How to forgive one who has wronged??
- Thread starter ahmed m
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alkathiri
As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
Put yourself in his shoes. How would want someone to forgive you if you have hurt him big time?
:salam2:
It is not easy thing to do when someone wrongs you and you forgive them and forget all that happened, but when you look the reward from Allah it will become easy inshaAllah. This Ayah will help you as it did for me so many times.
Al-Imran: Ayah 134.
Those who spend (in Allah's couse) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers).
It is not easy thing to do when someone wrongs you and you forgive them and forget all that happened, but when you look the reward from Allah it will become easy inshaAllah. This Ayah will help you as it did for me so many times.
Al-Imran: Ayah 134.
Those who spend (in Allah's couse) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers).
shaheeda35
strive4Jannah
:salam2:
We do so much wrong, and Allah forgives us by His Mercy, who are we NOT to forgive?? Whatever was done, let it go and move on. Life is too short. Forgive your brother or sister inshallah.
We do so much wrong, and Allah forgives us by His Mercy, who are we NOT to forgive?? Whatever was done, let it go and move on. Life is too short. Forgive your brother or sister inshallah.
lostlilly07
striving 4 Firadous
Wa alaikum salaam
good post! I seem to suffering from the same problem. I forgive people but my problem is things always remain awkward afterwards. Such as, I no longer speak to them about personal issues, I barely smile when I see them. but I have forgiven them...but I can't get over the pain felt from them.
good post! I seem to suffering from the same problem. I forgive people but my problem is things always remain awkward afterwards. Such as, I no longer speak to them about personal issues, I barely smile when I see them. but I have forgiven them...but I can't get over the pain felt from them.
salaam alikom
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "If there is any way (to avoid punishing someone for a legal offence), let that person go. For it is better for a leader to make a mistake in forgiving than to make a mistake in punishing." Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1011
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "If there is any way (to avoid punishing someone for a legal offence), let that person go. For it is better for a leader to make a mistake in forgiving than to make a mistake in punishing." Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1011
Abbuabderhman
New Member
salamu alaykumu wa rahmatu allahi wa barakatuhu;
the mumin (the believer) havn't things in his heat where sheitan can enter;
we must forgive for every brothers and sisters
If we forgive for who do bad thing to us than allah make the others to forgive to us
"alla tohibouna an yaghfira allahou lakum ?"
We must purifying our heart until no one can polluate it with his bad things
"a mumin amruhu kuluhu kheir..."
wa salam
the mumin (the believer) havn't things in his heat where sheitan can enter;
we must forgive for every brothers and sisters
If we forgive for who do bad thing to us than allah make the others to forgive to us
"alla tohibouna an yaghfira allahou lakum ?"
We must purifying our heart until no one can polluate it with his bad things
"a mumin amruhu kuluhu kheir..."
wa salam
q8penpals
Junior Member
Assalam aliekum
This is kinda funny that you posted this - I was just talking with someone recently and they couldn't understand how I forgive and forget wrongs done to me so easily. I just said, well, if there is nothing I can do about it, then it doesn't make sense to stay mad or upset about it. I was talking with my homeroom boys about this a couple weeks ago too. I used the example, if their maid accidentally broke their cell phone or laptop (lets say she dropped it and it is not repairable) - I asked the boys what they would do. They pretty much all said they would yell and scream at her. So I asked, Would yelling and screaming fix your broken item? To which of course they said NO. So I asked, what would be more productive in the future? They should take care of their own item and not leave it laying around; maybe take the money to replace the item out of the maid's pay over time (so as not to burden her by taking all the money from one paycheck or two); or maybe just forgive their maid and give a warning for if it happens again. I said if they yell at the maid, they will just upset her and she will be more nervous and probably more likely to break something else.
My maid has broken things, and although some of the things upset me inside, it doesn't do much good to get angry and unforgiving, because my things are still broken. If someone purposefully does me wrong, I start by cutting off contact with them; and you never know, that may be what Allah intended as a way to distance you from a bad person.
Honestly, my first husband lied to me about getting a job in a different state (said I could join him there after the school year was over and I could be packing and selling the house while he was setting up home in the new state for us) when in reality, he left me and moved in with another woman - he wasn't' going to tell me anything about her until he was sure it was going to work out with her!! I was angry for a long time, but you know what? I am much happier without him! I have gotten to travel, I have way more money (i realized how much he wasted!!), and I met my current husband, who, masha'Allah, is 100 times the good husband that my ex was! I really have forgiven my ex, because if we would have stayed together, we would have been continuously unhappy and I wouldn't have traveled, and most likely would never have found Islam!
So, when you have an opportunity to forgive or not forgive, think about who it is really hurting when you don't forgive someone - it will really only eat away at YOU. And you don't know Allah's plan for you - He works in mysterious ways that we cannot understand until things come to pass.
I hope that you are able to learn forgiveness - it really makes you a much calmer, relaxed, happy, satisfied person in general.
Lana
This is kinda funny that you posted this - I was just talking with someone recently and they couldn't understand how I forgive and forget wrongs done to me so easily. I just said, well, if there is nothing I can do about it, then it doesn't make sense to stay mad or upset about it. I was talking with my homeroom boys about this a couple weeks ago too. I used the example, if their maid accidentally broke their cell phone or laptop (lets say she dropped it and it is not repairable) - I asked the boys what they would do. They pretty much all said they would yell and scream at her. So I asked, Would yelling and screaming fix your broken item? To which of course they said NO. So I asked, what would be more productive in the future? They should take care of their own item and not leave it laying around; maybe take the money to replace the item out of the maid's pay over time (so as not to burden her by taking all the money from one paycheck or two); or maybe just forgive their maid and give a warning for if it happens again. I said if they yell at the maid, they will just upset her and she will be more nervous and probably more likely to break something else.
My maid has broken things, and although some of the things upset me inside, it doesn't do much good to get angry and unforgiving, because my things are still broken. If someone purposefully does me wrong, I start by cutting off contact with them; and you never know, that may be what Allah intended as a way to distance you from a bad person.
Honestly, my first husband lied to me about getting a job in a different state (said I could join him there after the school year was over and I could be packing and selling the house while he was setting up home in the new state for us) when in reality, he left me and moved in with another woman - he wasn't' going to tell me anything about her until he was sure it was going to work out with her!! I was angry for a long time, but you know what? I am much happier without him! I have gotten to travel, I have way more money (i realized how much he wasted!!), and I met my current husband, who, masha'Allah, is 100 times the good husband that my ex was! I really have forgiven my ex, because if we would have stayed together, we would have been continuously unhappy and I wouldn't have traveled, and most likely would never have found Islam!
So, when you have an opportunity to forgive or not forgive, think about who it is really hurting when you don't forgive someone - it will really only eat away at YOU. And you don't know Allah's plan for you - He works in mysterious ways that we cannot understand until things come to pass.
I hope that you are able to learn forgiveness - it really makes you a much calmer, relaxed, happy, satisfied person in general.
Lana
kenyanlady
New Member
i read your article n the truth is its better to forgive n move on,cause it was also hard for me to forgive ma ex husband,but in de long run it affected me more than him.cause he moved on with his life.n i was the one in pain all de time.the moment i forgave him i felt much better n it was easy for me to move on too
reversion
New Member
my humble opinion
Try to talk to Allah about your problem w/ this person you are mad at and ask Him for guidance. Be patient with whoever had done you wrong; patience is a great virtue in life regardless of what you believe in.
Remember God is all-knowing and He is the one to judge us all. I personally think that people shouldn't judge each other. It is okay to look for answers and explanations in a calm/respectful manner without hurting anyone's feelings. If you tend to loose control and become aggressive while trying to resolve your problem, you will just end up hurting yourself more.
If you find forgiveness or patience to be too difficult, pray to Allah to give you the strength to be able to forgive. Leave the matter to God, remember He knows what you don't.
Try to talk to Allah about your problem w/ this person you are mad at and ask Him for guidance. Be patient with whoever had done you wrong; patience is a great virtue in life regardless of what you believe in.
Remember God is all-knowing and He is the one to judge us all. I personally think that people shouldn't judge each other. It is okay to look for answers and explanations in a calm/respectful manner without hurting anyone's feelings. If you tend to loose control and become aggressive while trying to resolve your problem, you will just end up hurting yourself more.
If you find forgiveness or patience to be too difficult, pray to Allah to give you the strength to be able to forgive. Leave the matter to God, remember He knows what you don't.
sister purified
Junior Member
:salam2:
forgiving someone is easy if u just keep some things in mind..like;may be things could have gone far worser but thank Godness it dint(watever be it,it mostly has an even worse side);puting yourself in his shoes and thinking what if you did that wrong thing..maybe by some misunderstanding or misjudgement;and also just remembering everything in this little life is a test from Allah(s.w.t) and this could ve been one of the tests of your patience..and you have to pass good!
ma'asalaama
forgiving someone is easy if u just keep some things in mind..like;may be things could have gone far worser but thank Godness it dint(watever be it,it mostly has an even worse side);puting yourself in his shoes and thinking what if you did that wrong thing..maybe by some misunderstanding or misjudgement;and also just remembering everything in this little life is a test from Allah(s.w.t) and this could ve been one of the tests of your patience..and you have to pass good!
ma'asalaama
Abdul Hasib
Student of Knowledge
Assalamu Alykum Warahmatullahe Wabrakaathuh brother.
There are two instances in which I get angry:
1.) If someone stands in my way (on purpose) to stop me from being the Muslim I want to be (I mean doing extra Ebadah or following the Sunnahs of Rasulallah (SAW), like growing a beard, eating/sleeping on the floor, going to the Masjid, staying over at the Masjid at night (with other brothers of course) so I can stay secluded by myself at night and be closer with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta Alla, who is the only one who deserves all Praise and Gratitude, and whom I shall never ever find a loving gaurdian and Wali but him, nor will I ever love anyone else as much as him); then I just say to myself to be patient, because the matter is going to be decided; while those who I have warned (about sins to stay away from) are still active in their evils (those things that I have repeatedly reminded them about to stop) will soon have to answer to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta Alla for their wrongs towards me; while I will not forgive them, but it is up to my Rabbi if he wants to forgive them; and if he does not want to, then they have no one else to blame but themselves.
And then there's the other type of person that had done something bad to me. Such as maybe a little child, who I have given many gifts, candies, balloons when their sick, played with them, loved them like a big brother, but theystart to say mean things to me (infront of other people). For this instance (it happened right now (yeah, today, at this time) with my little cousin as she came over for Eid);
I just try to calm myself down a bit; listen to some Quran or some calm Pushto Jihad Nasheed and start to feel better. And then I keep on thinking over and over agian about what that someone has said; but since I understand that they're a little kid, I won't do anything mean to thme; especially when it deals with somone who's close to me and who I loved as if they were my own little sibling; but I just tell myself to not get upset over it, they're just a little kid; and when I remember those things I've done for them (what I've mentioned above), I just tell myself that, "Oh well, atleast Allah Ta Alla is pleased with you Abdul, and remember that's all what really matters," and so I start feeling a happy feeling of tranquility in my heart when I feel like that my Rabbai is pleased with me, because to me, in the end, that is all that really matters, and that is all that's really important. But anyway, I just stop talking to them and don't act all happy withthem around anymore as I use to; and then now I'm deciding to stop being so nice to them and I won't resolve to getting angry with them or being mean to them, I'll just not go and see them, play with them, show that kind of love to them (that I show to other little Muslim children, like those two little Pakistani brothers who I bought candy and ice cream for which made them start to feel so happy (which made me feel really happy), and that little Pakistani (baby) brother (he's so adorable, Mashallah, he has the cutest little eyes and face :ma
who would run around the Masjid until I caught him which would make him burst with energetic laughter :ma:. So anyway, I'll just stay away from that one someone and not talk to them or be with them again until I feel like I've gotten over what they've done to me (I just hope my Uncle doesn't pick up on my new behavior towards my cousin when he comes back from Hajj on the 17nth; but Allahu 'Atlam).
But anyway brother, I hope that I could share my personal experiance with all my dear brothers and sisters on this site; maybe it can give a brother or sister some advice, but mostly, I feel happy that I have a great family to share my stories and personal experiacnes too; may Allah Ta Alla reunite me with this beloved family of mine in Jannah, for he is able to do all things, Ameen Ya Zaal Jalaaly Wal Ekraam! And surely to my Lord belongs all praise.
Assalamu Alykum Warahmatullahe Wabrakathuh dear brothers and sisters, may Allah Ta Alla forgive you for all of your sins, reward you in Jannah by multiplying your Ajr, Rank, and Status by the 50,000s, make all of you to be the followers of the Salaf as Salih and Rasulallah (SAW), may he protect you all from the torment of this world and the Akirah, and may he give all of you a blissful, beautiful, lovely, and happy life in this Duniyah and the Akirah, Ameen.
There are two instances in which I get angry:
1.) If someone stands in my way (on purpose) to stop me from being the Muslim I want to be (I mean doing extra Ebadah or following the Sunnahs of Rasulallah (SAW), like growing a beard, eating/sleeping on the floor, going to the Masjid, staying over at the Masjid at night (with other brothers of course) so I can stay secluded by myself at night and be closer with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta Alla, who is the only one who deserves all Praise and Gratitude, and whom I shall never ever find a loving gaurdian and Wali but him, nor will I ever love anyone else as much as him); then I just say to myself to be patient, because the matter is going to be decided; while those who I have warned (about sins to stay away from) are still active in their evils (those things that I have repeatedly reminded them about to stop) will soon have to answer to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta Alla for their wrongs towards me; while I will not forgive them, but it is up to my Rabbi if he wants to forgive them; and if he does not want to, then they have no one else to blame but themselves.
And then there's the other type of person that had done something bad to me. Such as maybe a little child, who I have given many gifts, candies, balloons when their sick, played with them, loved them like a big brother, but theystart to say mean things to me (infront of other people). For this instance (it happened right now (yeah, today, at this time) with my little cousin as she came over for Eid);
I just try to calm myself down a bit; listen to some Quran or some calm Pushto Jihad Nasheed and start to feel better. And then I keep on thinking over and over agian about what that someone has said; but since I understand that they're a little kid, I won't do anything mean to thme; especially when it deals with somone who's close to me and who I loved as if they were my own little sibling; but I just tell myself to not get upset over it, they're just a little kid; and when I remember those things I've done for them (what I've mentioned above), I just tell myself that, "Oh well, atleast Allah Ta Alla is pleased with you Abdul, and remember that's all what really matters," and so I start feeling a happy feeling of tranquility in my heart when I feel like that my Rabbai is pleased with me, because to me, in the end, that is all that really matters, and that is all that's really important. But anyway, I just stop talking to them and don't act all happy withthem around anymore as I use to; and then now I'm deciding to stop being so nice to them and I won't resolve to getting angry with them or being mean to them, I'll just not go and see them, play with them, show that kind of love to them (that I show to other little Muslim children, like those two little Pakistani brothers who I bought candy and ice cream for which made them start to feel so happy (which made me feel really happy), and that little Pakistani (baby) brother (he's so adorable, Mashallah, he has the cutest little eyes and face :ma
who would run around the Masjid until I caught him which would make him burst with energetic laughter :ma:. So anyway, I'll just stay away from that one someone and not talk to them or be with them again until I feel like I've gotten over what they've done to me (I just hope my Uncle doesn't pick up on my new behavior towards my cousin when he comes back from Hajj on the 17nth; but Allahu 'Atlam).But anyway brother, I hope that I could share my personal experiance with all my dear brothers and sisters on this site; maybe it can give a brother or sister some advice, but mostly, I feel happy that I have a great family to share my stories and personal experiacnes too; may Allah Ta Alla reunite me with this beloved family of mine in Jannah, for he is able to do all things, Ameen Ya Zaal Jalaaly Wal Ekraam! And surely to my Lord belongs all praise.
Assalamu Alykum Warahmatullahe Wabrakathuh dear brothers and sisters, may Allah Ta Alla forgive you for all of your sins, reward you in Jannah by multiplying your Ajr, Rank, and Status by the 50,000s, make all of you to be the followers of the Salaf as Salih and Rasulallah (SAW), may he protect you all from the torment of this world and the Akirah, and may he give all of you a blissful, beautiful, lovely, and happy life in this Duniyah and the Akirah, Ameen.
Asha88
Ghurabaa
Salaam Brother,
One thing I learnt is that whenever you don't forgive someone, part of you will never feel happy whatever you do. To me, I felt like as though a part of me is burning with rage for that person and always end up feeling miserable.
Forgiveness is definitely not easy especially if someone has wronged you. However, you should try to think of how it may affect you and most definitely, think of the rewards you'd get from Him by forgiving. InsyaAllah I hope it wil help you a bit.
One thing I learnt is that whenever you don't forgive someone, part of you will never feel happy whatever you do. To me, I felt like as though a part of me is burning with rage for that person and always end up feeling miserable.
Forgiveness is definitely not easy especially if someone has wronged you. However, you should try to think of how it may affect you and most definitely, think of the rewards you'd get from Him by forgiving. InsyaAllah I hope it wil help you a bit.
nori suja'i
Junior Member
Assalamualeikum,
It's best if we forgive everybody who ever hurt us before sleeping (after recited the du'a for sleeping).
Normally the who easily forgive others always live happily.
It's best if we forgive everybody who ever hurt us before sleeping (after recited the du'a for sleeping).
Normally the who easily forgive others always live happily.