Globalpeace
Banned
Asslamo Allaikum,
This weekend a scholar who frequently appears on “Islam Channel” came to our house and delivered a lecture on marriage. The lecture was about 45 minutes long but I will only relate 2-3 minutes of it…
He is a Salafi Shaykh but the advice is sound so all those who are into their sectology, I advise you to still consider his advice.
Abu Hurairah (RA) related that the Prophet Muhammad (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) said: “Men choose women for four reasons:
1. for their money,
2. for their rank,
3. for their beauty
4. and for their religion,
but marry one who is religious and you will succeed (Bukhari, Muslim).
He said that most of his time is spent in correcting marital problems and discords, he also said that most of the calls he gets on TV are about problems with marriage!
WHY?
He said that he sees marriages of practising Muslims (beards, Niqab, Hijab) fall apart and its on the rise.
WHY?
He said that the first misconception is that the Hadeeth ONLY applies to men choosing women; but Scholars have stated that it is equally sound for women seeking men!
In his opinion he said that the problem is in these areas:
• Men and Women don’t consider RELIGION to be the top priority and it’s the same; time and time again! Physical attraction overrules religious priorities
• Men and Women don’t consider the secondary priorities. He said considering religion doesn’t mean that you ignore other bits! He said that the potential spouses must be attractive to each other and the secondary priorities differ for men and women…He said choosing a spouse has affects on YOUR GENERATIONS so be VERY VERY careful! He said for men perhaps the secondary priorities could be “Beauty” or “Rank” but for women it MUST be “Money” (as stated by Scholars and I forgot who he quoted!) because men must be able to financially bear the cost of the household and he said that some sisters overlook that!
• He said we also have to look at Kuff (compatibility and matching) of spouses…He said even marrying women who have grown up here look for “Kuff”….Personally I was surprised about this because not many Salafi Shaykhs say this & in my practical experience; Kuff is ignored at your peril!
• Then he said that “Bid’aas” and customs in our marriages have an affect. How can you start your life with Bid’aa, following culture and intermingling of sexes & expect the help of Allah (SWT) in your marriage?
In the question and answer session, I couldn’t ask for criteria for choosing 2nd wife because my wife was listening on the speakers in the other room!
Yes, unlike what Br Alkhatiri thinks of me (big tough military guy); I am still a little yellow chicken when the wife is around.
This weekend a scholar who frequently appears on “Islam Channel” came to our house and delivered a lecture on marriage. The lecture was about 45 minutes long but I will only relate 2-3 minutes of it…
He is a Salafi Shaykh but the advice is sound so all those who are into their sectology, I advise you to still consider his advice.
Abu Hurairah (RA) related that the Prophet Muhammad (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) said: “Men choose women for four reasons:
1. for their money,
2. for their rank,
3. for their beauty
4. and for their religion,
but marry one who is religious and you will succeed (Bukhari, Muslim).
He said that most of his time is spent in correcting marital problems and discords, he also said that most of the calls he gets on TV are about problems with marriage!
WHY?
He said that he sees marriages of practising Muslims (beards, Niqab, Hijab) fall apart and its on the rise.
WHY?
He said that the first misconception is that the Hadeeth ONLY applies to men choosing women; but Scholars have stated that it is equally sound for women seeking men!
In his opinion he said that the problem is in these areas:
• Men and Women don’t consider RELIGION to be the top priority and it’s the same; time and time again! Physical attraction overrules religious priorities
• Men and Women don’t consider the secondary priorities. He said considering religion doesn’t mean that you ignore other bits! He said that the potential spouses must be attractive to each other and the secondary priorities differ for men and women…He said choosing a spouse has affects on YOUR GENERATIONS so be VERY VERY careful! He said for men perhaps the secondary priorities could be “Beauty” or “Rank” but for women it MUST be “Money” (as stated by Scholars and I forgot who he quoted!) because men must be able to financially bear the cost of the household and he said that some sisters overlook that!
• He said we also have to look at Kuff (compatibility and matching) of spouses…He said even marrying women who have grown up here look for “Kuff”….Personally I was surprised about this because not many Salafi Shaykhs say this & in my practical experience; Kuff is ignored at your peril!
• Then he said that “Bid’aas” and customs in our marriages have an affect. How can you start your life with Bid’aa, following culture and intermingling of sexes & expect the help of Allah (SWT) in your marriage?
In the question and answer session, I couldn’t ask for criteria for choosing 2nd wife because my wife was listening on the speakers in the other room!
Yes, unlike what Br Alkhatiri thinks of me (big tough military guy); I am still a little yellow chicken when the wife is around.
