I need some advice

[Gambino]

Hi,

I am a confused muslim. I believe in allah with all my heart but i still make sins.

I am 19 years old and have a very modern mind. I do all the regular things like listening to music, I use to drink a little at partys, but i have stopped now for almost 6months. I did smoke a bit, but i have stopped. Hopefully this is the last thing, I do eat non halal meat.

As you can see I am very very modern. It is very hard for me to change but I want to. My parents and there parents weren't really following islam to the fullest so I guess thats why i am like this. My grandma recently passed and now my father is very religious and has taken the step to pray 5 times a day and eat only halal. I would also like to start but its very hard.

Any advice?

 

[Gambino]

Also I have fasted the full month of ramadaan. This is my first doing a full month. Just to let you know.

 

[noose]

Bismillah ArRahman ArRaheem
Salamu Aliekum Wa Rahmat Allahi Wa Barakatu!
May Allah make it easy for you akhi, everyday is a struggle stayin on the deen and the straight path for everybody. As the Prophet SAW said: This World Is A Prison For The Believer And Paradise For The Non-Believer...there is a big difference between a Muslim and non Muslim...we just have to keep fighting our Nafs.
Also the Prophet SAW once asked the companions who is the strongest of Men, he then told them the one who can fight their nafs...may Allah give us this ability and the reality of these ahadith in our hearts.
So its not the easiest thing in the world but the more we follow Allah and get closer to Allah the better we will feel. It's usually easier to do the wrong thing akhi, such as lying cheating stealing disbelieving etc....but those are all cowardly acts, may Allah guide us to the straight path and keep us on it til we reach him Youmaltqa Al Jaman.

Forgive me for the long message dear lovely brother I would like to conclude with a hadith I found in another thread:
On the authority of Anas (Radhi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu alayhi wa Sallam) say:

"Allah the Almighty said: O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it."

[at-Tirmidhi, Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal]

May Allah grant you ease and success in this life and the next and may Allah unite us in Jannat Al fardous.

Subhanak Allahumma wa bihamdik ash hadu an la ilaha ill Ant astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaik

 

[Gambino]

Thank you so much for reply and helping me out with my situation.

 

[ditta]

As-salaamu'Alaykum Brother,

Welcome to the Forum brother.

Firstly, brother I have removed a portion from your post that is inappropriate for the public forum. Therefore please join the Brothers Only Club by clicking the link below (you will have to wait to be approved) and post the problem there:

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=95

Secondly, Alhamdu'lillaah that you have stopped the acts that were harming you. May Allah the Almighty continue to make it easy for you. Ameen. Brother, from your post it appears you want to learn how to pray, is this correct? If so, then this website has a Guide although I will wait for other Brothers and Sisters who are aware of one that is more user friendly.

Finally, in order for anyone to drop acts that are showing disobedience to Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta'aala) then I think one needs to know the qualities that Allah has described Himself from the Qur'aan and Sunnah. For example the information below is regarding Allah's Knowledge:

We know that Allah (The Exalted), bears the attribute of knowledge, and that He has called Himself by a number of Names which reflect this attribute, such as Al-‘Aleem (All-Knowing):

Verily, He only He, is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.

(Qur’aan 26: 220)

Another of these Names is Al-Khabeer (the All-Aware), which means that He knows what will be before it happens; Al-Hakeem (the Wise), which means that He knows the details of things; Ash-Shaheed (the Witness), which that He knows what is unseen and what is seen, i.e. that nothing is unknown to Him; Al-Haafiz (the Protector), meaning that He does not forget what He knows; Al-Muhsiy (the Reckoner), which means that the fact that He knows so much does not distract Him from knowing the tiniest of details, such as the light of the day and how strong the wind is, and when the leaves fall. He knows the numbers and the movements of each leaf.

His Knowledge encompasses generalities and minor details

Philosophers claim that Allah knows things in general terms, but He does not know minor details – but this is a lie. The Knowledge of Allah is comprehensive and all-encompassing, and nothing whatsoever is hidden from Him on earth or in the heavens. He knows every movement on land and sea, and there is no leaf that falls from a tree or a seed that is planted in the ground, or a small plant that cleaves the earth, or dries out or dies, but the Knowledge of Allah encompasses it:

...And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He know it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record.

(Qur’aan 6: 59)

Nothing of these innumerable animals is hidden from Allah:

And no moving (living) creature is there on earth but its provision is due from Allah. And He knows its dwelling place and its deposit (in the uterus or grave). All is in a Clear Book (Al-Lawh al-Mahfooz – the Book of Decrees with Allah.)

(Qur’aan 11: 6)

There is nothing that goes down into the earth, or ascends from the earth to the heavens, but Allah encompasses it with His knowledge:

He knows that which goes into the earth and that which comes forth from it, and that which descends from the heaven and that which ascends to it. And He is the Most Merciful, the Oft-Forgiving.

(Qur’aan 34: 2)

Nothing of man is hidden from Allah (The Exalted), whatsoever. Allah’s knowledge of man is comprehensive, encompassing his apparent and visible actions, but He also knows what is hidden in the depths of his soul:

Say [O’ Muhammad]: ‘Whatever you hide what is in your breasts or reveal it, Allah knows it...

(Qur’aan 3: 29)

And He is Allah [to be worshipped Alone] in the heavens and on the earth; He knows what you conceal and what you reveal...

(Qur’aan 6: 3)

This is knowledge which encompasses all the minor details of man’s life:

Neither you (O’ Muhammad) do any deed nor recite any portion of the Qur’an, nor you (O’ mankind) do any deed (good or evil), but We are Witness thereof, when you are doing it...

(Qur’an 10: 61)

Look at the Knowledge, from which nothing is hidden, not even the smallest grain:

O’ my son! If it be (anything) equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Verily, Allah is Subtle (in bringing out that grain), Well-Aware (of its place).

(Qur’aan 31: 16)

In the knowledge of Allah secret and open, small and great, unseen and seen, are all the same:

Allah knows what every female bears, and by how much the wombs fall short (of their time or number) or exceed. Everything with Him is in (due) proportion. All-Knower of the unseen and the seen, the Most Great, the Most High. It is the same (to Him) whether any of you conceals his speech or declares it openly, whether he be hid by night or goes forth freely by day.

(Qur’aan 13: 8-10)

Allah (The Exalted), indeed spoke the truth when He said:

...And nothing is hidden from your Lord (so much as) the weight of an atom (or small ant) on the earth or in the heaven. Not what is less that that or what is greater than that but is (written) in a Clear Record.

(Qur’aan 10: 61)

Therefore when one realises the greatness of Allah's Knowledge then it should be a deterrent from disobeying Him and committing those acts (I mean generally and not the one's that you stated specifically) that He (Allah) and His Messenger, the Prophet Muhammad have warned us against (we ask Allah to give us strength in obeying Him. Ameen). However nobody is perfect and we all fall into sins. Therefore do not lose hope in Allah's forgiveness and mercy. Allah says:

Say: "O 'Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

(Qur'aan, 39: 53)

I hope this helps.

 

[rightpath_357]

Asalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Bro- it's great to see you trying to change, even if you think you haven't reached your full extent yet.

First off- the non-halal meat. If your dad is eating only halal then start to accompony him. Halal meat is delicious, and theres no limit on what types you can get (regular, peices,whole,cold cuts)- except for pork of course. It IS hard to adjust to especially if you're not used to it. Because you won't be able to eat everything on the menu at regular restaurants and will have to stop eating certain things aswell. (haram Jell-O, gummies, marshmallows, etc.) But thats totally alright- don't worry. There are many places that you can get halal marshmallows, Jell-O and such aswell. Just walk away quickly when you feel tempted to buy something haram and remember to ALWAYS check the ingredients. Nowadays foods in regular stores have changed to using more fruit/veggie based gelatins rather than animal-based. So Insha'Allah it'll be easier for you. Start small and keep on climbing up until you eliminate all that stuff from your diet.

Another thing- have you even SEEN pork? Like- it's *completely* beyond me how people can even bear to eat such a thing without having their stomachs turn. All that blood!
Something to remember is that a pig will eat it's own dead child, waste, and dirt. It's very dirty and that's why we can't eat it. ( Also because the blood will never be fully filtered out).


Awhhh lol- I used to have the EXACT same problem with music. It's hard to resist especially when those songs with a rlllyyy good beat come on. My story short: I used to listen to music aswell, but what I noticed is that I would eventually get tired of it sooner and then go off feeling kind of depressed after I was done listening. But I still went back when i was bored. Why? Because we humans have the tendency to daydream. And music adds the perfect mood and scene. But when you're satisfied and begin to get bored it makes you realize that the stuff didn't really happen and it makes us- idk- "ugh". That leads to being ungrateful and not appreciating what God has Blessed us with already.

Listen to as little music as you can and slowly pull yourself to a stop. Some people use it for emotional outlet. ( But Shaytan just really makes you feel worse and therefore leads you to more sin. OR he makes you feel better by forgetting, but next time something related to the problem strikes, because you didn't properly deal with the problem you will become angry again). So INSTEAD- go for a walk. Workout on your punching bag. Get me?

May Allah Bless you and help you succeed and become happy and good.

Salam

 

[Gambino]

Thank you for all the answers.

Rightpath, you sound very modern and know what im going through.
Im also in canada so, there is so much going on that it is hard to stop.
I think my first step is to read the full quran. I have tried before but
Usually had never gone pass first 10 pages.

Restaurants are the worst. With all th tempting dishes that are non halal
It is soo very hard to not get it.

 

[Tabassum07]

:salam2:

I just wanted to point out to the above comment to the sister that muslims can be modern while still staying within the halal. Being a muslim does not in any way mean that we become backward and uneducated. Being a muslim broadens our horizons and opens our minds.

Reading the Quran's translation should be a good starting point for you, brother. Read a few pages at a time, and try to ponder its meaning.

 

[Ershad]

:salam2:

I just wanted to point out to the above comment to the sister that muslims can be modern while still staying within the halal. Being a muslim does not in any way mean that we become backward and uneducated. Being a muslim broadens our horizons and opens our minds.

Reading the Quran's translation should be a good starting point for you, brother. Read a few pages at a time, and try to ponder its meaning.

Salaam to all!

Yes, I agree with the point made my the sister. Qur'an was written for all ages and all times - be it past or present or future. That is why it is so complete and perfect. It is valid for all generations. Qur'an speaks about everything that which people consider modern principles like Women's rights or civilization or importance of knowledge etc. So, in fact, Qur'an is also modern, in the sense it is applicable to current situation.

So, we should never feel backward or ancient following Qur'an.

Jazakallahu Khair! May Allah guide you in right path!

 

[kashif_nazeer]

Assalamu alykum,
Dear brother welcome to the forum.I congratulate you on your fasting and may Allah accept it.Ameen.
Brother,the first step towards improvement is acknowledgement of the fact that we are sinning and making a mistake and MashaAllah you have reached that step as Allah says in the Qur'an.This stage is called 'nafs al awwama' or the self blaming soul and Allah swears by it and says "And I swear by the reproaching soul [to the certainty of resurrection]."(75:2)
Now we must move to next step that is repentance,Prophet Muhammad used to say,"Every son of Adam sins,but the best of those who sins are the ones who repent."[Tirmidhi]
Next after accepting it we must try to stop ourselves from every evil thoughts that occur.The moment these thoughts come to your mind,seek refuge in Allah,say ,"audhubillahi min ash-shaytaan irrajeem which means "I seek refuge in Allah from satan accursed"
Also brother there is a formula in the Qur'an to avoid anything that's bad, be it thoughts or actions or anything.Read this formula carefully:

And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; Surah Fussilat verse 34

So whenever any evil thought assaults your mind or you are tempted to do any evil just remember this verse and repell it with a good deeds.Think of any 10 good deeds you can do in place of this 1 evil deed,it could be doing dhikr,reciting Qur'an,offering salah,studying,helping someone,talking to your father or your mother with love,giving charity etc.Just repell it with anything that's good

Most importantly,we youths of today face another problem due to which we succumb to sins,BAD COMPANY.
Prophet used to say that company is like smell that accompanies a person.If it's good company the person smells good,if it's bad then that person smells bad.(analogically).So dont be a stinky kid
Have the company of good people,good muslims preferrably,who are practicing.If you cant find one near you,just stick to your dad and this website,we are your brothers in here Hazrat Umar(may Allah be pleased with him) used to say,"Lonliness is better than a bad companion."
Avoid places where you can encounter sins,like res truants you mentioned,unless necessary.

Music is haraam dear brother and there is wisdom behind it.When a person listens to music,it hardens a persons heart.Due to this hardenng of heart,when Qur'an is recited there is no effect of it on a person's heart.It deviates one from Allah's remembrance.Read more about why music is haraam here >> http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=55522&highlight=music+haram

This is one more link I hope you will benefit from inshaAllah >> http://kalamullah.com/

Another piece of advice is ,get busy and avoid being alone,it is said that ,an empty mind is a devil's workshop.So don't keep it empty,be as busy as possible
Try fasting from time to time brother it will be really benefical for you inshaAllah.
There is hijaab for both men and women,hijaab of heart,thoughhts and eyes.Try to avoid thoughts and nip them in the bud as they start.Try to lower your gaze as it orders us men in the Qur'an to lower our gaze when we see a woman,instead of "checking them out".

Whatever you do,always be conscious that Allah is watching,Allah is seeing,Allah knows.

May Allah help us and guide us.Ameen

wasalam

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

I think you'll be ok.

I do have a question for you. You are concerned about being modern. Think for a moment. The most revolutionary of minds belonged to the Prophet, may the and blessings of Allah be upon him. Can you understand this?

 

[Perseveranze]

Read this brother, understand your deen, have love for it and build your imaan. It will make things alot easier for you to follow - http://www.towards-understanding-islam.com/

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Thank you for all the answers.

Rightpath, you sound very modern and know what im going through.
Im also in canada so, there is so much going on that it is hard to stop.
I think my first step is to read the full quran. I have tried before but
Usually had never gone pass first 10 pages.

Restaurants are the worst. With all th tempting dishes that are non halal
It is soo very hard to not get it.

Asalmaoalaikom wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu. . .

May I just ask, What's with being modern and sins?

One can be modern without sinning. Not praying, not reciting the Quraan, eating non halaal, drinks and immodest behaviour, since when does all this define being "modern"?

My first advice to you would be, work on your "thinking". You seem to equate following Islaam to being backward. And that the first greatest misconception and Biggest problem you have.

As for your problems, they are not new. Many members here were more "modern" (modern as per your definition) than you. They tried, Allaah made it easy for them, they changed and are happy Alhumdulillah.

P.S. start your posts with the "salams"~ get modern!

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Sister,

As you have suggested to the young brother to start his posts with salaam, please do the same.

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Assalaam walaikum,

Sister,

As you have suggested to the young brother to start his posts with salaam, please do the same.

Wa alaykum wa rahamtullahi wa barakaatuhu . .

Jazakallah khair Aapa, I actually added that sentence later and didn't realize I typed it above my salam.

 

[Asja]

Assalamu allaicumwa raahmatullah wa baarakatuhu dear brother

May Allah help you dear brother in your worries and in your faith. Ameen ya rabby

Dear brother do not forget that we as Muslims should never forget that Allah is The Most Mercyfull and that He hears every dua that we make and even if we do make some sins, if we make honest tawba to Allah with condition to never repeat the same sins again, Allah will forgive us.

And as you said dear brother that you have honest faith in Allah subhan wa teala and hold it in your heart, you should only continue making duas that Allah guide you to right path of Islam,and with your sabur, Allah will accept your duas. We as Muslims shoud never forget that our Rabb never leave us and more duas we make, we can hope more that Allah will help us.

And also dear brother, you can use your time in reeding Quran and thinking about words of Allah and His advices for us, the Sirah of our Prophet sallahu alayha wa salam, his Sahabhas raddiAllahu anhum and life of Prophets before him, because words of Allah our the best cure and guider for our hearts,and our Prophet is the best example which we can follow as Muslims.

May Allah help you brother to have deep and strong faith in Him,because if we have honest faith in Allah, it is much easier for us to practise all parts of our deen Islam.

And as you are already member on our benefical Islamic site " Turn to Islam", I advice you to please read some usefull and good Islamic articles here.

MashAllah, this site is very good in learning about Islam dear brother,and Inshallah with help of Allah you will learn a loot here and clear all your doubts and questions about Islam which you do not understand well.

May Allah guide you and help you.

 

[Taufeeq salfi]

Assalamu alaikum brother, if u really want change yourself then just read the quran, not for sawab but for understand. You must have to read about jahannam(hell) and jannah(paradise) and know about the punishments for the sins which looks small but they are really big..
Salamu alaikum.

 

[esperanza]

Asalmaoalaikom wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu. . .

May I just ask, What's with being modern and sins?

One can be modern without sinning. Not praying, not reciting the Quraan, eating non halaal, drinks and immodest behaviour, since when does all this define being "modern"?

My first advice to you would be, work on your "thinking". You seem to equate following Islaam to being backward. And that the first greatest misconception and Biggest problem you have.

As for your problems, they are not new. Many members here were more "modern" (modern as per your definition) than you. They tried, Allaah made it easy for them, they changed and are happy Alhumdulillah.

P.S. start your posts with the "salams"~ get modern!

your so true,,,why so many born muslims are seeing being faithful as backward..this is so sad,,,and yet new reverts are turning from modern life,,,,to find the answer in islam

sadly there are cases of this right across the arab world,,,,especially among young people....

i live in one of major Islamic countries,,, and have taught girls from 15 to 30 and above...and sadly the number who are living a real islamic life,,,,is greatly outnumbered,,,by those who cling to modern life..fashion ..music...chatting ..staying up all night,,,,,

i think some muslims should actually look at some western muslims and see how they face every challenge just to live thier faith

yet many born muslims turn away from thier faith attracted by "modern"western life,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::