finding marriage remains difficult

[nyerekareem]

:salam2:
Brother, you keep mentioning that people are racist against you. What is your ethnicity anyways?

:salam2:

i am black and spanish

 

[palestine]

brother i want you to think back to when you were 15, did you like people who were older than you saying that you were too young for them? no i don't think anyone of us would. so i suggest that you hang even with 15 year olds...if they come to the masjid, then hey they must be good 15 yr olds. i'm 17 and i know i would hate it if someone treated differently because of my age. and trust me i have been and it makes me angry. it's wrong. they still have a mind and they can be your friends too. i hang out with 2,3,9,10,13'14,15 and ones my age too. because it's fun as long as you have something in common with them. anyways salam.

 

[nyerekareem]

brother i want you to think back to when you were 15, did you like people who were older than you saying that you were too young for them? no i don't think anyone of us would. so i suggest that you hang even with 15 year olds...if they come to the masjid, then hey they must be good 15 yr olds. i'm 17 and i know i would hate it if someone treated differently because of my age. and trust me i have been and it makes me angry. it's wrong. they still have a mind and they can be your friends too. i hang out with 2,3,9,10,13'14,15 and ones my age too. because it's fun as long as you have something in common with them. anyways salam.

i get along well with both age groups, but i'm concerned that their parents may not want them hanging out with older friends. i don't want them to get in trouble with their parents or something. i'd feel bad if they got punished.

 

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: brother. I am sad to hear that you have still not found your soulmate. Maybe you should go to another country and marry. Egypt etc. Why dont you try ISNA or ICNA. get in touch with imam siraj wahaj from NY maybe he can help you.

 

[nyerekareem]

:salam2: brother. I am sad to hear that you have still not found your soulmate. Maybe you should go to another country and marry. Egypt etc

:salam2:

it has definitely become something that i have been beginning to consider. i love the egyptian people, many of them have been very kind to me. although going there to find a wife has been a reason for me, but my heart longs to be in a muslim majority country. a few days ago a brother posted a thread titled " OCCUPATION " and it was about the situation in palestine. the video made me very angry not only at israeli policy but american policy. how my country supports israel, which in turn uses the funds to kill my palestinian muslim brothers with my tax money :astag: .

the thing about marrying abroad is: how do i go about doing it? do i go for a month and say to myself " i'm not leaving egypt without a wife " ?

 

[stranger786]

salam dear bro

salam dear brother ..

I know what you mean.Unfortunatly most muslims are closed into their cultural shell.Though we are all muslims and claim that we believe in one God and follow one book.Honestly this cultural preference is blue bolt on our faces.(ofcourse there are good people as well).

My Prayers and best wishes are for you.You please try the following free sites.
www.muslimintro.com

This is run by brother for free for those good muslim bro and sists who have problem of proposals.(may Allah bless and reward for his effort).I suggest this site to a sister and she found her husband there mashaAllah.I just wish that you will also find your spouse ..lol.:lol:

I will PM you the id of another rervert sister who had similar problems in finding prospective spouse.Now she is happily married and help others as well for sake of Allah.

Just be patient.It is better to live alone then to live some one who think that 'there is should be click' (rather then looking into character of a brother).

may Allah bring all of us to righteous.

With PRayres and best of luck brother

 

[warda A]

look

:salam2:

i tried hudatv before but it gave me some us govt type of website lol. i have thought about changing masjid but the other ones that i know are far away, which makes performing jummah difficult. as far as having people to talk to, i really don't have anybody that i can talk to. i'm the youngest and i'm treated like the baby and no one takes me seriously. i have lost contact with my father for almost 10 years now. i wish i could talk to him.

:salam2:
Maybe you should start looking for your dad and talk to him, loosing contact for that long a time could have had an impact on you.
As sister palestine says , talk to them and do not worry about what their parents would say, they might even be glad that someone older is talking to their kids and teaching them, i would appreciate that if i were one of their parents.
I hope everything works out for you
as for huda tv i think it gets censored over there

 

[lostlilly07]

:salam2:

it has definitely become something that i have been beginning to consider. i love the egyptian people, many of them have been very kind to me. although going there to find a wife has been a reason for me, but my heart longs to be in a muslim majority country. a few days ago a brother posted a thread titled " OCCUPATION " and it was about the situation in palestine. the video made me very angry not only at israeli policy but american policy. how my country supports israel, which in turn uses the funds to kill my palestinian muslim brothers with my tax money :astag: .

the thing about marrying abroad is: how do i go about doing it? do i go for a month and say to myself " i'm not leaving egypt without a wife " ?

uggggggggghhh IDK but there has to be easier method to getting marry then this............but I am not going to judge since my situation is a little different like i want to get marry but at the same time I am not pressing the issue. like I am not calling my wali every other day asking has he found me a soulmate. But what you need is a network...like do you speak okay Arabic, i mean english is used in Egypt but Arabic is still the national language and 99% of the people first language. I am just going to pray for you bro.....This is surely some test Allah has you going through. You know and ISNA was in New Jersey like two weeks ago, I was suppose to come but my sister was expecting her baby at any moment so I skip out.

 

[BintMuhammad]

Assalaamu alaikum warahmatullaah,

Brother I'm sure there are many good sisters out there who are also in search of a husband. Try masjid hopping and I'm sure atleast one or two would be very welcoming. Also, isn't there any Marriage Program in your area? I mean like in Australia their Islaamic Organization there called IISNA has this program where they let you fill up a form and they will look for a good prospect for you. Ofcourse, keep asking Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala and don't lose your patience 'cause Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala loves those who are patient and Inshaa'Allaah you will be rewarded in this life or in the hereafter.

 

[ahmed_tabib]

:salam2:

Indeed finding the right partner in a halal way seems to be one of the most difficult task for me. I'm studying at the University, and Wallahee, the temptations that I go through every single day make me wanna lose my patience at times.

And the situation is soo complex, the pious Muslimah are difficult to get access to, and the not-so pious ones (well, muslim girls living a totally western lifestyle can hardly be considered even "not-so pious") are not the ones who I am looking for.

And of course there are the general masses who think I am a weirdo to think of marriage at my age.

 

[muharram23]

Assalaamu alaikum warahmatullaah,

Brother I'm sure there are many good sisters out there who are also in search of a husband. Try masjid hopping and I'm sure atleast one or two would be very welcoming. Also, isn't there any Marriage Program in your area? I mean like in Australia their Islaamic Organization there called IISNA has this program where they let you fill up a form and they will look for a good prospect for you. Ofcourse, keep asking Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala and don't lose your patience 'cause Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala loves those who are patient and Inshaa'Allaah you will be rewarded in this life or in the hereafter.

Salam, yes isna is good if ur a doctor, engineer etc. . by the way, there is ISNA convention in america every year. I have been to one a while ago, and i named it as "fitna convention".

wasalam

 

[Amir_of_spain]

My limiting factor is being broke! The day i get financial stability, that will be the day! I never realised that just the process of getting married would be such a gigantic hurdle of a moutain, i hope its worth it after all this stress and hassle and restriction.

 

[a_brother]

:salam2: brother

same situation here.... couldn't find what i am looking for yet.... i don't push it any more and i keep reminding myself that i would get married when time for me to get married.... if i don't get married here, i would hope that Allah accept me into paradise (hoor-ein and other things ... ).... chill out brother, you'll pass this hurdle again inshaAllah....

as about the brothers not been friendly in the masjid.... i know of two masjids here... i like one more than the other because of the way brother interact with each other... find another masjid to attend to... the more you show up to the masjid the more familiar you'll be in the masjid.... you are a strong brother.... this life is veeeeery short..... keep your patiences and inshaAllah things would get better..... Salam

 

[muharram23]

salamu alaykum

When the time of Allah's decree comes, you will get married. Calm down. InshAllah u'l get married.

wassalam

 

[Salem9022]

You know that is why arrainged marriages are a blessing in disguise. you don't have to worry about finding a wife or husband,, you just go to your mother and tell her straight forward "Mom, I am old enough and I need a women" next day couple of women show up and if you like her you marry her, The mother usually have some sort of connection with the other women. This is how usually the marriages are conducted in Many muslim countries, and that is why it can become hard for an outsider to marry muslims from other countries. But as for me Even though I am Pakistani, I would rather marry an American rather then following that whole embarrsing senerio with my mother who most likly take me back to pakistan to marry some girl.

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

For converts it can be very difficult, there are no parents to arrange us. I feel more sorry for the brother converts than females like myself, as they seem to struggle the most. I see them treated like brothers right up until it comes to marriage, then suddenly the door is slammed in their face. (metaphorically speaking)

Most Muslims are willing to share their food, clothing and knowledge with a convert but when it comes to marrying their daughters or sons to us suddenly you hear words such as...."too difficult.....cultural issues" etc., etc., Honestly I find it quite hypocritical. I pray all my brothers and sisters are joined with their soulmate very soon.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[nyerekareem]

Assalaamu alaikum warahmatullaah,

Brother I'm sure there are many good sisters out there who are also in search of a husband. Try masjid hopping and I'm sure atleast one or two would be very welcoming. Also, isn't there any Marriage Program in your area? I mean like in Australia their Islaamic Organization there called IISNA has this program where they let you fill up a form and they will look for a good prospect for you. Ofcourse, keep asking Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala and don't lose your patience 'cause Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala loves those who are patient and Inshaa'Allaah you will be rewarded in this life or in the hereafter.

:salam2:

there have been some matrimonial banquet events like once or twice. the problem was that they gave these events such short notice, so i wasn't able to request time off from work to attend. i have done some masjid hopping, but it seems that the few that i attended, didn't have any women there. i have a feeling like it was a " brothers " only masjid. i mean no women whatsoever. i was afraid to ask about that when i was there. i didn't want them to say " lower your gaze brother. " why are you thinking about women? i didn't want to seem like i was desperate, especially since these people didn't know me at all.

 

[BintMuhammad]

:salam2:

there have been some matrimonial banquet events like once or twice. the problem was that they gave these events such short notice, so i wasn't able to request time off from work to attend. i have done some masjid hopping, but it seems that the few that i attended, didn't have any women there. i have a feeling like it was a " brothers " only masjid. i mean no women whatsoever. i was afraid to ask about that when i was there. i didn't want them to say " lower your gaze brother. " why are you thinking about women? i didn't want to seem like i was desperate, especially since these people didn't know me at all.

Wa alaikumussalaam warahmatullaah,

Brother, it doesn't matter if there are no women in the masjid. The reason I recommended Masjid hopping is for you to meet good brothers and Inshaa"Allaah they can help you find a wife. Probably someone they know or their relative.

Don't be so pessimistic akhi, ofcourse you wont ask them straight away LoL only when you have already established that trust then you can tell em that you are in search of a wife Inshaa'Allaah.

 

[BintMuhammad]

Salaam,

For converts it can be very difficult, there are no parents to arrange us. I feel more sorry for the brother converts than females like myself, as they seem to struggle the most. I see them treated like brothers right up until it comes to marriage, then suddenly the door is slammed in their face. (metaphorically speaking)

Most Muslims are willing to share their food, clothing and knowledge with a convert but when it comes to marrying their daughters or sons to us suddenly you hear words such as...."too difficult.....cultural issues" etc., etc., Honestly I find it quite hypocritical. I pray all my brothers and sisters are joined with their soulmate very soon.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

Wa alaikumussalaam warahmatullaah,

That is so true sis. Some parents think that all "reverts" especially the men aren't really that dedicated to Islaam or just converted because of marriage which I think is totally opposite! Most of 'em are even better than those raised as Muslims. Alhamdulillaah my parents are not one of those 'cause they permitted me to marry my hubby who is a revert and wog LoL (to DH, if you're reading, don't bash me )

 

[BintMuhammad]

Salam, yes isna is good if ur a doctor, engineer etc. . by the way, there is ISNA convention in america every year. I have been to one a while ago, and i named it as "fitna convention".

wasalam

Wa alaikumussalaam warahmatullaah,

LoL brother I know ISNA in america is not good according to sources but I said IISNA (Islaamic Information & Services Network of Australasia) this is totally different as this is based in Australia! You can visit their website http://IISNA.com Inshaa'Allaah