How we can get through hardships and trials in our lives

Discussion in 'Islamic Discussion' started by The_truth, Oct 6, 2010.

  1. Shak78
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    Shak78 Junior Member

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    Jazakallahu khaira for this post, it is so relevant too me right now.
  2. Iwantpeace
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    THank you so much for this post. I'm am feeling so much better after reading this post. I so needed this post :) Thank you so so much again.
  3. The_truth
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    The_truth Junior Member

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    What does it mean to be patient through trials and hardships?


    What it means to be patient through hardships is to accept the decree of Allah and not to question it saying: "Why me"? to Allah. We should accept that Allah has inflicted this hardship on us in order to test us so that he may differentiate the strong and firm believer to the weak.

    By being patient it also means that we should not complain to others about our hardships trials and misfortunes but we should remain steadfast and thank Allah and ask him to make us patient and fim. We should put all of our trust in Allah and know that he is doing what is best for us.

    Patience through hardships removes sins

    No Muslim is afflicted with harm because of sickness or some other inconvenience, but that Allah will remove his sins for him as a tree sheds its leaves. (Bukhari)
    We should know that these afflictions will disolve our sins like salt dissolves in water and it maybe that on the day of judgement a person who was tested so much that he may little or no sins left.

    No one is granted a gift better and more comprehensive than patience. (Bukhari and Muslim)


    Patience through prayer

    We should ask of Allah to remove our burden as long as it is better for us but those with the firmest of beliefs want to be tested more so that they may gain closeness to Allah because it is trials and hardships which bring a believer closest to Allah.

    It is trials and hardships which cause a person to be the best of the believers and gain the highest ranks of Jannah. It is trials and beliefs which make a person a strong firm believer.
    O ye who believe! seek help with patient perseverance and prayer: for Allah is with those who patiently persevere. (2:153)

    Seek (Allah's) help with patient perseverance and prayer. (2:45)

    So when we experience trials and hardships then Allah is wanting us to be patient and persevere and turn towards him in prayer. As well as the 5 daily Salaah we should turn towards him in the latter portions of the night at Tahajjud time for this is a time when Allah showers his mercy the most. We should beg and cry to him and ask of him for forgiveness and also thank him abundantly.

    And during part of the night (also) celebrate His praises and (so likewise) after the postures of adoration. (50:40)

    But man has been created impatient:
    Truly man was created very impatient: fretful when evil touches him, and niggardly when good reaches him. (70:19-21)
    There are two categories of people that we should never fall into regarding trials and hardships:

    1. One is he who asks of Allah when affliction hits him but when the affliction is over then it is as though Allah never helped him and he hows ungrattitude to Allah.
    When trouble touches a man he cries unto Us (in all postures) lying down on his side or sitting or standing. But when We have solved his trouble he passes on his way as if he had never cried to Us for a trouble that touched him! Thus do the deeds of transgressors seem fair in their eyes! (10:12)
    2. The second is he who when calamity strikes him he breaks down and becomes indifferent to Allah and his commands as if he is owed a comfortale life.
    Among men is he who worships Allah, while remaining on the borderline; if any good befalls him, he is satisfied; but if a trial afflicts him, he utterly turns away. He will incur loss both of this world and the Hereafter. That indeed is a clear loss. (21:11)
    The patience of Yaqub (As)

    The story of Yaqub (As) or Job (As) is a perfect example of the purpose of tests. He was such a firm and strong believer that shaythan asked Allah to test him that is faith may weaken but even after Yaqub (As) lost everything from wealth, health, wife and family he was even stronger in faith and belief.

    Sameway we are tested to see if we will become stronger believers and closer to Allah or whether we will lose our imaan and become closer to shaythan and our nafs (desires).

    The best people are those who are tested the most and come out of their tests stronger in faith. Those who were tested the most were the Prophets because they were the best of people.

    Hardships and Trials are a blessing in disguise

    So if a trial and hardship comes our way then we should see it as a blessing in disguise and should remain patient and steadfast and put our full trust, hopes and reliance in Allah and know that victory will be ours in the end.
    Verily with every difficulty, there is relief. (94:6)
    Verily, the Hereafter will be better for thee than the present. (93:4)

    There are even reward for past trials and hardships:
    If any Muslim man or woman suffers a calamity and keeps it in his memory, even if it happened a long time ago, saying each time it is remembered:

    Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raaji'oon

    'We belong to Allah and to Him do we return,' Allah, who is Blessed and Exalted will give a fresh reward each time it is said, equivalent to the reward when it happened. (Ahmad)


    Life is a test ground

    So we need to view this life as a test ground and tests and calamitys as ways of Allah the main examiner testing us to see how well we will be able to do in this test.

    Imam Ibn'l Qayyim (Rahimahullah) said:
    The divine decree related to the believer is always a bounty, even if it is in the form of withholding (something that is desired), and it is a blessing, even if it appears to be a trial, and an affliction that has befallen him is in reality a cure, even though it appears to be a disease!

    Unfortunately, due to the ignorance of the worshipper, and his transgressions, he does not consider anything to be a gift or a blessing or a cure unless he can enjoy it immediately, and it is in accordance with his nature. If he were only given a little bit of understanding, then he would have counted being withheld from as a blessing, and the sickness as a mercy, and he would relish the trouble that befalls him more than he relishes his ease, and he would enjoy poverty more than he enjoys richness, and he would be more thankful when he is blessed with little than when he is blessed with a lot.
    We should realise that we are only going to be tested for a very short while compared to the eternal rewards that await us as after death we can enjoy the fruits of our patience FOREVER!

    May Allah enable us to be steadfast and patient through trials and hardships and come out firmer and stronger believers. Ameen
  4. Tabassum07
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    Tabassum07 Smile for Allah

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    JazakAllahu Khayr - what a beneficial post.
  5. The_truth
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    10 Ways To Overcome Sadness

    10 Ways To Overcome Sadness



    1. Live for each new day:



    Know that whatever you have gone through in your past is gone and will never come back: So everyday is a new and fresh day. Yesterday is a distance memory and today is what matters. Therefore live for today and live for each new and fresh day and do not think about yesterday as it is gone and do not think too much about tomorrow for it may never come.


    2. Each second that goes by we will never get back again:



    Know that each second is a true blessing and every second that ticks by can never again be regained so why should we waste our precious time being sad when our sadness will not change anything and will not benefit us in anyway but that which will benefit us in this world and the next is our good deeds.

    So Think to yourself: "Why am i wasting my precious seconds being down when i will NEVER get back these seconds again. So there is NO time to for me to be down for my time is so little and it may end at any second".



    3. Know that our life is pre-destined:


    Whatever will happen will happen so there is no point being down when our sadness will not affect the outcome od our destiny.

    So think to yourself: "Why am i wasting this precious time being upset when everything is pre-destined so whatever will happen will happen so there is NO point me being down about it".



    4. Think of your death:


    Surely death wakes us up into the true reality of our life that we are living to die. Each second that goes by is closer to our death. So why should we be sad when we know our purpose in this life and so we should do EVERYTHING to fulfill that purpose and that means not waste a second on that which will not benefit us in this life or the next.

    Therefore there is NO point being sad and when we are sad then we should remind ourselves of death and that we will end up in the grave with nothing but our deeds so we should do everything to please Allah and prepare for our daths for sadness will just waste our time and hold us back from fulfilling the very purpose of our life and making the best of the life we have.


    5. Think of the hereafter:


    Think about the time when the sun will be SO close to the Earth. When When you will stand with every creation in the universe and be ready to face Allah with your deeds. This will encourage you to get up and snap out of your sadness and realise that you have to prepare for that day when you will face Allah just you and your deeds! So what point is there being sad? Will it help us when we face Allah on the day of judgement? NO but doing good deeds will!


    6. Look at those who have less than you:


    When you are sad then just look at those who have less than you. Look at what you have been given in comparison to them. You have food on a plate 3 times a day whereas they struggle to get a crumb of flour.

    You drink out of purified tap water when they drink from dirty contaminated water full of disease. Others do not even have a drop to drink for several days.

    You have shelter and heated homes whereas they live in a tent and refuge camp. They have nothing to keep them sheltered whereas you have four walls with a roof.

    You have wealth that you can buy all the luxuries in the world whereas they can only dream of what you have.

    So look at those with less and those who have nothing. Then know how lucky you are so should you really be sad? Instead thank Allah and spend in his path that he may give you more in this world and the hereafter.



    7. Appreciate that you have been given imaan(faith)out of so many:



    You could have been born in any era and in any faith or religion. You could have been of those who were misguided. You could have been of those who were not favoured by Allah but you have been given the most special gift of ALL imaan!

    Therefore appreciate it and thank Allah for it night and day. Why would you be sad when you have been favoured out of countless others?



    8. Make dua to Allah:



    Whenever you are down then make dua to Allah. Turn to him in the latter part of the night when he will attend to you quicker. Turn to him when others are deep in their sleep. Turn to him in humility, meekness and humbleness. Turn to him knowing that he is listening. Turn to him knowing he is the closest to you. Turn to him knowing he cares and he truly loves you.

    Cry to him and beg of him to forgive you. Ask of him to fulfill your needs but at the same time trust in him that he will do what is best for you. If he wants you to be patient then be patient for you will get SO MUCH BETTER IN RETURN!

    Turn to him knowing he WILL answer your prayer, if not now, then tomorrow. If not tomorrow then in the hereafter and that is when we will be rewarded most for our dua's and we would wish that NO dua was accepted so that we recieved EVERY reward for our dua in the hereafter.



    9. Make pleasing Allah the source of your pleasure in this life:



    If we make pleasing Allah the source of our pleasure in this life then HOW can we ever be sad? When we live each day to have a highflying career we will never be fully satisfied no matter where our career is because we always want to have a better career.

    When we live for money then we will never be satisfied because we always want more and will always try new ventures and ways in order to get more and more.

    When we live for other people then they will always let us down in one way or another.

    But if we live to please Allah and do good deeds that will make us feel closer to him then what better pleasure is there in life.

    So when you are feeling sad then think: "Let me get up and do good in order to please Allah for that is my source of true happiness in this life"

    So make EVERYDAY a day when you will want to please Allah more than yesterday. When you are sad then turn to Allah and make him the source of your true happiness. Make the pleasure of pleasing him the means of you NEVER becoming sad again.



    10. RELY ON ALLAH:


    Most of all rely on Allah. Know that he is there for you and closer to you than your jugular vein. Know that he knows you better than you know yourself. Know that he loves you more than any soul ever could. Know that he is there for you when others arent. Know that he will never let you down when others will. Know that whatever you go through in life.

    So put your FULL trust, faith and reliance in him and know that is is ALWAYS there so trust in him.


    May Allah enable us to do everything to please him and to put our full trust in him. Ameen
  6. The_truth
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    The_truth Junior Member

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    The House of Praise built for those who are patient when great affliction hits them:

    It is narrated in the Hadith that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: "When a man's child dies, Allah, may He be exalted, says to His angels:

    'Have you taken the soul of the child of My slave?'

    They say, 'Yes.'

    He says, although He knows best, 'Have you taken the apple of his eye?'

    They say, 'Yes.'

    He says: 'What did My slave say?"

    They say: 'He praised You and said

    "Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi Raji'un"

    (Verily to Allah we belong and unto Him is our return).'

    Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says: 'Build a house for My slave in Paradise and call it the house of praise.'"

    [al-Tirmidhi].
  7. The_truth
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    The_truth Junior Member

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    Saying "Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi Raji'un"and asking Allah to give you something better in retun for loss:


    Umm Salamah (RA) said: I heard the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) say:

    "There is no person who is afflicted with a calamity and says:

    'Verily to Allah we belong and unto Him is our return. O Allah, reward me for my affliction and compensate me with something better'

    - but that Allah will reward him for his affliction and compensate him with something better."

    She said: When Abu Salamah died, I said: Who is better than Abu Salamah, the companion of the Messenger of Allah? Then Allah caused me to say it and I said it.

    She said: Then I married the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him).

    Subhanallah Allah truly does give a person better in return!
  8. Precious Star
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    Yes, but it is not always in this life. You may be afflicted with tests and hardships in this life despite makign repeated dua, and only obtain something better in the Hereafter.
  9. Astrugglingsoul
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    :salam2: brother

    this thread is amazing, wonderful and :ma: very beneficial
    it seems to me you are a very knowlegeable person and may allah make you more knowlegeable and give you ability to share more threads like this, Ameen!!
  10. Laure
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    Laure New Member

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    Thanks you brother may allah reward you for that. I m havin big problem with my husband now almost i dnt kne what to do but you just help me.
    I have to be patient and pray trust Allah he knw wat it the best for me.
    Pray for me
  11. esperanza
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    esperanza revert of many years

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    yes thank you brother,we all need these reminders,as we all face difficult times in life
  12. The_truth
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    The_truth Junior Member

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    Loss and grief is part of the test.



    Loss and grief is part of the test. When a person encounters loss or grief, it actually a test, which Allah is putting us through. Allah says, " Be sure, We shall test you through fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil) but glad tidings to those who patiently persevere." [Surah Baqarah, Chapter 2, Verse 155]

    It is natural to feel sorrow over a loss, whether it be concerning wealth and possesion or losing a loved one. But Islam teaches muslims to remain steadfast at all times. When a hard time befalls him, or a grief overwhelms him, a muslim should turn his attention to Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala, and should pray and supplicate. And Allah will give him the strength to endure the loss and pain.

    Islam teaches us to remain patient in the greatest of losses and not to greive unnecessesarily over what has been lost; as life in this world is temporary. Eveything is bound to an end one day.

    Moreover, everything is predestined Allah has already written the "fate" of everyone, as Allah says in Surah Hadeed, " No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but it is incribed in the Book of Decrees (Al Lauh ul Mahfooz) before We bring it into existance. Verily, that is easy for Allah. In order that you may not grieve at the things that you fail to get, nor rejoice over that which has been given to you. And Allah likes not prideful boasters. [Surah Al Hadeed, Verses 22-23]

    A Muslim should never complain about a loss he faces; as everything in this world belongs to Allah, and whatever happens is due to Allah's decision and whatever Allah has decided is, for the benefit of the muslim, whether the benefit is in this world or the hereafter, or both, this too is Allah's decision.

    May Allah make us steadfast through loss and Grief. Ameen
  13. Hajjerr
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    Hajjerr He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram

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    :salam2: very helpfull posts, i need it so much, thank you. May Allah swt keep our patience, make easy for us to do good deeds,to keep us away from bad whispers, to make us strong thru trials because is so easy to sleep away from the path ,may He allow us to trust only Him and increase our iman, Ameen
  14. finding light
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    finding light Ya Rab! Forgive me..

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    Thank you so much for a wonderful post.
    I have a few questions tho, maybe someone can answer....
    What is it that is considered as a trial? It is a hardship we encounter even tho we feel we do not deserve it? or could it also be something bad that we feel was inevitable because we have been wrong?
    I ask because I am going through a really hard "trial" right now involving someone very close to me. The worst trial I could possibly face in my whole life. I need her forgiveness for something I did very wrong. It is a result of something that i did. So i fully accept that i deserve this. but is it cosidered a trial or a deserved punishment?

    also off topic if i may ask:
    If I die before she forgives me or if she only forgives me after i die, does Allah accept this? what if (God forbid) she dies without having forgave me (although I know she will forgive in time Inshallah), it is counted that I will never be forgiven by her?
  15. The_truth
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    The_truth Junior Member

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    Asalaamu Alaikum,


    The difference between punishments and trials

    Punishments are what happen to people in return for their evil deeds. Trials are tests which are sent to try people, and people may be tested by good things or by bad.

    Concerning punishments, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allaah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself…” [al-Nisa’ 4:79]

    Concerning the phrase “is from yourself”, Qutaadah said: “[It means] the punishment is for you, O son of Adam, because of your sin.” Abu Saalih said that “whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself” means “because of your sin, and I [Allaah] am the One Who decreed it for you.” (Tafseer Ibn Katheer).

    Allaah also says (interpretation of the meaning): “And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much.” [al-Shoora 42:30]

    Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy on him, said: “[It means] whatever misfortune happens to you, O people, is because of evil deeds that you have already done, and ‘He pardons much’ refers to evil deeds – He does not punish you for them but He pardons them. ‘And if Allaah were to punish men for that which they earned, he would not leave a moving (living) creature on the surface of the earth…’ [Faatir 35:45 – interpretation of the meaning].”

    Concerning trials, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If Allaah loves a people, He tries them, and whoever has patience will have patience, and whoever is anxious will be anxious.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1706).

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said: “The extent of the reward will be in accordance with the extent of the trial. If Allaah loves a people, He tries them, and whoever is content will have contentment, and whoever is angry will have anger.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 2320; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2210).

    The following outlines how one may tell whether a given event is a punishment or a trial:

    If the misfortune results from doing an act of obedience to Allaah, such as being wounded in jihaad, or losing money when migrating for the sake of Allaah, or losing a job because of becoming Muslim or increasing one’s commitment to Islam, then this is a trial. Whoever bears it with patience will be rewarded, but if one reacts angrily then one will earn the wrath of Allaah. If the misfortune results from sin, such as sexually-transmitted diseases or illnesses caused by drinking alcohol and taking drugs, and so on, then this is the kind of punishment that comes in this world (as opposed to being deferred until the Hereafter). If the misfortune is connected neither to a good deed nor a sin – such as other kinds of disease and sickness, losing a child, or failing in business – then it depends on the person’s situation. If he is good and devout, it is a trial, and if he is sinful, it is a punishment.

    The misfortune may be a punishment to atone for sins, or it may be a trial aimed at raising a person’s status and increasing his hasanaat (good deeds/rewards) – this may be determined by whether a person is obedient or disobedient. A person should not praise himself, rather he should criticize himself for his shortcomings and strive to attain perfection. He will benefit from misfortunes in any case, if he has patience and hopes for reward. And Allaah knows best.

    Source:http://islamqa.com/en/ref/324

    Regarding the issue with your friend then continue to try and gain her forgiveness and make her realise what a big mistake you had made etc but don't pester her too much just do so now and again. At the sametime ask Allah for forgiveness and for him to soften her heart for her to forgive you. Also make much dua for her regarding her forgivness of sins and her to be saved from the grave punishment and fire and to be admitted to Jannah etc.

    That is the best you can do and so if your truly remorseful and your repentance is sincere then you will find Allah forgiving.
  16. finding light
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    finding light Ya Rab! Forgive me..

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    Jazakallah Khair for your answer. This clarifies it for me. Either way, I am trying my best to use my punishment/trial to better myself Inshallah. Make dua that I be forgiven by Allah and my friend.
  17. The_truth
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  18. The_truth
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  19. The_truth
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    Hardship as a blessing


    Sufyaan Athawri (RA) says:


    “In our view, a person does not have an understanding of the religion until he thinks of a hardship as being a blessing, and a comfort and luxury as being a hardship.”
  20. truthseeker63
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    Pray about it.

    Pray about it.

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