wa alaykum salam,
My parents never hit me. In my family, kids and grownups interact with each other a lot of the time. Children sit and share in discussions and are part of the daily life.
When some parents put kids in seperate room to play or put them infront of TV.. or do not monitor how they learn and who their friends are, then things go bad.
I could never hit any child. There is no need to hit children. We just have to speak.
The Prophet
never hit children or any innocent person.
It is allowed Islamically, for a parent to hit his child, but people must remember that this is something that must be balanced and not abused. Good parents must have good communication with their children and make them develop inshaAllah as good Muslims.
Everything is possible with good communication, patience and kindness!
I once took shahada of some sisters and their brothers over telephone. They would hit their little brother when he was naughty.. and he would have very bad temper tantrums and not go to bed until around 1 - 2:00 in the morning. I told them to put him on telephone and I told him he was good boy, that he is much loved by his family and that he should listen to his big sisters and brothers... Then, I told his family to hug him and be kind to him.. and not hit him. They asked me, what should we do when he is naughty????? I told them, to tell him to stand on one foot in the corner...
Alhamdulillah it worked, and their mother spoke to me. She was very happy and pleased. She said that her son was never like this before. That he had completely changed and for first time ever he said sorry and had hugged and kissed her. She is also very much interested in Islam, alhamdulillah.
Anyway, lol, im not parenting expert, just it goes to show how a little love, listening and understanding goes a long way.
Every child is different, but the development is due to parenting. Children should listen to parents and elders starting from young age. They should know right from wrong and be sensible.. just as a child would know not to pick up things from floor and put in their mouths...
Some parents are no good at raising kids. You can tell easily by watching how a parent picks up their child, how they speak to them, how they let their kids slide around on the floor everywhere, they dont pay attention to how/where they sit, what they touch, what they eat.. especially outside.. in public places! Like Doctors surgeory.
It may seem like a petty thing to notice, but this speaks a great deal about the kind of parents that they are.. So, it is no wonder the children are crying, moaning and spoilt... the parents have no idea how to look after them, so they hit them or shout.. and the child learns nothing.
assalamu alaykum
