A special thank you to sister shyhijabi

[AlQurtubi]

"think the reason people want to marry or become friends with people from there country is mostly because of language"

YES YES and YES. I think its the only reason our mothers want us to merry some one from our culture. So, that they can DEAL with the lady appropriately..lol

Culture diversity, as said by sister ShyHijabi is an excellent thing. And it will also help islam to propagate through but only if THEY understand

 

[ShyHijabi]

wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullahi wbarakatuh

Sister I am not going against any of my Muslim brothers or sisters. However, those words that I quoted above made me to go to leave this laptop and go to my bed with a mind filled with sadness.

I love all my Muslim brothers and sisters for the sake of Allah. In your words, all the born to Muslim family Muslims are included. Please do not forget that there are many among them also who had to leave their family for the sake of Allah. Could not live in the same country where their family is, and had to do a Hijrah with any child(ren) they may have. There is a friend of a sister of mine who is divorced with a small child and no one to help. Therefore she is living in a foreign country with her child, finding a job from there. She is a Niqabi too, and now in a Kuffar country. How easy will it be.

Different people will be faced with different trials. Some will pass and some will not pass. Please do not think we (yes we) are having a very peaceful life in this place called Earth. It is filled with hardship for each and every Muslim. Doesn't matter revert or born to Muslim family. If I do not tell, no one will know my situation. Same is with others too. It is very wrong to say we already do what our parents say. The truth is, we do whatever good they say to the best of our ability.

I am really sad after reading the above paragraph.

May Allah (subuhaanahu wata'aala) make us all to be United under Laa-Ilaaha Illallahu Muhammdhurrasoolullah. May He (subuhaanahu wata'aala) bestow His mercy over us and make our lives easier than now.

wassalam 'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

-brother IbnAdam-

Salaam brother,

You've misinterpreted my words. I was meaning that towards the people that say convert's may be weak in their deen. When I read/hear those words I have to laugh instead of cry, for obviously they don't comprehed the strnegth it takes to convert when the price is losing everything.

The people that claim they don't think converts are strong in their deen are usually the same people who say you should obey your parents in all things. They've obviously never had to defy their parents to do the right thing Islamically. If I had obeyed my parents blindly I would not be Muslim. Please re-read what I wrote as I don't think you understood it the way I was presenting it.

I don't think people raised as Muslims have it easy. Rather I find it ridiculous that some Muslims thinks converts are weak in their deen.

Wasalaam

 

[slaveofAllah88]

:salam2:
it brings me great joy to share this thread with everyone lol seriously everytime i check it im surprised well what can I say our sister Shyhijabi is an amazing personality and sister Allah (swt) has mashallah tested your patience in many ways and Alhumdulilah you passed through it all and you still continue to be strong in a time of hardship, sister you are truly a blessing upon us muslims with your knowledge, kindness and guide.

I am happy to see other people agree, just remember always start with small steps if you dont start with baby steps you are not going to be able to take the big leap.
i do admit it was hard talking to my mom, kinda frustating sometimes cuz she kept on bringing components in that weren't associated with islam but brothers and sisters, i just kept quite and i listened to her, if i had let out my anger I would have been rude to my mom instead of doing a good thing would have done something against what Allah (swt) told me.

The best thing is let them speak their mind out and let them know that they are wrong. Well, most of our parents know think that people from non-muslim background are used to dating everyday, drinking every night , you know getting their info from movies or what they see in general public.
You got to help them understand that rainbow has different colors, some are red, blue yellow etc they are not all the same they might look one from far but if you look closely they are different colors.
Its the same as some people look at islam as the religion of terrorists but thats not Islam so if we explain to the parents that they are doing the same thing as kaffir then they start to think and inshallah something will happen.

Brother Shaheer, i was talking to my mother a while ago and i was saying let me merry or if i move out of pakistan, i would merry any moroccan.. lol. And you have done a lot of work to convince you mom. Wow! You have started to become a Man
Yes, I will invite you dont you worry. Can you tell me exactly what you told your mom? lol

merey bhai Qurtabi lol trust me its not easy, it took so long to convince my mom and lol at the end she is like yea i dont have a problem with you marrying a convert but you should wait another 7-8 years lol till you complete med school I was like MANN!! I fixed one problem and another one begin GrEAT
lol but thats life, it there was no problems there wud be no fun but im glad i did something that would change thinking for some of the muslims -- INSHALLAH.

bhai you got to understand in our society all we care about is OH what will the other person think, what will the neighbors say, what will our friends say.

LIKE SERIOUSLY JUST REMEMBER THE DAY WHEN NO MAN, NO SOCIETY, NO NEIGHBOR, NO FRIEND WILL BE ABLE TO HELP ANYONE.

Inshallah may Allah (swt) bless us all

 

[BinteShafi]

I wonder if these so-called "raised Muslims" would be able to stand the same trials? They already do whatever their parents say, whether it's right or wrong, could thay have the courage to embrace Islam even if it meant defying everything their family believes? Would they be able to face their mother and father when they say, "You are dead to me, never come back, never look at me, you're name shall never be spoken in this family again"? I doubt it. They would probably fold and commit apostacy instanteously. And they question the convert's deen. *snort*

you never know my dear sister.....sometime we so-called "raised Muslims" do not publicize "What we have sacrificed for the sake of Allah" because ultimately It is only for Allah ...for no one else. My strongest desire at this moment is to write about my sacrifices but I will not....(May Allah forgive me).

Please do remember that we (so-called raised muslims) do face trials every single day and stand trials (only by the will of Allah)

The only thing I want to tell you is that for millions of us so-called raised Muslims........our FAITH is beloved to us more than any other thing. Here I literally mean ANY OTHER THING ...... we are willing to sacrifice anything thousands times and we are doing that...

We do not question anyone's deen. Only Allah knows the best....

I love you sister Sarah for the sake of Allah alone and this does not make any difference to me and millions of other Muslims that you are revert. Allah is my witness and only HE knows what is in the hearts

Wa Alaikum salam

 

[a_muslimah86]

Salaam,

When I signed in today and saw this thread ahd grown so much I was actually nervous to read it. I was afraid I had offended with my words and that people were going to become defensive and fitnah would arise. But instead I see that everyone is on the same page and feels the same, alhumdulliah there's hope for unity yet.

When I read the word "caste" I am shocked it's coming from Muslims. Caste is a Hindu creation and based off their kuffar religion, and yet we have Muslims swallowing that excrement as our own. It's shocking because it's like Muslims have been offered an amazing religion...think of it as a steak meal with all the trimmings and some of us are rejecting it and saying we prefer to eat the dirt in the ground. (taking on cultural practices from other religions)

I actually had to laugh bitterly when I read that parents don't think a convert's deen is strong enough. I have sacrificed my family ties, my previous marriage, and a safe, stable home to become Muslim. I wonder if these so-called "raised Muslims" would be able to stand the same trials? They already do whatever their parents say, whether it's right or wrong, could thay have the courage to embrace Islam even if it meant defying everything their family believes? Would they be able to face their mother and father when they say, "You are dead to me, never come back, never look at me, you're name shall never be spoken in this family again"? I doubt it. They would probably fold and commit apostacy instanteously. And they question the convert's deen. *snort*

But like I said, brother Shaheerpak has restored some of my hope. Hope that this next generation will return to the important things, Islam over culture. We should rejoice in our diversity and not make it an artificial partition between us. So use it as a divider literally goes against the reason Allah swt made these differences in the first place.

Wasalaam

Sobhanallah sister!

Aren't of the so-called "raised muslims"..scholars which we learn from..muftis which we benefit from..teachers which we are students of???..who sacrifice their time for themselves and their families for the sake of others???...aren't of them..men and women who resist the oppression of occupation and injustice by fighting for the sake of Allah..putting behind them the world and what is in it and placing their *very soul* on a thin line between separating life from death???..aren't of them sisters who struggle with hijab or niqab not just with non-muslims and the community but with their own families???..

Sobhanallah...there are MANY!..even if you don't see them as a majority..there are MANY who suffer and make sacrifices which would break down the toughest and most enduring!..they just either fear riya'a or seek a greater ajer by suffering *in silence*!..they do not feel the need to sob..speak..and complain to the world..their Lord is a witness and an empathizer sufficient enough for them..Glory be Unto Him!

If our parents do not want their children marrying into other ethnicities..races..cultures..castes..tribes..etc. perhaps it is them being overprotective and fearful of possible (and normally exaggerated) *failures* and *disappointments* in a future unknown to them...

I think it is up to *us*..the younger..more open and racially/ethnically/etc. relaxed younger generation to speak to them..comfort them..and clarify things for them..just as brother shaheerpak (jazah allah khair) did..he logically..politely and calmly spoke to his mother and he changed her mind on things which were probably embedded very deep within her heart and mind...

That is truly inspiring to all of us who suffer from this issue..whether we are Pakistani..Indian..Yemeni..Somali..Egyptian..Turkish..Libyan..Iraqi..Malaysian...............you all get idea

We just need to mind the *polite & calm* aspect of the deal so we don't end up with anything *worst* than what we started with..don't you all agree?

 

[AlQurtubi]

Sister muslimah and binteshafi , I think we can let sister shy hijabi go this time even though she said that thing abt raised muslims . We all make mistakes , dont we?

And its not easy to be calm while explaining your parents, this matter.. . I loose my temper in just 1 minute, probaly in the third line i speak, when i talk to my mom abt this issue.lol

Shaheer, Can you email me the recording of that conversation? lol .. And 8 years haha.. you must be having at least 4 children after 8 years .. Poor you.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

:salam2: Sister muslimah and binteshafi,
I dont think sister shyHijabi meant that, she was just explaining her situation, what she said it didn't apply to everyone, offcourse there are lots of people alhumdulilah that sacrifice alot for Islam, but sisters she meant that what she went through alot of people might be backed down especially when your a non-muslim. When we are born muslims we think differently Alhumdulilah we have our friends and family to back us up alot of times but reverts dont.

SO please go easy on my sister, she didn't mean anything bad.

 

[Maha]

:salam2: Brothers and Sisters,

I dont normally really post message, but the topic has hit a chord! I have also unfortunaly agree with some posts regards to some ppl from some cultures thinking reverts are "not worthy of being muslim". Sad to say i have experinced it first hand, My in-laws are pakistani and i am not and from the way i pray, even to way i give salams get critcised. Its hard. Instead of helping a new muslim understand the beauty of Islam they hinder it.

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

I will bold this because I don't think anyone read my previous post. My comment towards "raised Muslims" was for the ones who say converts are weak in the deen, NOT EVERY MUSLIM. Just the ones who think they are better or superior because they were raised in a Muslim family. Unless you fall into this catagory then I don't see why there is offense taken.

It was not my intent to hurt anyone's feelings. My feelings were very hurt when I hear that people raised in Muslim families don't think I am a good enough Muslim because I am a convert. I never said that raised Muslims do not face trials, I didn't even say I had worse trials. I simply said the ones who claim converts are weak in deen should see how strong they would be if they had to choose between Islam and all their friends and family. Again, there is no offense where none is taken. And if you aren't one of the Muslims saying you are better or straonger than converts, then you shouldn't feel offense.

Wasalaam

 

[slaveofAllah88]

Salaam,

I will bold this because I don't think anyone read my previous post. My comment towards "raised Muslims" was for the ones who say converts are weak in the deen, NOT EVERY MUSLIM. Just the ones who think they are better or superior because they were raised in a Muslim family. Unless you fall into this catagory then I don't see why there is offense taken.

It was not my intent to hurt anyone's feelings. My feelings were very hurt when I hear that people raised in Muslim families don't think I am a good enough Muslim because I am a convert. I never said that raised Muslims do not face trials, I didn't even say I had worse trials. I simply said the ones who claim converts are weak in deen should see how strong they would be if they had to choose between Islam and all their friends and family. Again, there is no offense where none is taken. And if you aren't one of the Muslims saying you are better or straonger than converts, then you shouldn't feel offense.

Wasalaam

:salam2:
thank you sister for bolding what you meant ...