hi friend,Daniel.
welcome to TTI and to your muslims friends and even they will become your brothers and sisters when you become a muslim......you will have biggest family in the world,what a bless and merciful from Almight Allah .
I have story for you ,a true story which may strengethern your believe in Islam I got it from magazine which I posted yesterday .I want to post to you again.Here is the story.
Muslim Revert:kahadijah Scott-Jameel(15 years).
Tells Us Of Her Youthful Transformation.
Tell us about your background
I was baptised a Catholic at an early age and given the name Harley. While growing upI attended a Christian school. However I always had a problem with believing that Jesus(p)could be the son of God.
So what made you turn towards Islam?
It was around the time that I was eight years of age. My mother and father had separated and there was, obviously,quite a lot of stress in the household. My mother embraced Islam and seemed to find a real sense of peace.
So your mum forced you to become a Muslim too?
No! Oh no! Not at all. My mum just told me what she was doing. She explained everything she was learning and gave me the option. I thought "Yeah" ,saw this opportunity of a whole new stress free life and went for it. I wasnt forced at all.
So you became a fully practicing Muslim?
Well, I took on the religion of Islam. I started to pray five times a day and started to wear the hijaab. But I dont think Islam quite touched my heart at that stage.
What did your friends at Primary school think about your 'new' religion?
They would ask really silly questions like, 'Who is your God now?'. They were suprised because I 'didnt look like A Muslim'-i.e. I wasnt from an asian background.I foundthat my circle of friends became smaller and smaller
So you started to wear the hijaab from the age of 8?
I was actually nine by the time I started to wear the hijaab,but even then I did not wear it all the time. When I would go to visit my father, initially, I would not wear it. Then if I went to his parents' house I would not wear it. I was quite concerned as to what people would say. One day I sat and asked my self and because it was God's command. That gave me the confidence to wear it all the time. At the age of 11 I started attending Bolton Muslims Girls School ,Manchester and the hijaab was part of the uniform. All the girls wore it and it just felt so natural and normal.
As a non-Asian, how are you treated at the Muslim school?
I am part of a group that you cab count on the fingers of one hand. however, having said that, everyone is really welcoming. The fact that i am a muslim means that I fit in really well. The only time that I do feel left out is when a lot of the other girls start to converse in Urdu. I did try to learn it but then felt that learning Arabic was much more important.
How are you treated outside of school?
I do get a lot of comments from non-Muslims when they see me wearing my hijaab and jilbaab. They are quite shocked when they see that I am whit too. I did wear the niqaab for a short while but found that I was getting a lot of bad comments. I also realised That one one of the reasons for modest dress is not to draw attention to yourself. The niqaab was having the exact opposite effect so I decided to dispense with that. I also went through a phase of wearing more fashionable, tight fitting jibaabs. But I reverted to normal jibaabs when I realised that it was more important what Allah thinks and not the person down the road.
What was your father's reaction to your changing dress sense?
I could tell that when i first wore the scarf he was a little reticent, but he never mention it. He found it very difficult to understand the concept of the niqaab. I remember the shock on the faces of his family when they first saw me wearing the jilbaab. To his credit he was never been hostile towards my clothing and will always defend my right to wear what I wish.
Is your father fully supportive of your reversion to islam?
Well he still calls me Hayley and only occasionally uses the name Khadijah. We have lots of debates and he always asking lots of questions - not all of which I am sufficiently knowledgeable enough to answer. he doesnt welcome Islam with open arms but now has a perspective on what Islam is. when I go to his house he will go and buy halal meat specially. during a sleepover once he actually came to wake me up so that I could perform the Fajr prayer.
Apart from your mother, how else did you learn about Islam in the early days?
a Muslim friend gave me a book, which I must have read a thousand times, which really explained the religion very well. Her family helped a lot, too, by explaining things in a nice way. I started to attend study circles.When my mum first started to read salat she was made cards with transilations on them for herself. i would lie in bed and then just memorise the cards to perfect my own prayer.
Did you turn towards any other religion during this initial period?
Not really. growing up with catholicism i knew about all the cotradictions that were in the bible. I could found never agree with their numerous Gods in Hinduism. I knew islam was right and so there was no point looking anywhere else.
So when was your 'heart touched'?
around the age of fourteen(2005) I started to think deeply about the purpose of life. I started to thinnk about death and that I should do something useful, productive and meaningful during my days on Earth. It was then that I really and truly embraced Islam in my heart.
What do you think has changed about your character?
I think i can put things into perspective a lot better now.
For instance, the other day i was having a panic attack, shouting and screaming, because I could not find my iTunes on the computer. Whilst searching I came across an ayat which said that Allah sends tests on all hiss people.That really calmed me down and made me laugh out loud at how I was getting worked out about something so trivial. I dont feel alone anymore and Alhamdulillah have many friends now. I love reading the Qur'an.
What does the future hold for Khadijah?
I want to go to college and then University to study journalism. I really want to change people's perspective of what Islam really is. I am also looking forward to get married. It has nothing to do with age but emotions and maturity. People are shocked and ask why I want to forced to be tied to the kitchen sink. I try to explain that an arranged marriage is not forced marriage. Marriage is not the end of life but beginning of freedom. i will be free to go wherever i wish with my caring husband. I will complete my education and have a career. It is a great opportunity to be fulfilled in a halal environment. I know my dad was a bit cautious but once I explained it fully to him, and that I wouldnt be getting married for another year or two, he was a lot better abou it.
brother daniel