are now our brother. one companion offered to divorce his wife for salmaan - imagine their love for one another. nobody said o it is better that you were an arab!! they accepted him fully despite being of roman background!

we must never forget the prophet saas's last words and amoungst them, there is no superiority of an arab over a non-arab (and that applies to any race) except in piety.

 

[BigAk]

I myself think that I don't have an ounce of prejudice in my heart... I even happened to be married to a woman from Ahl al Kitab. I ask Allah everyday to guide her to Islam. It's all at His own will.. He knows best and I accept my fate. Subhan Allah how life goes....

.

 

[IbnAdam77]

Salaam,

I wonder if these so-called "raised Muslims" would be able to stand the same trials? They already do whatever their parents say, whether it's right or wrong, could thay have the courage to embrace Islam even if it meant defying everything their family believes? Would they be able to face their mother and father when they say, "You are dead to me, never come back, never look at me, you're name shall never be spoken in this family again"? I doubt it. They would probably fold and commit apostacy instanteously. And they question the convert's deen. *snort*

Wasalaam

wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullahi wbarakatuh

Sister I am not going against any of my Muslim brothers or sisters. However, those words that I quoted above made me to go to leave this laptop and go to my bed with a mind filled with sadness.

I love all my Muslim brothers and sisters for the sake of Allah. In your words, all the born to Muslim family Muslims are included. Please do not forget that there are many among them also who had to leave their family for the sake of Allah. Could not live in the same country where their family is, and had to do a Hijrah with any child(ren) they may have. There is a friend of a sister of mine who is divorced with a small child and no one to help. Therefore she is living in a foreign country with her child, finding a job from there. She is a Niqabi too, and now in a Kuffar country. How easy will it be.

Different people will be faced with different trials. Some will pass and some will not pass. Please do not think we (yes we) are having a very peaceful life in this place called Earth. It is filled with hardship for each and every Muslim. Doesn't matter revert or born to Muslim family. If I do not tell, no one will know my situation. Same is with others too. It is very wrong to say we already do what our parents say. The truth is, we do whatever good they say to the best of our ability.

I am really sad after reading the above paragraph.

May Allah (subuhaanahu wata'aala) make us all to be United under Laa-Ilaaha Illallahu Muhammdhurrasoolullah. May He (subuhaanahu wata'aala) bestow His mercy over us and make our lives easier than now.

wassalam 'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

-brother IbnAdam-

 

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: Me and my husband are from two different countries. What brings us together is Islam. I dont understand this concept about culture.I think the reason people want to marry or become friends with people from there country is mostly because of language.The old ladies want daughter in law from there country cause they feel comfortable with the language. Well we all should learn arabic since it is the language of jannah and end all this problem