Question about marriage.........

[Isra]

As salamo alaikome brothers and sisters inshallah this post is finding you all in good health.

I have had something on my mind ever since I first started reading about Islam and its kind of bothered me a bit because Ive been unable to really understand the reason behind it.

Ok my question is WHY in Islam is it best to marry without love??? I was told that love is something shaitan puts in our minds to distract us from what is really important but I just cant imagine living my whole life with someone that I do not feel love in my heart for. When I read Quran I remember it said something like Allah has put the feeling in our hearts for one another so if thats true then what is wrong with being in love with someone before you marry them? Im very confused about this and want to understand.

 

[Safiyah_]

Salam aleiykum

I would also want to know an answer to that. It's a very good question.
Does anyone here in TTI know the answer?

Some people told me that after a while, you can fall in love with a person. But what is wrong with being in love with someone and mary him?

 

[Isra]

Some people told me that after a while, you can fall in love with a person.

The only problem I have with this scenario is what happens if you find that you are not able to fall in love with him??????? I mean what happens if you marry with the intention that someday you will love him but 10 or more years go by and you STILL dont love him???? There are many types of love but I want to get goosebumps every time I look at my husband and for the rest of our lives. This cant be guaranteed if you dont feel something for the guy before you even get married!!! This is very scary stuff to me since I am obligated to obey him and I cant see myself obeying someone I dont adore.

 

[a_muslimah86]

Who told you you have to marry without love dear sister?!

the love we're warned against is that filled with *lewdness* and *lust*...but pure love of pure and noble intentions is a beautiful blessing..how can we DARE to suppress it?!

 

[Isra]

Who told you you have to marry without love dear sister?!

the love we're warned against is that filled with *lewdness* and *lust*...but pure love of pure and noble intentions is a beautiful blessing..how can we DARE to suppress it?!

Salamo alaikome....

Well ok maybe nobody exactly "told" me that you "HAVE" to marry without love but from what Ive read of other Muslims talking about the proper procedure to go about finding a husband and arranging the marriage and keeping in mind that I am a recent revert with nobody to help me in this matter it just struck me as seeming rather "cold" in the way Muslims are supposed to meet and arrange their marriages. I mean I suppose if you were born Muslim this is the norm so nothing would seem out of the ordinary in that situation but for someone like me who is not only a new Muslim but also someone who has lived in a non-Muslim country ALL of my life it seems so formal and I dont know............ARRANGED so please forgive me if I seem rude because I dont mean any harm. It just seems very odd to me that Allah would want us to marry without love for the other person in our hearts and if we are supposed to marry in that arranged antiseptic sort of way then my question is WHY?????

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

If someone told you that one should not marry for love then they obviously are not familiar with the hadith that instructs if two Muslims love each other then to marry them asap. Sorry I don't have reference but I am heading out the door, I will try to post it when I return.

Wasalaam

 

[zbhotto]

READ IT

What is forbidden in ISLAM is a mercy of ALLAH (SWT) to the believer. Because if we abstain from what ALLAH (SWT) has forbidden, it will be easier for the believer to follow HIS (SWT) commands. Allah (SWT) enjoys something and ALLAH (SWT) dislikes/hates something. For example Allah (SWT) enjoys the SALAH (i.e., prayer), fasting, Hajj, Jakah, patience etc. Allah (SWT) hates associating partner with Him, comparing Him with HIS creation.

Now I come to your point. There are many wisdon why Allah (SWT) has forbidden something to the believers. If you think in depth you will find that if we do what He (SWT) forbids we will not be able to do what He (SWT) commands us to do. In otherwords Prohibition in ISLAM makes it easy to worship ALLAH (SWT) and by avoding what ALLAH (SWT) dislikes helps people to escape the trap of SHAITAN.

You can listen to the lecture of Dr. Jakir Naik where He explains why people of different religions do not practise their religions except ISLAM. ((People of ISLAM is practising ISLAM exactly the same way in every single details that companions of prophet Muhammad (PBUH) had practised 1400 years ago.))

In his lecture Dr. Jakir Naik proved that the blame goes to their religions itself not the follower of the religions.

Regarding to your questions We have been asked by Prophet Muhammad (SWT) ''Love one for the sake of ALLAH". We love our wives, children, parents, neighbours for the sake of ALLAH. Whoever loves for the sake of ALLAH (SWT) will be in the shade of ALLAH'S arash in the day of Judegment.

SO we do not love our wifes or husbands for LUST, SEX. Rather we love for the sake of ALLAH.

 

[zbhotto]

READ IT (MORE)

What is forbidden in ISLAM is a mercy of ALLAH (SWT) to the believer. Because if we abstain from what ALLAH (SWT) has forbidden, it will be easier for the believer to follow HIS (SWT) commands. Allah (SWT) enjoys something and ALLAH (SWT) dislikes/hates something. For example Allah (SWT) enjoys the SALAH (i.e., prayer), fasting, Hajj, Jakah, patience etc. Allah (SWT) hates associating partner with Him, comparing Him with HIS creation.

Now I come to your point. There are many wisdon why Allah (SWT) has forbidden something to the believers. If you think in depth you will find that if we do what He (SWT) forbids we will not be able to do what He (SWT) commands us to do. In otherwords Prohibition in ISLAM makes it easy to worship ALLAH (SWT) and by avoding what ALLAH (SAW) dislikes helps people to escape the trap of SHAITAN.

You can listen to the lecture of Dr. Jakir Naik where He explains why people of different religions do not practise their religions except ISLAM. ((People of ISLAM is practising ISLAM exactly the same way in every single details that companions of prophet Muhammad (PBUH) had practised 1400 years ago.))

In his lecture Dr. Jakir Naik proved that the blame goes to their religions itself not the follower of the religions.

Regarding to your questions We love our wives, children, parents, neighbours for the sake of ALLAH. We have been asked by Prophet Muhammad (SWT) ''Love one for the sake of ALLAH and Whoever loves for the sake of ALLAH (SWT) will be in the shade of ALLAH'S arash in the day of Judegment''.

SO we do not love our wifes or husbands for LUST, SEX. Rather we love for the sake of ALLAH.

 

[a_muslimah86]

Salamo alaikome....

Well ok maybe nobody exactly "told" me that you "HAVE" to marry without love but from what Ive read of other Muslims talking about the proper procedure to go about finding a husband and arranging the marriage and keeping in mind that I am a recent revert with nobody to help me in this matter it just struck me as seeming rather "cold" in the way Muslims are supposed to meet and arrange their marriages. I mean I suppose if you were born Muslim this is the norm so nothing would seem out of the ordinary in that situation but for someone like me who is not only a new Muslim but also someone who has lived in a non-Muslim country ALL of my life it seems so formal and I dont know............ARRANGED so please forgive me if I seem rude because I dont mean any harm. It just seems very odd to me that Allah would want us to marry without love for the other person in our hearts and if we are supposed to marry in that arranged antiseptic sort of way then my question is WHY?????

You're not being rude..and it is apparent that you don't mean harm ukhti..no worries..and I understand where you're coming from..I will try to put it in a simple explanation the best I can and inshallah you will understand my perspective as well..

In Islam..for a Muslim to go out and *purposely* look for *love*..and *preoccupy* his/her mind with that *single sentiment* to the point of *obsession*..can lead him/her to fall into the sticky trap of *lust*..for example..going to clubs..going to bbq's..going on university trips..going to city carnivals..or to the mall..and such..all in an attempt of "checking out" a potential partner..is a matter NOT tolerated AT ALL..one because it means that Muslim is *not lowering his/her gaze* according to Allah's command..and two..because like I said it's lust-provoking..it's as if they're putting themselves in a cage full of angry wolves and yelling *eat me! eat me!*..

The sentiment of love..should it develop due to a natural provocation according to the guidelines of Islam of what is good (think the deen..and the character of the person)..and kept a *sentiment*..without *action* to display it or extend it to the significant other..is NOT WRONG..it is a mercy..and a blessing from Allah (swt)..but like I said..it has to remain a sentiment *secret*..and unexpressed..*until*..a *context* of *halal* allows its *expression* and *display* to take place..and of course..a context of halal means..and only means..a *valid nikah*..and a *valid marriage*..

Now you might wonder how can I deal with this issue if I want to get married?..

well sister...I will be honest with you..for a sister it's a bit more difficult than a brother..because a sister has to be mindful of her haya'a and mindful of the current state of men in the Ummah..(i.e. it's not so easy for a woman to offer herself in marriage to the compatible man like it was done in the past)

But...

A sister shouldn't feel that she has to "arrange" her love into existence...tomorrow is a sack full of *unknowns*..what we are convinced of today..might disappear within a second of tomorrow..so you shouldn't feel worried..when a man proposes to you..before agreement to the marriage and while a mahram is present..you may sit with him so you can "get a feel" of what he's like..if you feel a "chemistry" (let's use this word for lack of a better one) and you agree to marry him..you have a *period of nikah*..through which you can get to know all that you want about your husband-to-be..and it is *all* taking place within a *noble context*..free of any *lust*..free of any *temptations*..with an intention *clear*..and a goal *clearer*..so you can bet that a *mutualness* of *respect* will develop..and upon that..will come a layer of comfort..then upon that a layer of appreciation..then upon that a layer of *love*..some people may get their layers out of order according to their fate..but point is..the love that will make a Muslim heart beat..is one that is *pure* and *deep*..untainted by the lewdness shaitan wishes to *peg* upon it!

What I am about to say next can be seen as strictly spiritual..but..ukhti..

The heart of man lays in the hands of Allah (swt)..and He (swt)..turns it about as He Pleases..doesn't it make sense to just *make dua'a* that Allah (swt) fills your heart with love and compassion towards your husband?!...even if you don't know a man..or have no one in mind..but know that marriage is within your mind..doesn't it make sense to ask Allah (swt) for what you want in it and from it..*ahead of time?!*..so when it (i.e. marriage) *does* come..you will find what your heart wanted..if not more?! (and I say more..because..sobhanallah!..Allah is The Most-Generous..and He might bestow upon you things which *you* didn't even *think of* asking for!)

So perhaps..when you feel a slight *worry* about the awkwardness..the risk..the future..the nots..and the buts..you should make a dua'a of what you seek from your marriage..and from the man you will call *my husband*..with all your heart..knowing that you're asking an All-Generous Rab who does not disappoint a servant!..and fill your heart with *the comfort* of knowing just *that!*

Believe me sister..even for *born-Muslims* (and I am one of them)..this issue raises questions..and some worries..it is because we are *humans* compelled to *think* of love and locating it embodied in another human-being who will be a life-time partner (if Allah Wills!)..don't feel that you're alone..and if you feel that you're somehow *limited*..then know that this limitation is from an Infallible Creator..Who has decreed it for *your* own good..so be patient..have good faith..make dua'a (of all that you want in your husband..and I mean *all*..as you are *allowed* to do that Islamically!)..and wait for *the best* to unfold before your eyes inshallah

I apologize for the length of my post..I pray that I answered your "why" somewhere within it..and..

May Allah Bless us all with pious..pure..goodhearted..Allah fearing partners..loving partners..Ameen!

 

[Isra]

Salaam,

If someone told you that one should not marry for love then they obviously are not familiar with the hadith that instructs if two Muslims love each other then to marry them asap. Sorry I don't have reference but I am heading out the door, I will try to post it when I return.

Wasalaam

Salam sister......

Forgive me but even though I have heard this before it also has me confused because if we Muslims are not supposed to be intermingling or even speaking to each other how in the world could we fall in love with each other? It makes sense if we do fall in love with another Muslim we should marry as soon as we are able to but if we are following the sunnah in the right way it means we wouldnt fall in love because we wouldnt have any kind of contact other than what is necessary so there would be no way to fall in love.

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Sister, so far in my life I've seen many people went through arranged marriage live together happily. On the other hand. many love marriages broke off midway through their marriage. Needless to say, vice-versa.

Two weeks ago, Allah gave me an opportunity to listen to a religious talk, the speakers both are husband and wife and very famous ustaz and ustazah in our Islamic TV show. They talk about everything relating to family making. The ustazah when she spoke said her mother always ask her to make du'a, one of the du'a was to ask Allah to give her life partner from among the pious Muslim. And she got this ustaz.

There was no love marriage but they living happily and today they are one of the best couple in Malaysia who go around the country daawah people.

Marriage should be built on the basis of taqwa to Allah, not just love. No doubt me and my wife was a love marriage, we were both non muslim when we got married. But let me tell you the noor of Islam is the one making us a happy couple today.

Nothing wrong falling in love with somebody, but as soon as we realise this we must let our parents know and let them make the move for us.

Otherwise shaitaan will grab the opportunity and play it's role instead.

 

[Isra]

You're not being rude..and it is apparent that you don't mean harm ukhti..no worries..and I understand where you're coming from..I will try to put it in a simple explanation the best I can and inshallah you will understand my perspective as well..

In Islam..for a Muslim to go out and *purposely* look for *love*..and *preoccupy* his/her mind with that *single sentiment* to the point of *obsession*..can lead him/her to fall into the sticky trap of *lust*..for example..going to clubs..going to bbq's..going on university trips..going to city carnivals..or to the mall..and such..all in an attempt of "checking out" a potential partner..is a matter NOT tolerated AT ALL..one because it means that Muslim is *not lowering his/her gaze* according to Allah's command..and two..because like I said it's lust-provoking..it's as if they're putting themselves in a cage full of angry wolves and yelling *eat me! eat me!*..

The sentiment of love..should it develop due to a natural provocation according to the guidelines of Islam of what is good (think the deen..and the character of the person)..and kept a *sentiment*..without *action* to display it or extend it to the significant other..is NOT WRONG..it is a mercy..and a blessing from Allah (swt)..but like I said..it has to remain a sentiment *secret*..and unexpressed..*until*..a *context* of *halal* allows its *expression* and *display* to take place..and of course..a context of halal means..and only means..a *valid nikah*..and a *valid marriage*..

Now you might wonder how can I deal with this issue if I want to get married?..

well sister...I will be honest with you..for a sister it's a bit more difficult than a brother..because a sister has to be mindful of her haya'a and mindful of the current state of men in the Ummah..(i.e. it's not so easy for a woman to offer herself in marriage to the compatible man like it was done in the past)

But...

A sister shouldn't feel that she has to "arrange" her love into existence...tomorrow is a sack full of *unknowns*..what we are convinced of today..might disappear within a second of tomorrow..so you shouldn't feel worried..when a man proposes to you..before agreement to the marriage and while a mahram is present..you may sit with him so you can "get a feel" of what he's like..if you feel a "chemistry" (let's use this word for lack of a better one) and you agree to marry him..you have a *period of nikah*..through which you can get to know all that you want about your husband-to-be..and it is *all* taking place within a *noble context*..free of any *lust*..free of any *temptations*..with an intention *clear*..and a goal *clearer*..so you can bet that a *mutualness* of *respect* will develop..and upon that..will come a layer of comfort..then upon that a layer of appreciation..then upon that a layer of *love*..some people may get their layers out of order according to their fate..but point is..the love that will make a Muslim heart beat..is one that is *pure* and *deep*..untainted by the lewdness shaitan wishes to *peg* upon it!

What I am about to say next can be seen as strictly spiritual..but..ukhti..

The heart of man lays in the hands of Allah (swt)..and He (swt)..turns it about as He Pleases..doesn't it make sense to just *make dua'a* that Allah (swt) fills your heart with love and compassion towards your husband?!...even if you don't know a man..or have no one in mind..but know that marriage is within your mind..doesn't it make sense to ask Allah (swt) for what you want in it and from it..*ahead of time?!*..so when it (i.e. marriage) *does* come..you will find what your heart wanted..if not more?! (and I say more..because..sobhanallah!..Allah is The Most-Generous..and He might bestow upon you things which *you* didn't even *think of* asking for!)

So perhaps..when you feel a slight *worry* about the awkwardness..the risk..the future..the nots..and the buts..you should make a dua'a of what you seek from your marriage..and from the man you will call *my husband*..with all your heart..knowing that you're asking an All-Generous Rab who does not disappoint a servant!..and fill your heart with *the comfort* of knowing just *that!*

Believe me sister..even for *born-Muslims* (and I am one of them)..this issue raises questions..and some worries..it is because we are *humans* compelled to *think* of love and locating it embodied in another human-being who will be a life-time partner (if Allah Wills!)..don't feel that you're alone..and if you feel that you're somehow *limited*..then know that this limitation is from an Infallible Creator..Who has decreed it for *your* own good..so be patient..have good faith..make dua'a (of all that you want in your husband..and I mean *all*..as you are *allowed* to do that Islamically!)..and wait for *the best* to unfold before your eyes inshallah

I apologize for the length of my post..I pray that I answered your "why" somewhere within it..and..

May Allah Bless us all with pious..pure..goodhearted..Allah fearing partners..loving partners..Ameen!

Salam my dear sister.....

Really your answer brought tears to my eyes and I understand what you are telling me although most of the things you talked about dont apply to my personal situation. I was really just wondering in general because when I was reading about how Muslims should choose a spouse then speak to the mahram I thought to myself "well what if you dont have a mahram or someone who even cares enough to get involved in all of this type of arrangements" because someone in my position doesnt have a mahram and doesnt live in a Muslim country and doesnt even know any other Muslims where I live. So what would someone like me do in a situation where I cant even MEET a Muslim man unless I meet him online and then I cant talk to him because that wouldnt be appropriate so HOW in the world could someone in my situation even meet or marry a pious Muslim man????

Im going to PM you with my personal questions but for the board and in the chance that possibly someone out there is in this same situation and doesnt know where to turn or what to do some advice can really be helpful. I know some people may suggest going to the local masjid and speaking to the Imam but if you live in a town like mine that is virtually impossible to say the least. When I was first thinking about reverting to Islam I actually went to the masjid nearest my house (30 minute drive by the way) and I went there 3 times and NEVER..........not even ONE TIME was I able to speak to the Imam. I can only imagine what it would be like to contact this person I have never even seen and ask him to be my wali........you can see where this is going right??? This type of situation is hard enough on someone who just reverted and is considering marriage but to actually know where to begin makes it even more frustrating. And if you are a shy type......well you might as well decide to live the rest of your days alone in this world.

Im not trying to be funny but really this is the reality of a reverts chances of getting married when you live in a country where the word Muslim brings on more strange looks than if you stood in the street and screamed the word FIRE!!!!

 

[AlQurtubi]

sister Tree (it sounds funny as a name) We will pray for you. You are finding it hard as you dont have muslim community perhaps.

Make a network of people around you. Try to get social (but dont get corrupt ) .

As far as meeting online is concerend, you need to be very carefull as cheating is much more easier online. Why not you contact sister cmelbouzaidi. She might be help you out.

We will keep you in our duas inshALLAH.

 

[AlQurtubi]

"you have a *period of nikah*..through which you can get to know all that you want "

Sister a_muslimah86, can you please explain whats a period of nikah?

 

[Isra]

sister Tree (it sounds funny as a name) We will pray for you. You are finding it hard as you dont have muslim community perhaps.

Make a network of people around you. Try to get social (but dont get corrupt ) .

As far as meeting online is concerend, you need to be very carefull as cheating is much more easier online. Why not you contact sister cmelbouzaidi. She might be help you out.

We will keep you in our duas inshALLAH.

Salam brother....

Actually Tree is a nickname because my real name is Theresa.

What you are suggesting about starting a network of people around me would seem like an ideal situation under most circumstances but in my case it would be impossible because if you read the post I was writing when you were posting this message you will see that in my area I dont know a single Muslim that I can contact and have any social anything with. I know alot of people because I have lived here for a long time but not one person I associate with is a Muslim so I pray alone and I live alone and I do almost everything alone. Dont get me wrong......I dont feel sad because this is what Allah has chosen for me and I understand that so I accept that and I only mention it to give you a better idea of my situation.

Its ironic you suggest I should contact sister cmelbouzaidi as I just spoke to her the other day in IM and I consider her a great Muslimah and personal friend. She knows my whole situation very well.

 

[AlQurtubi]

do u live on planet mars? How can it be that you have no muslim around?

 

[wannabe_muttaqi]

Assalamu Alaikum

Sister Tree,
Patience and duas is the key. Inshallah I shall remember you in my duas for a pious partner (I usually do this to the whole of ummah but now on i shall ask your name as well in specific). May ALLAH SWT make it easy on you.

One piece of advice is , apart from this problem you will face a lot of problems otherwise if you are not close circuited with musim community ( Like for Ramadan or Eid or many activities in the community). So is it possible to move to a place which has a good muslim population??? . I don't mean to pack your stuff now and move but can you plan it, say in a year or so.

 

[a_muslimah86]

Salam my dear sister.....

Really your answer brought tears to my eyes and I understand what you are telling me although most of the things you talked about dont apply to my personal situation. I was really just wondering in general because when I was reading about how Muslims should choose a spouse then speak to the mahram I thought to myself "well what if you dont have a mahram or someone who even cares enough to get involved in all of this type of arrangements" because someone in my position doesnt have a mahram and doesnt live in a Muslim country and doesnt even know any other Muslims where I live. So what would someone like me do in a situation where I cant even MEET a Muslim man unless I meet him online and then I cant talk to him because that wouldnt be appropriate so HOW in the world could someone in my situation even meet or marry a pious Muslim man????

Im going to PM you with my personal questions but for the board and in the chance that possibly someone out there is in this same situation and doesnt know where to turn or what to do some advice can really be helpful. I know some people may suggest going to the local masjid and speaking to the Imam but if you live in a town like mine that is virtually impossible to say the least. When I was first thinking about reverting to Islam I actually went to the masjid nearest my house (30 minute drive by the way) and I went there 3 times and NEVER..........not even ONE TIME was I able to speak to the Imam. I can only imagine what it would be like to contact this person I have never even seen and ask him to be my wali........you can see where this is going right??? This type of situation is hard enough on someone who just reverted and is considering marriage but to actually know where to begin makes it even more frustrating. And if you are a shy type......well you might as well decide to live the rest of your days alone in this world.

Im not trying to be funny but really this is the reality of a reverts chances of getting married when you live in a country where the word Muslim brings on more strange looks than if you stood in the street and screamed the word FIRE!!!!

I just read your PM..so I will make a more focused reply *to that* in a bit inshallah ukhti!..

However..since you brought up an important issue relating a situation of *many* reverts..then I will propose some small suggestions..and inshallah they will help those passing by the thread in a situation like it and thus benefit...

I think if a revert (whether a sister or a brother) is *strongly* considering marriage..and their Muslim community is lacking..as in they do not find certain elements of assistance from them (i.e. the imam is too busy..the community is "very ethnicity focused"..etc.)..then what would stop them from finding another masjid even if it is in a nearby town or state?!..if they want to build a new life and start it right..then a *bit* of *extra* work wouldn't harm right?!..so making a weekly (or semi-weekly) trip to a nearby masjid in another town or state (some states are *very close* to each other..so this is not *entirely impossible!*..it takes 1.5-2 hours to drive from my state to Missouri for example!)..mingling *the best they can* amongst people there..smile..say salams..attend a couple of "social gatherings"..potlucks and such (many masjids have this)..

And being a revert you will be *noticed* (and you WANT that!!!..take it to your advantage!)..so try to reach the Imam..or the one person MOST active in the masjid (sometimes Masjids have committees and they deal with EVERYTHING!)..and speak to them..*honestly*..tell them..I am such and such..and I want to get married to keep myself from haram..if anyone is such and such..and wants to get married nominate me to them (and don't worry the Imam or the person you're speaking to won't be inconsiderate and when they nominate you they'll say *oh by the way THEY ASKED that I ask for a partner for them!..so do you want to marry them or not?!!!*..I think they will have enough ettiquite to not do that!)..

So..DON'T GASP..DON'T PASS OUT..and DON'T THINK *NO WAY!*..if you want to defeat haram and high-five shaitan across the face! (i.e. SLAP HIM!)..then you have to step over these *fears* and *buts*..because just think about it..who should be MORE EMBARRASSED AND ASHAMED??!!!!...*you*..who is seeking *halal?!*..or someone who is *SPEED DATING* for example?!!!!!!..it just takes *courage*..a little *confidence*..a whole lot of *determination* and *hope*..and with dua'a things can get as easy as drinking a nice cold sweaty glass of lemonade on a hot hot hot summer day!!!

It might sound like a random suggestion to some of you (in this situation)..but I am dead serious..and really this suggestion can't be all *too impossible*..and if some of you are going to pay for *matrimonial websites*..and have all these *risks* that come along with it..then why not keep that money for *gas* and driving to nearby Muslim communities?!..where you might even see *your potential partner* face to face..and know and see who they are *in reality* without any *touch-ups!*

 

[a_muslimah86]

"you have a *period of nikah*..through which you can get to know all that you want "

Sister a_muslimah86, can you please explain whats a period of nikah?

It's the period which begins upon the completion of nikah..and lasts until the walima or the wedding..it can be 2 days..it can be 7 months..it can be a year..it depends on the couple..but that's pretty much it

 

[Isra]

do u live on planet mars? How can it be that you have no muslim around?

Salam brother....

Let me explain what I mean by no Muslim around. Its not that there are no Muslims around because we have a masjid even though its not very close so obviously someone is using it. There are Muslim's around and Ive met a few but this country is not a Muslim country and my state or city in particular is not Muslim-friendly (meaning maybe just a handful of Muslims live within a 30 mile radius) so meeting them is not so easy. And to answer your question.....no I dont exactly live on planet mars but I might just as well in this case.