I have lived somewhat equal periods of time in the Middle East, and west, I was born there and I am of a mixed race. I myslef still trying to figure out what to do regarding hijrah, because both places have their advantages and disadvantages.While the west offers a convenient life I truly believe that it sometimes comes at a heavy cost in terms of children especially!
Yes things can be a little annoying and backward in the middle East sometimes, generally less pay in, bad traffic, but it is still a much better environment for children. So it is making that balance really. When my children were young, we made hijrah for this reason. At the time I was very hesitant, because I was leaving my family and everythig I am familiar with inthe west behind me. Although I was born in the middle East, I had left it when I was young, and so needed to work my way around from scratch. The begining was a bit of a struggle, but to this day I believe that it was the best decision I made. I spent 10 years, my children went into good religious schools. and had a strong Islamic basis. Although I had to come back, after 10 years, (for a personal reason) I believe that it benefitted the children a lot. With the strong islamic foundations my children had, they were able to differentiate and advise each other about the wrongs they faced in this society.
After a long period, I visited recently. This was confirmed to me once again. With all the negative things associated with living a simple life, no fancy furniture and less well off financially, I saw hearts that are together, members of the family are willing to do so much for one another. Parents have a special status, elderly are cared for and loved, perceived as a blessing and not as burdens. I thought: these are money can't buy!
In comparison, I see children abusing parents, rebelliousness, temptation and influence. Its a struggle between the parent and the child. The child wants to belong and fit in, parents hearts tear to pieces at times, tear to pieces as they loosening the grip so not to seem too strict, and in fear of rebelliousness.
In the 10 years I lived in the Middle East, I met with several families that came from the west, including those married to reverts. Some are there up to this day, others returned.
I think whether one intends to migrate or not, it is important to try and see the whole picture. I am weigh up the good and the bad. I don't think it is good to paint such dark pictures of muslim countries and overlook any positives.
It is quiet important to ask oursleves of the things we value most in life.
Two of my children who have tasted the best of both worlds, are preparing to migrate again in the next few months inshallah. I don't know how long they would last, but feel proud of their decsion although it carries considerable compromises. I think what would scare me most is if my children told me we are comfortable here and never want to go back, just holidays.I hear this from muslim children.. As muslims our comfort is not really good furniture, easy life PS3 for our children and what have you. Our comfort is derived from such things as waking up to the athan in the break of dawn, Fasting Ramadan and Knowing that the whole country is fasting just like, your chidlren feeling the bliss of that, being able to go to friday prayer regularly, knowing that society helps raise your children with you, not ruin your efforts, that is what's most comforting.
Ofcourse there are bad people everywhere, but the temptation, the influence to imitate and to rebel is so much higher. I have seen parents that have been trying so hard, and sometimes in a family of four children the struggle with one of them is tremendous. This is not statistics but something I have noticed, and which would be an interessting area of investigation.
If one has to choose between two options: one astray child or a simpler life in muslim lands, that's something to think about. Life is a struggle.
Everyone knows their own circumstances, but I would be weary of discouraging it if you have especially if you have the means to, because there are gains too even if one has to stay for a certain period and come back.
