Trying to explain to non-mehrams why I cannot talk to them.
Though this does not answer Newmuslim question(sorry). It is still about mahram
Question:
Trying to explain to non-mehrams why I cannot talk to them.
Answered by Wajihah Gregor
Bascically I had a lot of male friends but realised that it was islamically wrong. Most of them I classed as only good friends so the conversation were not like boyfriend-girlfriend kind of conversation. But when I became more practicising in Islam I broke of all ties with all of them without giving an explanation. I rather just ignored text messages and blanked any calls. I also changed my number to avoid any contact and alhamdulila I havent spoke to them in a while. But recently some have tried to get in contact whilst others just think I am rude as they do not realise the reason for me stopping any form of communication, now I am worried that they may have ill feelings towards me which is islamically wrong and I may get sin for it as it is my fault for being the person I was before. Do you think I should explain to them the reason for me not wanting to talk to them and why it is islamcally wrong as it may be that they will think twice when talking to other girls or do you think I should just leave it and let them think the way they want about me. Also because I wanted to proper practice my deen I stopped talking to some of my non-practicising female friends as I felt that they were bad company and 'you are who your friends are' is what I kept thinkng to myself but I fear that because I don't talk to some they may feel that I think of them as 'lower' then me (as this is what some have said) although I have astagfirulla never thought that and inshalla never will, but I fear that these non-practicising friends may look at me and feel that me not having as much time for them is because Islam does not like people like them and so they will feel islam is not right for them. this probly doesnt make sense and I dont really know how to explain, my problem isnt what people think or say about me because I honestly dont care about that i just want to know whether I should stay in contact with non-racticising friends even though I know they may lead me to commit sin withou me even knwing it before its too late or should I just stay a distant but be in contact or totally leave them to do what they want. Also shall i explain via email or something like that to non-mehram ex-friends the reason for why I cant talk to them.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful.
With prayers and salutations upon the Best of Creation.
Asalaamu â€کAlaikum wa Rahmatu Llahi wa Barakatuhu â€"
It is important for you to maintain a cordial relationship with all the people you mentioned. Your treatment towards them will reflect on their understanding of Islam.
Gently and directly tell your male acquaintances that you are a practicing Muslim and that it is not permissible for you to have casual friendships with them. Give them an opportunity to ask questions and share their feelings. They may be hurt. As Muslims, we cherish and respect people's emotions and thoughts.
Consider sending them additional information on Islam. Keep the channels of communication open allowing them to ask you questions or conduct follow up. It is permissible to speak with the opposite gender for the sake of education and information. You should be vigilant to keep the conversations focused, directed, and useful.
About the female friends that you have, instead of dropping them, consider altering the dynamic you share with them. Invite them to attend Islamic lectures with you, for example.
The Sunnah of our Beloved Messenger, Allah bless him and give him peace, is to make the best of every situation. Optimize your relationships rather than minimizing them. Allah willing, you will find blessing in your intentions and efforts.
And Allah Knows Best.
http://www.sunnipath.com