HOW TO GROW UP 2 LITTLE DAUGHTERS?

[hayat84]

:salam2:
I hope you're all in the best of health and Imaan.is there anybody of you muslim members who have children between the age of 2 and 3 years old?I wish to educate them in an Islamic way but I'm worried I'd be exaggerate by using some wrong rules.for example,what about the television? in my home I forbide television except the channel of Mecca,that I put all day long to make them know what muslims do and how they pray.I never leave them watching tv with me,neither the telenews,for the fear that they could see some bad image like a semi-naked woman,somebody smoking cigarette or the music...I fear that one day they'll imitate those people who smoke by using a pencil,that's why I'm trying to hide them from this bad reality and to show it when they'll more mature.Am I right or am I too fanatic?what can you suggest me?
from my point of view I see my daughters growing up in a world made up for children.they don't have any videogame neither they have something technologic i their hands.I said them from now that the pork is haram and that all the girl who dress short clothes are kafara billah to make them know that a muslim girl must cover and ashame...I don't know.please give me any advice and correct me if I'm wrong

 

[islamirama]

Don't fall into the trap most Muslims of the east do. They keep telling their kids not to do this or that without telling them why. All they say is "its haram!" and that's it. What happens when these kids grow up? they do it anyways. Hiding them away will not solve the problem, yes we should limit what they can view and avoid anything haram that can be seen. But more importantly we need to educate our kids about Islam, about why it's halal or haram and the widsom behind it. Kids are not stupid, when you educate them properly, they'll be telling other kids what to do or not do instead of being closely guarded by you.

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
brother,you're right.my intentions are good,I always explain the reason of something and they understand it.many times they make the challenge to come close to me and pray,but I saw Italy is different from Morocco.when I go out with them,I see many girls wearing in a strange way and my oldest daughter asks me why they do so and so...they make me many questions about what they see.I hope to go away from here.I fear one day they ask me something more embarassing and my biggest fear is that they may like what is wrong.I taught them the basis of pudicity,from that point I'm ok,because they since now know to cover at least their intimal parts from unknowns and not to keep anything from them.

 

[islamirama]

Don't be embarrassed to talk to them about anything. If you won't tell them then someone else will and that may not be accurate. It's good for you that they are same gender as you so it should be easier to talk to them about it. Although you shouldn't tell them everything, there is age and time for everything.

 

[esperanza]

:salam2:
I hope you're all in the best of health and Imaan.is there anybody of you muslim members who have children between the age of 2 and 3 years old?I wish to educate them in an Islamic way but I'm worried I'd be exaggerate by using some wrong rules.for example,what about the television? in my home I forbide television except the channel of Mecca,that I put all day long to make them know what muslims do and how they pray.I never leave them watching tv with me,neither the telenews,for the fear that they could see some bad image like a semi-naked woman,somebody smoking cigarette or the music...I fear that one day they'll imitate those people who smoke by using a pencil,that's why I'm trying to hide them from this bad reality and to show it when they'll more mature.Am I right or am I too fanatic?what can you suggest me?
from my point of view I see my daughters growing up in a world made up for children.they don't have any videogame neither they have something technologic i their hands.I said them from now that the pork is haram and that all the girl who dress short clothes are kafara billah to make them know that a muslim girl must cover and ashame...I don't know.please give me any advice and correct me if I'm wrong

dear sister..you sound as yu are doing a wonderful job..mashallah..you can only ashow them what is the beest and correct way to live
sadly whereever t they are western or arab musklim or non muslim lands,,,they will always see wrong and bad things around them ..that is the way of the modern world....
to be honest..and many will disagree,we can never hide from reality..they must see there is wrong and rightbut the important is to know what is right

i live in a country where in the past everything was wrong was haram..and young people were kept away from everything..but because of the modern world they were exposed to these things and very tempted...

there nees to be moderation,.....of course you want to protect them and they are still young,,,,but there will always be good and evil around..we can only do our besr as parents byshowing them the right way and asking allah to guide them

 

[your-sister]

Salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullaah.

They're both girls? So cute, Masha'Allaah! May Allaah's angels keep them out of harm's reach always!! aameen

Ukhty, this is a very good thing wallah! Not many mothers I know are like you, unfortunately. Spoiling kids is the new tradition apparently... Helping them learn the new songs the school are teaching them, buying them the latest set of Barbie dolls that came out, letting them stay up late watching 'cartoons'..etc..=(

But you, Alhamdulillaah, are worried for their future. May Allaah's aid be with you in safeguarding their true identity(Muslimahs)! You're like what one would call, a doting mother! that's honestly not a bad thing despite how people see it.. Insha'Allaah they'll thank you for all you're doing for them, one day.
I was told kids should be watched closely and taught about the basics of the deen and how a true Muslim is like from 24 months old till they reach the age of 7. And I completely agree. Kids tend to be quite good at imitating the actions and doing of those around them. That's how they learn. And kids will end up treating you exactly the way you treat them(manner wise I mean). I've witnessed this myself. So insha'Allah keep to your way sister. Don't have doubts about them turning out opposite of what you're teaching them, rather hope and pray that they hold firm onto the right path when time comes for them to be 'grown-ups'.

Read Qur'an to them often. This is really important! Parents fail to introduce the Mushaf to their children wallah. Instead they're reading them a story a some magical fairytale. Princess and princes. Just plain rubbish which may later create illusions in the child's mind. Also Continue to play with them and show them a good time but always, Always Remind them of Allaah. Even through happiness, teach them that Allah should be remembered.

But one thing I would suggest to you is to let them go out and experience the reality when time comes. No matter how much you want to keep them away from the big bad world out there, they'll have to go out eventually.
I know of a mother who is so over-protective of her daughter that she never lets her go out on her own unless she's going to school. I mean never! She would go with her and her friend to the cinema, amusement park..you name it, she's there with her! And guess what happened, her daughter ended up smoking weed with her 'school friends'. Subhanak! SCHOOL! The only place her mother wouldn't follow her to because apparently it's 'safe'...

So insha'Allah, don't try to stop the inevitable from happening.

And all will be fine bi'ithnillaah!

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
wow! THANK YOU EVERYBODY FOR YOUR OPINIONS!THRY GAVE ME A SHIVER.I disliked since the beginning to make them talk to their dolls and I said them that they are fake and don't speak.if they see a statue I say them:"hadhy hyia asnam min kafar billah",I try to print them the meaningless of the objects that many people worship.even cartoons.for a moment I wanted to make them watch them,but from a research on internet I discovered how many subliminal messages are hidden in them(most of them are sexual).then,bad words,violence and in the end:how could in a cartoon an animal talk to a child?it's a non-sense.as I said to my husband,I came out of a world of lies,I understood that it's always better to say the truth,even bad,but I wish my children to be the swords of Islam,I wish them to be perfect,even if at first sight it seems that they have many limits and many times it's said to them "NO".I don't want them to fall into what I came out:I would never forgive to myself.to be exact I have 2 older daughter of 2 and 3 years old,but I have also a son of 16 months and another daughter of 1 month.mashallah,my home is full of children and I love all them with much love.If it was possible I'd not stop here.Just another son!in sh Allah

 

[islamirama]

You can buy islamic story books for them with isamic morals and lessons. for cartons you can look into "adam's world", it's islamic cartoon. looking ahead, you can even home school them. It's a growing trend even among christians in america these days

 

[hayat84]

it's not the same in Italy.the childhood's school of my town sends me every semester the invitation to make my children go there,but I refuse because I know how vulgar the children are.they one time sent me the greetings of christmas in a card and big green christmas tree.by the way I refused my other religions,I don't see any reason why my children should go in a catholic school,isn't it??My idea was to let them know how to read arabic and italian,and when they reach the right age,I'd give them their first book to read alone:the Quran.because I found that in Quran there are no fake images nor cartoons,but only the truth.

 

[islamirama]

I don't think being a helicopter mom will help. You should ask your husband's input on this as well. There is nothing wrong in letting the read other educational kids books. They might rebel against you in their teens if you keep this up, best approach is to give them proper education, teaching what we as Muslims believe and what the others (non-Muslims) believe and how they are different or alike. Make them informed individuals and make dua Allah keep them on the right path and leave it in Allah's hands.

 

[um muhammad al-mahdi]

:salam2: Hayat,

I'm sure you are a wonderful mother mashaAllah tabarakaAllah! Being a parent is not easy, alhamdulillah and it's our responsability in front of Allah Ta'ala to make sure we are a good example for our kids and teach them Islam, inshaAllah!

I agree with avoid watching tv and I don't think they would see it as something they 'would love' to watch if their mum doesn't watch it too mashaAllah. Kids copy bad and good manners at home subhanaAllah. As for the cartoons, you could let them watch the ones on line 'Ahkam alQuran', in arabic mashaAllah without music of course. You could watch with them to practise your arabic mashaAllah.

InshaAllah khayr! And may Allah help us to raise pious muslims inshaAllah!