Duties of women towards men?
- Thread starter Sophie29
- Start date
hager
Junior Member
salam
well
i'm 18..i don't know alotttt about marriage...
but,i'll tell u...how i wants my life to be...when i get married?
and u might learn..or something
well,in marriage..the husband..'s not the desicion maker...
both of us..should discuss everything in our life
if his desicion were right...okey,i'll respect that...alotttttttttt
but..i should but in the picture of discussion..
because...if my kids..see that he's the one he say YES..NO..and their mommy doesn't have any opinion...
i wouldn't be good example..then...and they will make the same with their wives..
and about our life:it's supposed bluid it in Trust...honesty,
when anyone of us..make a fault..he admit...Never Deny...
about hijab..i don't understand ur quiz?
but..if my husband..doesn't like my hijab style...i'll ask him
"what would make u ,happy...in my hijab..and i'll hone it...as u want,my sweet husband?"
because...
any man...he want his wife..for him only....that's why mens..get jealous always
and if my husband want me wear naikap.."okey...i will"
Because"i want make him happy"
if u have more quizzes...let me know..
salam,sister
well
i'm 18..i don't know alotttt about marriage...
but,i'll tell u...how i wants my life to be...when i get married?
and u might learn..or something
well,in marriage..the husband..'s not the desicion maker...
both of us..should discuss everything in our life
if his desicion were right...okey,i'll respect that...alotttttttttt
but..i should but in the picture of discussion..
because...if my kids..see that he's the one he say YES..NO..and their mommy doesn't have any opinion...
i wouldn't be good example..then...and they will make the same with their wives..
and about our life:it's supposed bluid it in Trust...honesty,
when anyone of us..make a fault..he admit...Never Deny...
about hijab..i don't understand ur quiz?
but..if my husband..doesn't like my hijab style...i'll ask him
"what would make u ,happy...in my hijab..and i'll hone it...as u want,my sweet husband?"
because...
any man...he want his wife..for him only....that's why mens..get jealous always
and if my husband want me wear naikap.."okey...i will"
Because"i want make him happy"
if u have more quizzes...let me know..
salam,sister
abou haytam
Junior Member
What are the rights of the husband and what are the rights of the wife?
Question:
what are a wife's rights on her husband according the Quran and Sunnah? or what are a husbands duties to his wife and viceversa?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Islam has enjoined upon the husband duties towards his wife, and vice versa, and among these duties are some which are shared by both husband and wife.
We will mention – by the help of Allaah – some of the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah which have to do with the duties of the spouses towards one another, quoting also from the commentaries and views of the scholars.
Firstly:
- The rights of the wife which are hers alone:
The wife has financial rights over her husband, which are the mahr (dowry), spending and accommodation.
And she has non-financial rights, such as fair division between co-wives, being treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and not being treated in a harmful way by her husband.
1. Financial rights
(a)- The mahr (dowry). This is the money to which the wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage contract is completed or when the marriage is consummated. It is a right which the man is obliged to pay to the woman. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart” [al-Nisaa’ 4:4]
The prescription of the mahr demonstrates the seriousness and importance of the marriage-contract, and is a token of respect and honour to the woman.
The mahr is not a condition or essential part of the marriage-contract, according to the majority of fuqahaa’; rather it is one of the consequences of the contract. If the marriage-contract is done without any mention of the mahr, it is still valid, according to the consensus of the majority, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“There is no sin on you, if you divorce women while yet you have not touched (had sexual relation with) them, nor appointed unto them their Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)” [al-Baqarah 2:236]
The fact that divorce is permitted before consummation of the marriage or before stipulating the mahr indicates that it is permissible not to stipulate the mahr in the marriage-contract.
If the mahr is stipulated, it becomes obligatory upon the husband; if it is not stipulated, then he must give the mahr that is given to women of similar status to his wife.
(b)- Spending. The scholars of Islam are agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife make herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending.
The reason why it is obligatory to spend on her is that the woman is available only to her husband, because of the marriage contract, and she is not allowed to leave the marital home except with his permission. So he has to spend on her and provide for her, and this is in return for her making herself available to him for his pleasure.
What is meant by spending is providing what the wife needs of food and accommodation. She has the right to these things even if she is rich, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis” [al-Baqarah 2:233]
“Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him” [al-Talaaq 65:7]
From the Sunnah:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Hind bint ‘Utbah – the wife of Abu Sufyaan – who had complained that he did not spend on her: “Take what is sufficient for you and your children, on a reasonable basis.”
It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: “Hind bint ‘Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, entered upon the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man who does not spend enough on me and my children, except for what I take from his wealth without his knowledge. Is there any sin on me for doing that?’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Take from his wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient for you and your children.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5049; Muslim, 1714)
It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:
“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)
(c)- Accommodation. This is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means” [al-Talaaq 65:6]
2. Non-financial rights
(i) Fair treatment of co-wives. One of the rights that a wife has over her husband is that she and her co-wives should be treated equally, if the husband has other wives, with regard to nights spent with them, spending and clothing.
(ii) Kind treatment. The husband must have a good attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and offer her everything that may soften her heart towards him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and live with them honourably” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19]
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]
From the Sunnah:
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Be kind to women.’”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3153; Muslim, 1468).
There follow examples of the kind treatment of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) towards his wives – for he is the best example:
1. It was narrated from Zaynab bint Abi Salamah that Umm Salamah said: “I got my menses when I was lying with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) under a single woollen sheet. I slipped away and put on the clothes I usually wore for menstruation. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, ‘Have you got your menses?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ Then he called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.”
She said: And she told me that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to kiss her when he was fasting, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl to cleanse ourselves from janaabah from one vessel.(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 316; Muslim, 296)
2. It was narrated that ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr said: “ ‘Aa’ishah said: ‘By Allaah, I saw the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) standing at the door of my apartment when the Abyssinians were playing with their spears in the Mosque of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He covered me with his cloak so that I could watch their games, then he stood there for my sake until I was the one who had had enough. So you should appreciate the fact that young girls like to have fun.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 443; Muslim, 892)
3. It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah the Mother of the Believers (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray sitting down; he would recite Qur’aan when he was sitting down, then when there were thirty or forty aayahs left, he would stand up and recite them standing up. Then he did rukoo’, then sujood; then he would do likewise in the second rak’ah. When he had finished his prayer, he would look, and if I was awake he would talk with me, and if I was asleep he would lie down.
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1068)
(c)- Not harming one’s wife.
This is one of the basic principles of Islam. Because harming others is haraam in the case of strangers, it is even more so in the case of harming one’s wife.
It was narrated from ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled, “There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah,, 2340)
This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by Imaam Ahmad, al-Haakim, Ibn al-Salaah and others. See Khalaasat al-Badr al-Muneer, 2/438.
Among the things to which the Lawgiver drew attention in this matter is the prohibition of hitting or beating in a severe manner.
It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:
“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)
Secondly:
The husband’s rights over his wife.
The rights of the husband over his wife are among the greatest rights; indeed his rights over her are greater than her rights over him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them [al-Baqarah 2:228]
al-Jassaas said: Allaah tells us in this aayah that each of the spouses has rights over the other, and that the husband has one particular right over his wife which she does not have over him.
Ibn al-‘Arabi said: this text states that he has some preference over her with regard to rights and duties of marriage.
These rights include:
(a)- The obligation of obedience. Allaah has made the man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just as guardians take care of their charges, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that Allaah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined upon them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” means, they are in charge of them, i.e., she should obey him in matters of obedience that Allaah has enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family well and taking care of his wealth. This was the view of Muqaatil, al-Saddi and al-Dahhaak.(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/492)
(b)- Making herself available to her husband. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that he should be able to enjoy her (physically). If he marries a woman and she is able to have intercourse, she is obliged to submit herself to him according to the contract, if he asks her. That is after he gives her the immediate mahr, and gives her some time – two or three days, if she asks for that – to sort herself out, because that is something that she needs, and because that is not too long and is customary.
If a wife refuses to respond to her husband’s request for intercourse, she has done something haraam and has committed a major sin, unless she has a valid shar’i excuse such as menses, obligatory fasting, sickness, etc.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3065; Muslim, 1436)
(c)- Not admitting anyone whom the husband dislikes. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that she should not permit anyone whom he dislikes to enter his house.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)
It was narrated from Sulaymaan ibn ‘Amr ibn al-Ahwas: my father told me that he was present at the Farewell Pilgrimage (Hujjat al-Wadaa’) with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] praised and glorified Allaah, then he preached a sermon and said: “Treat women kindly, for they are prisoners and you have no other power over them than that, if they are guilty of open lewdness, then refuse to share their beds, and hit them, but not severely. But if they return to obedience, (then) do not seek means (of annoyance) against them. You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they should not let anyone whom you dislike sit on your bed and they should not let anyone whom you dislike enter your house. Their rights over you are that you should feed and clothe them well.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1163 – he said this is a saheeh hasan hadeeth. Also narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1851)
It was narrated that Jaabir said: [the Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)
(d)- Not going out of the house except with the husband’s permission. One of the rights of the husband over his wife is that she should not go out of the house except with his permission.
The Shaafa’is and Hanbalis said: she does not have the right to visit (even) her sick father except with the permission of her husband, and he has the right to prevent her from doing that… because obedience to the husband is obligatory, and it is not permitted to neglect an obligatory action for something that is not obligatory.
(e)- Discipline. The husband has the right to discipline his wife if she disobeys him in something good, not if she disobeys him in something sinful, because Allaah has enjoined disciplining women by forsaking them in bed and by hitting them, when they do not obey.
The Hanafis mentioned four situations in which a husband is permitted to discipline his wife by hitting her. These are: not adorning herself when he wants her to; not responding when he calls her to bed and she is taahirah (pure, i.e., not menstruating); not praying; and going out of the house without his permission.
The evidence that it is permissible to discipline one's wife includes the aayahs (interpretation of the meaning):
“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones” [al-Tahreem 66:6]
Ibn Katheer said:
Qutaadah said: you should command them to obey Allaah, and forbid them to disobey Allaah; you should be in charge of them in accordance with the command of Allaah, and instruct them to follow the commands of Allaah, and help them to do so. If you see any act of disobedience towards Allaah, then stop them from doing it and rebuke them for that.
This was also the view of al-Dahhaak and Muqaatil: that the duty of the Muslim is to teach his family, including his relatives and his slaves, that which Allaah has enjoined upon them and that which He has forbidden them. (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/392)
(f)- The wife serving her husband. There is a great deal of evidence (daleel) for this, some of which has been mentioned above.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable among people of similar standing. That varies according to circumstances: the way in which a Bedouin woman serves (her husband) will not be like the way of a town-dweller, and the way of a strong woman will not be like the way of a weak woman. (al-Fataawa al-Kubraa, 4/561)
(g)- Submitting herself to him. Once the conditions of the marriage-contract have been fulfilled and it is valid, then the woman is obliged to submit herself to her husband and allow him to enjoy her (physically), because once the contract is completed, he is allowed in return to enjoy her, and the wife is entitled to the compensation which is the mahr.
(h)- The wife should treat her husband in a good manner, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]
Al-Qurtubi said:
It was also narrated from him – i.e., Ibn ‘Abbaas – that this means: they have the right to good companionship and kind and reasonable treatment from their husbands just as they are obliged to obey the commands of their husbands.
And it was said that they have the right that their husbands should not harm them, and their husbands have a similar right over them. This was the view of al-Tabari.
Ibn Zayd said: You should fear Allaah concerning them just as they should fear Allaah concerning you.
The meanings are similar, and the aayah includes all of that in the rights and duties of marriage.(Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 3/123-124)
And Allaah knows best.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Muslimah99
Bosnian Muslimah
yes I am sure that is it...but I don't think you should see it as something negative because your husband is your maintainer and protector.
Thanks Muslimah99....in our society the concept of a man having such a level of control is new to me....what if one has a 'bad' husband?. I'll carefully study the quotes by abou haytam.
I like a lot about Islam...the idea of serving Allah....and obedience...including to a husband...is appealing..but I'm concerned at that level of control that a man could have over my life.....I would like to maintain some control over my life.
Please don't take the above as a criticism..merely an enquiry....and only by enquiring can I learn!
I like a lot about Islam...the idea of serving Allah....and obedience...including to a husband...is appealing..but I'm concerned at that level of control that a man could have over my life.....I would like to maintain some control over my life.
Please don't take the above as a criticism..merely an enquiry....and only by enquiring can I learn!
Mairo
Maryama
[4.1] O people! be careful of (your duty to) your Lord, Who created you from a single being and created its mate of the same (kind) and spread from these two, many men and women; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, by Whom you demand one of another (your rights), and (to) the ties of relationship; surely Allah ever watches over you.
Sophie, I appreciate your questions. It is important in the marriage relationship that we know our rights and demand them from our mates. And although obedience of a wife to her husband is stressed in Islam, if your husband (or father or any other family member) should ask you to do something that is against the rule of God/Islam you should not follow it. It is also encouraged to treat your husband/wife as your partner and your solace from the world. The prophet Muhammad often consulted his wives for their opinion when making important decisions, he valued their ideas and contributions to the family immensely.
Your question of what happens if you have a "bad" husband is a good one. It is important to point out to each other if the rights are being transgressed in any way. That is part of the reason why it is stressed in Islam to choose good character and piety over any other traits when selecting a mate - in this way we will find happiness for our souls. Divorce, although frowned upon, is allowed in Islam. A woman has the right to divorce her husband for any reason, and vice versa.
Another thing the prophet stressed was kindness toward wives, saying that the greatest among men was he who is best to his wife and family. With his personal example he demostrated great chivalry toward his wives and all women. Whenever he was in his home he took the opportunity to help his wives with their domestic duties. It is a great thing to look at his example for inspiration regarding how we should act toward each other.
He did not condone harshness or violence toward women or children in any way, shape or form. Rather, he stressed the importance of acting with mercy and kindness toward all family members, as we hope for the same mercy and kindness from God. In addition, in Islam special value is placed on the honoring of our mothers in our lives. The prophet often said that the most deserving recipient of your kindness is your mother.
I appreciate the support and protection my husband provides for me. I strive to please him and do seek to obey him. I know he has both of our best interests at heart and he fully respects me. He is also very responsive and open to correction if he has done something wrong, it is a two-way path. I am very appreciative to have the guidelines of Islam and the example of the prophet Muhammad PBUH to help with building such a strong relationship. The relationship of marriage is one of the most important and most meaningful a person will have in their life, and much attention should be paid to making it a good relationship.
Keep your questions coming, I appreciate your sincere desire to learn and acquire more knowledge. May God guide you to what is best.
Sophie, I appreciate your questions. It is important in the marriage relationship that we know our rights and demand them from our mates. And although obedience of a wife to her husband is stressed in Islam, if your husband (or father or any other family member) should ask you to do something that is against the rule of God/Islam you should not follow it. It is also encouraged to treat your husband/wife as your partner and your solace from the world. The prophet Muhammad often consulted his wives for their opinion when making important decisions, he valued their ideas and contributions to the family immensely.
Your question of what happens if you have a "bad" husband is a good one. It is important to point out to each other if the rights are being transgressed in any way. That is part of the reason why it is stressed in Islam to choose good character and piety over any other traits when selecting a mate - in this way we will find happiness for our souls. Divorce, although frowned upon, is allowed in Islam. A woman has the right to divorce her husband for any reason, and vice versa.
Another thing the prophet stressed was kindness toward wives, saying that the greatest among men was he who is best to his wife and family. With his personal example he demostrated great chivalry toward his wives and all women. Whenever he was in his home he took the opportunity to help his wives with their domestic duties. It is a great thing to look at his example for inspiration regarding how we should act toward each other.
He did not condone harshness or violence toward women or children in any way, shape or form. Rather, he stressed the importance of acting with mercy and kindness toward all family members, as we hope for the same mercy and kindness from God. In addition, in Islam special value is placed on the honoring of our mothers in our lives. The prophet often said that the most deserving recipient of your kindness is your mother.
I appreciate the support and protection my husband provides for me. I strive to please him and do seek to obey him. I know he has both of our best interests at heart and he fully respects me. He is also very responsive and open to correction if he has done something wrong, it is a two-way path. I am very appreciative to have the guidelines of Islam and the example of the prophet Muhammad PBUH to help with building such a strong relationship. The relationship of marriage is one of the most important and most meaningful a person will have in their life, and much attention should be paid to making it a good relationship.
Keep your questions coming, I appreciate your sincere desire to learn and acquire more knowledge. May God guide you to what is best.
Salaam,
I have written this before and I will rewrite it for your benefit. Islam is a faith that is very practical. It is the faith of reason and logic.
The best gift a woman receives is a husband and from that comes her treasures, her children. What a blessing it is to have someone have rights over you. It is a means of protection. It is only politeness to ask permission of your husband to do something. If we look at what heights many Muslim women have reached we know their husband did not stop them.
We are often confused by the western interpertation of women's rights. We can not equate fideality to Allah subhana talla to a girl's night out. Islam provides us the means to strive for jannath. That is what we need to keep in mind. The joy that a husband brings to a woman nothing material can be substituted. We must remember this.
We live by Islam as it is best for us. Love and serve your husband as a prelude to an eternal life. Forgiveness is the key to success and what a beautiful robe a spouse is.
I have written this before and I will rewrite it for your benefit. Islam is a faith that is very practical. It is the faith of reason and logic.
The best gift a woman receives is a husband and from that comes her treasures, her children. What a blessing it is to have someone have rights over you. It is a means of protection. It is only politeness to ask permission of your husband to do something. If we look at what heights many Muslim women have reached we know their husband did not stop them.
We are often confused by the western interpertation of women's rights. We can not equate fideality to Allah subhana talla to a girl's night out. Islam provides us the means to strive for jannath. That is what we need to keep in mind. The joy that a husband brings to a woman nothing material can be substituted. We must remember this.
We live by Islam as it is best for us. Love and serve your husband as a prelude to an eternal life. Forgiveness is the key to success and what a beautiful robe a spouse is.
abou haytam
Junior Member
Thanks Muslimah99....in our society the concept of a man having such a level of control is new to me....what if one has a 'bad' husband?. I'll carefully study the quotes by abou haytam.
I like a lot about Islam...the idea of serving Allah....and obedience...including to a husband...is appealing..but I'm concerned at that level of control that a man could have over my life.....I would like to maintain some control over my life.
Please don't take the above as a criticism..merely an enquiry....and only by enquiring can I learn!
salam o likom
islam alow divorce
Can she ask for divorce because he is beating her?
Question:
CAN A WIFE OF A FEW MONTHS, AND PREGNANT DIVORCE HER HUSBAND DUE TO THE FACT THAT HE DOESN'T SUPPORT HER IN THE CUSTOM SHE IS USED TO, BEATS HER UP, DOESN'T RESPECT HER, AND REFUSES FOR HER TO GO TO THE MOSQUE TO PRAY, ALL THIS BECAUSE SHE REFUSES TO GIVE PERMISSION FOR HIM TO MARRY AN AMERICAN WOMAN WHO ONLY BECAME MUSLIM RECENTLY AFTER HE WAS MARRIED TO THIS TURKISH WOMAN. HE IS ALSO AN AMERICAN, HE AND THIS OTHER WOMAN HAVE A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
A woman has the right to ask for divorce when her husband mistreats her in a way that she cannot stand and cannot bear with patience, or if he falls short in his obligatory spending on her, or if he is someone who indulges in these evil actions – if she thinks that leaving him is in her best interests and will protect her commitment to Islam and her chastity.
Shaykh Waleed al-Firyaan
source:
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=9481&ln=eng&txt=الطلاق
you can check this link too
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=13803&ln=eng&txt=الطلاق
Examples of acceptable reasons for asking one’s husband for khula’
Question:
Is it possible for the wife to get a khula even if the husband will not agree to it? Can you mention some reasons ?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
I put this question to our Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Jibreen, and he answered as follows:
If a woman dislikes her husband’s treatment of her – for example, he is over-strict, hot-tempered or easily-provoked, or gets angry a lot, or criticizes her and rebukes her for the slightest mistake or shortcoming, then she has the right of khula’ [female-instigated divorce].
If she dislikes his physical appearance because of some deformity or ugliness, or because one of his faculties is missing, she has the right of khula’.
If he is lacking in religious commitment – for example, he doesn’t pray, or neglects to pray in jamaa’ah, or does not fast in Ramadaan without a proper excuse, or he goes to parties where haraam things are done, such as fornication, drinking alcohol and listening to singing and musical instruments, etc. – she has the right of khula’.
If he deprives of her of her rights of spending on her maintenance, clothing and other essential needs, when he is able to provide these things, then she has the right to ask for khula’.
If he does not give her her conjugal rights and thus keep her chaste because he is impotent (i.e. unable to have intercourse), or because he does not like her, or he prefers someone else, or he is unfair in the division of his time [i.e., among co-wives], then she has the right to ask for khula’.
And Allaah knows best.
Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Jibreen
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=1859&ln=eng
Question:
Is it possible for the wife to get a khula even if the husband will not agree to it? Can you mention some reasons ?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
I put this question to our Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Jibreen, and he answered as follows:
If a woman dislikes her husband’s treatment of her – for example, he is over-strict, hot-tempered or easily-provoked, or gets angry a lot, or criticizes her and rebukes her for the slightest mistake or shortcoming, then she has the right of khula’ [female-instigated divorce].
If she dislikes his physical appearance because of some deformity or ugliness, or because one of his faculties is missing, she has the right of khula’.
If he is lacking in religious commitment – for example, he doesn’t pray, or neglects to pray in jamaa’ah, or does not fast in Ramadaan without a proper excuse, or he goes to parties where haraam things are done, such as fornication, drinking alcohol and listening to singing and musical instruments, etc. – she has the right of khula’.
If he deprives of her of her rights of spending on her maintenance, clothing and other essential needs, when he is able to provide these things, then she has the right to ask for khula’.
If he does not give her her conjugal rights and thus keep her chaste because he is impotent (i.e. unable to have intercourse), or because he does not like her, or he prefers someone else, or he is unfair in the division of his time [i.e., among co-wives], then she has the right to ask for khula’.
And Allaah knows best.
Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Jibreen
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=1859&ln=eng
Mairo
Maryama
Although divorce is not favored in Islam and husband and wife are advised to be patient with one another in their marriage, a wife can ask for a divorce from her husband for any reason, even if it is just that she feels she no longer loves her husband. I once read a hadith regarding this, but cannot locate it at the moment.
In the hadith it explains that a woman came to the prophet and asked if she could divorce her husband. He asked what the reason was and she said she didn't love him anymore. It was not that he treated her badly in any way, she just did not feel love for him. However, the husband still very much loved his wife. The prophet told her that it was permissable to divorce, but that she would have to forfeit something back to him (I think it was part of her land, maybe that had been given to her previously by her husband). And he reminded her that God is our judge for all the decisions we make.
Although I could not locate the original hadith, I also found this regarding the subject:
"In Islam it is known that men can divorce their wives. On the other hand, there is no indication in the Quran that women cannot repudiate their husbands. In fact, the Quran has allowed that in the form of divestiture (Khul'a) where it took place through the prophet in the past and currently through a judge:
[2.229] Divorce may be (pronounced) twice, then keep (them) in good fellowship or let (them) go with kindness; and it is not lawful for you to take any part of what you have given them, unless both fear that they cannot keep within the limits of Allah; then if you fear that they cannot keep within the limits of Allah, there is no blame on them for what she gives up to become free thereby. These are the limits of Allah, so do not exceed them and whoever exceeds the limits of Allah these it is that are the unjust.
This is divorce at the wife's request even if there is no fault on the part of the husband [1]. So it happens when the wife hates her husband or hates continuing living with him [2]. She may be required to pay back all or part of the dowry [2]. "
In the examples posted in this thread earlier regarding the reasons for divorce, the woman would be able to divorce without being required to return any part of the dowry to her husband.
In the hadith it explains that a woman came to the prophet and asked if she could divorce her husband. He asked what the reason was and she said she didn't love him anymore. It was not that he treated her badly in any way, she just did not feel love for him. However, the husband still very much loved his wife. The prophet told her that it was permissable to divorce, but that she would have to forfeit something back to him (I think it was part of her land, maybe that had been given to her previously by her husband). And he reminded her that God is our judge for all the decisions we make.
Although I could not locate the original hadith, I also found this regarding the subject:
"In Islam it is known that men can divorce their wives. On the other hand, there is no indication in the Quran that women cannot repudiate their husbands. In fact, the Quran has allowed that in the form of divestiture (Khul'a) where it took place through the prophet in the past and currently through a judge:
[2.229] Divorce may be (pronounced) twice, then keep (them) in good fellowship or let (them) go with kindness; and it is not lawful for you to take any part of what you have given them, unless both fear that they cannot keep within the limits of Allah; then if you fear that they cannot keep within the limits of Allah, there is no blame on them for what she gives up to become free thereby. These are the limits of Allah, so do not exceed them and whoever exceeds the limits of Allah these it is that are the unjust.
This is divorce at the wife's request even if there is no fault on the part of the husband [1]. So it happens when the wife hates her husband or hates continuing living with him [2]. She may be required to pay back all or part of the dowry [2]. "
In the examples posted in this thread earlier regarding the reasons for divorce, the woman would be able to divorce without being required to return any part of the dowry to her husband.
abou haytam
Junior Member
salam sister;
i think you are refering to this hadeeth.
It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: The wife of Thaabit ibn Qays came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I do not find any fault in Thaabit’s religious commitment or character, but I cannot bear to live with him.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Will you give him back his garden [that he had given as the mahr]?” She said, “Yes.”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4972)
According to another report (4971): “I do not find any fault in Thaabit’s religious commitment or character, but I would hate to fall into sin by rejecting the commands of Islam when I am a Muslim.”
i.e., I am afraid that I may do something which would go against the rulings of Islam such as hating my husband, disobeying him, not giving him his rights, etc. See Fath al-Baari, 9/400
source:
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=26163&ln=eng&txt=لا أطيقه