A humilating confession of one muslim

[True_Sultan]

I asked this on Yahoo Answers, but truely on one helped so brothers help me!!

Okay Salaam to my brothers and sisters from any religion, I have something to confess, please read thoroughly:

Okay so Im not feeling well. Everything has gone all wrong, maybe its my punishment from Allah (God). So everything has been going well. But as years past I haven't been doing well. Grade 10 was okay, I got high marks like 90's even though I didn't do any work. SO when it comes to grade 11 well I fell in love with this girl, her name was Megan. Anyway when I said I loved her she rejected me and it messed me so bad. My marks went down and I kinda lost myself. I feel lonely and I still do. Also i committed so many sins. I lied so many times, I masturbated since I was like in grade 7 and I recently got hooked on *!*!*!*! since Grade 10. So I feel weird and I feel a spiritual discontent. Also I have some family feud and one of them is that my mom told me since I was in Grade 3 or 4 my dad swore on Allah that he would ruin me. I have a feeling he succeeded and shaitain has trapped me. I have an aspiration that I wanna find the unknown and the mysteries, study aerospace and astrophysics (this awakened with weird dreams, inner feelings and some quranic verses). Im feeling that all this is the reason why Im here. I also prayed and did fasting along with still committing some sins. Also I can recall when I was young not knowing I was influenced by a hindu to bow down to Ganesha and I feel terrible and I can't believe I did that, Im trying to look for purification. I ask for forgiveness but Im ashamed because I keep on committing them. So Im worried that all my distress is a punishment from God. I'm feeling that I may not succeed in achieving my dreams and stuff. I feel lonely, down, loss of intelligence, responsibility, and I feel discontent. As you can see that there is more to it then what it meets the eye. I feel that im moving away from something, my faith, my soul, my life. Also I feel lonely, not liked, I feel I lost my intelligence, confidence and dreams.

Im not looking for pity but answers. I can only ask people online, because I can't go looking for help in the family because Im scared and I can't go looking for help from a Imam or friends because Im ashamed. Also please read it carefully so you can understand and imagine what Im going through. Also there may be so many things I've done that I either forgot or Im ashamed of saying. So please help me... Also Im not looking into converting or anything, I want to stay in Islam. My feeble faith has pushed me this far and has pushed me to confess and I want to stay in this faith but I want it to grow and be closer to Allah (God)

I await for your answer to my distress.

Anyway So I prayed once and I did a dua during when I was in sujood on the floor in english, is that correct?

Anyway its humiliating to say but I controlled my urge for a few days but then I started to sin again (i.e *!*!*!*!, Masturbation, lies etc.), how can I stop?

I want to end this now!!

 

[IHearIslam]

I dont have enough time to write more but I need to say this.....

repent sencerly to Allah!!! remember Allah is all forgiving and He forgives all sins BUT Shirk(associating partners with HIM)....So, inshaAllah He will forgive you BUT when you repent, make sure to NOT repeat the same sins!!! and if youu dooo....keep repenting! Allah LOVES He who repents out of fear and HOPE!!!

Take care, and I'll keep you in my duas!!

Allah hafiz now and alwaysss

 

[miq1]

Praise be to Allah (The Glorified and Exalted).

1) Do not go around the internet posting this type of material, because non-Muslims will look down on you, even though they are in the same or worse condition. Coming to this site was a good decision.

2) Do not worry about your past such as your father talking emotional nonsense about ruining you, when you were a child. A Believer must think well of his Lord, Allah (The Glorified and Exalted), the Most High and JUST. As far as associating partners with Him is concerned, you have not done that, some act you did as a child out of ignorance and lack of knowledge is nothing to worry about.

3) The effects of looking at the awrah (what must be covered) of other people are devastating. What is required from the Believer is to resist viewing any promiscuous material because that would signify support and help the evil to prosper, “Whoever recommends and helps a good cause becomes a partner therein: And whoever recommends and helps an evil cause, shares in its burden: And Allah hath power over all things” [4:85]. Moreover, viewing the awrah of others affects the heart spiritually, by making it unable to focus, sickening it, distracting it with desires, and concealing the path of goodness. This leads to deviation from the fitrah (sound human nature) and causes the person to forget religiosity and indulge in all forms of abominable sins. The Believer must have a defensive jealousy for the Sacred Limits of Allah (The Exalted and Glorified), “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty…” [24:30-31].

A measure that can be taken in order to prevent the temptation from seducing an individual, is to completely remove the television and immodest magazines from the household. If the television is not removed, then the individual should at least prohibit certain channels from being viewed by blocking them, especially music channels. It is also best to remove televisions from the bedrooms of one’s children. In regards to the internet, the computer should be placed in a common room in which most of the family members gather. One should also place programs on the computer to prohibit access to permissive websites. If the individual is living in a promiscuous society, then it is best to leave one’s home only when necessary, “…And fear Allah, and know that Allah is strict in punishment” [2:196].

4) You must look at the sin you are committing on the same level as another sin that you do not commit, in order to help you stop. For example, you do not consume the meat of pigs because it is prohibited, therefore, you may equate this sin psychologically with that of eating pigs' meat, in order to resist the temptations.

5) You are in need of building your faith, which will lead to acts of obedience and observation of the Sacred Limits assigned by Allah (The Glorified and Exalted). Go to the following websites in order to build your knowledge, starting with beliefs and then progressing, try to search for a question that deals with your situation on the following site:
http://islamqa.com/en/tree
http://www.islamreligion.com/

6) You must think well of Allah (The Glorified and Exalted) and know that He is Oft-Forgiving and Most Merciful to His slaves that realize their faults and turn to Him with sincere repentance. Allah (The Glorified and Exalted) Wishes for the Muslim Ummah to fill Paradise and helps them in that regard.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Allah will accept His slave’s repentance so long as the death rattle has not yet reached his throat.”
[al-Tirmidhi no. 3537; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1425]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.” [al-Tirmidhi no. 2499; classed as hasan by al-Albaani]

“Say: ‘O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful’” [39:53]​

‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ood (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin.” [classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Majah]


And Allah (The Glorified and Exalted) Knows Best.

 

[ShyHijabi]

Mash'Allah, Miq has framed some very good responses to your questions. Brother none of us are perfect and don't feel the need to expose your sins that Allah swt has concealed.

One thing that you can rectify immediately is to lower your gaze and immediately stop looking at lewd images. (either on the web or in magazines) Given your age it's like throwing petrol on a open fire....so stop inflamming your desires. Also, don't be alone when you think the temptation is hard to deal with. Find work to do, clean your house, take over your mother's chores. Busy hands tend to be obediant hands..idle hands are the devil's workshop.

Anyways, I don't have much to add as the previous person has done such a good job. You need ot change the way you think, stop dwelling on negativity and get out and starting DOing things to improve your outlook and confidence.

 

[ahmed_indian]

mashallah brother miq1 did not leave anything to tell more.

Allah Has made you to feel guilty and repentant, its a sign of His love for you.

1. make your first goal: Allah's pleasure and Jannah.

2. dont worry about ur father's statement. seek refuge in Allah. nothing happens against His will.

3. ask Allah to make u forget Miss Megan and replace her with a better wife for you.

4. try to be in good company of friends.

5. last but not least, keep making Dua's.

and may Allah help you brother.

 

[rickyraws]

Brother, just feeling this way is a sign that God hasn't forgotten you, and that no matter how much bad you've done in the past, He can forgive you, and you can grow to be more content and happy than you ever were. Hang in there brother, because you're still on the right path. I'm keep you in my duas.

 

[Mabsoot]

Assalamu alaykum

First of all, you should not share your past sins with others.

If Allaah has hidden your sins from people, then you should let them remain hidden.

You should seek forgiveness, and move on and not look back.


All you have to do is to turn to Allaah, regret what you did and resolve not to do it again. Then receive the glad tidings of the bounty and mercy of Allaah, for Islaam wipes out whatever sins came before it, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to 'Amr ibn al-'Aas (may Allaah be pleased with him): "O 'Amr, do you not know that Islam wipes out whatever came before it." Narrated by Muslim, 121; Ahmad, 17861.

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi and classed as hasan by al-Albaani.

If a person repents to Allaah, Allaah accepts his repentance and forgives him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

"And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves, and forgives sins" [al-Shoora 42:25]

"And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)" [Ta-Ha 20:82]

So this is the most important thing that you should know. That you have repented, you are sincere in that. Then you must not think about the past. You can feel guilty and sad with it, but do not put yourself down. My brother, ever person makes mistakes. The best people are those who turn to Allaah and their hearts are devoted to Him.

Put your reliance in Allaah, start a new life filled with purity and chastity, regret and prayers for forgiveness, keeping away from the things that lead to temptation and immorality. Do a lot of righteous deeds, read a great deal of Qur'aan, and attend many righteous gatherings. With time, your relationship with this person will fade, for it is based on emotions that are not based on shar'i guidelines or wise thinking. Beware lest the Shaytaan ensnare you and makes you think that you cannot forget or sever the relationship forever; these are just whispers and tricks, and devilish attempts to keep you in the hell of love and emotion, and distract you from the higher aims of sincere devotion and submission to Allaah and constant striving to please Him. We ask Allaah to give you a way out from your distress and anxiety.


It was narrated from Ibn 'Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Avoid these filthy things that Allaah has forbidden. Whoever has done any of them, let him conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah, and let him repent to Allaah, because if anyone discloses his deeds to us, we will punish him as prescribed in the Book of Allaah."

Narrated by Maalik (1562) in a mursal report, and by al-Haakim (4/425) and al-Bayhaqi (8/330) in a muttasal report. The hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, Ibn al-Sakan and Ibn al-Mulaqqin; and it was classed as hasan by al-'Iraqi and al-Albaani.

See: al-Talkhees al-Habeer (4/57); Khalaasat al-Badr al-Muneer by Ibn al- Mulaqqin (2/303); al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (663).

Filthy things refers to bad actions and foul speech that Allaah has forbidden.

Ibn 'Abd al-Barr said:

This hadeeth indicates that it is obligatory for a Muslim to conceal his private affairs if he has committed an immoral action, and that is also required with regard to other people. Al-Tamheed (5/337).

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: "All of my ummah will be fine except those who commit sin openly, and it is part of committing sin openly for a man to do something at night, then in the morning when his Lord has concealed him he says: O So and so, I did such and such last night, when his Lord had concealed him all night, but in the morning he discloses that which Allaah had concealed for him."

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5721) and Muslim (2990).

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-'Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

As for the sinning believer, if he commits sin it is better for him not to do so openly and not to tell anyone about it, and to conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah and repent from it. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "All of my ummah will be fine except those who commit sin openly". Those who commit sin openly are those who do bad deeds then in the morning they tell people what they have done. The one who does any of these filthy things should conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah and repent to Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, and should not tell anyone about it.

Liqaa'aat al-baab il-Maftooh (13/question no. 13).

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

It may be learned from this story - i.e., the story of Maa'iz when he admitted to having committed adultery - that it is mustahabb for the one who does something similar to repent to Allaah, may He be exalted, and conceal himself, and not tell anyone about that.

Hence al-Shaafa'i (may Allaah be pleased with him) stated: If a person commits a sin and Allaah conceals him, I prefer for him to conceal himself and repent. End quote. Fath al-Baari (12/124, 125).

In al-Mawsoo'ah al-Fiqhiyyah it says (3/181, 182):

The fuqaha' are unanimously agreed that if a person does anything for which he is to be shamed, it is recommended for him to conceal himself and not tell anyone, not even the qaadi (judge) so that the hadd punishment or ta'zeer (disciplinary punishment) may be carried out on him, because of the report narrated by al-Bukhaari and others from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say:
"All of my ummah will be fine except those who commit sin openly..." And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The one who does any of these filthy things should conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah."

Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq said: "If I catch a drinker, I would prefer that Allaah had concealed him, and if I catch a thief I would prefer that Allaah had concealed him." It is narrated that the Sahaabah -Abu Bakr, 'Umar, 'Ali, 'Ammaar ibn Yaasir, Abu Hurayrah, Abu'l-Darda', al-Hasan ibn 'Ali and others - concealed those who confessed to sin, or they prompted them to retract their confession, so as to conceal them. But it is better for the one who has committed sin to conceal himself rather than have others conceal him. Committing sin openly out of ignorance is better than committing sin openly out of a desire to brag. Ibn Hajar said: The one who deliberately commits sin openly and flaunts it angers his Lord. Al-Khateeb al-Sharbeeni said: As for flaunting it openly, it is definitely haraam. End quote.

The scholars have mentioned the benefits of concealing sin. In al-Mawsoo'ah al-Fiqhiyyah (3/182) it says:

Concealing sin results in the following:

(a) Not carrying out worldly punishments, because punishments are not required except after proof has been established. But if he conceals it and does not announce it or confess to it, and there is no way of proving it, then there is no punishment.

(b) Sin does not spread further. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Verily, those who like that (the crime of) illegal sexual intercourse should be propagated among those who believe, they will have a painful torment in this world and in the Hereafter. And Allaah knows and you know not" [al-Noor 24:19].

(c) The one who commits a sin and then conceals it is more likely to repent from it. If he repents then he is no longer to blame for it. If the sin has to do with the rights of Allaah then repentance means that he is no longer to blame for it, because Allaah is the most generous of those who are generous, and His mercy prevails over His wrath. So if He conceals him in this world, He will not expose him in the Hereafter. But if the sin has to do with the rights of other people, such as murder, slander, etc, then one of the conditions of repentance is that he restore those rights to those who are entitled to them, or he be forgiven by them. Hence the one who has concealed a sin that has to do with the rights of other people must restore those rights to them. End quote.

 

[True_Sultan]

Hey thank you all for your answers
Please I'm sorry for the confession (as Brother Mosboot said its a sin). I'm whole heartedly trying to start to pray and confess and start off fresh and purified. And if you can please keep me in your du'a so It will be easy for me, also please give me more tips if you have them

 

[cookiedough-123]

salam alikum

my brother it cant be easy what u are going though but this is a test after all. alhumduALLAH u dont want to leave islam thats the main thing. keep makin dua and remember ALLAH is forgivin. now u have to start focusing on the favours of ALLAH suban tala . and that is where the strength comes from. after all we are not made perfect and we all do sins. but deep down in ur heart that u want forgiveness then inshALLAH he will forgive u. this life is never easy but we have to remember that satan want to take us with him to hell dont like him make u a fool to. im sure u are much better than that.

:tti_sister:

 

[Peace2u]

Hey thank you all for your answers
Please I'm sorry for the confession (as Brother Mosboot said its a sin). I'm whole heartedly trying to start to pray and confess and start off fresh and purified. And if you can please keep me in your du'a so It will be easy for me, also please give me more tips if you have them

Salam brother,

I just wanted to say in addition to all the wonderful advice given to you by the other brothers and sisters. You must also consider fasting Monday's and Thursdays or every other day. This will help you to control your hormones and will stop you from indulging in lewd acts.

The other option brother is to consider getting married.

Peace2u

 

[IHearIslam]

Assalamu Alaikum I am back brother

subhanaAllah, my brothers and sisters have given you great advice!!! may Allah reward them all.ameeen
I am not gonna write alot but I'll share some vidoes with you, as I find them more effective!! inshaAllah, they'll help you in this journey of getting closser to Allah subhanahu wata'aAllah!!
here we go
[yt]tMLmAlaJHgE[/yt]

[yt]GTYbZ664F3M&feature[/yt]

this is a great nasheed!!! I hope you like it
[yt]X8aKhHs-gEs&feature[/yt]

Remember, ALLAH is only a PRAYER away!!! seek HIS forgiveness and He'll help you!! you're in my duas dear brother.

Allah hafiz now and alwaysss

 

[IHearIslam]

are my vids working?? I cant see 'em on my computer...is it just me??

 

[True_Sultan]

Amat brother, your videos are working, thank you for them, I'll check them out as soon as possible

 

[True_Sultan]

Assalamu Alaikum I am back brother

subhanaAllah, my brothers and sisters have given you great advice!!! may Allah reward them all.ameeen
I am not gonna write alot but I'll share some vidoes with you, as I find them more effective!! inshaAllah, they'll help you in this journey of getting closser to Allah subhanahu wata'aAllah!!
here we go
[yt]tMLmAlaJHgE[/yt]

[yt]GTYbZ664F3M&feature[/yt]

this is a great nasheed!!! I hope you like it
[yt]X8aKhHs-gEs&feature[/yt]

Remember, ALLAH is only a PRAYER away!!! seek HIS forgiveness and He'll help you!! you're in my duas dear brother.

Allah hafiz now and alwaysss

I love the videos, thank you, keep the help coming please

 

[rightpath_357]

Oh brother- it must be extremley hard what u r going trough. Ur fatrher said he would ruin u. No. It's ur life. ur going to lead it. take steps away from ur desires. When you feel misrible, remember that life is EXTREMLEY short compared to the afterlife- and pray or read Qur'an. Remain busy. When you think bad thoughts- say "Authoobillah Himinasha nir Rajeem" and think of good things- such as ur accomplishments, great things of Allah. Also, get back up, study, go outside, run, walk , jog. Gather some family or friends and go hiking in national parks, mountains, meadows. Do five prayers a day. Recite Aytul Kursi when you feel something bad stirring up inside you. Also read it when you wake, in the evening, and before you go to bed. Do good deeds. For example, give charity, help some one with disabilties. You will feel very good afterwards. Be carful too. shaytan makes his traps tricky, and irresistable. get a firm grip on yourself. think. ur brain knows that its wrong. but u dont listen. u keep on doing it, chanting good things about it, blocking out the warning. shaytan can make disgusting, wrong things seem good and right. also avoid doing small bad deeds. because they can lead to bigger ones.

Brother, you have fallen into a misrible, seething pit. You can't see the sunlight, the good. Tendrils pull you down, when you try to get up. The make it seem like they're cradling you when they're killing you. Overcome this. Reach back into the good deeds, and pull urself out. Duaa to Allah a lot. I hope this helps.

 

[True_Sultan]

Yes

Hello brother, I have starting to pray but only fajr and isha as the time constraint and school is in factor, but I still don't know about my forgiveness, a little help?:muslim_child:

 

[ahmed_indian]

Hello brother, I have starting to pray but only fajr and isha as the time constraint and school is in factor, but I still don't know about my forgiveness, a little help?:muslim_child:

:salam2:

mashallah bro u are improving. no one can be sure of forgiveness. we live in hope and fear of Allah.

always try to bring a humble, broken and regretful heart to Allah. ackowledge ur sins in front of Him. He is a Merciful King and Wise Ruler, He'll show you the way towards His Path.

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2:

I think that if you pray five times a day with all your heart ( very important from all your heart) and making a very good woduoo , fast three days eery months , have a good company to study Quran and Hadith, lower your gaze , try to be good to others mostly for your parents .............you will feel great.Try from now correct your relation with Allah subhanahu wa Taaala...everything else will be setteled

 

[hellbraker]

if i were you,i would find a good and trustworthy friend.confide in this friend.tell everything to this friend.i myself have felt lust recede when im in love.im not suggesting you to be in love with a girl or something,but a friend is more than enough for this task.and according to my humble opinion, girls are better in understanding the problems of a boy.but yeah,others may not agree.

 

[smlrahman]

Downaload Quran Recitation and Translation MP3

As sala Mu 'alaikum Brothers and Sisters in Islam:astag:
I Love you all for the sake of Allah. This is a great site for Islamic resource. Also please visit our website way2jannah.info to download the recitation of Sheikh Sudais and Suraim of Makkah and the translation. Also Translations in other languages. Alhumdulillah we have Islamic shopping section too.
Zazak Allah Khairan.