advice would be nice(also, anyone in tampa?)

[somewhatinspired]

ok.

i don't know if anyone has been following any of the posts i have posted within the last few months.

but my wife and i are new Muslims.

we married right after she converted to Islam, (we were dating)

and we are both 19.

well, we live in a rural area in my fathers house and we pay him rent.

we have been working for a year since we got out of high school, and we are no further ahead than we were before.

i have managed to take a few classes at the community college.

not getting ahead, we have decided to move to Tampa Florida ( we live in palm coast)

we are trying to secure an apartment that is about a mile away from the university of south Florida (usf) should be living there within the next month if all works out.

i sold my vehicle to pay for moving expenses and secure a few months rent.

i bought a bicycle. and i am planning to ride it to school(if i ever get there) and work.

my wife has a car we will share.

we both work here, she secured a job there, i haven't yet.

i am becoming more and more depressed thinking about having to ride my bike around town.

i am very sensitive to the humidity and Tampa is really humid.

i moved there because the university has a strong msa.

and there are lots of Muslims in the area.

i planned on using the bus system but when i got there i found out the nearest bus stop was the university itself(like a mile away)

there is no way we could afford two cars living on our own.

and my mother expects me to go to college and work.

and i have promised to provide my wife a way to study (she has a scholarship)

and i feel sicker and sicker as the time comes to move.

i don't want to go to class all sweaty,

and the nearest businesses are further away.

i want job that has air conditioning and a relaxed environment so i can focus on school. but everything seems far away, and the weather is really hot.

i have driven a car for a long time.

i just dont hink i can do it.

but it is to late and i am really becoming depressed.

i am afraid i just wont go to school.
and i am afraid that i will fail everyone.

my wife is happy because she has a good job there, and a scholarship, and a car.

and i am finding it hard to be happy at all.

i wake up and feel like i wish i would never wake up at all.

i physically feel sick at work, and i cant stop thinking about it.

this is all kind of personal, but i don't know who else to talk about it with.

ps. all advise is welcome but please don't tell me to get used to the heat.

i cant,i suffered from this as a child, and it doesn't go away.the only thing that helped was using a car with air conditioning.


and also if anyone here lives in Tampa(near usf) tell me i would like to ask some questions pertaining to the area.

 

[IslamIsLight]

assalamu aleikum brother
Yes I remeber your post
I'm happy that things worked out good for u guys,
Alhamdulillah

U can use a bus instead of the bike
InshaAllah u can get a car after awhile
Its hard to have everything we want.Allah is with the patient
Alhamdulillah that your wife in a good position right now
U will be ok soon also InshaAllah
And its so great to attend school...

waaleikum salam

 

[Musulmanin]

Assalam Alleikum akhi,

can you take any of your classes online? this would save your time and energy on trips. I hope USF offers online courses.


Wasalam

 

[jabba]

:salam2:
Things seem to be looking very good for you two mashAllah. Well brother I understand your sensitivity with the heat I have the same sort of problem with cold weather. anyways you said your university is a mile away, thats only 8 blocks, can't you walk? you wouldn't get so sweaty. Or if you do ride your bike bring an extra shirt with you and just change when you get to school. I'm sure your not the only sweaty guy in University. Allah (SWT) tests us in many ways, this is a good thing. I wouldn't reccomend taking classes online, the classroom experience is much better, and this way you can meet more Muslims by making yourself seen inshAllah.

 

[Steve940]

:salam2:

A mile on a bike isn't that far brother. Perhaps you're not used to it; if you ride the bike more, your muscles should grow stronger and it shouldn't be much of a problem, insha'Allah. I don't have a car yet, and I ride my bike for prayers at the masjid, and its about 3 & 3/4 miles away, plus the same ride back.

May Allah relieve you and make you patient

Salaam,

 

[Southrn_Muslimah]

.

:salam2: Brother.

I also live in a humid hot temperature, but I just suck it up when I walk a half mile to school (no bus). You are lucky you got a bike lol.I wear lots of clothing but I always think it is probably hotter in Hell. Just make sure you are well hydrated and bring that water bottle with ya. InshaAllah in time Allah (swt) will make it better

Does your uni offer independant study where you can turn in assignments online and only meet up to take a test with a prof? Also try looking for night classes it would help with the heat problem.


Sarah

Sorry if I may of hurt your feeling with the "suck it up" line.

 

[abdullah young]

advice to my brother

Assalam u alaikum Brother
My name is Abdullah born name Lowrenzo. I am allso new to Islam I did my shahda about six months ago. I am a mexican american and I grew up in the gheto and was involved in wrong things befroe I came to Islam I just want to let you know you are not alone in the struggle i to am going basikly what you are going through. i can find no job because of my past. I did my Shahah at the islamic organization of north america and i now work ther cleaning in the masjid for some money be thank full my brother for what allah has provide for you i can not afford a bike or a car i walk 3 miles every day to the masjid and three back. my familly does not support me being a muslim because i was not born a muslim my old friends and familly tell me i am a traider to my mexican people because i am in islam to act like a arab. thank allah my grandparents let me live in there basement. sometimes i fell like a bum because i will be 19 soon and i live in my grandparents basement. but try to be postive in life brother when you wake up each day dont think what bad will happen this day but think what good will happen this day. thank allah for what you do have in life every thing even the things we take for granted. the air we take for granted every day thank allah for air for if allah wanted to take the air we breath we would not be able to live. think about people who dont have house at all let alone a bike or car to share with there wife. in the Holy Quran there is a verse Sura Al-Baqarah , Ayat 214
do ye think that ye shall enter the gardin of bliss without such trials as came to those who passed away before you? they encounterd suffreing and adversity, and were so shaken in spirit that even the messenger and those of faith who where with him cried ''when will come the help of allah? Ah verily, the help of allah is allways near.
MY brother a lot of things we go through is a test. if you think about do you really think you will go to heaven with out allah testing you through trials if allah tested even his prophet to were the prophet cried, then you know you will be tested allah wants to know if you will still have complete faith in him through good and bad times and if you do en sha allah every thing will work out for you allah will bless you for being strong and kepping your faith in him through good an bad times in life. Just remember all the good things in life allah has all ready done for you. Assalam u alaikum brother please write back if you need eney thing.:tti_sister: your brother from detroit michigan email adress abdullah5775*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

 

[alkathiri]

:salam2:

Bro Abdullah , why dont you make a thread under the intro section so that we can get to know you better.

Welcome to the site , brother.

 

[zakiyah]

salam brother.yes it is very hard.instead of going on ur bike why dont u go there by bus.i think that will help inshallah.riding a bike in such a hot weather is hard.
may ALLAH (swt) help u in every way of life .AMEEEEN
wa salam.

 

[Globalpeace]

Why Rant???

ok.

i don't know if anyone has been following any of the posts i have posted within the last few months.

but my wife and i are new Muslims.

we married right after she converted to Islam, (we were dating)

and we are both 19.

well, we live in a rural area in my fathers house and we pay him rent.

we have been working for a year since we got out of high school, and we are no further ahead than we were before.

i have managed to take a few classes at the community college.

not getting ahead, we have decided to move to Tampa Florida ( we live in palm coast)

we are trying to secure an apartment that is about a mile away from the university of south Florida (usf) should be living there within the next month if all works out.

i sold my vehicle to pay for moving expenses and secure a few months rent.

i bought a bicycle. and i am planning to ride it to school(if i ever get there) and work.

my wife has a car we will share.

we both work here, she secured a job there, i haven't yet.

i am becoming more and more depressed thinking about having to ride my bike around town.

i am very sensitive to the humidity and Tampa is really humid.

i moved there because the university has a strong msa.

and there are lots of Muslims in the area.

i planned on using the bus system but when i got there i found out the nearest bus stop was the university itself(like a mile away)

there is no way we could afford two cars living on our own.

and my mother expects me to go to college and work.

and i have promised to provide my wife a way to study (she has a scholarship)

and i feel sicker and sicker as the time comes to move.

i don't want to go to class all sweaty,

and the nearest businesses are further away.

i want job that has air conditioning and a relaxed environment so i can focus on school. but everything seems far away, and the weather is really hot.

i have driven a car for a long time.

i just dont hink i can do it.

but it is to late and i am really becoming depressed.

i am afraid i just wont go to school.
and i am afraid that i will fail everyone.

my wife is happy because she has a good job there, and a scholarship, and a car.

and i am finding it hard to be happy at all.

i wake up and feel like i wish i would never wake up at all.

i physically feel sick at work, and i cant stop thinking about it.

this is all kind of personal, but i don't know who else to talk about it with.

ps. all advise is welcome but please don't tell me to get used to the heat.

i cant,i suffered from this as a child, and it doesn't go away.the only thing that helped was using a car with air conditioning.


and also if anyone here lives in Tampa(near usf) tell me i would like to ask some questions pertaining to the area.

Asslamo Allaikum,


Please don’t take this message as I am tougher or I am better then you etc.

I am an immigrant who came to Florida at the age of 14 (with 51 Dollars in my pocket) and worked 17 hours (on Saturday & Sunday, that’s each day & not combined) and worked 9-11 every weekday to pay for my tuition fees (because I was an International student) & to pay for my mother & younger brother as my father had died & to help out the family while struggling with my accent and learning English in a foreign country with no friends.

Then I ran away from home...

You have it cosy that you actually have a bike, have someone to talk to (your wife) and speak the language, know the system and don’t have to survive by beating rednecks who make fun of your accent and the colour of your skin.

I didn’t sit around sulk and rant; I got on with my life and struggled and struggled…

Every time some RedNeck put me down, I fought back harder and got back up…

Count your blessings, there are thousands of immigrants who come to Florida each year and MAKE IT while being chased by racists, police & immigration and work long hours for petty money.

At the age of 35, I still have marks on my skin on working in the bakery in Hot Oven and burning my hands & being in absolute pain, gritting my teeth and getting on with it....

You know why?

BECAUSE me & the family needed FOOD & my younger brother needed a bike!

As an immigrant if I can turn my life around in a foreign land from an absolutely hopeless position and situation, then you SHOULD do better.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Son, I have followed every one of your posts. You have come a long way. Now keep on moving. Baby, they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I used to walk home three miles every night at midnight from a job while in college and you know the neighborhood was not nice..back then I was a girl. A mile is a 20 minute walk. SO you sweat..take an extra shirt in your backpack.
Do not look at the hurdles..jump over them. You have made so many good decisions...come now...let me know what your GPA is..that is more important for you right now.

 

[Amirah84]

:salam2:

Brother you can do it InshaAllah. The journey to attain your goals in life are not always easy but be positive and work at it. Don't look at things and think " I can't do it". Rather think " How do I do it?" Be determined.

Look at the positives first, and the negatives are just hurdles that you have to jump over as mirajmom said. And then once you get there you will appreciate the experience and would have learnt much.

One thing that I find amazing are the lifestories of the brothers and sisters on the forum. We have so much to learn from each other.

 

[somewhatinspired]

what i needed.

thanks guys.

i wasn't searching for sympathy, just a little push.

some of you made me realize how stupid Americans must sound when they complain.

but non the less thanks a lot.

as a side note i mentioned that the bus stop was actually at the university.whch doesnt help me get there.

and right now i ride my bike over 3 miles to work, and i ride my bike all over town. but i work physical labor so it doesn't matter the condition i am in when i get there.

i don't plan on doing such a laborious job in Tampa, and thats one of the reasons i am concerned, i want to be presentable at work and school.

my problem is when i ride my bike i don't really sweat but as soon as i cool off i do. its really embarrassing, because all the sudden people are asking me if i am alright and telling me to sit down and relax. then i get all nervous and it just gets worse.

i dunno.

i mean you guys are all correct, and i may be making a big deal out of nothing, but to me this is really serious.

i am a notoriously clean person, i shower 3 times more than most, ive been known to wash my hands as a kid so much that my hands were raw and i had to be forced not to. i change my clothes up to twice a day.

a lot of that will never change, i have obsessive compulsive disorder.

i guess for me school was always a time when i was looking and feeling my best.i wore my cleanest looking clothing and made sure that i was very presentable. i reserved gym glass for the last class of he day and drove home afterwards before anyone could see me.

this situation to me is very stressful.

the thought of it is causing a lot of anxiety.

i just wish i could move to a dry climate i don't mind the heat, it's really just the humidity.

anyway,


thanks for the support.

i really appreciate it.

 

[OmarTheFrench]

:salam2:

You need support bro, I know whart you live, sometimes there is things who are hard for you but seem insignifant for others, but keep patience, if your wife have a better situation with time your situation will become better too.

Allah will help you insha allah

 

[Globalpeace]

BE a Man & DEAL with it!

thanks guys.

i wasn't searching for sympathy, just a little push.

some of you made me realize how stupid Americans must sound when they complain.

but non the less thanks a lot.

as a side note i mentioned that the bus stop was actually at the university.whch doesnt help me get there.

and right now i ride my bike over 3 miles to work, and i ride my bike all over town. but i work physical labor so it doesn't matter the condition i am in when i get there.

i don't plan on doing such a laborious job in Tampa, and thats one of the reasons i am concerned, i want to be presentable at work and school.

my problem is when i ride my bike i don't really sweat but as soon as i cool off i do. its really embarrassing, because all the sudden people are asking me if i am alright and telling me to sit down and relax. then i get all nervous and it just gets worse.

i dunno.

i mean you guys are all correct, and i may be making a big deal out of nothing, but to me this is really serious.

i am a notoriously clean person, i shower 3 times more than most, ive been known to wash my hands as a kid so much that my hands were raw and i had to be forced not to. i change my clothes up to twice a day.

a lot of that will never change, i have obsessive compulsive disorder.

i guess for me school was always a time when i was looking and feeling my best.i wore my cleanest looking clothing and made sure that i was very presentable. i reserved gym glass for the last class of he day and drove home afterwards before anyone could see me.

this situation to me is very stressful.

the thought of it is causing a lot of anxiety.

i just wish i could move to a dry climate i don't mind the heat, it's really just the humidity.

anyway,


thanks for the support.

i really appreciate it.

Asslamo Allaikum Brother,

Let me repeat again that my intention personally wasn’t to offend you in anyway.

Respected Brother! When you are on the streets of Chicago in Winter at Night, cold, shivering and hungry…obsessive compulsive disorder gets overtaken by the earnest desire to feed yourself & get yourself OUT OF A RUT!

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and take charge and take responsibility.

Allah (SWT) has MADE you a man, deal with it.

There is no such thing in life as a free lunch.

Asking for sympathy is for little girls and leave it to them, Insha’Allah.
You have a wife, BE A MAN!

Look at yourself in the Mirror & PROMISE yourself that YOU will GET YOURSELF out of this situation; that's what I did 17+ years ago!​

 

[virtualeye]

thanks guys.

i wasn't searching for sympathy, just a little push.

some of you made me realize how stupid Americans must sound when they complain.

but non the less thanks a lot.

as a side note i mentioned that the bus stop was actually at the university.whch doesnt help me get there.

and right now i ride my bike over 3 miles to work, and i ride my bike all over town. but i work physical labor so it doesn't matter the condition i am in when i get there.

i don't plan on doing such a laborious job in Tampa, and thats one of the reasons i am concerned, i want to be presentable at work and school.

my problem is when i ride my bike i don't really sweat but as soon as i cool off i do. its really embarrassing, because all the sudden people are asking me if i am alright and telling me to sit down and relax. then i get all nervous and it just gets worse.

i dunno.

i mean you guys are all correct, and i may be making a big deal out of nothing, but to me this is really serious.

i am a notoriously clean person, i shower 3 times more than most, ive been known to wash my hands as a kid so much that my hands were raw and i had to be forced not to. i change my clothes up to twice a day.

a lot of that will never change, i have obsessive compulsive disorder.

i guess for me school was always a time when i was looking and feeling my best.i wore my cleanest looking clothing and made sure that i was very presentable. i reserved gym glass for the last class of he day and drove home afterwards before anyone could see me.

this situation to me is very stressful.

the thought of it is causing a lot of anxiety.

i just wish i could move to a dry climate i don't mind the heat, it's really just the humidity.

anyway,


thanks for the support.

i really appreciate it.

AssalaamuAlaikum,

Brother, May Allah SWT help you in your problems.

Whenever you feel very depressed in life, then just try to think about those Muslims who have lost their whole families, they lost their everything in life. There are disabled Muslims too. Allah SWT gave you perfect arms and legs and good eyes and ears.


Your wife is in good condition while you are not? How about your wife also would be suffering life you or even in a worst condition than you? Would you be more happy? If you love you wife then feel happy that she is at least not suffering like you (that is called real love that you just want to see your beloved one happy at any right cost)

Just to give you a tip about your sweating:

You need wear a skin-tight Tshirt (or undershirt) made of cotton. And over that you should wear a loose Tshirt. When you will get sweat then your skin-tight garment inside will absorb that and make a shielding for the sweat to avoid it go to out Tshirt easily. This way, your cloths will not by looking like you are swimming around.


Wassalaam.

 

[somewhatinspired]

Asslamo Allaikum Brother,

Asking for sympathy is for little girls and leave it to them, Insha’Allah.
You have a wife, BE A MAN!

Look at yourself in the Mirror & PROMISE yourself that YOU will GET YOURSELF out of this situation; that's what I did 17+ years ago!​

[/QUOTE

there is a big difference between sympathy and support.

there was really no need for you to repeat yourself.

i wasn't offended by your attitude.

if my posts annoy you, please don't read them.

 

[somewhatinspired]

AssalaamuAlaikum,

Brother, May Allah SWT help you in your problems.

Whenever you feel very depressed in life, then just try to think about those Muslims who have lost their whole families, they lost their everything in life. There are disabled Muslims too. Allah SWT gave you perfect arms and legs and good eyes and ears.


Your wife is in good condition while you are not? How about your wife also would be suffering life you or even in a worst condition than you? Would you be more happy? If you love you wife then feel happy that she is at least not suffering like you (that is called real love that you just want to see your beloved one happy at any right cost)

thank you brother

 

[Southrn_Muslimah]

.

:salam2: Brother

I am also sorry if I told ya to suck it up. I guess it is different since you said you shower 3 times a day and like to wear your best clothes. I do agree with wearing your best clothes to school. Can you bring extra clothing or wear a tank underneath to absorb the sweat? I usually bring a travel size thing of deoderant just in case and I make sure to get to school early to cool down.

Luckily on my campus everyone is pretty much smelly the first few months and we do not sit close together in classes due to the heat lol.

InshaAllah I hope you resolve your situation and may Allah (swt) make it easy for you.

Wassalaam
Sarah

 

[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

Sorry brother i never read any of your post. I agree with brother virtualeye advice. I also think you should come to school early and cool your body early then change cloths so are you sweat before the classes. Insahllah you will get pass this and look back at some day and laught about. Take peoples symapthies to make yourself stronger. Good Luck and remember everything happens on Allah's power and behind every hard time comes good one.