Beauty/Looks are important?

are looks important


  • Total voters
    77

stiks

Amatur-Rahman
:salam2:

Bismillah.

Are people who say looks aren't important lying?

I think yes, a big fat lie to avoid sounding shallow. People say no but the first thing most looks at is the looks and then every thing else.
 

islamisthesolution

Junior Member
:salam2:

well sister sometimes people get deceived by the look i guess we should give ourselves a chance to know the other and i learned not to judge a person from his look that means that i used to judge ppl from their looks but not any more alhmdullilah .
actually i leaned this after a harsh experiments not all those who look good from outside is good from inside and vice versa
:salam2:
 

stiks

Amatur-Rahman
That realy good sister Mashaallah, but are you realy saying when it comes to a potential spouse looks aren't going to matter?
 

islamisthesolution

Junior Member
:salam2:

sister do you think i am going to judge my future husband from the way he looks and what about the way he should treat me? what about his religion ? what about his morals and prinicples ?
i know many girls looked to the look of their husband and you should see them now .
being a good looking isnt verything believe me .

:salam2:
 

stiks

Amatur-Rahman
It’s true looks aren’t the be all and end all, but lets say a brother who was good in his deen, but his looks are ( this sounds rude i'm sorry to say) very ugly. And there's absolutely no attraction to him then i would say no, simply because i have to be with this man, i have to spend the rest of my life with him (while a man can get a second, third, fourth wife) he is supposed to be my safeguard against fitnah. how will that work? You see what i mean?
 

shaheeda35

strive4Jannah
:salam2:
Looks does play an important role, but it should not be the major thing. If that is the only thing that is focused on, then they will not focus on what is really important, such as deen. You should be attracted to your mate, but its not everything. Allah knows best.:)
 

fada_all

Junior Member
salam alikom


in fact, yes because nowadays appearance are very important than any thing else ..any palce you go they give a great attention to you if you look well dressed , im talking with experience, either when i was studying or at work now they give so much attention to people who are like this regardless of their background ,mentality or level of education
frankly speaking, if you want to contact any responsible in any administration or a boss and you don"t seem well dressed they didn't allow you even to enter to the reception setting....

But in my point of view i do agree with you sister hijab_al3efah appearance are most of the time deceiving, so me too i can't judge people from there appearance now matter what happens...there is a perverb in arabic that is said :لباسك يرفعك قبل جلوسك،وعلمك يرفعك بعد جلوسك i will try to translate it into English : if you were in meetings of work or sth else....your dress give a great value before you sit , and after that your konwledge give you the greatest value after you sit.. i hope it is well understood....
when i choosed my husband i didn't care about his appearance or other things ..but his background , principles..and what is more important his lmane....
salam alikom
 

islamisthesolution

Junior Member
It’s true looks aren’t the be all and end all, but lets say a brother who was good in his deen, but his looks are ( this sounds rude i'm sorry to say) very ugly. And there's absolutely no attraction to him then i would say no, simply because i have to be with this man, i have to spend the rest of my life with him (while a man can get a second, third, fourth wife) he is supposed to be my safeguard against fitnah. how will that work? You see what i mean?

yes sister i got what mean and may be you right .
but imagine that you got married to a very handsome man and he is an addict or he cheat on you or most important not pious and he treat you very very badly.
and imagine someone who may not look good but he honor you and loves you and treat you as if you are a princess .
so i guess if i want a good husband and good father for my kids i will choose the second one .
because when we grow old we dont look good we lose this beautiful faces but we never lose our beautiful hearts and our good manners thats what i really feel .

:salam2:
 

a_muslimah86

Hubbi Li Rabbi
Staff member
:salam2:

I voted *yes absolutely*...people GASP when I tell them I care about how good-looking my potential spouse would be...for some reason some people even begin to doubt my devoutness and how sound of a Muslimah I am..this part I especially find annoying and senseless..

I just believe that it does not harm to know about the piety..maturity..and good character to find out about your compatibility..and then see how he looks like to determine if he has *all* that your prefer..I mean even Islamically..there's *al-nadhra al-share'eyya*..where a man can see the woman he's proposing to..and the woman can ask for the same chance..and this was STRONGLY recommended by Rasulullah..a young man once proposed to a woman and he told Rasulullah that he did not see her...and he (saaws) *ordered him* to go back and look at her because he said *it creates mawadda* (literally 'liking between two people')..

Also..I believe that in addition to completing half of our deen with marriage..we are keeping ourselves from fitnah..even women can look at a man and then look back at him again because he attracted her attention..or see a man and think he's handsome..that's why WE'RE asked to lower our gaze as well!!!...plus..we live in a chaotic time..and we certainly lack a halo and a pair of wings..we're only human..and Shaitan paces around us DYING to find that little gap in our lives so he can start acting out his evil and exercising his passion of whispering to us...

So I say *why not take care of it from the beginning?*..and act upon human nature..I'm not saying I will go all picky and wait for that DROP-DEAD-GORGEOUS-BROTHER!..but I'll at least go with someone whom I feel attracted to physically..and the sisters need to know that there's no shame in that at all!!!..because inshallah we'll all go through it in the strict context of halal :)

:wasalam:
 

allah is with me

Rabana Wa laqal Hamd
well, i feel sister that nothing is important for a pure muslimah ... just her heart is important .. as i feel, and i know, whatever i am telling is right
 

AlQurtubi

Banned
looks are important but to a certain extent. THey are not EVERYTHING. Attraction is an important part of life but we should not accept or reject on the basis of this only.

Religion and piety are more important but it doesnt mean that i will get married to a girl whom i dont feel attracted to. This has just happened. My mother went to see a girl and she is religious etc etc . All the things were in her ( i was happy lol ) but when i saw her, i just didnt feel like getting married with her. It doesnt mean that she was too bad but I didnt find thyat attaction for me to go ahead. And most of all, that istikhara didnt come ok.

Means that i agree to sister muslimah_86 to a certain extent

Just to complete, we havent said NO to her yet :)
 

stiks

Amatur-Rahman
Aha! i knew it! shalow people!(lol just kidding)

In any case beauty (looks) is subjective. one man's meat.......
 

islamisthesolution

Junior Member
:salam2:

let me add something that my future husband inshAllah got to be acceptable to me that means i need this chemistry to be there .

but let me ask you question sisters
if there are two people proposing to you one of them is very handsome and you know that he is not that good .and the other one is a not so good looking man but he is really pious who would you choose as a husband ?
 

stiks

Amatur-Rahman
:salam2:

let me add something that my future husband inshAllah got to be acceptable to me that means i need this chemistry to be there .

but let me ask you question sisters
if there are two people proposing to you one of them is very handsome and you know that he is not that good .and the other one is a not so good looking man but he is really pious who would you choose as a husband ?

Neither one quite frankly, that is if the second one doesn't appeal to me, but the first one is out of question.
 

a_muslimah86

Hubbi Li Rabbi
Staff member
if there are two people proposing to you one of them is very handsome and you know that he is not that good .and the other one is a not so good looking man but he is really pious who would you choose as a husband ?

I'll think..*Allah is All-Generous*..and qisma takes place in it's determined time..so I'll wait for other proposals..unless the 2nd brother has something *especially* and *additionally* good about him..then maybe..just maybe..I will pray istikhara and decide from there! :)..so yes..I can stop being shallow (ehm! sister stiks?!) for that one time and think about it :)

:wasalam:
 

Muslimah16

ServantOfAllah*
Oh Damn!

Why isnt there a maybe so option?!

:D :D :D
Not really, to me looks dont bother me.
He just has to be a caring, loving, understanding.......... oh the list could go on!

But, seriously, looks isnt everything.
It is something, but you cannot reject someone on this basis, like someone has already mentioned.
:)

Wassalam
 

AlQurtubi

Banned
U know wat .. my sheikh says the physical beauty is like a distemper ( a kind of paint )which starts getting off when you get to 35 years of age :)
 

a_muslimah86

Hubbi Li Rabbi
Staff member
U know wat .. my sheikh says the physical beauty is like a distemper ( a kind of paint )which starts getting off when you get to 35 years of age :)

akhi..I think the sisters will go after you for this...if not go after you..then DEFINITELY..grudge on you! lol

:wasalam:
 
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