Dua vs. No Dua

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

I am not making any assumptions about what you do. I am strongly suggesting that we do not make judgments. This is not a thread about the divisions in Islam.

The foremost act of worship is salat. I am not going to debate this. We are not discussing the other pillars of faith. Stick to the subject. We are discussing dua. It is beyond the prescribed mandatory salat. There is no debate here.

There was no reason to bring Shia into this discussion. It is unnecessary. Should you wish to discuss the Shia and dua by all means open up a discussion. Let us limit our discussion to dua and learn what we can.

Yes, we are encouraged to make dua. But dua can not be legislated. How on earth can you force anyone to make dua? That comes directly from the heart. If it is not from the heart it is empty.

Think of this, salat is the doorway to dua. There are different states of dua.

Do not get stuck on this is worship and this is not worship. Do not get stuck on this person's worship counts and this person's worship is worthless. That is dangerous territory.

We are told to guard our worship. If you really want to get technical being a Believer is worshiping. Faith is not technical. Do not put it in a nice little box.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

NO, sister. Every morning when I wake up I pray that I am saved from evil and am grateful to be alive. I count my blessings.

I am not worshiping Allah when I take food to the food bank. Heaven forbid. I am ashamed that I can not do more.

Faith is not linear so black and white leave meaning. Why limit faith. Why demand a reward for prayer.

Worship is a blessing it and by itself. The reward is prayer and dua.

And I am confused, sister. One of the best things in life is to learn that you can follow all the rules, do all the right stuff and it ain't enough


Oh..well. That is when faith starts and all the rules change. Leave the decision to Allah as to what is best for you. Sister, let me be real...could you handle having a baby crying with no milk in the refrigerator and no husband to bring the money..could you run out in the middle of the night and beg the grocery store clerk to take your gold bracelet until the next day, knowing you are scared to put the key in the ignition because you may not have enough gas in the car.

That is when dua gets real. It is not crying on your pillow wishing. It is not worrying about Shia.

I need to log off.

 

[Um Ibrahim]

Assalaam walaikum,

I am not making any assumptions about what you do. I am strongly suggesting that we do not make judgments. This is not a thread about the divisions in Islam.

The foremost act of worship is salat. I am not going to debate this. We are not discussing the other pillars of faith. Stick to the subject. We are discussing dua. It is beyond the prescribed mandatory salat. There is no debate here.

There was no reason to bring Shia into this discussion. It is unnecessary. Should you wish to discuss the Shia and dua by all means open up a discussion. Let us limit our discussion to dua and learn what we can.

Yes, we are encouraged to make dua. But dua can not be legislated. How on earth can you force anyone to make dua? That comes directly from the heart. If it is not from the heart it is empty.

Think of this, salat is the doorway to dua. There are different states of dua.

Do not get stuck on this is worship and this is not worship. Do not get stuck on this person's worship counts and this person's worship is worthless. That is dangerous territory.

We are told to guard our worship. If you really want to get technical being a Believer is worshiping. Faith is not technical. Do not put it in a nice little box.

Yes you did make an assumption. What's the point in questioning me then if you were not making an assumption about me. And I already told you why I even mentioned shi'as, so there's no need for me to explain that again. Please provide proofs from the Qu'ran and sunnah for the things you claim I don't need to only read your opinions. Everyone has opinions. Where is your proof that du'a IS NOT worship?

in closing, I leave you with this ayah:
And who is more astray than one who calls (invokes) besides Allah, such as will not answer him till the Day of Resurrection, and who are (even) unaware of their calls (invocations) to them? And when mankind are gathered (on the Day of Resurrection), they (false deities) will become enemies for them and will deny their worshiping. (Al-Ahqaf 46:6)

 

[Aapa]

Asalaam walaikum,

I think it is an issue of language.

1. This is not about Shia.
2. This is not about salat.
3. Dua is the most intimate form of communication with Allah. It is the intimacy of dua that lends to our spirituality.
4. I never asked you to explain anything. I suggested you start a new discussion.
5. You are the one who wants to delineate worship and decide who and who can not worship.
6. What does that ayat have to do with dua. It in inherent in this discussion that everyone is making dua. Everyone is calling upon Allah.

 

[Um Ibrahim]

Asalaam walaikum,

I think it is an issue of language.

1. This is not about Shia.
2. This is not about salat.
3. Dua is the most intimate form of communication with Allah. It is the intimacy of dua that lends to our spirituality.
4. I never asked you to explain anything. I suggested you start a new discussion.
5. You are the one who wants to delineate worship and decide who and who can not worship.
6. What does that ayat have to do with dua. It in inherent in this discussion that everyone is making dua. Everyone is calling upon Allah.

That ayah has everything to do with what we are talking about. And no I don't need to start a new discussion. You keep coming back to shi'a yourself, I only gave one example having to do with DU'A no need to keep repeating yourself and saying the same thing over and over again. To be honest you seem to not tolerate anyone who presents a different view from yours. You insist and tell me that this is what it is, and I disagree with you, that's just that. I gave you that ayah because it is indeed talking about du'a and worship. Just look at Surah fatiha, half of that sura is making du'a to Allah which we do in salaat when we are worshipping Allah. I'm trying to give you proofs from the Qu'ran that Du'a is indeed worship, but you have still yet to give me one ayah or hadith to support your opinion. Any how, this is clearly turning into just useless argument so InshaaAllah I will not be responding to you anymore. May Allah forgive me if I've said anything which is not correct, Allahuma Amin.

:salam2:

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

You have not understood anything I have written. You responded in pink font. That lets me know many things. Adult women and mature women do not write in pink. Do you not understand this attitude of I'm not responding anymore because you write what I don't like is not good. It is not good for wife material. Sister, come on now. You will read what I am writing. It's in black and white. Simple.

When Yunus was in the belly of the whale he cried out to Allah. What is a better example of dua. What you fail to understand is dua is beyond the prescribed worship. It is the act of total submission. I have written that so many times. You are stuck on semantics.

I am not playing a semantic game with you. This is not a paper to be graded or cut and paste argument. There comes a point in life when you do not need proof. You live life. As the adage states..the proof is in the pudding.

Make it real sister. Make it real. Recall a time when you had nothing to hold onto but Allah. Not a soul to help you. Not a person to call. And you cry with tears streaming down your breasts, your knees shaking, your body quivering and you call out for the Love and Mercy of Allah.

If you had not adhered to the faith and read your Quran, and made salat, and read hadeeth, and fasted and given zakat..could you really have called out to Allah.

So no, you do not need to respond nor read. But this was as real as it gets.

 

[kashif_nazeer]

:salam2:

Sister,honestly,I cannot feel what it feels like to make dua for a long time but they are not answered,(Hazrat Adam asked Allah for forgiveness and that he be united with Hawwa,it was after a long time it was granted)but I can relate to you a hadith and I hope you benefit from it,inshaAllah:

“Allah `azza wa jall said: ‘Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by being inflicted with poverty, and were I to enrich him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by wealth and affluence, and were I to deprive him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by good health, and were I to make him sick, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by disease and illness, and were I to make him healthy, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he who seeks worship by a certain act but I prevent that from him so that self-amazement does not enter his heart. Certainly, I run the affairs of My slaves by My Knowledge of what is in their hearts. Certainly, I am the All-Knower, All-Aware’.” [Tabarani]

So whatever Allah does is for ourown good,He does it because He doesn't want to get lost and get far away from Him.So there is khayr in everything. The unanswered prayer which brings us closer to Allah is better than getting a thing being asked for,maybe that thing might have prevented us from the way of Allah.Allah knows and we know not.

Also,when we ask something from Allah,we should keep in mind that will it bring us closer to Allah or not.I mean we should ask a thing not only for our nafs,like our desires but our desires should be intertwined with the pleasure of Allah.For ultimate aim of our lives is to worship Allah.Like it says in Surah Al Baqarah in translation:

And when you have completed your rites, remember Allah like your [previous] remembrance of your fathers or with [much] greater remembrance. And among the people is he who says, "Our Lord, give us in this world," and he will have in the Hereafter no share.

But among them is he who says, "Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire."
Those will have a share of what they have earned, and Allah is swift in account.[2:200-202]

We wonder why some people who pray less or are not so "religious",get things so easily,even without asking,the answer is in the Qur'an Surah Baqarah itself (translation)

Beautified for those who disbelieve is the life of this world, and they ridicule those who believe. But those who fear Allah are above them on the Day of Resurrection. And Allah gives provision to whom He wills without account.[2:212]

And we get shaken by the tests,but I know it's hard to be patient,but maybe something we ask for might not be good for us and it might lead to a bad end.An end feared by those who believe.
Whatever we desire or yearn or long for,we should always keep in mind,that will this bring me closer to Allah,for if it does not bring us close to Allah,it is of NO USE.
Allah is ArRazzaq and He grants to whom He wills and He is The Might The Wise.
Maybe our desire for a thing would blind us from the ultimate purpose of life and ultimate destination,so we should never forget these two things:
1)Our purpose in life.
2)Our destination.
For,if we remain concsious of this fact,nothing in this world can hurt us,or even if we are hurt it will increase us in iman and get us closer to Allah as a hurt of a believer is an expiation of sins,even if it were pricking of a thron.
So be patient sister,be strong and Allah is with the patient and the muttaqeen.
May Allah be with you in this world and the hereafter.Ameen.

 

[ditta]

As-salaamu'Alaykum wa'Rahmatullaah,

(This is annoying, I was typing out a response and I lost it because I accidentally closed the tab so I will have to type it out again and I don't know how well I will be able to express what I had already said).

Firstly, what brother ‘islamirama’ posted shows there are two Types of Du’aa’:

Type I: Du'a al-mas'alah, or the 'du'a of asking.' This type of du'a is when one asks for the fulfillment of a need, or that some harm be removed from him/her. An example would be when a person asks, "O God! Grant me good in this world, and good in the next life!"

Type II: Du'a al-'ibadah, or the 'du'a of worship.' This type of du'a represents a very broad concept. In Islam, every single act of worship includes this type of du'a. Examples would include when a Muslim prays salat or gives zakaat or fasts.

Now we have focused on Type One. Sister ‘Ni’mah’ you are right that when me make Du’aa’ asking Allah we have to make sure we are only calling upon Him with nobody in the middle. Sadly some people call upon others in order that Allah will answer their supplication (i.e., thinking that the likelihood of it being answered is increased). I think the question and answers below are helpful regarding this:

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/3297/

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/979/

When one remembers what the pious predecessors have said regarding the importance of asking Allah and asking Him Alone then I think the book by Shaykh al-Albaani ‘Tawassul and its types’ is helpful too. We ask Allah to help us, seek His aid and guidance every day when reciting Soorah al-Faatiha. Therefore it is something personal because without Allah's guidance we are lost and when in dire circumstances our Need for Allah is apparent (our natural instinct). I hope this helps Insha’Allaah and with this important point noted I think the discussion can move forward.

Secondly, Jazaaka’Allaahu Khayr to what brother kashif_nazeer has added. I think Sister Precious Star this is a continuation of that thread ‘Don’t Lose Hope’. The points in there are alluded to by brother kashif_nazeer here. Therefore I will not simply copy and paste replies from there.

Rather as you have been frank, sister, so will I. The situation of your brother is not too different to my second eldest brother (i.e., he moved away, lived in dire circumstances initially and then established himself with an excellent income and home thanks to Allah. Now with most South Asian families (I assume) it is expected that one will marry from back home or at least in the network. This wasn’t going to happen due to the long time that had elapsed. He also has a partner who is a non-Muslim and expecting their first. When I compare how well everyone has done then my second eldest has been the most successful despite ‘appearing’ to be non-practicing. However only Allah knows, he could have beseeched Allah with sincerity and a pure heart, asking Him alone for his needs (I don't know), because Allah responds to such a supplicant when in dire circumstances, Subhaan’Allaah He granted Shaytaan respite till the Day of Resurrection! I don’t mean to say I or my other brothers have not been successful, on the contrary, Allah has blessed us with so much, there are too many to mention although I can recall situations where what you are saying could have applied there and even one time where the opposite is true (i.e., why doesn't the person just ask Allah for their need instead of placing hope in objects that cannot respond or have power and Allah knows best, when the person beseeched Allah with a pure heart, Allah responded).

Remember though and I think sometimes, I hope in Allah that I am not receiving all my rewards in this world and nothing in the Hereafter. That is something to truly fear, being poor in the Hereafter. Only Allah knows but someone could be receiving their rewards in this life and then in the Hereafter they could have nothing. Allah has blessed you to be able to worship Him (prayer, fasting, zakaat), not associating partners with Him and that is something to be thankful for because of the rewards, may Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta’aala) make us amongst the people that receive ample rewards in this world and the Hereafter. Ameen.

The way that the pious predecessors called upon Allah Alone for their needs shows how they ensured they asked Allah in the correct manner, at the best times and avoided those acts that could mean the Du’aa’ not being answered. The ‘Don’t Lose Hope’ thread mentions a couple of these points. I don’t mean to say that you are not doing this sister Precious Star rather it is directed to myself first as a lesson to learn from. A person’s Du’aa’ is always answered although its response differs as brother kashif_nazeer stated, the wisdom behind it only Allah knows, but often later one realises the wisdom, thanks to Allah.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Brother,

I appreciate your responses. They are so clear.

How Great is Allah that He gives us so many ways to reach Him. Just thinking that He wants us to reach Him brings tears to my eyes.

He has told us what He has waiting for Us.

Dua is yet another Wonder of His that we can not deny.

MashaAllah.

 

[Precious Star]

Assalaam walaikum,

NO, sister. Every morning when I wake up I pray that I am saved from evil and am grateful to be alive. I count my blessings.

I am not worshiping Allah when I take food to the food bank. Heaven forbid. I am ashamed that I can not do more.
Sister, let me be real...could you handle having a baby crying with no milk in the refrigerator and no husband to bring the money..could you run out in the middle of the night and beg the grocery store clerk to take your gold bracelet until the next day, knowing you are scared to put the key in the ignition because you may not have enough gas in the car.

That is when dua gets real. It is not crying on your pillow wishing. .

sister, I am confused. What do you mean when you say "No" ? and "I am not worshipping Allah when I take food to the food bank. Heaven forbid."

Heaven forbid?

Let me clarify something. When I wrote above, with genuine honesty, that when I give in charity to the food bank I feel I am worshipping Allah, it is not up to any person to say "Heaven forbid". Insha'Allah, it will be the opposite and Allah SWT include my actions in list of good deeds that will take me to Heaven.

Every ounce of good work that we do on this earth will be looked at favourably by Allah SWT. Maybe you will do more than me, maybe less, only Allah knows. But it is not up to anyone on this earth to pass judgement. That is reserved for Allah, and ONLY Allah.

My dua's are "real". True, they do not involve desperate pleas in the face of dire poverty. But perhaps you can give us more information on what constitutes a "real" dua.

Your comment that "crying on a pillow wishing" was extremely condescending. How do you know that Allah does not regard that as a form of beseeching to him? How do you know?

You've put the comment out there. Please expand.

By the way, my dua is just as real as your's.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

This is not personal. This is an opinion. How do we justify and make ourselves feel better by taking food/giving food to the poor.

The heaven forbid is me. How little I do for others. We are to give more and be less self-satisfied.

I think of the Sahaba and how they opened their homes. We are trying to strive to be better Muslims. We have to set standards for ourselves that are more stringent.

I am not passing judgment. I am stating that when we wake up we can not be demanding from Allah. We need to be thanking Allah.

My comment was not condescending. I am being real. When you wake up..you need to rejoice. You need to be thankful. He has given us the world today with the Promise of Paradise. What else do you want.

I did not say your dua was not real. I am trying to answer your questions.


Lets say this. Sister if you cover do you not think that dua would be more serious. Is it not true that the dua of a woman who covers is more genuine than that of one who does not cover. Our adherence to the faith at all times influences our dua. Does that make sense. In other words are you following the tenets of Islam 24/7.

You speak of wanting marriage and motherhood. Have there proposals that you turned down? What have been the signs that you ignored. I know I am being hard on you. I am not being judgmental. I wish the best for you from the bottom of my heart.

What I am saying is you have to do more to serve Allah. For starters, start with the hijab. Walk in tomorrow at your job with the hijab and be happy with that. Do not leave you house without it. You will see a difference.

 

[Precious Star]

Funny. It hit me like a ton of bricks today: in 3 months, I will be 41! And, I've never had a single proposal!

I remember on the eve of my 40th birthday last year, I cried and cried to my mother. She tried to soothe me and tell me not to worry, its not too late, everything will be ok, God will answer my prayers and her prayers soon.

But 9 months have passed! Can you believe it?

And nothing has changed.

I will be 41 in 3 months. Do you think it is realistic for me to expect that I will one day get married and have children? Am I now just grasping for straws?

 

[esperanza]

Funny. It hit me like a ton of bricks today: in 3 months, I will be 41! And, I've never had a single proposal!

I remember on the eve of my 40th birthday last year, I cried and cried to my mother. She tried to soothe me and tell me not to worry, its not too late, everything will be ok, God will answer my prayers and her prayers soon.

But 9 months have passed! Can you believe it?

And nothing has changed.

I will be 41 in 3 months. Do you think it is realistic for me to expect that I will one day get married and have children? Am I now just grasping for straws?

dear sister.. ifelt sad when i read your post about not being married,,, iguess as sommeone who has been long married,,, icant really understand how that must feel

but you must never give up hope...
everyones lives and circumstances are different,,,some marry early some late in life..some have many children some have none. some are happily married some have endless problems
..only Allah knows what is meant for us,,,,we can only ask him to guide us
in my husbands family some of his nieces were married at eighteen and by 25 houseful of young chlidren..others close to thirty not married,,,, thats pretty old in arab culture
your certainly not grasping for straws....we can find love and happiness at any age.

both my father and grandmother married for the third time at 50.....and said this was the greatest love( they are not muslim..but it just shows it can happen at any age)

so never give up hope..you dont know what each new day will bring

and ihope for you you find what your dreaming of inshalla

do you live in the west or in a muslim country???

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Asalamoalaikom wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,

As per Aapa's request.


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[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

OK...so I have been going crazy. I am still unemployed. I drove everyone crazy around me.

I volunteered to teach at the local masjid's girl school. How blessed I am. I get to run my mouth and teach my flowers of Islam. We have a blast. We pray together, too. I am having the time of my life with these young women. Not to worry, they are going to hire a teacher and I still get to have fun until they do.

Now, I have decided I am going to preach that no Muslim girl be left in public schools. Get ready USA.

It just so happened that I have run across a book on dua. How Allah sends down Knowledge is an answer to dua, initself.

What we need to do is focus on the etiquette of dua. As vital as dua is we need to understand the form and structure. I will post a couple of valuable rules and suggestions later today. This is for the Love of Allah.

Sister Seeking Allah's Mercy..the video brought tears to my eyes.

My sweet Precious Star...think of Sara. With Allah all is possible. Do you not know the number of brothers and sisters who make dua for you. Do you not think that with each salat I make I supplicate to Allah for you.

Now, I am going to be tough again. Sister, for the Fear of Allah, cover and make dua. Yeah...I am thinking niqab. It is going to take a couple more days for me to do it the first time..I am like so ready. Just a wee bit scared.

Brothers and sisters please post sound suggestions on dua to benefit our community.

 

[K-A-K]

Precious Star, you're truly precious. I have deep respect for you in my heart and i love you for Allah's sake. I lead a troubled life in the sense that i have many questions regarding life (other than that AlhamduLillah i have the best of things) and each night i think about things and gradually i drift off to sleep. Last night i read your post and i thought about you and cried.. i couldn't help but cry. I pray for you with all my heart and I will always have the sincerest respect for you. I admire your courage sister. and don't worry if it is in your destiny, you'll reach it. I have my dad's cousin who married at the age of 50. and the woman was around 45. so inshAllah, it will work out. I know it is easy for us to say so and hard for you to live it in person. But we all will pray for you inshAllah.

lots of love,
Waslaaam.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Do not cry for Precious Star.

We need to make dua that she learns to cover. That is the first step. Help me to make Precious Star understand how covering will be beneficial to her.

 

[Precious Star]

Precious Star, you're truly precious. I have deep respect for you in my heart and i love you for Allah's sake. I lead a troubled life in the sense that i have many questions regarding life (other than that AlhamduLillah i have the best of things) and each night i think about things and gradually i drift off to sleep. Last night i read your post and i thought about you and cried.. i couldn't help but cry. I pray for you with all my heart and I will always have the sincerest respect for you. I admire your courage sister. and don't worry if it is in your destiny, you'll reach it. I have my dad's cousin who married at the age of 50. and the woman was around 45. so inshAllah, it will work out. I know it is easy for us to say so and hard for you to live it in person. But we all will pray for you inshAllah.

lots of love,
Waslaaam.

Thank you KAK! You have a gentle heart and I will pray for you as well.

 

[Precious Star]

Assalaam walaikum,

Do not cry for Precious Star.

We need to make dua that she learns to cover. That is the first step. Help me to make Precious Star understand how covering will be beneficial to her.

Aapa, when did I indicate on TTI that I do not "cover"??? I don't recall saying that in any post on here. Please, refresh my memory.

 

[islamirama]

:salam2:


Have you tried getting involved in your community? going to halaqas, community volunteer, talking to the imam and sisters to see if they know anyone whose looking? Have you tried approaching someone yourself? I know it's a taboo in desi culture but islamically either side can propose to the other. college is also a good place to hunt a mate down when your studying but how about work, any decent Muslim guy there? Any relatives back home know of anyone or can help in any way?


Mosa(a.s) prayed this dua, and he was given a good wife a place to live and everything...

Fasaqa_ lahuma_ sum ma tawal la_ ilaz zil li faqa_la rab bi in ni lima_ anzalta ilay ya min hairin faqir Quran: (28:24)

http://quran.com/28

may Allah make it easy for all those singles out there looking to get married and bless them with righteous spouses. ameen.


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