question for single women and marrired ones

[bemuslim]

If there comes to you one with whose religion and attitude you are satisfied, then give your daughter to him in marriage, for if you do not do so, fitnah anmischief will become widespread on earth."5 DO WE REALLY PUT THIS HADITH INTO PRACTICE.HOW MANY GOOD MEN HAVE BEEN REJECTED BY MANY WOMEN OR PARENTS BECAUSE OF THEIR INABILITY TO MEET THESE DAUNTING CONDITIONS OR BECAUSE OF THEIR LACK
OF MEANS. TO BE HONEST WITH YOU WE NEED PEOPLE WHO ARE FULL OF DEEDS[/SIZE]

 

[MubarekMuslimah]

Salaams

very true, this has happend to more than 1 good practicing sincere brothers I know....and its also happned to some sisters I know. We should (men and women) be selecting our marriage partners in accordance with Quran and Sunnah - looking at their deen first as the most important criteria - and not putting their beauty or wealth or whatever first......a woman or man who is pious and on the deen is the most beautiful and the most wealthy ( in good deeds in the HereAfter) then any person with a pretty face or £££ in their pocket........and parents should be aware of this too when giving blessings/permission to their child's proposal and marriage.

Insha'alllah we should value the aspects of Islam as criteria for marriage and not take UnIslamic or the non-believers's values as those that are the most important to us.

Salaams

 

[Mabsoot]

Assalamu Alaykum,

If someone gets rejected, then it was meant to be,

It is indeed true that the person who is Islamic should be chosen.

However, Women do not have to choose the first person who comes along, they have a choice as do men.

A person needs to take their time when getting married, sisters never rush into anything please. You can have as many meetings as is necessary as long as your mahram is with you.

Things to look for, good Character, Look at their family too and how they behave. If a sister or brother ALSO has their own list of criteria, such as beauty, wealth, lineage or whatever that is their own personal choice and nothing wrong with that. It is their life.

Marriage should not be rushed. And It should be done in accordance to Islam. Allah is the one who blesses it.

Wasalam.

 

[Albint_Almuslima]

Asalam Alakum Wa Rahmet Allah Wa barakatu

:salam2:

I Will speak right now from my own prespective.
My family and i have rejected many guys. Yes most of them were religious but the way they approach to ask for your hand in marriage is not proper.
I live in America, sometimes you cant trust most men who dont have papers because they come and ask for your hand in marriage and they know nothing about you or your family they mostly want to enter America.
Correct me if im wrong but this happens to many girls who live outside their country. ( USA, Britian, and so on)
Some men do admit that they want to marry the girl for her papers. They say they need to support their family and so on, but they dont even mention nothing about the girl!!!!!!!!!!!


IF THIS OFFENDS ANYONE PLEASE I ASK THE MONITORS TO REMOVE THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Mabsoot]

:salam2:

I Will speak right now from my own prespective.
My family and i have rejected many guys. Yes most of them were religious but the way they approach to ask for your hand in marriage is not proper.
I live in America, sometimes you cant trust most men who dont have papers because they come and ask for your hand in marriage and they know nothing about you or your family they mostly want to enter America.
Correct me if im wrong but this happens to many girls who live outside their country. ( USA, Britian, and so on)
Some men do admit that they want to marry the girl for her papers. They say they need to support their family and so on, but they dont even mention nothing about the girl!!!!!!!!!!!


IF THIS OFFENDS ANYONE PLEASE I ASK THE MONITORS TO REMOVE THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wa alaykum Salam,

What you state is true. I dont see why it should offend anyone.

I think sisters need to be extra careful. Its common sense basically, that people must take their time, be patient and choose. If you feel happy with the suitor then that is fine. Otherwise, just move on, see the next one. And brothers do the same. The worst thing one could do, is marry without thinking or taking time over the decision. To marry without a Wali (guardian), certainly if the guy tells the girl to not listen to her parents or her family it is a problem. Unless, there are proper grounds for that, ie they are not Muslim or they disagree on non-Islamic grounds - Even then it is for a knowledgeable Imam to decide.

At the end of the day, the person who is getting married and is looking for right partner must be happy with him or her.

Nobody should ever feel upset or angry if they do not get something. Whether it is a house, a car, a book or a marriage partner!!

Allah is the most wise, the most high. He has things planned out for us better than we could ever imagine. Just chill, dont stress. All we got to do is have patience and rely on him. This life is a big test for us all. We got to utilise the miracle that Allah gave to mankind, the Quran.

Allah tells us that he is with the patient.
O you who believe! Seek help in patience and As-Salât (the prayer). Truly! Allâh is with As-Sâbirin (the patient ones, etc.).(Quran 2:153)

Do they not see that Allâh, Who created the heavens and the earth, and was not wearied by their creation, is Able to give life to the dead? Yes, He surely is Able to do all things. (Quran: 46:33)

 

[arabiantxn]

:salam2:

I Will speak right now from my own prespective.
My family and i have rejected many guys. Yes most of them were religious but the way they approach to ask for your hand in marriage is not proper.
I live in America, sometimes you cant trust most men who dont have papers because they come and ask for your hand in marriage and they know nothing about you or your family they mostly want to enter America.
Correct me if im wrong but this happens to many girls who live outside their country. ( USA, Britian, and so on)
Some men do admit that they want to marry the girl for her papers. They say they need to support their family and so on, but they dont even mention nothing about the girl!!!!!!!!!!!


IF THIS OFFENDS ANYONE PLEASE I ASK THE MONITORS TO REMOVE THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have some papers for sale anybody intreasted in buying them

 

[Albint_Almuslima]

Asalam Alakum Wa Rahmet Allah Wa barakatu

:salam2:
LOL
HA HA HA HA HA
WALLAH THAT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NICE ONE

 

[Dawoodi]

i have something to say!!!

salam walaikum w

i have something to say!!!!!!!

it really make me feel really sad of the situation now days subhanah Allah!

i Used to live in london were i became muslim 8 years ago and for the las 5 years i was looking for a wife

You know what?

5 years looking for a sister and i indeed met many sister masha'allah very nice.... but at the end even if they were ok with me they neglect me becose i didnt had a resident or british papers

it was never about me been neglected becose personality or Eeman but becose my situation.

its incredible, i wasnt illigal at all.

i was with a full time student visa and i had a really good job, i even was working for a islamic org.

but hey i wasnt british... i didnt have the rigth status and that hurts as muslim!

more over, i wasnt paki, nither malay, nither indian, nor arab etc.

i undertand sisters or families feel afraid of this but came on since when is this discrimination is something islamic?

isnt islamic, not to be suspicios of another muslim? actually we should trust our brothers and sisters and more over trust Allah subhanah wata'allah?

i didnt got another visa and i left my islamic studies in the midle, and i had to come back to my mother land wich i dont regret ither but i realy feel that there is something really bad happening with the ummah in so call first world cuntries.

why are they guarding this thing of papers as if were the bigest tresure? why sisters seem so terrorise as soon some one dont have a british pasport o usa pasport? its is a crime?

maybe u could thing of the Baraka u would gain providing a hand for a brother or sister who has the real intention of getting married for Allahs sake.

just look around and see how many brothers and sisters are singles? and that argument of hey i dont marry him becose maybe he could just been looking for papers its not from Islam! that is been suspicious! and is haram

and besides whats rong with wanting to have a residence in a place were u can have a potencial wife?

i been told hey whay u dont get a wife in your home land... i also will reply hey here i can count the muslims with the fingers of my hand.

but dont take me rong i belive in kadar and what will be it will be insha'allah.

:angryblue: :angryblue:

but the way i still looking but now i'm delegated to internet ..what would it be my chances? lol i dont think so!

insha'allah hope i have soon the oportunity to go to a muslim cuntry like Yemen, morroco etc and maybe there i will find a humble sister to marry and less westernise.

salam walaikum.

 

[faiz_fauzi]

In my country fortune is considered first choise to get married.In order to get married u at least have a good job,a car a house perhaps."mahar" is according to state fatwa.But the present u have to give will be considered most.10,000,20,000,50000,100000.The more u give the more u get.Marriage depends on how can u afford it.Not depends how u can handle the marriage itself.As long as u have the money and fortune u can always get married.I doesn't matter how pious u r.But how much money u can make 2 support the family.That why in my country the divorce rate is MashaALLAH! scary.The rate is above the marriage rate.Can u imagine that?

Remember the guideline that Rasulullah S.A.W give in seeking for the right person,

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status. her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust. [Sahih-Muslim]

I agree with bro mabsoot
"Allah is the most wise, the most high. He has things planned out for us better than we could ever imagine. Just chill, dont stress. All we got to do is have patience and rely on him. This life is a big test for us all. We got to utilise the miracle that Allah gave to mankind, the Quran."

May Allah guide us,forgive us,help us and love us ALL!

 

[bemuslim]

THIS IS MY OPINION

salam alaikum

thank you for your frankness and spontaneity.I believe that the man or a woman who is a good person and true believer should be given help and
should not rejected.i can not see any harm if he or she immigrates and
marries a muslim woman or man in a foreign countrY.Once he or she gets married , he or she will support her husband or his wife.Moreover there will be no difference between them.ALLAH IS THE BEST PROVIDER AND ONE SHOULD MAKE CAUSES.MARRIAGE IS ONE OF THEM.IF IN MY COUNRTY I CAN NOT AFFORD TO GET MARRIED , it is not wrong if i marry with a muslim woman
who is living in what ever place in the world.ALLAH KNOWS BEST.:astag: :tti_sister:

 

[Sister June]

Most women wont leave there home country or even marry a man that may want to move away from her home country. I told my husband up front before we married I am not going to his home land. We would be way below poverty level and that is very scary, jobs are next to none and travailing is a long drawn out process to get papers.
Most people like what they grow up with and dont like much change.
I did have a man propose to me and told me up front that his first wife was married for papers, but he "really" wanted to marry me for the right reasons. I walked away and never looked back! I also know of two women who were married to men and the men had wives and kids at home in there home country. (un knowing to the women) To be honest, men (and women)cannot be trusted at face value, just a proposal is not enough, the family of the women need to go to meet the family of the man before marriage to get "the whole story". We live in a world of dishonest people! Sad but true.

My $.o2.
:tti_sister:
Salaam

 

[shaz_1999]

Its true wat every1 hz said but u know wat wen I see a bloke as such for da chance of marige I have to see if I can wake up next to dat bloke 4da rest my life if i cannot imagine dat den yeh it iz difficult to say yes to him.
But lets face it lookin 4a decent bloke iz so hard I rely need 2see myself getin n wid da bloke 2.
Life iz mad, at da end of da day wat hapns will hapen, if its Allah will

 

[Marwa17]

lol...not to make fun of british people...but i've always wondered...what's a bloke?...do people really say that stuff?

 

[Abdul-Raheem]

:salam2:

A bloke means a 'guy'. It's slang and yes we do really say that, well sometimes anyway

 

[bemuslim]

EXCLUSIVE OFFER

[IN THE NAME OF ALLAH MOST GRACIOUS MOST MERCIFUL

MAY ALLAH REWARD NEW CONVERTS , ALL BELIEVERS AND GUIDE NON MUSLIMS TO WHAT PLEASES HIM

Let me introduce my self.I am a muslim man.I am living in an arab country.The reasons that motivated me to write in this forum is to exchange cultural and religious information and convey my modest knowlege to all people regardless to their countries , race and religion.I RESPECT Non muslim and pray for them , on the other hand , i love muslims and pray for them too.When i watched the story of new converts and the way they became muslims, i wept and invoked ALLAH to marry a pious woman or one of them.There is a prevailing belief that they are some men or women who want to marry western people is to get papers.THIS CAN BE TRUE BUT THOSE WHOSE HEART ARE FILLED WITH THE LOVE OF ALLAH, disregard material benefit and think of the hereafter.When i was a student i used to haunt the american library and british one.I would meet American teachers and English one.They come to my country with this belief that they are superrior and many men dream of them.As i fear God , i did my best to avoid temptation either by qiyam or duaa.Praise to be Allah who protected me and send tranquility into my herat and make my heart being attached to him.Allah is the best provider and his favors should be granted by obedience

--------------This is Not a Marriage Site, Please Do Not Absue Site Rules ------------

 

[hussain.mahammed]

As salam alaykum wa rahmatullahi wabarakatuhu
I fully agree with brother Dawoodi. As far as I think the problem is faced with the brothers who come to the so called 1st world countries (I dont believe in so called 1st or 2nd world) . So when they feel the time that they should get married lots of issues come up with the sister's side. Most of them think that the guy wants to get a Blue Passport or get a green card or whatever. But most dont look for the good qualities in them. Again I am not generalizing the whole scenario but this is the case with most of the people. As a result Brothers, non residents cannot marry resident sisters of the countries in EU and North America. lets be frank that the case is only with EU and NORTH AMERICA. Although each and every region has its own ideology people and their way of treating the groom.
I think you cannot judge or know what is inside a person's mind but atleast you have to careful and be aware, it concerns your life.
I agree with sister Albint Almuslimah too as she pointed out some important issues.
Anyways the ultimate decision rests with Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala, who has the PERFECT OF ALL PLANS. Because each and every step on this life is a test.
But I would like to suggest whoever wants to get married. Seek guidance from Allah, pray Salatul Istikhara and make more and more zikr or remembrance of Allah. Insha Allah , He will guide you and give you of what is best for you.
ma salam

 

[Albint_Almuslima]

Asalam Alakum Wa Rahmet Allah Wa barakatu

salam walaikum w

i have something to say!!!!!!!

it really make me feel really sad of the situation now days subhanah Allah!

i Used to live in london were i became muslim 8 years ago and for the las 5 years i was looking for a wife

You know what?

5 years looking for a sister and i indeed met many sister masha'allah very nice.... but at the end even if they were ok with me they neglect me becose i didnt had a resident or british papers

it was never about me been neglected becose personality or Eeman but becose my situation.

its incredible, i wasnt illigal at all.

i was with a full time student visa and i had a really good job, i even was working for a islamic org.

but hey i wasnt british... i didnt have the rigth status and that hurts as muslim!

more over, i wasnt paki, nither malay, nither indian, nor arab etc.

i undertand sisters or families feel afraid of this but came on since when is this discrimination is something islamic?

isnt islamic, not to be suspicios of another muslim? actually we should trust our brothers and sisters and more over trust Allah subhanah wata'allah?

i didnt got another visa and i left my islamic studies in the midle, and i had to come back to my mother land wich i dont regret ither but i realy feel that there is something really bad happening with the ummah in so call first world cuntries.

why are they guarding this thing of papers as if were the bigest tresure? why sisters seem so terrorise as soon some one dont have a british pasport o usa pasport? its is a crime?

maybe u could thing of the Baraka u would gain providing a hand for a brother or sister who has the real intention of getting married for Allahs sake.

just look around and see how many brothers and sisters are singles? and that argument of hey i dont marry him becose maybe he could just been looking for papers its not from Islam! that is been suspicious! and is haram

and besides whats rong with wanting to have a residence in a place were u can have a potencial wife?

i been told hey whay u dont get a wife in your home land... i also will reply hey here i can count the muslims with the fingers of my hand.

but dont take me rong i belive in kadar and what will be it will be insha'allah.

:angryblue: :angryblue:

but the way i still looking but now i'm delegated to internet ..what would it be my chances? lol i dont think so!

insha'allah hope i have soon the oportunity to go to a muslim cuntry like Yemen, morroco etc and maybe there i will find a humble sister to marry and less westernise.

salam walaikum.

I totally agree with you there, but not everyone is the same. You wanted a women for her but there are those who dont really care about the girl. When i reject a guy i dont reject him right away, my family and i ask about him his family and most of the time it turns out that they realy dont care about me they know nothing about me except the fact that i live in the USA.

And regarding going to Yemen, I hope you really get the opportunity to go because Yemen is a great country and has very respectful women at least most of them are.

 

[hussain.mahammed]

yes brother dawoodi, doesnt matter where you go but let me give you a secret formula for whatever you do..Insha Allah I was having so much of depression and problems going through. I was going through such big tests but Alhamdulillah I realised and learnt so much.
Always pray 2 rakah nafal to Allah whenver you feel bad or have any problems. And if you can pray everyday Salatul Istikhara. And praying the obligatory prayers in time as well as making zikr and remembrance of Allah more often helps a lot. Subhan Allah....
May Allah give us hidayah, Barakah and Noor in whatever we do and MAY HE Guide us always in all our activities...
Whoever Allah guides nobody can misguide and whoever He guideth not there is no guide.
There is no God or Deity worthy of any form of WORSHIP but ALLAH SUBHANAHU WA TAALA and Prophet Muhammed (peace and blessings upon him) is HIS slave and a Messenger of Allah to whole mankind.

 

[bemuslim]

dear dawoodi

There are a number of things that should be noted:

Firstly:

With regard to the dream that you have seen, you should ask people who have knowledge of that, whose religious commitment and ‘aqeedah you trust, so that they may explain its meaning to you. Beware of ignorant people and charlatans.

Secondly:

Many people think that following istikhaarah there has to be a dream or a feeling of ease in the heart, and so on, but that is not the case. Even if no such thing happens when a person has prayed istikhaarah and done his best to find out what is best for him, such as consulting people, examining the issue and asking those who have experience, then he goes ahead and does it, then it is hoped that this will be what is best for him, even if he does not feel at ease in his heart in the beginning. Even if we assume that he does not succeed in this matter that he goes ahead with after praying istikhaarah, it may be good for him even if he does not know it, but his Lord knows, may He be exalted.

Ibn al-Haaj al-Maaliki said:

Some of them pray istikhaarah as prescribed in sharee’ah and then wait until they see a dream from which they will decide whether they should go ahead and do whatever they prayed istikhaarah about or not, or until someone else sees a dream for them. This does not count for anything, because the infallible one (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us to pray istikhaarah and consult others, not to rely on what is seen in dreams. End quote

Al-Madkhal, 4/37

Thirdly:

If we assume that the interpretation of the dream suggests something good, good dreams are no more than hints, but they cannot be relied on. Rather you should try to find out and ask about the one who has proposed marriage, make sure whether he is religiously committed and of good character, and other things that you should find out about him. If you are certain of these matters then the good dream is no more than a message to be of good cheer when proceeding.

We ask Allaah to make goodness easy for you, and to bless you

 

[muslimahindeen]

:salam2: I have had countless proposals in the past and i rejected them all for one reason DEEN.......the person was'nt as knowledgeble with regards to deen as i would have liked ......I always said NO straight away ,Hey i know what i'm looking for and what i "need" in a spouse not what i want and that is some one who's mission in life is to be in the service of deen ,someone whose knowledgeble with regards to the laws and teachings of Islam that's the only way he'll value me.....some one with taqwa .And looks do matter cos i'll have to be seeing him everyday.

It's hard to find a good guy u gotta think twice....is he straight? what about previous relationships??? sometimes it makes u shed loads of tears cos u wanna get married but it seems like all the good guys are taken .............

I will say though that looking back i'm not regretting saying no to any of the proposals .........i'm happy i did'nt go ahead with it ...

sorry bros but it was meant to be