How do you give Dawah when another Muslim counters what you say?

[DanyalSAC]

Asalaamu alaikum -

There is a woman in my office I’ve been giving dawah to. She was born to a practicing Muslim mother but I guess Mom found drugs and alcohol much easier than the five pillars so she stopped practicing. My coworker has recently been looking into her heritage; I’ve brought her a English translation of the Qur’an (and one for her mother as she is apparently considering coming back to Islam), and I’ve been giving her ahadith etc to help her out.

Well there’s a sister that works here in my building with a …shall we say, much more “liberal” version of Islam than mine. She's an older lady; doesn't cover, listens to music, has a boyfriend. She brags that her Imam is a jazz musician at a local jazz club at nights. The woman talked to the sister and told her that one of the things that has kept her from taking shahadah is she finds the idea of hijab too daunting. The sister asked her “Do you know the Five Pillars of Islam?” when my coworker said yes she did, the sister said to her that that was ALL that was required to be Muslim, and that it doesn’t matter how she dresses. While this is true in principle, when I tried to explain to her that our Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salaam in a hadith tells us that women are to cover all but their hands and their face, she (the sister) countered with “But in the Qur’an it says to pull our veil from our head to cover our bosom. So that means the only part we’re required to cover is our BOSOM!” She seems to think that the Qur'an is to be followed while the hadith can be dismissed.

How do I counter this without making it look like one Muslim against another? Its so hard to give dawah to someone when another Muslim is misleading the prospect.

When I've tried to give dawah to the sister I'm totally out of my element; she's been Muslim much longer than I have (she's also a convert). She believes that hijab is voluntary, music is OK, dating is OK, men don't need to pray in the masjid, congregational dhikr is just grand...this is not the kind of Islam I want my coworker to learn.

Any advice?
JazakAllah khairn
D.



PS - before anyone accuses me of backbiting the sister, she's made her views publicly known and they are against the sunnah so I am bringing them up. Allahu alim.

 

[Sakeena]

Asalamu alaikum brother Danyal,

man would I love to slap her silly I'm sorry, but I can't stand people who act like that!!!!! Astagfirullah!!!!

I wish I could give you more advice. This co-worker is trying to mislead the lady! She's not giving her good and knowledgable advice subhanAllah!!!

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

First you are not backbiting as you are asking for help. You have shared some facts to help us help you.

I must be getting old. I strongly suggest that you ask the sisters at your masjid to talk to this sister. This removes you from being in an awkward position. It is easier when women can talk to other women. The communication becomes very clear.

Now I am not going to slap the other sister. However, if she spent fifteen minutes with me she will be humbled. She just wants attention. Minimize your interactions with this fool. Forgive me but that is what she is, a simple fool.

You need to concentrate on you. Your actions will show your faith.

 

[DanyalSAC]

Assalaam walaikum,

First you are not backbiting as you are asking for help. You have shared some facts to help us help you.

I must be getting old. I strongly suggest that you ask the sisters at your masjid to talk to this sister. This removes you from being in an awkward position. It is easier when women can talk to other women. The communication becomes very clear.

Now I am not going to slap the other sister. However, if she spent fifteen minutes with me she will be humbled. She just wants attention. Minimize your interactions with this fool. Forgive me but that is what she is, a simple fool.

You need to concentrate on you. Your actions will show your faith.

This sister does not go to my masjid. My job and my home are almost 100 miles apart (exactly 86 miles door to door, to be precise) so none of my coworkers here are in my community. This sister's entire masjid is this way according to her.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

I pray I am not wrong but I would this alone. Brother you are so serious and ernest in your desire to please Allah..these sisters are not serious. What people forget is we do not Play with Allah. He tells us so in His Quran. There is no time to twist His Orders. He tells us there is no compulsion. Leave them alone, brother, leave them alone. These are silly girls with little sense.

Insha'Allah a brother or sister with more knowledge will be better able to assist you.

A while back I was driving between 200+ miles a day for work. I got a lot of speeding tickets. The scary part was when I found myself 10 miles from the highways and 10 miles from the nearest gas station and there was no cell-phone reception. You drive easy, please.

 

[DanyalSAC]

Assalaam walaikum,

I pray I am not wrong but I would this alone. Brother you are so serious and ernest in your desire to please Allah..these sisters are not serious. What people forget is we do not Play with Allah. He tells us so in His Quran. There is no time to twist His Orders. He tells us there is no compulsion. Leave them alone, brother, leave them alone. These are silly girls with little sense.

Insha'Allah a brother or sister with more knowledge will be better able to assist you.

A while back I was driving between 200+ miles a day for work. I got a lot of speeding tickets. The scary part was when I found myself 10 miles from the highways and 10 miles from the nearest gas station and there was no cell-phone reception. You drive easy, please.

Wa alaikum salaam -

I am inclined to agree with you. I just wanted to see the younger woman (the non-Muslim) happy. She's so unhappy in her life right now and I know that if she would just take that step it would make such a huge difference in her world inshallah. But I also know that its up to Allah who is the Best of Planners, so I will bow out of this one.

 

[DanyalSAC]

Oh and before I forget - I try to stay away from the sister. I know her Islam is in error, Allahu alim. When I told my shaykh about the comment she made about her imam being "a jazz musician and a shaykh!" he threw up his hands and said "SubhanAllah! That's not shaykh, that's shaytan!"

 

[a_stranger]

Truth and desires

:salam2:

23:71 If the Truth had been in accord with their desires, truly the heavens and the earth, and all beings therein would have been in confusion and corruption! Nay, We have sent them their admonition, but they turn away from their admonition.

Translation of the meanings of Quran

 

[weakslave]

Wa alaikum salaam -

I am inclined to agree with you. I just wanted to see the younger woman (the non-Muslim) happy. She's so unhappy in her life right now and I know that if she would just take that step it would make such a huge difference in her world inshallah. But I also know that its up to Allah who is the Best of Planners, so I will bow out of this one.

Good call. The duty of a Muslim is to transmit a message and the receiving is in the hands of Allaah alone. Do not attack your fellow Muslim colleague in front of others, but if they ask you "how come this person says this about this" then you must speak the truth. Everyone is given the freedom of choice, and she chooses to follow her own personal religion. And ask that Allaah guides her back to Islam.

Simply state, I am sharing what I know to be correct of the Quran and Sunnah. May Allaah guide them both to His straight path.

 

[arzafar]

i think you should tell her to visit several mosques and ask several imams the actual meaning of 33:59. Somebody of Islamic authority might actually help her question what she is being told by the other woman.
im beginning to wonder whether translation of the quraan should be sold without a reliable tafsir.
and i would tell her what i say to everybody else, pray directly to Allah to guide you to the truth.

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

Salaamalaykum Akhi Danyal,

May Allah subhaanaho waa ta'ala reward you for your good intentions and noble actions. Ameen

It seems like you have done your bit and now perhaps you can send some material electronically to them on the topics of disagreement.

This is a good resource on people who reject Hadeeth or 'Quranites'. They are mp3 files.

Link

About Hijab, I recently posted a video lecture thread taken from an Arabic Channel. It does have english subtitles.

Link

May Allah subhaanahu waa ta'ala grant them hidayah. Ameen

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
it is Allah He Who opens the heart of a person to his path,i think that you should explain what you learnt.
Me,only one time in my life I had the occasion to make a very strong Dawah to a female friend of my mum:she was hinduist.we met few times and I had no more news of her,but I gave her a copy of Quran Fi sabil lillah and when she posed me some questions;i answered with what I knew.The Day of Judgement every soul will be questioned for its deeds,so if you are in difficulty because someone else is against your way of talking,it's better,by myself,not to insist and to let him/her say what he/she wants

 

[samiha]

:salam2:

I am hesitant to say anything about this situation, because I believe things are different for each and every person. However, in my opinion it would definitely be best for you to leave the "liberal" woman alone. She as you have said has been Muslim longer than you, and it seems has embraced her own warped version of Islaam. The thing is, we all have a fitrah, the natural inclination towards Tawheed, towards recognizing the truth and what is good, however if someone willingly chooses to cover that up, there's only so far you can go with trying to help them. It comes to a point where it's pointless, and I apply the saying, "Don't argue with a fool, people might not be able to tell the difference."

It truly becomes that way sometimes where all Muslims are sprayed with a bad light because of all this bickering. Rather I think if... and strictly if you can help the other sister within correct boundaries then you should perhaps do so, but again only to the extent of your ability. Allaah is the one who guides in the end and people have free will so if in the end she still tends to swerve over to this "liberal" view then that is upon her.

Even where I live, I get really worried at times when I see a sister become a new Muslim and I see all the people around her who claim to be Muslim not really practicing. I have to wonder about where it will lead, if she'll end up like them, if she'll be misguided by certain practices which are prevalent but not Islaamic ... etc... but truly guidance is from Allaah. If a woman will be guided she will be guided regardless of the time, place or situation. And if she will be misguided it can also be in similar situations. So I believe it's important to make Dua'a in this case and just try the best that we can and leave it at that.

There's not point in agonizing or feeling guilt for things we can't control.

It's also kind of funny that you mentioned the Hijaab argument, because it feels as if it has just rolled off from another thread ... but I would also like to put this forward because it dissects the argument for which they try to claim that it only refers to 'bosom' ... :

Special Focus on Hijab

One of the favorite tricks of the hadith rejectors is to announce that it is not obligatory for the Muslim woman to cover her hair. Surah an-Nur ayah 31 says in part, "Tell the faithful women...to extend their KHUMUR to cover their bosoms". The word "khumur" is the plural of "khimar". According to the hadith rejectors the meaning of "khimar" is simply "a covering" because the root KHAMARA means "to cover". Thus, they say, the Quran here only tells the women to extend a covering over their bosoms. They say that the Quran does not mention the covering of the head.

Is this true? Because of the importance of hijab, it is worth exploring this issue in depth.

The hijab of the Muslim woman has been set out in two verses of the Quran, Surah an-Nur ayah 31 and Surah al-Ahzab ayah 59. The list of commands contained in these verses is as follows:

1) Lower the gaze (24:31)

2) Guard the private parts (24:31)

3) Not display their beauty "except what is apparent of it" (24:31)

4) Extend the khimar to cover the bosom (24:31)

5) Not display their beauty beyond "what is apparent of it" except to the people listed in 24:31

6) Not stamp their feet so as to reveal hidden beauty (24:31)

7) Draw the jilbab close around them when abroad (33:59)

What does "except what is apparent" mean? This is one of the passages in the Quran that is not clear in meaning (see Surah Ali Imran ayah 7). This is one of the passages in the Quran that the Prophet saw needs to explain. And Surah an-Nahl ayah 44 (see above) tells us that the Prophet will explain the Quran. The Prophet's explanation of "what is apparent" is the face and the hands. Therefore, following what the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) has explained of the Quran, we can re-write the list this way:

1) Lower the gaze (24:31)

2) Guard the private parts (24:31)

3) Not display their beauty except their faces and hands (24:31)

4) Extend the khimar to cover the bosom (24:31)

5) Not display their beauty beyond the face and hands except to the people listed in 24:31

6) Not stamp their feet so as to reveal hidden beauty (24:31)

7) Draw the jilbab close around them when abroad (33:59)

Now, it is very clear. If a woman must conceal all of her beauty except her face and hands, she must necessarily be concealing her hair. Even if "not to display their beauty except what is apparent" were the only text in the verse, yet as the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) has explained the meaning of the Quran, a woman would still have to cover everything but her face and hands.

We can also look at the meaning of the word "khimar". The word "khimar" comes from the root KHAMARA meaning "to cover". However, the particular form "khimar" may have a more specific meaning. Let's look at what it is:

1) In the Arabic of the Prophet saw, the word "khimar" referred to a HEADCOVERING. This can be seen in the hadiths in which the Prophet (sAas) wiped his wet hands over his khimar and his socks, from which the scholars have derived that it is halal to wipe wet hands over the HEADCOVERING and the socks.

2) The authorities on classical Arabic have defined the word "khimar" as a HEADCOVERING. For instance the dictionary Aqrab al-Mawarid defines the word "khimar" as, "All such pieces of cloth which are used to cover the head. It is a piece of cloth which is used by a woman to cover her head". The great scholar Imam Abu'l-Fida ibn Kathir defines the word "khimar" in the following words, "Khumur is the plural of khimar which means something that covers, and is what is used to cover the head. This is what is known among the people as a khimar". A modern scholar, Shaykh Muhammad al-Munajjid says, "Khimar comes from the word khamr, the root meaning of which is to cover. For example, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: 'Khammiru aaniyatakum (cover your vessels).' Everything that covers something else is called its khimar. But in common usage khimar has come to be used as a name for the garment with which a woman covers her head; in some cases this does not go against the linguistic meaning of khimar. Some of the fuqaha have defined it as that which covers the head, the temples and the neck. The difference between the hijab and the khimar is that the hijab is something which covers all of a woman’s body, whilst the khimar in general is something with which a woman covers her head".

3) Imam Abu Abdullah Qurtubi describes the historical circumstances relating to the wearing of the khimar in pre-Islamic Arabia as follows, "Women in those days used to cover their heads with the khimar, throwing its ends upon their backs. This left the neck and the upper part of the chest bare, along with the ears, in the manner of the Christians. Then Allah commanded them to cover those parts with the khimar". Similarly, Imam Abu'l-Fida ibn Kathir reports, "'Draw their khumur to cover their bosoms' means that they should wear the khimar in such a way that they cover their chests so that they will be different from the women of the jahiliyyah who did not do that but would pass in front of men with their chests uncovered and with their necks, forelocks, hair and earrings uncovered". Both of these descriptions provide clear, explicit, specific explanations of what "extend their khimars to cover their bosoms" means.

4) The scholars have agreed unanimously that the khimar is a HEADCOVERING.

Please do not try to interpret the Quran by just looking up in some dictionary what the meaning of the root KHAMARA means. Each of the forms derived from this root may have a specific meaning. In order to interpret the Quran properly you need to know what the specific meaning of the particular form "khimar" was in the Arabic of the Prophet saw. According to the common usage recorded from that time (in the hadiths), to dictionaries that have preserved the classical Arabic, and to the reports of the actual practice of the women of that time, the khimar is a HEADCOVERING. Can you present any hadiths or other Arabic writing of the time of the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) that use the word "khimar" to mean a shirt or any type of covering other than a HEADCOVERING? Can you present entries from dictionaries of classical Arabic that fail to give HEADCOVERING as a defintion of "khimar"? Can you present reports of the dress of the pre-Islamic Arab women that apply the word "khimar" to other than a HEADCOVERING? Can you present opinions of the ulama that the khimar is other than a HEADCOVERING? If not, you have not refuted any of the evidence presented here. The examples I have given above are the accepted ways of determining what the meaning of the Quran is.

Now, if I told you "extend your hat to cover your ears" you would know automatically that the hat is a heacovering because that is what the word "hat" means in English, and you would understand automatically that the hat is to remain on the head while being extended down to cover the ears. Likewise the Arabs, when they were told "extend your khimar to cover your bosom", knew automatically that the khimar was a HEADCOVERING because that is what the word "khimar" means in Arabic, and they understood automatically that the khimar was to remain on the head while being extended to cover the bosom.

There can be no doubt about it, the meaning of the Arabic word "khimar" is HEADCOVERING. The Quran doesn't mention the word "head" separately because there is no need to, any more than English-speakers need to be told that a hat is worn on the head.

So let's have a third go at that list of commands for hijab:

1) Lower the gaze (24:31)

2) Guard the private parts (24:31)

3) Not display their beauty except their faces and hands (24:31)

4) Extend the HEADCOVERING to cover the bosom (24:31)

5) Not display the beauty beyond the face and hands except to the people listed in 24:31

6) Not stamp the feet so as to reveal hidden beauty (24:31)

7) Draw the jilbab close around them when abroad (33:59)

From this we can see that the Muslim woman has been given two directives in regard to covering the hair. The first directive is that the hair, along with the rest of the body except the face and the hands, must be concealed except before the people listed in 24:31. The second directive is that the hair should specifically be covered by the khimar, which must also extend to cover the neck and upper chest.

The directives of the Quran and Sunnah are quite clear and they quite clearly direct women to wear HEADSCARVES and to cover all of their bodies except the face and hands. Along with the jilbab (outergarment) and the modest conduct of lowering the gaze, guarding the private parts, and not stamping the feet, THIS IS HIJAB.

This is what Allah SWT and His Messenger have decided in this matter. It is not for a believing man or a believing woman to say anything further or to disobey (Quran 33:36).

Source
_ _ _ _ _ _

Allaah knows best. I just thought it would be good to be addressed in the thread anyways.

wasalam

 

[Aisya al-Humaira]

Assalamua'laykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

It's also kind of funny that you mentioned the Hijaab argument, because it feels as if it has just rolled off from another thread ... but I would also like to put this forward because it dissects the argument for which they try to claim that it only refers to 'bosom' ... :

Ironically sis, it happened many times before where after this one issue was brought up, and then shortly after that, the same/related issue seems to be discussed too. MashaAllaah. Could be that Allaah wants us to have a better understanding, to really ponder of the meaning/rulings behind one's issue.

It actually opens up my mind, to know that Muslims who live in non-Muslims countries faced such situation. And that is actually their struggle and their test, to hold on firmly to the rope of Allaah and to not be influenced by the non-Muslims or "better yet", the not-practising Muslims. Astaghfirullah. Fitnah actually occurs even in our very own community.

Below is quite a similar situation. The one in purple, seems to be important to me, IMO, for your situation:

Changing an evil is something that does concern a Muslim, it is not one of the things that do not concern him​

Q: There is a hadith, whoever sees a wrong must stop it by hand, etc and another: leave alone what does not concern you. Would you clarify what to stop and what to leave alone. If I see someone doing immoral things in Saudi Arabia, like dating, etc. Do I go and tell them not to while I know they probably won’t listen, or do I just report it to some authority?


Araise be to Allah.

Firstly:
There is no contradiction between what is proven in sharee’ah, whether between one ayah and another, between one hadith and another, or between ayahs and ahaadeeth. All of it is Revelation (wahy) from Allah. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Had it been from other than Allah, they would surely, have found therein many a contradiction”[al-Nisa’ 4:82]

If there appears to be a contradiction, that is in our own minds and because of our misunderstanding, not in the texts themselves. Hence the scholars took the care to explain the texts in which there may appear to be a contradiction and to dispel any confusion that may have arisen in some people’s minds concerning some texts. With regard to the question, there is no contradiction – praise be to Allah – between the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), “Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart [by hating it and feeling that it is wrong] – and that is the weakest of faith” (Narrated by Muslim, 49), and his words, “Part of a person’s being a good Muslim is his leaving alone that which does not concern him” (narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2317, classed as Sahih by Ibn al-Qayyim in al-Jawaab al-Kaafi, p. 112)

It is not possible under any circumstances that Islam would oblige the person who sees an evil action to change it, then at the same time tell him that it is better not to denounce it.

The circumstances in which the first hadith applies are different from those in which the second hadith applies.

This is similar to what some people understood from the verse (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Take care of your ownselves. If you follow the (right) guidance [and enjoin what is right (Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbid what is wrong (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden)] no hurt can come to you from those who are in error”
[al-Maa’idah 5:105]

But Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq (may Allah be pleased with him) guided them to the correct understanding, and the scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) explained that.

It was narrated that Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “O people, you recite this verse (interpretation of the meaning):
‘O you who believe! Take care of your ownselves. If you follow the (right) guidance [and enjoin what is right (Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbid what is wrong (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden)] no hurt can come to you from those who are in error’
[al-Maa’idah 5:105]

I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say, ‘When the people see an oppressor but they do not try to stop him, soon Allah will cause all of them to suffer punishment because of him.’”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2168; Abu Dawood, 4338; Ibn Maajah, 4005).
This hadith was classed as Sahih by al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Hibbaan, 1/540.

Shaykh al-Islam said concerning what we learn from the verse “Take care of your ownselves…”:
“… Enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil in the manner prescribed in Islam, based on knowledge, kindness, patience, good intentions and doing it in the proper manner, is included in the phrase “Take care of your ownselves…” and in the phrase “If you follow the (right) guidance”.

These five things are what may be learned from the ayah, for the one who is commanded to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil. There is also another meaning which is that a person should focus on his own interests by seeking knowledge and acting upon it, and not worry about that which does not concern him, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Part of a person’s being a good Muslim is his leaving alone that which does not concern him.” Especially being too curious about that of which a person has no need to know about another person’s religious commitment or worldly affairs, and especially if he is speaking because of hasad (destructive envy) or competing in leadership. Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 14/482

And he (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The believer has to fear Allah with regard to His slaves and it is not his responsibility to guide them. This is the meaning of the verse (interpretation of the meaning):
‘O you who believe! Take care of your ownselves. If you follow the (right) guidance [and enjoin what is right (Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbid what is wrong (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden)] no hurt can come to you from those who are in error’
[al-Maa’idah 5:105]

Calling others to guidance means doing what is obligatory. If the Muslim does his duty of enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil, and does his other duties as well, then the misguidance of those who have gone astray will not harm him. That may be achieved sometimes by the heart, sometimes by the tongue and sometimes by the hand. In the case of the heart, this is obligatory in all circumstances because doing it will not cause any harm. Whoever does not even do that is not a believer, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, ‘And that is the weakest of faith.’”
(Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 28/126-128)

So it is known that denouncing evil is one of the things that concern the Muslim, and he must denounce it as much as he is able and in accordance with the interests of sharee’ah. That which does not concern him cannot be something that is waajib (obligatory) or mustahabb (encouraged).

There follow the comments of the scholars on the interpretation of the hadith, “Part of a person’s being a good Muslim is his leaving alone that which does not concern him.”

(a) Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
The Muslim is commanded either to speak good or to keep silent. If he turns away from the silence that is enjoined upon him and speaks in a unnecessary manner that is not good, then this is counted against him. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Part of a person’s being a good Muslim is his leaving alone that which does not concern him.” If a person indulges in something that does not concern him, that detracts from his being a good Muslim. Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 7/49, 50

(b) Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) summed up all of piety in one sentence, when he said: “Part of a person’s being a good Muslim is his leaving alone that which does not concern him.” This includes not speaking about, looking at, listening to, striking a blow, walking towards or thinking about anything for no purpose, and keeping away from all outward and inward actions that have to do with things that do not concern you. This sentence is sufficient concerning piety.

(c) Ibrahim ibn Adam said:
Piety means leaving alone all doubtful things and leaving alone that which does not concern you means leaving alone all that is superfluous.
In al-Tirmidhi there is a marfoo’ report according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “O Abu Hurayrah, be pious and you will be the most devoted of people (to Allah).”
Madaarij al-Saalikeen, 2/21

(d) Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali said:
This means giving up haraam things, doubtful things, makrooh things, and excessive permissible things that are unnecessary, because all of these things do not concern the Muslim if his Islam is perfect and he has attained the level of ihsaan. The most important aspect of leaving alone that which does not concern you is guarding your tongue against idle speech.
Jaami’ al-‘Uloom wa’l-Hukam, 1/309-310

(e) al-Zarqaani said:
Some of them said that what comes under the heading of leaving alone that which does not concern you is learning branches of knowledge that are not important and ignoring those that are more important, such as one who neglects to acquire knowledge that is in his own interests and occupies himself with learning something that does not benefit anyone else, such as philosophical debate, and says as an excuse, ‘My intention is to benefit people.’ If he were sincere he would have started by learning the type of knowledge that would help him to be guided and cleanse himself of all blameworthy characteristics such as destructive envy (hasad), showing off, arrogance, self-admiration, rivalry with one's peers, trying to put people down and other characteristics and actions that may doom a person to Hell.

Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: this hadith is an example of concise speech which includes many noble meanings in a few words, and it is one of the things that were said by no one before him.
Sharh al-Zarqaani, 4/317

(f) al-Mubaarakfoori said:
Al-Qaari said – concerning the meaning of leaving alone that which does not concern him – this means that which is not his business and which it does not befit him to say, do, look at or think about. And he said: what is meant by that which does not concern him is that which he has no need of and is not essential to his spiritual or worldly affairs, and will not help him to earn the pleasure of his Lord, because he is able to live without it, and he can put his affairs straight without it. This includes all superfluous deeds and words.
Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi, 6/500


Secondly:
With regard to what is to be denounced: this includes every reprehensible action which Islam stated is abhorrent and which leads to bad consequences for the one who does it, such as zina (adultery), riba (usury, interest), looking at haraam things, listening to haraam things, shaving the beard, allowing one's garment to hang below the ankles, severing the ties of kinship, introducing innovations into the religion, and so on.

It is not necessary to be in a position of authority in order to change evil actions by one's hand, or to be a scholar in order to change them by one's tongue, rather it is sufficient to be able to change them provided that that does not result in a greater evil than the one that you are denouncing. It is sufficient for you to know that this is evil according to sharee’ah, so you denounce it by speaking out.

With regard to changing evil actions by one's heart. This means hating this evil thing in your heart and leaving the place where it is happening. With regard to your question about seeing some evil things and wondering whether you should denounce the people who are doing them or inform the authorities, our answer is that it depends on the action in question and on who is doing it. If you see an evil action on the part of someone that you cannot leave him and go and tell the authorities about it, then you have to denounce him straightaway, because it may be too late otherwise.

But if the evil action is major and serious, and you cannot denounce it on your own, then you have to inform the authorities.

The point is that evil must be removed, whether by your hand or the hand of someone else. If that is not possible then it must be done by your tongue (by your speaking out), and you should not worry whether they listen to you or turn away from you; all you have to do is convey the message. Allah may sow the seeds of guidance in the heart of one of them because of your words, but the Shaytaan may also suggest to you that you should forget about denouncing them on the basis that they will not listen to you – so beware of that.

And Allah knows best.

http://www.islamhouse.com/p/301430

Wassalam.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Brother, you know I respect you. However, in the case of women you must be very solid in your arguments. We, women, have emotional components that can render any logic out of the window. It is best to allow strong sisters to work/educate the weaker ones. We have a way of battling the emotional components. Simply stated when a man is caught between two women he can not win. That is the reason I suggested he leave it alone.

 

[kayleigh]

I think you should totally drop the topic of hijab if it is a sore point for her. In the grand scheme of things, it isn't that important. What is important is that she understand the basics first, and believe. When I reverted, no one in the community said one word to me about whether or not I would, or if I should, wear hijab, until... well, actually, they never have.

I second aapa's suggestion - you should try to give her the contact info of some sisters. She'll probably be better able to relate to them. also, if she does want to discuss the issue of hijab, she's more likely to listen to a woman than a man since there's no real way for you to understand what it is like to wear it.

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

:salam2:wa rahamtullahi wa barakatuhu

my sweet sis kayleighi disagree here if you go through the post of sis samiha and sis aisya al-humairah you understand'll understand that is it just as important to corret the muslimah's to their dress cods as to other thingsbecause it is usually our inner beliefs that show out as our outer appearance.......in the sister's case above akhi can correct her beleifs by giving her the example of this particular thing:she believes hijaab is unimportant right????so he can tell her she is wronged here and then move on to other topics which will start popping up along the converstaion!!!


AKHI sister samiha and sister aisya explain it beautifully...........firstly it's your religious duty to explain and do your best..........considering she doesn't listen to you or take heed then you jb is donefeel neither depressed nor at loss(although for me it's hard to do)it is Allah who gives hidayah.there are sooooo many ppl to whom the prophets gave good advices and teachings but since they refuse to lend and ear so they were not to have hidaya'................so keep on stron g akhi inshallah everything will end up good.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Sister..sometimes it is beneficial for women to assume responsibility for sisters. These are delicate matters. Women have the understanding of other women. Why would you want to place a pious brother in a situation that is uncomfortable for him.
Yes, we need to give correct information. He has tried his best. Now it is time for the sisters to take over. Did not the Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, suggest that women discuss issues with the mothers of the believers.
Sometimes we have to look at the context of the situation and use common sense. This is in the workplace. There are strict rules and laws in the US workplace. Let us protect our brother. I know I am being overly cautious, however I have been around a long long time.
Let us be thankful that this brother took the time to plant a seed of hope. Let other pious sisters nurture this seed. It is very difficult for a woman to wear a hijab at the workplace. The reprecussions include not being promoted.
We are not in a Muslim country.
Forgive me, but I am looking out for the brother.

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Assalaam walaikum,

Sister..sometimes it is beneficial for women to assume responsibility for sisters. These are delicate matters. Women have the understanding of other women. Why would you want to place a pious brother in a situation that is uncomfortable for him.
Yes, we need to give correct information. He has tried his best. Now it is time for the sisters to take over. Did not the Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, suggest that women discuss issues with the mothers of the believers.
Sometimes we have to look at the context of the situation and use common sense. This is in the workplace. There are strict rules and laws in the US workplace. Let us protect our brother. I know I am being overly cautious, however I have been around a long long time.
Let us be thankful that this brother took the time to plant a seed of hope. Let other pious sisters nurture this seed. It is very difficult for a woman to wear a hijab at the workplace. The reprecussions include not being promoted.
We are not in a Muslim country.
Forgive me, but I am looking out for the brother.

my dear dear apaa i was trying to tell sister kay ligh that hijaab issue cannot be over lookedit's a very important part of a muslim girl.she's incomplete without it!!!i agree a that a sister should be approached by a sister in certain situations!! when i told akhi danyal to stop what's bad and promote what's good i was talking in general........i dunno but i had a feeling he must have felt down by getting a "i damn care what you said" response.i know i do so i just thought i'd high light the good stuff in sister aysia's post we got to do our job........akhi did his job it's done!!so he ough ot to worryi wasn't pushing him into anything!!

i can see you are worried about broher danyal since both of you live in blood thristy vampire's coven.weall care and i understand!!!i'm more then grate ful to my brother i'm IMPRESSED by his courge and love for islam mashallah

sister firstly there is nothing to forgive I"M OFFENDED you're my elder and most respected sister!!!yes conditions are different yet quite similar.....even in muslim states those showing signs of practising muslims are looked down upon...

one last thing my sis By missing promtions in here you get promotions in both world that's my belief and i've experienced it more then one inmy short life of 19!!!

jazakallah khairan for all your posts i find them very beneficial..

love you apa


keep me in your prayers!!

and sorry if i offended you that wasn't my intention........not even close to it

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Sweet sister..no offense..we are all trying to help.

Hijab..I don't know where to begin. As easy as it is to wear once you do it..getting there is like flying to the moon. I can only speak about living in the US. Women are sexual objects. Women dress at work and are encouraged to show the curves and legs and decollette. Even professional women. The tailored suits are cut very tight...etc. There are unspoken guidelines for heels and color of stockings. The friday casual consists of tight jeans..the figure of a woman is in your face. Sometimes..you do not want to see. In the summertime the shorts are short. The t-shirts are sleeveless. This is for women my age!!!
Now comes the hijabi. She is all covered up. You see hands. You see shoes. She sticks out like a sore thumb. A robber has a good chance of stealing because everyone is looking at the hijabi. She has flowing robes and scarves. The hijabi captivates the attention of people. This is difficult for someone who does not have a lot of support. You are new to the faith. You are having difficulty with your family. Those who grew up with you think you have joined a cult. And the sister who is new has yet another decision to make to make her stand out even more.
We have to be gentle with our sisters who are thinking about hijab. Many are not married and do not have the protection of the husband. Hope this sheds some light into my thinking.

my love,
your aapa