DEPRESSED>>>WHAT CAN I DO

E

esperanza

revert of many years
Just one week since Ramadan finished and ifind myself sinking back into depression

during Ramadan itried to stay calm to focus on fasting prayer reading quran,,,but now ifind it hard to keep[ calm

in the last years many things happend which have shaken my life and eomtionally deeply affected me ,and my health issuffering too,im stressed ,dont sleep,often get sick,,,

some things happpened to me ,others peoples actions which affected my life,other things my own fault,my own mistakes which affected me deeply

now ifind myself sitll sinking into periods of deep depression sadness confusion

i have dealt wiht many of the issues,,,but istill feel i have lost my way in this world,sometimes idont know myself and dont know how to live my life

i joined this site,becasue i really need a place like this,as my faith has also weakened in this time
but at the same time...when i see some of the brothers and sisters here ..it makes mere reliase my weaknesses,,,ifeel ashamed..i have been a\revert for 20 years..but some here new reverts or for short time have such strong faith are so commited and trying with such effort to lead a good life
sometimes ijust feel like a failure
asometimes ifeel icant continue living where iam and the way iam
i live in an islamiccountry,,,i have a family hamdilla....
but at same time ifeel so lost
and feel im in a crossroads in my life

...........................................dont know what to do
 
E

esperanza

revert of many years
thas the problem...here is not a place where its easy to be socially active..i really think thats what ineed in life to be able to help others....but how????
 
hayat84

hayat84

I'm not what you believe
:salam2:
sister,your account name is Esperanza,so it's the hopeness,what a beautiful name!I understand your feeling.what brings you down?are you disappointed for something?it doesn't matter from how long you're reverted.Allah knows what's in your heart,even if you feel so sad...
if you can't become socially active,and you have none to talk with,try to make a walk out of home,sit down on the grass or in a place in which you could contemplate the silence,then take your Quran and start reading it loudly,like if you would make somebody to hear your voice.then you'd feel better after few minutes.always keep the "kalimatu llah" with you and it will raise up your humour:SMILY252:
 
E

esperanza

revert of many years
hayat84 said:
:salam2:
sister,your account name is Esperanza,so it's the hopeness,what a beautiful name!I understand your feeling.what brings you down?are you disappointed for something?it doesn't matter from how long you're reverted.Allah knows what's in your heart,even if you feel so sad...
if you can't become socially active,and you have none to talk with,try to make a walk out of home,sit down on the grass or in a place in which you could contemplate the silence,then take your Quran and start reading it loudly,like if you would make somebody to hear your voice.then you'd feel better after few minutes.always keep the "kalimatu llah" with you and it will raise up your humour:SMILY252:
Click to expand...

SHUKRAN SISTER..
THANK YOU
iwish it is so simple ican just go out go for a walk in quiet peqaceful place..even that is not so easy,,,but iwill try........inshallah
 
BADTASTEBEARS

BADTASTEBEARS

Fear Allah
Assalamualaikum

Sister, take one day at a time. It'll be a lot more easier. Do what you're supposed to on that day and make each day counts. Whether your obligatory acts to Allah or to other human beings.

Once you've mastered the 'take one day at a time', you could try practicing a so-called take ' each salat at a time'. That is, between a prayer and the next prayer. Make every second counts. Do not at any moment displease Allah. Even if you have, ask a great deal of forgiveness.

And lastly, if possible, take one hour at a time. Try it, at the end of the day you'll feel a sense of ease with yourself and especially with Allah.

Just my 2cents. Its from experience.
 
P

Precious Star

Junior Member
I know this is really a hard time for you, as I am feeling the same way. I had hoped that at the end of Ramadan I would be stronger, but the old hurts are still keeping me down.

I firmly believe that healing will happen eventually. You just have to keep trying your best.

1. See a counsellor.
2. Take vitamins and Omega-3's
3. If you can't sleep, try melatonin, and over-the-counter natural sleep agent. Eliminate caffeine from your diet, including tea, coffee and coke.
4. Keep up with your prayers and dua.
5. Do you have a trusted friend or family member whom you can call when you are really really down and need to release? If not, there are online resources that may help, some online support groups.
6. I'm not a big advocate of anti-depressants, but I've been told that they do help people see more clearly opportunities for life involvment where otherwise this was not possible. Speak to your doctor about a mild anti-depressant. If not, try St.John's wort, which is a herbal anti-depressant.
7. Exercise, exercise, exercise. Excercise changes brain chemistry. Try something new that you haven't tried before.

Honestly sister, you have nothing to lose in pursuing the steps above. To be honest, they haven't helped me 100%, but, I know I would be worse off if I didn't do them. Everyone has their own timeline for healing. Your's might be years, but in the meantime you have to keep marching forward and hope that eventually the cloud will lift.
 
V

Vitamin C

New Member
assalam aleykum sister....

DO NOT DESPAIR.... ALLAH IS OFT FORGIVING ND MERCIFUL...

seek forgivenez 4m Allah...inshallah u'll find peace...
concernin' otherz fault...verily Allah is well-acquainted With all that ye do. (The Noble Quran, 4:135)" ...trust Allah n leave them 2 thr accountz...

i wud advice u 2...recite morning evening supplications with meaningz...
glorify allah often...
also recite d supplicationz for worry n grief...
diz helped mi wenenva i felt low...

may allah ease all ur worriez...aamen
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

Sister,

Simply make dua to Allah that He give you the door to do good deeds and believe that from the bottom of your heart.
 
P

Precious Star

Junior Member
Sister, heed everyone's advice about doing dua, but remember, its not a "simple" case of just doing dua. God does not alter your mind. He gives you resources and leaves it to you to be proactive.

Yes make dua but do other things to. If you were sick, you would go to the doctor, wouldn't you? If you needed a job, you would prepare a c.v. and then apply to various employers, wouldn't you?

Dua plus practical steps is what works.
 
yasak80

yasak80

Junior Member
esperanza assalamu aleykum,

ayathal kursi , nas, falak surat can be usefull also fatihah
always read ayaths of Quran. So angels will be around you:blackhijab:

Allah hear us and knows our needs
I will pray for you ...

We should live because Allah wanted us to live as a slave..
Dont be dissapointed for anything happend to you...
dont blame others or you... If Allah doesnt allow something happen no body can make it happen , If Allah wants something happen , no body can stop it.
 
E

esperanza

revert of many years
BADTASTEBEARS said:
Assalamualaikum

Sister, take one day at a time. It'll be a lot more easier. Do what you're supposed to on that day and make each day counts. Whether your obligatory acts to Allah or to other human beings.

Once you've mastered the 'take one day at a time', you could try practicing a so-called take ' each salat at a time'. That is, between a prayer and the next prayer. Make every second counts. Do not at any moment displease Allah. Even if you have, ask a great deal of forgiveness.

And lastly, if possible, take one hour at a time. Try it, at the end of the day you'll feel a sense of ease with yourself and especially with Allah.

Just my 2cents. Its from experience.
Click to expand...

thanks for your advice,,,,,sounds reslly wise..ill try inshalla
 
E

esperanza

revert of many years
Precious Star said:
I know this is really a hard time for you, as I am feeling the same way. I had hoped that at the end of Ramadan I would be stronger, but the old hurts are still keeping me down.

I firmly believe that healing will happen eventually. You just have to keep trying your best.

1. See a counsellor.
2. Take vitamins and Omega-3's
3. If you can't sleep, try melatonin, and over-the-counter natural sleep agent. Eliminate caffeine from your diet, including tea, coffee and coke.
4. Keep up with your prayers and dua.
5. Do you have a trusted friend or family member whom you can call when you are really really down and need to release? If not, there are online resources that may help, some online support groups.
6. I'm not a big advocate of anti-depressants, but I've been told that they do help people see more clearly opportunities for life involvment where otherwise this was not possible. Speak to your doctor about a mild anti-depressant. If not, try St.John's wort, which is a herbal anti-depressant.
7. Exercise, exercise, exercise. Excercise changes brain chemistry. Try something new that you haven't tried before.

Honestly sister, you have nothing to lose in pursuing the steps above. To be honest, they haven't helped me 100%, but, I know I would be worse off if I didn't do them. Everyone has their own timeline for healing. Your's might be years, but in the meantime you have to keep marching forward and hope that eventually the cloud will lift.
Click to expand...

shukran sister,

1. i tiried a counsellor..was not what ineeded or did not help
2. vitamins - definitely ineed
3. have tried natural sleep remedies,,,even those dont help much
4. yes prayers and dua..must be more attentive
5. do not have really anyone close ican trust or can understand me
6. iwas presribed anti depressants but am scared to becone addicted
7.exercise..definitely definnitely must do

thank you must resally try to make changes inshalla...:tti_sister:
 
sachin4islam

sachin4islam

Junior Member
Assalamu Alaikum: Sis.

It is the same story in most cases for reverts,including me. Only Allah is the healer.

Regards.
 
I

IHearIslam

make dua 4 ma finals
esperanza said:
Just one week since Ramadan finished and ifind myself sinking back into depression

during Ramadan itried to stay calm to focus on fasting prayer reading quran,,,but now ifind it hard to keep[ calm

in the last years many things happend which have shaken my life and eomtionally deeply affected me ,and my health issuffering too,im stressed ,dont sleep,often get sick,,,

some things happpened to me ,others peoples actions which affected my life,other things my own fault,my own mistakes which affected me deeply

now ifind myself sitll sinking into periods of deep depression sadness confusion

i have dealt wiht many of the issues,,,but istill feel i have lost my way in this world,sometimes idont know myself and dont know how to live my life

i joined this site,becasue i really need a place like this,as my faith has also weakened in this time
but at the same time...when i see some of the brothers and sisters here ..it makes mere reliase my weaknesses,,,ifeel ashamed..i have been a\revert for 20 years..but some here new reverts or for short time have such strong faith are so commited and trying with such effort to lead a good life
sometimes ijust feel like a failure
asometimes ifeel icant continue living where iam and the way iam
i live in an islamiccountry,,,i have a family hamdilla....
but at same time ifeel so lost
and feel im in a crossroads in my life

...........................................dont know what to do
Click to expand...

Assalaamu alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh my dear sister in Islam,

One of my psychology teacher ones said that depression is all about how one sees him/herself. It is about how you see yourself when you look at the mirror. I went through a phase of it back in high school and yea it was at the very years I started practicing Islam. I certainly believe that it's one of the weapons of Shaytan.....but then again, that is just my belief:p

do you sometimes feel like you cannot do enough for Allah?
That all your deeds are going to waste just because you think you will not be forgiven for the wrong you did?
do you think that you cant repent anymore?
Do you feel that you akhirah is ruined because of the choices you make in this dunya?<--------------- if yes---This is what I call the depression of Imaan.....we're so deprived of it that we tend despair of Allah's mercy. I would certainly advice you to get in touch with the local sisters....start attending halaqas (gatherings), do volunteering at a local Islamic school (trust me its a great way to meet other sisters), and finally just go to the masjid often. The depression tends to worsen when we're alone and all we have is our negative thoughts. Ones you go out there.....your faith will blossom! You just need a little support and insha'Allah you're good to go.

Also, if this does not help, then I'd advice you to immediately go see a therapist. We might have one on this forum;) So, get in touch with one.....


But most of all remember that Allah ta'ala.....the mighty and the majestic LOVES you so much!! So, never EVER despair of his mercy, of his forgiveness and of his kindness! call Him, make dua to him and keep on doing that without EVER losing hope!

I :SMILY252: YOU and all my Muslim sisters for Allah's sake.....
may Allah make us strong Muslimahs!! ameen
 
M

mezeren

Junior Member
You are not the only one...

:salam2:

Sister, if it makes you feel better, you are not the only one who deal with the hardships of this life. We are all human and as long as we live we face these tests.

Even when you feel you hit the bottom, do not despair Allah's mercy. Do not loose your hope.

My advise in such situations, never neglect the fard ibadah and pray Allah for help and beleive that it will be better sooner or later with the favour of Allah.

May Allah give all muslims happiness in this world and hereafter.
 
E

esperanza

revert of many years
*AmatuAllah4lyf* said:
Assalaamu alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh my dear sister in Islam,

One of my psychology teacher ones said that depression is all about how one sees him/herself. It is about how you see yourself when you look at the mirror. I went through a phase of it back in high school and yea it was at the very years I started practicing Islam. I certainly believe that it's one of the weapons of Shaytan.....but then again, that is just my belief:p

do you sometimes feel like you cannot do enough for Allah?
That all your deeds are going to waste just because you think you will not be forgiven for the wrong you did?
do you think that you cant repent anymore?
Do you feel that you akhirah is ruined because of the choices you make in this dunya?<--------------- if yes---This is what I call the depression of Imaan.....we're so deprived of it that we tend despair of Allah's mercy. I would certainly advice you to get in touch with the local sisters....start attending halaqas (gatherings), do volunteering at a local Islamic school (trust me its a great way to meet other sisters), and finally just go to the masjid often. The depression tends to worsen when we're alone and all we have is our negative thoughts. Ones you go out there.....your faith will blossom! You just need a little support and insha'Allah you're good to go.

Also, if this does not help, then I'd advice you to immediately go see a therapist. We might have one on this forum;) So, get in touch with one.....


But most of all remember that Allah ta'ala.....the mighty and the majestic LOVES you so much!! So, never EVER despair of his mercy, of his forgiveness and of his kindness! call Him, make dua to him and keep on doing that without EVER losing hope!

I :SMILY252: YOU and all my Muslim sisters for Allah's sake.....
may Allah make us strong Muslimahs!! ameen
Click to expand...

dear sister..thank you for your advice,,,,,yes your right its being alone and thinking makes me more depressed...
actually i live in an islamic country...which is a good thing,,but there are not really sisters proups avaialble for reverts or islamic schools..every school is islamic..but not really any community things ican get inovlved in...
and those born muslims around me cant really understand so much what im going through,,,,
but thank you so much,,,,and imust try to make as much DUA as possible and turn to Allah for help inshalla,,,,,,,,,,,,,:tti_sister:
 
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