Boy or a Girl

:salam2: I am having a baby girl in a few months. I didnt know how much people want a boy till i learned what i was having. My friend is having a baby boy and she is very excited and said i should have asked Allah for a boy. But i only asked that i have a healthy baby. Even relatives say to me we wish it was a boy. Are we not muslims and believe in Allah that girl or a boy they are both a blessing. Another family friend had twin boys. I went to visit her. Her mother was there and said oh boys are nayma of Allah and girls are rehma. In short she was saying that when Allah blesses you with a son it is nayma and a bigger blessing. Why after reading the Quran and believing in Allah muslims talk like this talk. It reminds me of jahiliya even now.What do you guys feel about this.
 

Summer03

3doTs2sQuares
I understand what you are saying... I feel that this only happened back in Yemen but I was wrong I don't like it one bit....and the funny thing is....if everyone wants a boy and all happen to be boys don't u need a female???? I don't know if u guys get me but yea another thing that boys and girls are the best blessing around... Favoring will only set separation within the family and that's not healthy for them.
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:

Inshallah when you have your baby in a few months it will be healthy. A boy or a girl are both blessings because some people cannot have neither. Inshallah next time :):):) you will have a boy, but either why consider yourself blessed.

May Allah protect over you and your unborn child. Ameen

Wasalam Amirah
 

shaheeda35

strive4Jannah
:salam2:

In the times before islam, they used to bury the girls alive. They favored the boys more:astag:! Having a boy OR girl is a blessing from Allah.Thinking this way is not from Islam.

I pray you have a beautiful baby and Allah make it easy for you sis!:blackhijab:
 

New_Muslim

New Member
Many societies (ie. China) consider girls to be less than boys, which is not far. Yes, Allah made man first and then woman, but weren't they created equally?
 

Hard Rock Moslem

I'm your brother
For me, I love my daughther very much because I don't have a sister. I remember my mother wanted a baby girl but Allah gave her all three boys.

Usually Asian societies are more incline for baby boys not baby girl. Unfortunately, to some extend some muslims in some places are still not able to distant themselves from jahiliya. I know some muslims community will ask dowry from girl side not the other way round. This was one of the reason some muslim in some places do not want baby girl. But it is not a sickness for muslim community only but also disease to people from other faiths. I know in China and India they will scan to check gender of the baby, if found to be girl they will abort the baby.

I had watched a southern Indian movie, the story is primarily about in a village where the fathers do not want baby girl (similar to jahiliya Quraish), they will take their newly born baby girl to one old lady. The old lady will give latex to this baby girl to drink and subsequently dies. She will then bury within her house courtyards. It is very touching movie that made my eyes soaked with tears but according to the director, the movie was based on true story in India.

One part of the movie that really strike my heart being a man, is when the heroine said to one of the father who wanted to kill his baby girl, "You need a woman to give you (the father / men in general) birth. You need a woman to sleep with you but you do not want a woman as your child, why!!!? she asked.

Just share my thought, sorry I've offended anyone.
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:


The Prophet (saws) said:
"Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and I will come (together) on the Day of Resurrection - and he interlaced his fingers (meaning in Paradise)." (Reported by Muslim)


Wasalam Amirah
 

gazkour

Junior Member
Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

I find this discrimination atrocious. It is very sad that so much of jahiliya still lurks around many muslims today, specially in some asian cultures,very sad.

May Allah forgive us and guide us all.

Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato
 
:salam2:EVERYONE IS SAYING ASIAN FAMILY HAS THIS PROBLEM. THE TWINS FAMILYWHO I VISITED IS ASIAN . BUT MY SIDE IS ARAB SO IT IS NOT JUST ASIA BUT MIDDLE EAST. THEY SAY IT OPENLY I DONT WANT A GIRL I HOPE IT IS A BOY. I FEEL SO SHOCKED. SOMETIMES I FEEL HAVE THEY NOT READ THE QURAN. BUT IF THEY HAVE READ IT AND STILL DO THIS IT IS EVEN WORSE.
 

salek

Junior Member
congratulations!!! baby girls are superior in islam

:salam2:EVERYONE IS SAYING ASIAN FAMILY HAS THIS PROBLEM. THE TWINS FAMILYWHO I VISITED IS ASIAN . BUT MY SIDE IS ARAB SO IT IS NOT JUST ASIA BUT MIDDLE EAST. THEY SAY IT OPENLY I DONT WANT A GIRL I HOPE IT IS A BOY. I FEEL SO SHOCKED. SOMETIMES I FEEL HAVE THEY NOT READ THE QURAN. BUT IF THEY HAVE READ IT AND STILL DO THIS IT IS EVEN WORSE.

at first i congratulate to you that you are having a baby. there are some hadith that says girls are kind of blessings from Allah and parents will be rewarded by Allah if they raise the girl in islamic way. i think it's not the problem of asia but everywhere people like baby boy. i live in western country, here we see everyone is so blind after baby boy. they also want baby boy. rather, muslim people, like baby girls than other community. but there are still some people, still think the age of jahelliah. it's just for the reason, that they are not good muslim. i have two daughters, i am happy with them. i still remember that i was the most happiest person in the world when i heard the gender of my first child. as we think, if someone has a baby girl, he is very fortunate and blessed by Allah.
 

Nurain

Junior Member
Narrated Asma Bint Abi Bakar: I saw Zaid bin ‘Amr bin Nufail standing with his back against the Ka’bah and saying “O people of Quraish! By Allah, none amongst you is on the religion of Abraham except me.” She added: He (Zaid) used to preserve the lives of little girls; If somebody wanted to kill his daughter he would say to him, “Do not kill her for I will feed her on your behalf.” So he would take her, and when she grew up nicely, he would say to her father, “Now if you will (wish) I will give her to you, and if you will (wish), I will feed her on your behalf. “ (Sahih Al Bukhari Vol 5 Hadith no. 169)
 

palestine

Servant of Allah
This is a cultural practice in the homes of many families. It is truly sad. Even some of my relatives or should i say most, wish for boys. I have asked many of them why they are very sexist as i consider it. and they all answer saying that girls are just gonna grow up to be married off, but that boys will work and bring home the "money" or whatever type of wealth they like. However i see this as being wrong. It hurts me really bad because then in my mind i think to myself "women are only being used for the purpose of sex and not because they are being loved" this is how it makes me feel. and this is when i think to myself that "All men are jerks" (no offense guys..just the way i feel sometimes). However some of the people whom i've asked why they want boys have told me that it's because they want the boys to protect their daughters so that no man will bother their daughters. I'll be honest that whenever i hear men or women asking Allah for a boy just because "boys" are perceived as being better and "less disgraceful" that it makes me so anger to the point that i start to hate on all men and it leads me to think that i NEVER EVER wanna get married. Wallahi it hurts me so deep in the heart that i feel useless sometimes. It's an unfair judgement they're making. My relatives and I fight over this everytime (i basically start yelling and it shuts them up.lol not that it's good).
Asalamu alaykum wrwb.
 

etoile_de_mer

Junior Member
Assalaamu Alaykum wr wb sister..tell u what ! ppl are never satisfied...i know how u feel..my mom went thru that too..she had 3 daughters...and everybody in the family used to laugh at her ..now she has 4 grandsons..i have 2 sons and i'm happy with Allah's choice...but my in laws wanted a girl...so they made me cry when i was pregnant they said that girls are better they care for parents etc...
i was really sad..but then my husband helped me and we both know that it's Allah's choice!
don't care about these talk sister,,,,make ur child a good muslim...it is this that counts in front of Allah (swt)!
take care!
 

Idris16

Junior Member
and this is when i think to myself that "All men are jerks" (no offense guys..just the way i feel sometimes). Asalamu alaykum wrwb.
:salam2:
For me that wasnt an offense
Because how many times do we hear guys r jerks? Many times i say!
If i would create a poll abt this, every female here would say guys r jerks!!

:wasalam:
 

Miss_Ayub

Junior Member
salaam

i know what you mean.. i only prefer girls coz i have 4 brothers.. but when i have my own child [InshAllah] like you said i would only pray for a healthy baby

wasalaam

Nafeesa
 

RabiALLAH

La Ilaha Illa ALLAH
congratulations!! May ALLAH bless your newly baby girl



congratulation , May ALLAH swt bless her, and make her from those who are rightouse, and ALL PRAICE BE TO ALLAH for his gifts

yes sister you have the right to be angery and sad

this is very common here in arab countries more than any other places, this is JAHAL, and
boys and girls are Niaama from ALLAH swt, a blessing , many parents pray ALLAH day and night to have a baby, only one healthy baby, some wait for long years waiting for that great event
in my work i am so colse to hospitals
i know so many parents, spent all their savings, selling their houses and properities to provide medication to thier newly born babies, who born with sever Congenital malformations ,some lose them after six or seven months after all that,,, what a waste!!! hamdulillah

it is a great niaama from ALLAH to have a healthy baby girl or boy, and i am so sorry for those who think like that, may ALLAH guide us all ameen
 

palestine

Servant of Allah
That is an offense, sister, because you said "all." Many men are jerks for sure, but many still are wonderful people. Don't let culture cloud your faith. God says in the holy Qur'aan, "And believing men and believing women are the supporters of one another." (9:71) Men who hurt women, physically or emotionally, violate the last words of the prophet, peace be upon him, "Mind the prayer! Mind the prayer! And fear God in [matters of] women!"

I'm sorry akhi. i know this is offensive in many ways. and i know there are many wonderful men out there but i just wish that for once the many men whom i meet either in school, public or relatives would just be grateful and show gratitude to Allah rather than complain about how girls are less than boys. asalamu alaykum wrwb and jazakAllahu khayran.
 

Kakorot

Junior Member
:salam2:

Mabrook sister!! :jumpclap: your having a baby girl! alhamdulillaah. I personally wouldn't mind if i have a boy or girl first, what matters to me is that the baby is healthy InshaAllaah like you said. Yes, it's true many Muslims these days follow their culture etc and may not understand Islam properly, may Allaah guide them InshaAllaah.
InshaAllaah look forward to having a girl. InshaAllaah she can be a role model for your other kids if you have more in the future InshaAllaah. :hearts: take care x
 
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