Daughter not keen on Hijab

[zulmh]

:
:salam2:

I am new to this site. I sent a thread yestreday entitled; Let US be Muslims: and so far have not seen any repliy or response to it.

Anyway need to share this problem that I amhaving: I ahve 3 grown up children and a young son They are observing the 5 times daily prayers, fasting in Ramadhan and the rest except for my daughters who are not keen to ut on the scarf or hijab.

I have spoken and show them the suarah in the quran which stipultes the need for matured female to cover thier aurah and the likes.

I need some advice as to how can I make my daughters see the relevance and the mandatory requirement to wear the scarf or hijab.

I would welcome any form of advice.



Zulmh

 

[afnan]

:salam2:
brother u ask ur wife for help. so far we have seen thet mother is rather more attached to daughter than father can be . so both of you can convince her , but one thing to remember do not treat her harsh cos it can frustrate her.

 

[Karima]

Asalamualikum,

It would be helpful for your daughter to have a friend who also wears a hijab, then she might not feel so strange doing this.

Your example of a mother who can understand why your daughter does not want to do this, can be a start of how you can communicate with her, by not forcing something she does not want to do.

You do want her to wear a hijab in the best interest of Islam and of her protection and respect. I understand this....and it is difficult to see her not wanting to do this.

I have a daughter, who is not muslim, and she continues to put small tattoos on her body....I cannot stand this....and it is haram!!! This is something that she has chosen to do....which is horrible for me to see her do to her precious body. She knows I disagree with her, and even though she is 21, it still bothers me that she chooses to do this. I pray for Allah to direct her and help her....see where she is doing wrong in this.

So do not feel alone in your wishes for your daughter.

Sallam

 

[shous]

Asalamualikum,

It would be helpful for your daughter to have a friend who also wears a hijab, then she might not feel so strange doing this.



Sallam

This is GREAT advice! make sure she has friends that wear Hijab.
Depending on where she goes to school it may be hard for her! In a American public school it may be to much of a hardship for her without like minded friends. Often kids wont tell there parents about taunting and teasing, maybe she fears this?
I grew up overweight in school so I know that the kids can be very cruel and hurtful. (at least in american schools)

 

[Mabsoot]

Assalamu alaykum,

If your daughter does not wear the hijab, have patience. Make sure she understands Islam. There is no need to shout or get mad at her, this will just increase the distance between you. Alhamdulilah, they pray and do the most important duties in Islam, mashaAllah. This is a big ni3ma, "blessing" from Allah (subhana wa ta'ala)

The Hijab, like other actions we do in Islam stem from our level of iman, which is a word for "faith". And this can be affected in a number of ways. From the friends we keep, through to the time we take to read our prayers and read or study the Quran.

That is why, many non-Muslims and even Muslims, unfortunately, do not understand HOW Muslims pray 5x a day. You will hear them saying, "Oh my God, how can you read your prayers 5x a day?... Why do you Fast in Ramadan" - For the unaquanted it is seen as a chore or a punishment - In reality, it is easy for us because we understand why we do it, and do it through our obedience and love of God. - This has come from our faith becoming stronger and with us understanding it. Furthermore, we understand our purpose in life and are committed to attaining the best life in this world and in the next, inshaAllah. -

Likewise, an action such as the hijab, requires the same steadfastness and appreciation of the actions. This comes from a solid foundation based upon an understanding of Islam and how it is a part of our lives. The love for Islam. To understand that we were created by Allah, that he alone has the power to make our lives better and to help mankind. That he is the most merciful, the bestower of Mercy, the most Gracious and the most Kind. -

So really this is important for every single Muslim, that we reflect upon our lives, the insignificance of our existance on this planet compared to what is the reality of our situation. That Allah created us to worship him, and that we have a next life to prepare for. Also, one can reflect upon the generations and civillisations that went before us, how some of them followed the Prophets sent to them, and how others did not and how these vast and powerful people eventually faded away and were destroyed.....

So, with you telling your daughter this is not allowed, and that this is mentioned in Quran will have little effect, if she does not have the correct foundation.

Although, of course, Allah is the only one who can put us on the straight path and to guide us, so if Allah wills perhaps it could work, Allah knows best.

But, i would suggest that you make sure your children have Islam rooted into their lives and they understand its significance. This is difficult to achieve especially in the West... But, this can come about if you become much more involved in Islam at home and in any Muslim community nearby. Talk about Islam at home, learn about the seerah(biography) of the Prophet and his family.. get books about that.. etc. Take your children to Islamic events, conferences.. try and get them to make friends with other Muslims.

If this is difficult, then you must focus a lot more at increasing Islam at home and producing an Islamic enviroment. Subtle actions such as this can make big difference. If the enviroment you are in is such that it has detrimental effect on your family, then it is wise to move to a neighbourhood closer to Islamic amenities. Best, is to move to an Islamic country, there are many such places which have excellent standard of living and good job opportunities such as the UAE, Kuwait or Qatar.

One of the nicest things that can help raise Iman is to actually visit a Muslim country. This can have good effect, especially if you visit the holy cities of Makkah and Madinah. They will be able to see Muslims from all over the world, from Africa through to Australia.. this is a good Iman Boost

 

[zulmh]

Daughters not keen on Hijab


:salam2:


Dear brithers and sisters in Islam, I am very grateful for all your advice and will take the necessary steps to folow through. I am simply facinated by this site as it pprovide a very effective ways to interact with fellow Muslims and to share your problems, your joys and your discoveries.

And I pray and dua thatthsi site will continue to flourish as a mean for all Muslims to be the Ummah of Rasullulah SAW and adhere to the Quran and Hadith.

 

[Jalila_mustafa]

salam,
ok im not sure if my advice will help u but inshahallah it should,
im onli 15
and i started to wear my hijab at 13 my brother always kept tellin me to wear a hijhab,keptt being in my face about it and i always said noo!!!

But nw i do wear a hijhab because i want to do so because i knw why im wearing it i knw the importance of it myself
not cause someone was tellin me over and over again

salam
Jalila

 

[MOHAMED KAY]

Daughter not keen on Jilbab

:salam2:

Dear Zulmh

Continue doa for them. The best place to put your doa is in your last sujood and before salaam. If I am not wrong, you can find in saheeh Bohari or Muslim. InsyAllah, your prayers will be answered.

 

[sugarbb]

Assalammualaikum brother,

i read the Quran and it opened my heart to wear the hijab, Alhamdulillah ! IT just came to me that i must do it, i have to, as i read more about the descriptions of hell-fire and jannah in the Quran, the more i fear not wearing the hijab and trying to be a better muslim. Alhamdulillah. There is no way you can force a person to wear a hijab. It has to come from inside (faith).Try to talk nicely to your daughter, try a soft approach and recommend reading the Al Quran., InsyaAllah, Allah knows Best. :tti_sister:

 

[kayleigh]

I agree with whoever said to have patience. Don't get angry or punish her and don't force her. If she wears it without understanding or want to, then I think the value of it is mostly lost.

Find a younger girl closer to the age of your daughters who can maybe explain why she should wear it and all its benefits. Your daughters will probably be more interested in listening to girls their age who go through the same stuff they do as opposed to older women who have a different life and who, in their view, don't have as much in common with them.

 

[Jalila_mustafa]

sorry i cnt spell,:shymuslima1:
"nw" should be "Knw"

 

[ScotsMuslim]

brother... jus have patience! Allah will direct her!... jus dont force her.. or keep goinon about it.. bcus then she will not be interted.. bring her to islam... islam will bring her hijab... hijab will bring her sawab... sawab will bring her the love of Allah Allah Hu Akhbar!

 

[Rosheen]

sorry i cnt spell,:shymuslima1:
"nw" should be "Knw"

lol, you also seem to leave the vowels out as well. There is an A in can't and an O in know.