ShahnazZ
Striving2BeAStranger
Salam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
I hope you're all in the best state of health and iman.
Last week, I attended my grandfather's janazah. Naturally, my mother's family had come together during this time and spent much of it in ibaadah. However, I could not help but feel frustrated at times when it seemed as if much of their ibaadah was based on cultural practice rather than the actual sunnah. What was worse was that these practices were promoted by supposedly religious relatives of mine who adhere to (what they believe to be) a strictly Islamic lifestyle and believe they are already following the sunnah. Thus, they believe that they are much well-versed in the deen than many of us.
There have been times where I've tried voicing my thoughts to them. However, due to the fact that A. they are my elders and B. they are the majority, my attempts are usually dismissed as irrelevant. I usually try to base things on daleel and if I ever question them doing the same, I'm referred to as "disrespectful" "zealous" and "aggressive". While I do agree that a gentler approach is best, much of my frustration stemmed from the fact that my own grandfather was the one who was being targeted by these practices.
Of course, after hanging onto giving them the benefit of the doubt, I would like to request daleel on the following practices/ideas:
1. The idea that Ramadan is a blessed time to pass away in and that as a result, the questioning of the grave becomes super easy and so does attaining Jannah.
2. Reciting the Quran and "sending" the associated hasanat to a dead person. Is this a form of sadaqa al-jaariya?
3. Throwing rose petals on grave and stating that it's ok to do so as long as it doesn't cause the grave to resemble a shrine. I reiterate: they are already aware that graves should not be decorated but they believe that that only applies to embellished decorations such as those of shrines and grave worship.
4. Men standing at the grave and reciting Quran over it, specifically surahs like al-Mulk and Yasin.
5. The idea that a loved one can't touch or kiss the dead individual prior to janazah and burial because it "hurts them" in some way.
Any clarification provided would be much appreciated. JazakAllah khair.
I hope you're all in the best state of health and iman.
Last week, I attended my grandfather's janazah. Naturally, my mother's family had come together during this time and spent much of it in ibaadah. However, I could not help but feel frustrated at times when it seemed as if much of their ibaadah was based on cultural practice rather than the actual sunnah. What was worse was that these practices were promoted by supposedly religious relatives of mine who adhere to (what they believe to be) a strictly Islamic lifestyle and believe they are already following the sunnah. Thus, they believe that they are much well-versed in the deen than many of us.
There have been times where I've tried voicing my thoughts to them. However, due to the fact that A. they are my elders and B. they are the majority, my attempts are usually dismissed as irrelevant. I usually try to base things on daleel and if I ever question them doing the same, I'm referred to as "disrespectful" "zealous" and "aggressive". While I do agree that a gentler approach is best, much of my frustration stemmed from the fact that my own grandfather was the one who was being targeted by these practices.
Of course, after hanging onto giving them the benefit of the doubt, I would like to request daleel on the following practices/ideas:
1. The idea that Ramadan is a blessed time to pass away in and that as a result, the questioning of the grave becomes super easy and so does attaining Jannah.
2. Reciting the Quran and "sending" the associated hasanat to a dead person. Is this a form of sadaqa al-jaariya?
3. Throwing rose petals on grave and stating that it's ok to do so as long as it doesn't cause the grave to resemble a shrine. I reiterate: they are already aware that graves should not be decorated but they believe that that only applies to embellished decorations such as those of shrines and grave worship.
4. Men standing at the grave and reciting Quran over it, specifically surahs like al-Mulk and Yasin.
5. The idea that a loved one can't touch or kiss the dead individual prior to janazah and burial because it "hurts them" in some way.
Any clarification provided would be much appreciated. JazakAllah khair.
, These are mere tradition and bida'a , we find no dalail for this . When a person dies the mourning is only for 3 days of course for wife it is 4 month 10 days iddah period, in which she should not go out of her house where she lived with her husband, if she has to that will be only for emergency purposes. Our prophet asked his ummah(men) to visit grave inorder to remind oneself of death, and say salaam which the dead person hear and return the salaam which we can not hear. Lamenting loudly and crying saying he was this and that , cursing others for his death and not allowing his own children, wife to touch him is base less.
said: "Whoever says Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah (there is no god but Allaah), seeking the Face of Allaah and that was his final action, will enter Paradise. Whoever fasts one day seeking the Face of Allaah and that was his final action, will enter Paradise. Whoever gives charity seeking the Face of Allaah and that was his final action will enter Paradise." So the 'blessing' is not in dying during Ramadhaan but dying while fasting for the sake of Allaah `azza wa jalla. 