finding a good girl is hard now..why?

[Moataz G]

al salamo 3alikum dear brothers and sisters

i was wondering why finding a good girl has now become very very hard and you have to search for long time ..iam also wondering how can someone interact with the girl he wish to marry and know every details he needs before asking her for marriage?! in my university as example the good girls do not oftenly gathering and mixing with boys in any places which make it harder to interact with them. and iam afraid to be accelerating judging the girl i want to marry if you know what i mean.did any body think about that before?

 

[farhopes]

Assalamo alikom

Brother, finding a good girl is not as hard as you think. The prophet (pbuh) urged you to choose the religious girl whom you feel pleased when looking at her and talking to her.

I exactly know what you mean by your question. I am an Egyptian like you and i know what is going on in our universities. Those girls who mix freely with boys are underestimating themselves and gradually abandon their bashfulness.

When you are ready for marriage, you seek help from Allah in finding the good girl and Allah will not disappoint you. You can ask your sisters, your relatives, friends to help you finding a good girl, or you may find her at university or work. You then ask about her and her family very well.

As for knowing everything about her before proposing to her, I think this can be achieved through engagement. Having friendship before marriage is not from Islam and you can know what you want to know through engagement period.


Don't forget to make Istikhara as it helps a lot in guiding you regarding this matter.

 

[Moataz G]

al salamo 3alikum ..thanks for your supporting and useful reply.. your reply was really useful to me ..i realised what you said , there is no one right now but everytime when i look at religious girls i feel like they might be really really hard to interact with them plus my shyness makes it much more harder.. also unfortunately there are many people do not support ' ro2ya shar3eya' (الرؤية الشرعية) although it is very ver important for both sides and the prophet (pbuh) said on this : (( انظر إليها فإنه أحرى أن يؤدم بينكما )) .

thanks for your reply and what makes me glad deeply in my heart is that iam always remind my self that whenever i marry for the intention of religion then god won't let me down in sha allah

Jazaki allah 5air

 

[Mabsoot]

ASsalamu alaykum,

You should not be seeking to interact with any girl, rather, you see her, in the presence of Her Wali.

He, is the first line of contact to get to speak to a girl for marriage. The good muslim parents will not give permission for a boy to go out, "dating" with their daughter.

You are in a Muslim country, whats difficult with going to the Masjid and asking an Imam that you know, for help? As you live in Egypt, and are Muslim, I am sure that you will know at least one Imam?

assalamu alaykum

 

[Moataz G]

ASsalamu alaykum,

You should not be seeking to interact with any girl, rather, you see her, in the presence of Her Wali.

He, is the first line of contact to get to speak to a girl for marriage. The good muslim parents will not give permission for a boy to go out, "dating" with their daughter.

You are in a Muslim country, whats difficult with going to the Masjid and asking an Imam that you know, for help? As you live in Egypt, and are Muslim, I am sure that you will know at least one Imam?

assalamu alaykum

salamo 3alikum.. you didnt get what i mean brother..thats not what i mean.. i didnt mean by interacting dating and hanging out togather...etc .... it little bet different here in egypt than abroad.
i meant by interacting is understanding and afraiding of getting misleading by the outer appearance.

 

[ummi h]

brother i hope this is of some help to you..inshallah

assalamualeykum...(i was one of the shy and all covered up sister)
brother before my husband proposed to me, he asked my uncle to talk to me to say that hes intrested..because i didnt have a big brother and my uncle is my mahram..

we couldnt talk on the phone so he wrote some letters about himself and hes future goals...and what he wants in a wife, so i wrote the same about myself..this is just to clarify whether were suitable match for each other before we take it to another step..

after that we made questions we wanted to ask eachother ie...what makes him angry, and so on...and set up a metting with my mother and uncle present to discuss everything....it was really usefull and felt right that everything wasnt done against the sunnah....by the way we did at least 5 mettings,and wenever we wanted to know more about echother i always consulted my parents and wali..who were always present...i never went through my friends as their opinions and judjement isnt always of benefit, i trusted my mothers advice more..alhamdulilah iv now been married for 5 years and inshallah more..

i pray allah the allmighty bless you with a blessed and pious wife inshallah..
wasalam

 

[Moataz G]

assalamualeykum...(i was one of the shy and all covered up sister)
brother before my husband proposed to me, he asked my uncle to talk to me to say that hes intrested..because i didnt have a big brother and my uncle is my mahram..

we couldnt talk on the phone so he wrote some letters about himself and hes future goals...and what he wants in a wife, so i wrote the same about myself..this is just to clarify whether were suitable match for each other before we take it to another step..

after that we made questions we wanted to ask eachother ie...what makes him angry, and so on...and set up a metting with my mother and uncle present to discuss everything....it was really usefull and felt right that everything wasnt done against the sunnah....by the way we did at least 5 mettings,and wenever we wanted to know more about echother i always consulted my parents and wali..who were always present...i never went through my friends as their opinions and judjement isnt always of benefit, i trusted my mothers advice more..alhamdulilah iv now been married for 5 years and inshallah more..

i pray allah the allmighty bless you with a blessed and pious wife inshallah..
wasalam

Jazaki allah 5ayran sister ma sha allah it seems that you was so cheerful about this methode but shyness for a man differ than for a girl ..i belive that shyness for a man is not favourable lineament for men i do belive in this , unlike girls which is highly acceptable.

hopefully one day i find the right girl en sha allah but i know it needs a long search from me.

 

[khangul]

:salam2:
the we are living in every person should give priority to a pious person .we should investigate about the person with whom you wish to marry, whether she/he practicing islam or not .how she/he behave the family members etc etc.may ALLAH give us all hidaya ameen

 

[Moataz G]

:salam2:
the we are living in every person should give priority to a pious person .we should investigate about the person with whom you wish to marry, whether she/he practicing islam or not .how she/he behave the family members etc etc.may ALLAH give us all hidaya ameen

yes sister i understand what you mean.. i liked the word you said 'practicing islam' how can someone nowdays see such a thing in someone he wish to marry? suppose in universities as example where the outer appearance is the dominant and the judgement factor, how can we know 'the practicing islam' factor?

 

[islamisthesolution]

:salam2:
first of all brother i think you should finish yor study and try to find a good job as you in our country (i mean Egypt) you have to be resbonsible for the girl that you are goning to marry then when you decide to get married i guess you need to take the advices of sister Farhopes and brother mabsoot
may Allah reward you with pious girl
and you know what its not hard at all if you want a religious girl you will find one but all what you have to do is to pray to Allah to reward you with one
:salam2:

 

[khangul]

yes sister i understand what you mean.. i liked the word you said 'practicing islam' how can someone nowdays see such a thing in someone he wish to marry? suppose in universities as example where the outer appearance is the dominant and the judgement factor, how can we know 'the practicing islam' factor?

:salam2:
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request

 

[Robab]

not difficult but easy

1 step is to do istakhara.2 u do urself stable.3 then u can find lovely and rigious and pious girl for urself.i think it is not difficult its easy.and pray is a weapen for a momein.inshallah u will see allah give u a very nice girl.ok brother.do not worry.

 

[Muslima_88]

reply

Salaam, I understand what the brother is trying to say, I think most girls may seem shy and what not however when you approach them in a polite way and jump straight to the point (marriage) it should be a simple yes or no im interested and it shouldn't carry on thru the 2 people, but to the parents. As long as this is done publicly and not privately there is nothing wrong with it.
May Allah guide all the brothers and sisters of Islaam to the right path

 

[revert2007]

difficult

i know how egyptian girls are because i myself married to an egyptian man and was in egypt for my delivery.i was shocked to see the girls because most of them dressed up like European and dont care about the religion.most of the religious girls are from the village.in this condition it is extremely difficult to find the religious one except by asking Allah's help.
if there is no other way,perhaps you just go and talk to this girl or u may take along any female mahram of urs when ur talking to her.but if u like her,get married soon because we don't want anything haram.for example it only took 32 days for me and my husband to get to know,engaged and get married.i know the marriage in egypt is extremely expensive but try your best insyaallah everything will work out as u wish.good luck.

 

[EeNnA]

get the isoc to sort u out