Having a girlfriend...

[Mabsoot]

Assalamu Alaykum,

This is very wrong brother, I would like to correct something

Jihad is nothing like what the Sikhs and Christians did in their disgusting wars of Terror.

Jihad doesnt even mean holy war, it is to struggle and better oneself in the Deen. It is Jihad for you to go to school and learn, it is Jihad for you to wake up in the morning to pray, it is a Jihad for you to look take care of your wife, your parents or your children.

Islam does permit fighting for sake of Allah, that Jihad is beautiful jihad, It is not aggressive, barbaric or cruel. It brings the light of Islam to the people, it brings peace and freedom and gets rid of corruption and oppression.

I dont see how you can tell your friends and compare it to the sick Crusades or the dirty Hindu campaigns that slaughtered and raped throough millions of innocent women and children.

Neither the Sikhs nor the Christians or any other people will ever be able to do something as great as the wonderful Jihad that Allah has ordained for the Muslims.

Also, Jihad was not a period of resistance. Jihad will always apply till the end of time.

Lets please keep on topic.

Wasalam.

 

[Ayep]

:salam2: bro

:salam2:

If Allah was worried that we would not get ahead in life by marrying a non-religious person, then how come marriage between Christians and Jews are permissible?

Brother, I wonder what you mean by this. Which part of the Quran or Hadith did you get this from I wonder. Can you present where you got this idea from?
I am eager to to see when you get it from. Please answer.

"He{Shaitan(Satan)} commands you only what is evil and Fahsha(sinful), and that you should say against Allah what you know not."
-Al-Baqarah (2:169)

Remember this site is to dispel misconceptions about Islam and if you you presents ideas without facts you are actually adding more misguidance to fellow Muslims and non-Muslims here on this site.

:salam2:
I find showing people the beauty of Islam as a much more effective approach to preach to someone rather than scaring them into it. I'm also fully aware of the consequences that may lie ahead of me thank you; but like I said before, I'm not that religious. I beg to differ on your idea that Liberal Muslims don't exist either. As discussed in this thread (which I has hoping for more replies since it was such a good topic), there are certain sins you do that still make you Muslim, and other bigger sins that do not make you one.

I have read the whole thread and there are no evidence about Liberal Muslims in that thread either. http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3912
I wonder where you saw that. Please quote from where you got the Liberal Muslims thread.

Either you made a mistake or you are misguided bro alias_hunter. Be careful expressing ideas that go against the teachings of Islam. Reason : we here as Muslims are obliged to give advise to all Muslims regarding matters of religion. However if someone keeps justifying their own personal cause and create misinformation to everyone, that is something very grave.

If you are aware {quote "I'm also fully aware of the consequences that may lie ahead of me thank you;"} then why boast about it.

"There is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right Path has become distinct from the wrong path."-Al Baqarah(2:256)

"O you who believe! Fear Allah(by doing all that He has ordered and by abstaining from all that He has forbidden) as He should be feared. [Obey Him, be thankful to Him, and remember him always], and die not except in a state of Islam(as Muslims with complete submission to Allah)]-Al Baqarah 2:102).

When you are ready to become religious brother, I suggest you go and debate with the Quran cause it will answer all the misiconception that you presented here today. We can help but only if you are willing to listen.

Hope you dont feel insulted.

Allah knows best

 

[NATURESOUL]

Assalamo alaykom brother,i felt what did u say and what did u want,it's very difficult to live in other countries far u'r coutry u'r religion and u're muslim there,i think in my opinion to have friends that good but u should respect rules of islam that the first degree in u'r heart that u'r parents sure good or bad parents we should respect them,then u can be good always,if u'r serious about love u should to say to u'r parents and u'r friends,be clear to marry LHALAL,or be respected by girls,u should to listen someone there in mosque who give u more informatins WALAHO A3LAM,good luck,salam

 

[wayofthesalaf]

Proof from the Qur'an and Sunnah

Allah has clearly stated in the Quran:

...(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. ... [Qur'an 5:5]

Abud Darda' related from the Messenger of Allah (SAW):

That he came upon a (slave) woman who was in the advanced stage of pregnancy at the door of a tent. He (SAW) said: Perhaps he (the man accompanying her) intends to cohabit with her. They said: Yes. Thereupon Allah's Messenger said: I had decided to curse him with such a curse as may go along with him to his grave. How can he own him (the child to be born) and that is not lawful for him, and how can be take him as a servant for that is not lawful for him? [Sahih Muslim, Narrated AbudDarda']

It is also narrated by Zaid bin Khalid:

That Allah's Apostle (SAW) ordered that an unmarried man who committed illegal sexual intercourse be scourged one hundred lashes and sent into exile for one year. [Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 48, Number 817, Narrated by Zaid bin Khalid]

It is narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said:
"Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third." [Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi 3118, Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab, Tirmidhi transmitted it]

It is very clear. Taking secret lovers/girlfriends is forbidden by Allah and His Messenger (SAW) and will lead to all sorts of evil and fitnah.

Akhi, do not compromise your deen for the dunya. If you feel desires for a woman, look for a righteous sister and get married! But if you are not currently able to marry take the advice of Allah and His Messenger (SAW):

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do. [Qur'an 24:30]

And those who are not married should try to live in chastity, until God enriches them with His Grace. [Qur'an, 24:33]

And the Authentic hadith which states:

We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. The Prophet said: "O assembly of youths; whoever among you possesses the physical and financial resources to marry should do so, because it helps him guard his modesty, and whoever is unable to marry should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." [Sahih Muslim and Sahih Bukhari]

It is Narrated by AbdAllah ibn Mas'ud that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said:

"O group of youth! Whoever from among you can marry should do so because it keeps the gaze low and it protects the private parts. And he who cannot marry should make it compulsory upon himself to fast because it breaks lust." [Ibn Kathir Volume 5 p. 458]

 

[Ahmedkaafi]

Asalamu alaykum

Dear Alias

I am very sorry to hear same one says like you,u said I born in muslim and i know to have a girlfriend is a wrong according to the Islam and u r doing I have Question 4 u, Do u pray salat? some people the think if they have a Muslim name they r Muslim although they r not praying salat And making somethings not alows in Islam, u can,t be a muslim by the name Brother if u r Islam ,islam not alows what r you saying,Allah says:- the believers are only those who, when Allah is mentioned,feel a fear in their hearts ind when he verses(this Qur,an)are recited unto them,they(i.ethe verses) increase their faith;and the put their trust in their LORD(Alone) V.2:8 Who perform As-Salat(iqamat as-salat and spend out of that we have provided them V.3:8 It is they who are the believers in truth for them are grades of dignity with their Lord and forgiviness and a generous provision(paradise) V.4:8 u can marry remember the the day of jugement we will not be here forever.
Wabilahi towfik

 

[Mabsoot]

:salam2:

Wow, I was not expecting this many responses and views at all. I guess it's a serious topic for Muslims. I would like everyone to know that I've read every response word for word so thank you all very much for your time, effort, and wisdom in your responses.

With that aside, I think I should answer a few questions. My girlfriend's from Kosovo. Funny story actually, I assumed she was just the average WASP (white anglo saxon protestant), she thought I was Hindu; we both laughed when we told each other what background we thought each of us were, heh..... well it might not be funny to most of you =/. Also, she's not very religious at all (I don't mind) and I've been over to her house several times. Her parents seem to be very Liberal and not very religious either and even though they seem to not mind I come over, I hope they like me

Marriage... not ready for that yet and don't think she is either. I agree with Samiha, it'll only create more problems. Seriously, marriage is completely out of the question. We're Uni students, tuition took all our money ='(. Umm, I forgot who said Allah blessed me with a good body and good looks but I hope you know I was joking when I said "chiseled good looks and rugged body" Lol. I actually look pretty scronny but people have said I have a good face and smile.... Okay I lied, only my mom says that LOL jk.

As for the level of relationship with my girlfriend... I don't think I have to reveal that. Lets just say my relationship with her isn't driven by sexual desires; we just simply enjoy being with each other. I've stated first that I am not as religious as others and I came here with the intention of finding out Islam's stance on acquainting with the opposite sex, which I have found out. I appreciate you all attempting me to show the righteous path but I think I've made my decision about having a girlfriend; and although many of you will probably look down upon it, hopefully some of you will still respect the decision. Once again, thank you all very much for your responses, they were not wasted.

Assalamu Alaykum,

Rather than transfixing your ideas on this, perhaps it is wiser to learn about the core beliefs of Islam? Such as Tawheed and Aqeedah ?

Afterall, these issues pertaining to haram and halal and relationships can only be understood and appreciated when person has solid foundation in his or her faith.

Fundamental Beliefs in Islam Tawheed and Aqeedah

If someone never practised and seen beauty of Islam through their prayer and have had that Iman, then they will see these things as strange or restrictive.

It is good that you came here to learn about the status of your relationship, and now you know about it based on the people's replies here.

Although it is haram to be in a relationship like the one you are in, It is much more important to learn about and implement the core teachings of Islam. Things such as Tawheed and having good belief in Allah, and worshipping him properly and doing the obligatory actions. This will bring you closer to Allah, and help you to understand Islam.

My advice for you my brother, is to stick around and learn about Islam. And to be around Muslims and to share in our discussions in order for your and our Iman (faith) to rise.

Wasalam