10 Good Reasons to Marry a Muslim

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

This is funny.

By Fareeda Ahmed
November 5, 2009

Single ladies and bachelors, listen up! The world is melting! Nationality is just not what it was before. In a world where we can have wars on intangible forces ("terror," “obesity,"..."Hannah Montana") it’s clear that borders just don’t mean what they used to. This post-modern nationless world, coupled with the rise of intermarriage - aka “people-flower cross-pollinization,” - has rendered the question “so where are you from?” as obsolete as “so, when was your last polio vaccination?” or “How ‘bout them Crusades?”

Always the trendsetters, Muslims as a people have helped propagate this blurring of borderlines since their emergence from the deserts of Saudi 1,600 years ago - Islam spread as its followers travelled, and its singles mingled with indigenous populations. As a result, Muslims are all over the globe today. And the trend is growing. Muslim genes are spreading faster than viral videos, and it’s not the broadband (though that might be part of it...internet dating, etc).

So are you looking for a long-term relationship? Don’t fight it, people. You read about us in the news every single day - we’re freakin’ famous! Come and melt with us! Give you one good reason? Sure thing! Here are 10 good reasons to marry a Muslim.

1. Cool Kids’ names - Muslim names are awesome! Don’t get me wrong. I think John, and Jackson, and Bob are all nice names...but when your kids’ names are Jahangir (conquerer of the world), Jalal-ud-Din (the majesty of religion), and Bahar Bano (blooming princess), you’ll be itching for them to fall of the swings so you can yell their names proudly across the playground. i.e. Zahratun Nisa (Women-Flower) ! Get down from those monkey bars this instant!

2. In with the In-Crowd- Get with it! Muslims are the second-largest religious community in the world. Join the club! Loser.

2a. Diversify Your Gene Portfolio - Tagging onto #2 - the world Muslim population is enormously diverse and varied. It’s sort of like a Whole Foods buffet for genes - you get a little Chinese, a little Italian, and some North African too.

3. Wedding of Your Dreams - Small courthouse ceremony? Or awesome wedding extravaganza with bejeweled camels and a weeklong music and dance festival. (And here’s one way to do it without breaking the bank!)

4. Instant Celebrity- What other group of people is in the news more? Your choices are basically: join a reality tv show (hello psuedo-celebrity Apprentice), become Barack Obama, get fake lost in a flying balloon and hide in your parents’ attic...or become Muslim! If you want to be talked about - Muslim is the way to go!

5. Pull the “M” Card- people have lots of misconceptions about Islam. While we all do our duty to educate them about fasting, prayer, and our traditions, another boon of marrying a Muslim is you get to psych them out too - like, “oh what’s that? That huge paper is due on Monday? Oh right, well that’s a religious holiday for me, a Muslim one. No can do. Sorry.” Or “I’m so bummed I can’t eat that delicious looking roasted intestine sausage link. I’m fasting. What’s that? Yeah, it started uhh right now, like 5 minutes ago. Whattashame.” Or “Oh...heyyyy.....how are...you......yeah, I totally meant to call you, but phones are against my religion.”

6. Family Drama and Not Just Yo’ Mamma- Think you’ve got family drama with your 2 evil cousins and weird uncle? Marry into a Muslim family and you’ve just entered stage-right of a saga of epic proportions, complete with evil eyes, cursing of generations, and ancestral feuds. Plenty of fodder if you’re a writer...or a therapist.

7,8,9 &10. You totally thought I was going to list something about ”multiple wives,” didn’t you? Didn’t you? Like saving on wedding expenses by doing 4 brides-in-1, or creating a dynasty of little you’s in one-quarter the time. You were just waiting for it, weren’t you?

Well, sorry, I couldn’t resist: Reasons 7,8,9, &10 = Wives 1,2,3 & 4.

Polygamy: expanding the Muslim empire since 600AD.


http://www.elanthemag.com/index.php...0_good_reasons_to_marry_a_muslim-nid496459156
 

IHearIslam

make dua 4 ma finals
Assalaamu alaikum,

:lol: oh subhanaAllaah, thats soo funny!!
cursing of generations, and ancestral feuds.
:p:p My goodness, subhanaAllaah, it's like soo TRUE :lol:

thanks for sharing....made me SMILE
 

Asja

Pearl of Islaam
:salam2:

Mashallah, that is so funny dear sister. :hijabi:. Mashallah, so beautiful Islaam, how ever you write it. :hijabi:

May Allah reword you sister for sharing with us.

:wasalam:
 

stiks

Amatur-Rahman
Wa'aleykumsalaam,

It sounds like this writer (Farida) is having a subtle dig at muslims.
 

BrotherInIslam7

La Illaha Illa Allah
Staff member
:salam2:

^^ I stopped reading when I came across '1600 years'.

Now that I tried reading it. I hardly find it funny, rather it is more provocative and judgemental (under the guise of so called 'sarcasm').

Also, we shouldn't make fun of wrong practices in our community. Rather, we should first eliminate them from our family/society and seek to help others as well with kindness.

May Allah subhaanaho waa taala guide us. Ameen
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

It's just making fun of ourselves...and that is all...nothing serious...but a reason to smile about ourselves.
 

BrotherInIslam7

La Illaha Illa Allah
Staff member
Assalaam walaikum,

It's just making fun of ourselves...and that is all...nothing serious...but a reason to smile about ourselves.

:wasalam:

Our deviance from our religion is nothing worthy of 'being laughed at'. Rather we should be deeply ashamed of it and make continuous tawbah to our Creator & try to rectify it with all means that we possess.

It is sad that our extravagant weddings are nothing but a waste of money. The one where the poor are not invited but rather our close friends and families (who are upto our social and living status). I don't see anything laugh worthy about it.

Wasalaamalaykum waa rahmatullahi
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

Brother we are human beings. We all have little pockets of stupidity. Every one of us. Some enjoy huge weddings...some like cars...some like sports....some like to cook...we can not be serious 24/7. It is not in our nature.
 

BrotherInIslam7

La Illaha Illa Allah
Staff member
Assalaam walaikum,

Brother we are human beings. We all have little pockets of stupidity. Every one of us. Some enjoy huge weddings...some like cars...some like sports....some like to cook...we can not be serious 24/7. It is not in our nature.

:salam2:

Can you please atleast inform her that it is '1400 years' instead of '1600 years'. She seems to have spend all her creativity in making her readers laugh, that she didn't even find it necessary to pay enough attention to our history.

Well she knows how to laugh at the expense of all her muslim brethren, so that excuses her from contributing anything meaningful .. :rolleyes:
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

That my dears is the problem with western education; they lie to us about our own history.
 

Tabassum07

Smile for Allah
It is entertaining, but I thought it wasn't really true. If you look at it, aren't huge extravagant weddings with music and dance frowned upon??

And the whole family feuds. What family doesn't have feuds and stuff??

Well. To each his/her own. :)
 

sister herb

Official TTI Chef
3. Wedding of Your Dreams - Small courthouse ceremony? Or awesome wedding extravaganza with bejeweled camels and a weeklong music and dance festival. (And here’s one way to do it without breaking the bank!)

Maybe not dance festival but camels, wedding dress I have created by myself (what makes me look as ancient arab princess) in Tunisia.

:lol:

If here is anyone from Tunisia... you are welcome.

:SMILY288:

Thanks Aapa about your post. :hearts:
 
Top