Danger Of Not Geting Married [ Sh Haitham ] Khutbah Al Risaala Masjid Islington 01-06-12

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

This has to be one of the most profound and simple videos posted. He speaks the truth. This has to be a must watch for everyone.

May Allah reward you for posting this. This is important in the message it sends for communities in the west.
 

~Muslimah~

Junior Member
Assalam alaikum
Masha'Allah, Jazakallah for posting, it's very useful.
May Allah reward you, brother :)
 

Abdullah Espanol

Junior Member
Assalaam alaikum,

This has to be one of the most profound and simple videos posted. He speaks the truth. This has to be a must watch for everyone.

May Allah reward you for posting this. This is important in the message it sends for communities in the west.

Yes my sis it is true the people who where in the masjid benefits alot from this kudeba Yesterday
 

Itqan Ullah

Time is Running!!
Asslamaliekum warahmatullahi wabrakatu,
Is he the same guy, who is admin at mutaqa ahlehadeeth? (just curious)
Jzk..
 

thariq2005

Praise be to Allah!
Asslamaliekum warahmatullahi wabrakatu,
Is he the same guy, who is admin at mutaqa ahlehadeeth? (just curious)
Jzk..

Wa `alaykum salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh

No that is Shaykh Haytham Hamdan. This is shaykh Haytham al-Haddad.
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
Firstly, the Quran is clear. Allah SWT has created mates for us so that we may dwell in tranquility together. He has created mates so that we may be each others labaas...protection, warmth, cover. He has created husbands so as to protect and maintain wives.

The purpose of marriage, is as stated in the Quran. Having children is icing on the cake.

This man is wrong when he says that the most beloved by Allah are those who have children. The Quran says Allah gives forth children to whom He chooses, and leaves barren whom He chooses.
And, some of the most precious and beloved people in Islam neither married nor had children. Maryam, the prophet Isa, I believe yahya did not have children (must confirm). Do you think Aisha was less beloved in the eyes of the Prophet and Muslims because she did not have children? That she remained unmarried for the rest of her life after the Holy Prophet died?

And, all timelines belong to Allah. Sometimes marriage does not happen during a woman's childbearing years...and that is Allah's will. And here's a news flash. Well brought up children will not "give in" to their desires and commit zina.

Secondly, ths imam goes on and on about the propensity of girls to fall into zina. I grew up with many many Muslim girls here in the west and we didnt run around with boyfriends the minute we were out of our parents' sight. To the contrary, it was well known in our community that the boys were running around with non Muslim girls. It is rampant in Muslim immigrant communites in the west...the boys sleep around and then either marry "converts" or they marry nice pretty virginal girls from good Muslim families. This imam likely has not lived in the west for 40 years like I have.

Parents must learn to reign in their sons. Most western raised Muslim girls I know are nothing like the girls mentioned by this imam. All this imam is doing is perpetuating a stereotype and diverting the focus on the real issues, which is proper control by the parents, installing good values in children so they can maintain their virginity, and, most importantly, helping their daughters find spouses when the daughters wish to get married. The imam's suggestion that teenagers get married and maintain separate residences but meet up on weekends to "fulfill their emotional needs" is ridiculous. Marriage creates a spousal unit and, if God wills, a family unit with children. It automatically puts obligations on the husband to extend financial support to his wife. If you are a teenager, marriage makes you an adult. It is not a weekend-only sexfest.
 

Abdullah Espanol

Junior Member
Firstly, the Quran is clear. Allah SWT has created mates for us so that we may dwell in tranquility together. He has created mates so that we may be each others labaas...protection, warmth, cover. He has created husbands so as to protect and maintain wives.

The purpose of marriage, is as stated in the Quran. Having children is icing on the cake.

This man is wrong when he says that the most beloved by Allah are those who have children. The Quran says Allah gives forth children to whom He chooses, and leaves barren whom He chooses.
And, some of the most precious and beloved people in Islam neither married nor had children. Maryam, the prophet Isa, I believe yahya did not have children (must confirm). Do you think Aisha was less beloved in the eyes of the Prophet and Muslims because she did not have children? That she remained unmarried for the rest of her life after the Holy Prophet died?

And, all timelines belong to Allah. Sometimes marriage does not happen during a woman's childbearing years...and that is Allah's will. And here's a news flash. Well brought up children will not "give in" to their desires and commit zina.

Secondly, ths imam goes on and on about the propensity of girls to fall into zina. I grew up with many many Muslim girls here in the west and we didnt run around with boyfriends the minute we were out of our parents' sight. To the contrary, it was well known in our community that the boys were running around with non Muslim girls. It is rampant in Muslim immigrant communites in the west...the boys sleep around and then either marry "converts" or they marry nice pretty virginal girls from good Muslim families. This imam likely has not lived in the west for 40 years like I have.

Parents must learn to reign in their sons. Most western raised Muslim girls I know are nothing like the girls mentioned by this imam. All this imam is doing is perpetuating a stereotype and diverting the focus on the real issues, which is proper control by the parents, installing good values in children so they can maintain their virginity, and, most importantly, helping their daughters find spouses when the daughters wish to get married. The imam's suggestion that teenagers get married and maintain separate residences but meet up on weekends to "fulfill their emotional needs" is ridiculous. Marriage creates a spousal unit and, if God wills, a family unit with children. It automatically puts obligations on the husband to extend financial support to his wife. If you are a teenager, marriage makes you an adult. It is not a weekend-only sexfest.

Sis mashallah may Allah bless u , u said the imam dont know about the west like i know , let me tell u about the imam history and tell me if u r more knowlageble person than him plz

Haitham al-Haddad is a London-based Islamic Scholar and Muslim community leader. He was born and raised in Saudi Arabia and is of Palestinian origin. Shaykh Haitham sits on the board of advisors for a number of Islamic organizations in the United Kingdom including the Islamic Sharia Council and currently holds the position of chair and operations advisor for the Muslim Research and Development Foundation. He has studied Islamic sciences under the tutelage of various scholars. Shaykh Haitham holds a BSc Honours in Law and Sharia from Omdurman University in Khartoum, Sudan. He also holds a Bsc in Computer Science from King Fahd University of Petroleum and Minerals (Saudi Arabia) and is currently reading his PHD in Islamic Law at SOAS in London. Shaykh Haitham is qualified to deliver religious verdicts with a specialism in Islamic Jurisprudence and its principles, Islamic law and Islamic finance. The Shaykh is also one of the trustees for MRDF.
Sheikh Haitham al-Haddad looks at the recent controversy surrounding the burqa or niqab and responds to those who call for it to be banned. The Sheikh advices Muslims how to respond to the media onslaught according to the Quranic methodology. - The definition of the burqa or niqaab. - The evidences from the Quran for the burqa. - The danger is interpreting the Quran without the guidance of the sunnah. - The media onslaught against the burqaa. - The Quranic methodology in refuting attacks against Islam. - The dangers of the modernist approach.
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
Brother, this is not about who is more knowledgeable. However, I think it is highly relevant that this person has not spent his life in the west, having lived in Saudi, Khartoum, etc.

The imam talked about youth in the west. I was born and raised in the west. That is not a perspective you learn in a niversity in Sudan.

Secondly, in regards to what I said about marriage in the Quran, are you saying that the Quran is incorrect? In fact, Maryam was and is a revered figure.

This sermon was from a certain perspective: if you do not ge your kids married young, the girls will prance around ripping off their hijabs and sleep with all sorts of creatures, and oh you can have a nikah and then meet up with your spouse on holidays. Weekend marriages, and spend the weekdays with mummy and daddy? Where in the Quran and Hadith does Islam say THAT? The imam did not quote any Hadith or quranic verse to support that suggestion.

Brother, we don't have a clergy class in Islam. We dont have popes that make the rules. Imams lead prayers and give khutbahs. But we don't elevate their status to that of a prophet or companion.
 

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
Assalamo alaikum wa rahmatullah (May the best peace and blessings be upon you) sister

Firstly it is very vital that we propagate this greeting regardless of the environment we are in. If someone initiates the greeting then It is obligatory for the person who is greeted to respond back in an equal or better way.


The imam's suggestion that teenagers get married and maintain separate residences but meet up on weekends to "fulfill their emotional needs" is ridiculous.
if you do not ge your kids married young, the girls will prance around ripping off their hijabs and sleep with all sorts of creatures, and oh you can have a nikah and then meet up with your spouse on holidays. Weekend marriages, and spend the weekdays with mummy and daddy? Where in the Quran and Hadith does Islam say THAT? The imam did not quote any Hadith or quranic verse to support that suggestion.

What you have called **Ridiculous** is considered by many (including myself) to be one the best and practical solutions for those living in the west. But remember it is not the only solution, rather it is one of the solution.


Having children is icing on the cake.
This man is wrong when he says that the most beloved by Allah are those who have children.

The importance of children could be realized from the fact that they are one of the source for us to enter Jannah. There are numerous hadith about this subject, however I would only like to share one

“Whoever has two daughters and treats them kindly, they will be a protection for him against the Fire.”

Brother, we don't have a clergy class in Islam. We dont have popes that make the rules. Imams lead prayers and give khutbahs. But we don't elevate their status to that of a prophet or companion.

At the same time they deserve our utmost respect. They might be speaking with knowledge and we may be speaking with merely emotions.
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
Assalamo alaikum wa rahmatullah (May the best peace and blessings be upon you) sister

Firstly it is very vital that we propagate this greeting regardless of the environment we are in. If someone initiates the greeting then It is obligatory for the person who is greeted to respond back in an equal or better way.




What you have called **Ridiculous** is considered by many (including myself) to be one the best and practical solutions for those living in the west. But remember it is not the only solution, rather it is one of the solution.

Walaikum assalam,
Of course it's a solution brother...but moral restraints trumps part time "marriage" (basically, the purpose of the nikah would be to have sex. Like a mutua marriage). The issue I am raising is, where is the substantiation in Quran and sunnah? The imam, and yourself, are encouraging part-time marriage as a means of fulfilling needs. Where is this example set out in Quran and sunnah? And it's a solution for Muslims in the west and not elsewhere? Remember that when islam came to Arabia, Muslims were a minority in a land and culture that was immoral, women wore tunics that exposed their breasts, etc. The challenges for new Muslims at that time were enormous. So was this suggestion practiced at that time?
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
Assalamo alaikum wa rahmatullah (May the best peace and blessings be upon you) sister




The importance of children could be realized from the fact that they are one of the source for us to enter Jannah. There are numerous hadith about this subject, however I would only like to share one

“Whoever has two daughters and treats them kindly, they will be a protection for him against the Fire.”

Brother, you're not understanding my comments. I did not say that children are not important. I said that Allah loves childless people just as much as people with children, and that the Quran refers to marriage as a source of companionship and protection rather than proliferation of the species.

Look, I'm not suggesting you agree with me. I'm not going to sit here and admit that in Islam I should not get married because I am past my childbearing years. This imam can suggest that but I know from the Quran that he is wrong. People get married at all ages and learn to preserve their chastity in the interim. And, the holy prophet married a 40 year old woman, Khadijah, well past her prime, and she went on to have several daughters despite her age.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Asalaam alaikum,

What the brother addressed were many issues.

First and foremost he was discussing the need for marriage in Islam. He stated that marriage is the backbone of society.
He then suggested that we remember the need for marriage. He stated one was to bear children such that Islam propagates constantly. We need children to keep the faith going.
He stated the hadith about marrying a woman who is fertile. He also stated that a man should marry more than one. If one is unable to bear children she can still have the protection of marriage.

He was on point about marrying early. He did not play around with his words. He was correct the children raised in the west are all about marrying Muslims and not the person of the same nationality. It was directed to parents. And I am glad you brought up the Lady Aisha. She remained with her parents until she was ready.

He is a man and understands the needs that males have. It was very practical advice.

The imam never stated you should not get married if you are past childbearing years. His focus was on the younger generation that are hot and heavy. They do not have the insights to protect themselves from fornication. In mixed societies they are bombarded with messages to have sex. He was also correct on another issue. We do not know what are children are doing 24/7.

His message must have been very strong. My sons actually paid attention. I told them they could marry whenever they wanted. They rolled their eyes but they paid attention to his message.

And I loved how he reminded us that those of us who are not married..How much Allah loves us and aids us.
 

Thauban

Junior Member
As'alaamu Alaikkum

It is clear that marriage is not for everyone. Yes, the human beings must procreate for the benefit of the species and the majority of human beings do that but there are a tiny minority who do not for various reasons. As the Sheikh quoted Ibn Masud (ra) some of the companions were forbidden to marry just for the simple reason that they could not afford to do so.

The solution for your young sons and daughters to not to fall into zina is not to marry them off at sixteen years of age. For a successful marriage to last both parties must be emotionally mature and must know what a marriage entails. I believe young people will not will not commit zina according to their nature. There are many pious young men and woman who follow the right path, similarly there are just as many who do not and follow the ways of the kufr.

I agree with many of the points raised by sis Precious Star.

As'alaamu Alaikkum
 

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
Assalamo alaikum sister

I did not say that children are not important. I said that Allah loves childless people just as much as people with children, and that the Quran refers to marriage as a source of companionship and protection rather than proliferation of the species.

The above quoted post makes much more sense. The message that I got after reading your previous post is that **if some thing is true then its opposite is also true**. Just as an example

1) Most beloved to Allah are those who have children
your response (the way I perceived it): So those who don't have children are not beloved
This man is wrong when he says that the most beloved by Allah are those who have children

but moral restraints trumps part time "marriage" (basically, the purpose of the nikah would be to have sex. Like a mutua marriage).

What morals are we talking about here? How can you label this type of marriage as part time marriage? and how did you conclude that the sole purpose is to have intimacy?

You have compared this to Mutua. What knowledge do you have about it? and how can you compare the two's ?

The issue I am raising is, where is the substantiation in Quran and sunnah? The imam, and yourself, are encouraging part-time marriage as a means of fulfilling needs. Where is this example set out in Quran and sunnah? And it's a solution for Muslims in the west and not elsewhere? Remember that when islam came to Arabia, Muslims were a minority in a land and culture that was immoral, women wore tunics that exposed their breasts, etc. The challenges for new Muslims at that time were enormous. So was this suggestion practiced at that time?

Please analyze the marriage of Prophet Muhammad to Ayesha (RA). You will find many answer to your questions?

wassalam
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Asalaam alaikum,

The imam is being realistic. I wonder how many of the those who are in disagreement have talked to the youth. The imam was not out in left field. He works out solutions to problems.

The imam was specific to the issues of the west. The youth are challenged. He did not say all young people should marry. He stated if they needed to and that the parents need to understand that marriage should not be delayed for studies. How often is that the subject of threads on TTI.

Emotional maturity for marriage means each male would have to wait until they are 40, correct.

What we have done is allowed our greed to replace common sense; if there are youth who are willing to undertake responsibility for the sake of their faith let them do so. It is not for everybody.

Precious Star the imam did not discuss temporary marriage. He was discussing the financial issues. It is radical thinking isn't it; to allow your daughter to marry at a young age and continue her studies.

Did we watch the same video? As for Yahya...if we can get anything we desire in heaven..well that is the one I want.
 
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