Fighting with myself

Hannah123

One Truth
Assalaamu alaikum,
I am having a huge issue with myself right now. My mother who is not muslim, still has contact with my ex-husband, she buys him presents, she calls him and goes behind my back to see my son when he's at his fathers house. She even gives him MONEY. I don't receive child support from him or any assistance. He was abusive and horrible to me when we were married. I can't stop being angry and disappointed that my mother won't drop her relationship with him. I've told her how much this upsets me and she continues to do it. She hates that i'm muslim, she said one time that Allah(subhana wa ta'alaa) is the devil. I don't know what to do about this anger, should i tell her again how much this bothers me? Should i just shutup and be patient? Any other opinions besides my own would be great. As long as its what i should be doing according to Allah than i will do it. HELP.
sr. Hannah
 

daud

goodly tree
sister anger is from shaytan and we are told to do wudhu to stop the angre. and allah says in surah baqra that he is with the patient. be patient!
 

Libinette

Umm Zubayr
I believe you should ask her again, tell her how much it bothers you and hurt you...but at the end of the day you can't force her and being angry won't help...

Sister, keep firm in the waY of God and He will help you as He says : after hardship come ease..
So inshallah be patient, make duas...
We are with you..

I hope someone else will post a better advise...
 

Bawar

Struggling2Surrender
perhaps she would not do and say such things if she knew more about islam. anger is not the wise reaction. be patient and make dua for her guidence. keep steadfast on your faith and remind yourself you are going through this for the sake of Allah swt.
may the help of Allah swt be with you, ameen
 

farhopes

No God but Allah
Assalamo alikom, dear sister

Dear sister, May Allah help you out of your tribulation and compensate you with a pious and loving husband inshaa Allah.

My humble opinion is to try to understand your mom situation. She is a grandma now and perhaps she is doing that out of her love to your son. She wanna keep in touch with him and his dad for the son's benefit.

You got divorce and it is over. Alhamdulillah. Just forget about him and the horrible days and think of your new life. He is just your son's father now and I think there should be a connection between you and your son. Let this connection be through your mom.

Please, don't provoke her to insult Allah SWT. Try to be kind to her as much as you can because Allah SWT ordered you to do that even if she is a disbeliever. Show her that Islam changed you to be an angel and no one can resist being touched by the morals of angels. Just try and Allah SWT will help you.
 

Ameera

Seeking allah
Assalamo Alikom sister

I sympithise with you on your plight, I myself have the similair problem but as the others have said turn away from anger make dua and forgive your mother as Allah (swt) says we should be kind to our parents ask your mom how much she knows of Islam and explain to her how you feel now you are following the straight path be strong and hold tight to your Deen Allah will guide you to the correct way, Ignore your ex husband as this will only stir bad thoughts and strenthen your bond with your son, let him be the strength of your relationship with your mom now you are stronger than you were in the past Alhadulillah you will make good now and the ywill see you are humble and strong with God

Allah will gide you
 

Faisel

New Member
May The Almighty Help u

Slmu Alikum. sis Hanna

im really touched by ur story and May the Almighty give u the patience on that grief situation u r vasing, sis I wanna tell u something might help u is that. is u can obey ur parents on everything but when it comes to the Religion its different, plz sis try to go ur mom and tell her that wutever she does she can't change u or change ur decision towards the Almighty one thing sis do u have someone close to u like a muslim live nearby if yes ask them wut they can do bout it and inshalla they will find one...im sure sis that the Almighty is seeing u and this is a big challenge and u have to be strong.

May The Almighty Bless and wlc to our Family TTI
 

mohamedqadar

Junior Member
Dear Sister,

I pray this message finds you in good health and iman.

Our responsibilities towards our parents remain the same whether or not they are Muslims.

We are required to be kind, respectful, and obedient within reason. If they require financial support, we should be generous.


Allah Most High says, "Call unto thy Sustainer's path with wisdom and goodly exhortation, and argue with them in the most kindly manner-for, behold, thy Sustainer knows best as to who strays from His path, and best knows He as to who are the right-guided." [Al-Nahl, 16:125]

so have patience with you parents, talk to them with kind and pray for them
insha allah then they will see how beautiful islam is

:salam2:
 

Erik

Junior Member
Family should always come first and in a family first come the child or children. do what is best for the children.

Then talk to your family, speak your anger controlled, let open whats in your mind and heart.
Forgive when winning a point, love always your family, Hugg and kiss your mother allways when you leave and tell here that you Love her. Brother /Erik
 

TheKnowledgeSeeker

A Believer In Heart
I am go to go with shutup and being patient but every time she does that say Allah SAW doesn't Allah me to talk badly toward or about my parents so mother please don't help the shaytan or devil make me go against my religion cos i will go to Hell. Then ask her mother do you hate me that much to do all the things that bother me and make me go against Allah? I think you should be patient and make her feel bad about the bad things she is doing and i am sure she will stop. She is probably doing to annoy you. Other that pray to Allah SAW. Good Luck!!!
 

najbc

Junior Member
Assalaamu alaikum,
I am having a huge issue with myself right now. My mother who is not muslim, still has contact with my ex-husband, she buys him presents, she calls him and goes behind my back to see my son when he's at his fathers house. She even gives him MONEY. I don't receive child support from him or any assistance. He was abusive and horrible to me when we were married. I can't stop being angry and disappointed that my mother won't drop her relationship with him. I've told her how much this upsets me and she continues to do it. She hates that i'm muslim, she said one time that Allah(subhana wa ta'alaa) is the devil. I don't know what to do about this anger, should i tell her again how much this bothers me? Should i just shutup and be patient? Any other opinions besides my own would be great. As long as its what i should be doing according to Allah than i will do it. HELP.
sr. Hannah

In life, you have got learn to forgive and forget. In Islam, isn’t it haram to try to break relationship between two people? I think your mother is just been nice to your ex and trying keep in touch with the father of her grandson. I do not think she is doing this to hurt you in anyway. Sister, I know it is hard to forgive someone that has done so much wrong to you and has hurt you in many but it only hurt you. In the qurran it talks about the reward people get who forgive and are patient. Our prophet may peace be upon him courage patience and forgiveness. How does your son feel about the relationship between you and his father? What examples are you showing your son? I think my dear sister you should let go of this angry for your son sake and the well been of your health. Angry never solve anything. Remember everything you do in your life now, you have your son with you and your action will set example to him. Hey, sis take care and I deep hope things work out for you.
:tti_sister:
 
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